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[活动] 2。8作文 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-2-8 15:25:37 |显示全部楼层
2.8 Being creative, rather than planning carefully, will come up with best solution to a problem.


Concerning the merits of planning carefully preponderate over the superiority of being creative when we try to find the best solution to a problem, I totally agree with the statement that an explicit plan, rather than creative idea, will come up with the best solution.


To begin with, it is indisputable that explicit plan would help us find cues to deal with difficulty. It is useful than being creative, especially when we have no idea in a tough issue. Take a hiking club I attend for example. Once we planed to arrange a hiking to a mounting area which was far away from our settlement. Meanwhile, all the club members were little familiar with that district. In this case, as an organizer of this activity, I also had no idea that how to find the fastest and economical route to our destination. Without creative idea, I googled sorts of information about custom of this area and experiences other people shared
on the geographic magazine. Basing on those researches, I made up an explicit plan, including the routine, foods required, suitable outfits, time schedule and other activity tips. The fact was that we successfully completed this hiking assignment. And making up an explicit plan was regarded by my club members as best solution to settle an unfamiliar problem from then on.


Furthermore, it is undoubted that an existed solution could be further improved by an explicit plan, thus becoming best solution to a problem. Take my sister for another example. When I taught her how to built up blocks, I found that although she came up sorts of good idea, she failed to complete her design. In this case, I told her to think twice after she came up a creative idea. Following my guidance, she made up a list to arrange the steps of building explicitly. Then she found that it
was the plan, not creative idea, which helped her successfully build up the shape she required. So, a well-rounded plan can improve the original idea which was came up by inspiration and make it best solution.


Finally, I admit that creative idea sometimes would bring us inspiration to solve problems. However, this
initial solution cannot be claimed as the best approach, and still had to be improved in some aspects.


Judging from what I mentioned above, an explicit and well-rounded plan is beneficial for us to find out problem step by step, meanwhile it can also make an original scenario to a problem better. Therefore, planning carefully plays a
more important role than being creative to help us attain best solution.

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发表于 2010-2-9 19:14:47 |显示全部楼层
2.8 Being creative, rather than planning carefully, will come up with best solution to a problem.

Concerning the merits of planning carefully preponderate over the superiority of being creative when we try to find the best solution to a problem, I totally agree with the statement that an explicit plan, rather than creative idea, will come up with the best solution.(不错的开头,够简洁,却又不乏好句子)

To begin with, it is indisputable that explicit plan would help us find cues to deal with difficulty. It is useful than being creative, especially when we have no idea in a tough issue. Take a hiking club I attend (attended) for example. Once we planed to arrange a hiking to a mounting area which was far away from our settlement. Meanwhile, all the club members were little (barely) familiar with that district. In this case, as an organizer of this activity, I also had no idea that (about) how to find the fastest and economical route (shortcut) to our destination. Without creative idea, I googled sorts of information about custom of this area and experiences other people shared on the geographic magazine. Basing on those researches, I made up an explicit plan, including the routine, foods required, suitable outfits, time schedule and other activity tips. The fact was that we successfully completed this hiking assignment. And making up an explicit plan was regarded by my club members as best solution to settle an unfamiliar problem from then on.

Furthermore, it is undoubted that an existed solution could be further improved by an explicit plan, thus becoming best solution to a problem. Take my sister for another example. When I taught her how to built up blocks, I found that although she came up (with) sorts of good idea, she failed to complete her design. In this case, I told her to think twice after she came up a creative idea. Following my guidance, she made up a list to arrange the steps of building explicitly. Then she found that it was the plan, not creative idea, which helped her successfully build up the shape she required. So, a well-rounded plan can improve the original idea which was came up by inspiration and make it best solution.


2 C* ^; F" c0 n! o

Finally, I admit that creative idea sometimes would bring us inspiration to solve problems. However, this initial solution cannot be claimed as the best approach, and still had to be improved in some aspects.



3 m- y# o" P+ w0 A: \

Judging from what I mentioned above, an explicit and well-rounded plan is beneficial for us to find out problem step by step, meanwhile it can also make an original scenario to a problem better. Therefore, planning carefully plays a more important role than being creative to help us attain best solution.

全文几乎没有语法问题。但是分析角度个人感觉不是很同意,从陈述中并没有看出计划的优势,虽有些说明,但是感觉相当牵强,感觉是为了提醒别人自己没有偏题而强加上去的,另外例子也不是那么的convincing.最后finally那一段放在最后感觉有点头重脚轻的感觉,倒不如放在第一段后面,先承认一点负面的,然后再说好处,欲扬先抑,感觉更有说服力!加油!

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发表于 2010-2-9 20:23:38 |显示全部楼层
多谢楼上指点 为啥我每次都是为了写例子而写例子 自己也发现这个问题 真是头痛

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发表于 2010-2-9 22:00:23 |显示全部楼层
还有很多我在DOC里用红色标出了的复制后就没有了。。。
Being creative, rather than planning carefully, will come up with best solution to a problem.8 t* T6 W' m! t8 ?
6 d2 Y. h3 w; N% a4 M) N. RConcerning the merits of planning carefully preponderate over the superiority of being creative when we try to find the best solution to a problem, I totally agree with the statement that an explicit plan, rather than creative idea, will come up with the best solution.

/ P9 {# w" W5 _/ |" C/ h( YTo begin with, it is indisputable that explicit plans would help us find cues to deal with difficulties. It is useful than being creative, especially when we have no idea in a tough issue. Take a hiking club I attended for example. Once we planned to arrange a hiking to a mounting area which was far away from our settlement. Meanwhile, all the club members were (little familiar)unfamiliar with that district. In this case, as an organizer of this activity, I also had no idea that how to find the fastest and most economical route to our destination. Without creative ideas, I (googled)searched all sorts of information about customs of this area and experiences (other people) shared on the geographic magazine. Basing on those researches, I made up an explicit plan, including the routine, foods required, suitable outfits, time schedule and other activity tips. The fact was that we successfully completed this hiking assignment. And making up an explicit plan was regarded by my club members as a best solution to settle an unfamiliar problem from then on.(个人以为最后一句总结以偏概全,一个例子推广到所有其他情况,不妥)

1 @  L2 A7 v6 [Furthermore, it is undoubted that an existed solution could be further improved by an explicit plan, thus becoming a best solution to a problem. Taking my sister for another example. When I taught her how to build up blocks, I found that although she came up with some sorts of good idea, she failed to complete her design. In this case, I told her to think twice after she came up a creative idea. Following my guidance, she made up a list to arrange the steps of building explicitly. Then she found that it was the plan, not creative idea, which helped her successfully build up the shape she required. So, a well-rounded plan can improve the original idea which was came up by inspiration and make it the best solution.
(少量的定冠词,介词使用不当,语句通顺,但是句式变化不够,建议可以穿插点强调句,反问句,倒装句,丰富句式和结构)

) r4 c5 N- N3 n& U7 \2 oFinally, I admit that creative ideas sometimes will bring us inspiration to solve problems. However, this initial solution cannot be claimed as the best approach, and still need to be improved in some aspects.

        ' V- C! p, w6 E: AJudging from what I mentioned above, an explicit and well-rounded plan is beneficial for us to find out problems step by step, meanwhile it can also make an original scenario to a problem better. Therefore, planning carefully plays a more important role than being creative to help us attain best solution.
       
        纵观全文,mm的文章语句基本通顺,用词也基本准确,论点也都基本陈列清楚,本人估计打分应该在3-4分之间。
        觉得以下几个方面如果改进对总体应该有0.5-1分的提升空间:
        句式,词汇的丰富,如有意识地穿插一些不同句式,尤其是问句(attention getter)和倒装,可以加分。
        2.增加论点的层次和说服力。个人感觉以上某些论点比较平淡,关联性有待加强。
        最后,good luck and let's preserve to the end of TOEFL!

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