argument35 刚写完，求人帮我改改

魔芋艾米UID: 2700135

ARGUMENT35 - The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.

"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."


In this argument, the auther claimes that Salicylates can be used in headaches treament and people can reduce the number of headaches in Mentia by the application of salicylates. To support this argument, the arguer assers a study that salicylates have been used for food addictives for many years and this is coincident with the fewer people suffered from headaches than before. The argument contains several unconvincing assumptions and therefore is unpersuasive.

One problem with this argument is that the auguer concludes that food-processing companies uses salicylates as preservatives in their production and this is paraller to the average decreasing of headaches sufferings, and automatically
assumes that the former is the reason of the latter. However, this might not be the case. for a variety of reasons, perhaps people have fewer
headaches problems with them contributes to the improvement of life that people absorb more nutrient; or perhaps most patients have been treated well for the reason that modern equipments are used in medical treatment. Without ruiling out such possibilities, the author cannot conludes that it is salicylates application in food
leads to the decline of headaches sufferings.

Secondly, even assuming salicylates used as additives can reduce the headaches problems, it is nevertheless unfair to infer that people in Mentia can benefit the same from salicylates. The arguer overlooks the different characteristis between Mentia and the respondents in study twenty years ago such as the factor of climate, the cause of headaches--heredity or unheredity. Moreover, the stable reduce in the average number of headaches from the report is not representative that of Mentia. For instance, some residents in Mentia may immigrate to another city and the total number of citizens changes.

Finally, even i concede that salicylates does effect to the decline in the headaches sufferings, it offers no evidence to substantiate that salicylates have no negative effects.
People may have other problems that their appetite and sleeping quality is influenced if they have the food with salicylates all the time. Without considering all of these explanations, i cannot accept author's opinion of salicylates absolutely advantages to the people who have headaches.

To sum up, the arguer's assertion that salilates used to treat headaches is not supported. To bolster it, the arguer should provide more information to ensure salicylates in the treatment of headaches is the only factor that makes people suffer less than before. Further more, the arguer should take into account of more unique characteristis in Mentia. To better asses the argument, i also need to convince me that whether salicylates have other effects.

sherlockqiUID: 2764220

支持一下吧！！！:)

missingusaUID: 2625832

亲爱的同学您好~!
祝新年快乐, 虎年吉祥~复习的同时也要注意自己的身体健康哦^^
另外, 请同学留意一下发帖的正确格式, 以便搜索, 帮助到更多征战AW的同学~
正确格式可以参考此帖:
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1042201-1-1.html
谢谢~!:)

魔芋艾米UID: 2700135

亲爱的同学您好~!
祝新年快乐, 虎年吉祥~复习的同时也要注意自己的身体健康哦^^
另外, 请同学留意一下发帖的正确格式, 以便搜索, 帮助到更多征战AW的同学~
正确格式可以参考此帖:
https://bbs.gter.net/threa ...
missingusa 发表于 2010-2-14 00:33

嗯 谢谢 我已按照格式改完