xx美利坚 2.20 by 瓜子

dairymanUID: 2683905

2月20号 （09.01.10）
Do you agree or disagree that improving schools is the most important factor in successful development of country.题目似乎有问题……
As the foundation of a nation, the importance of education has been emphasized by many countries. Schools, at the same time, which can be viewed as a index of how the education issue has been handled. Thus, it seems that improving schools turned out to be the most factor in successful development of country. However, when look deep into the hardship one nation has to face, school improvement stands only for one part of all the problems that deserve to be settled. In my opinion, improving schools is one but not the most important factors in successful development of country, because the real development of a country should take many other factors into account.
Public health problems, which is of course one of the leading troublesome issues that are challenging all the governments in the world. Stand alive is the essential point for all living thing as well as we human beings. If there is no guarantee for the public's health condition, any disease can easily take millions of people's lives. And all these can threaten the country's existance, not to mention the development. So before we put all our efforts in improving school conditions, we should think about what we need to face immediately. Those health problems are and will still be one of the most difficult task for any government to deal with before they want to make the country prosper.
Another factor is the progress in industrialization. Without industries to produce everyday commodities and military weapons, the country cannot keep its order. While all the military industries contribute to the peaceful lives of all the domestic residents, any corporations or companies help serve all the products that are consumed by the residents. Industrialization is a way to strenghten the control of a country and lays the foundation of the country's economic power. Without the economic power, any nation may never thrive.
Admittedly, education is a vital issue for the successful development of a country. But if we ignore many other factors and concentrate only on school improvement, it can be impossible for the nation to develop in real success. So it is clear that though improving school is important, it is not the most important factor in successful development of a country.

clisalongUID: 2715802

As the foundation of a nation, the importance of education has been emphasized by many countries. Schools, at the same time, which can be viewed as a index of how the education issue has been handled. Thus, it seems that improving schools turned out to be the most (?)factor in successful development of country. However, when look deep into the hardship one nation has to face, school improvement stands only for one part of all the problems that deserve to be settled. In my opinion, improving schools is one but not the most important factors in successful development of country, because the real development of a country should take many other factors into account.: }* {8 Q/ E$ F3 L9 v
Public health problems, which is of course one of the leading troublesome issues that are challenging all the governments in the world. Stand alive is the essential point for all living thing as well as we human beings. If there is no guarantee for the public's health condition, any disease can easily take millions of people's lives. And all these can threaten the country's existance, not to mention the development. So before we put all our efforts in improving school conditions, we should think about what we need to face immediately. Those health problems are and will still be one of the most difficult task for any government to deal with before they want to make the country prosper.
Another factor is the progress in industrialization. Without industries to produce everyday commodities and military weapons, the country cannot keep its order. While all the military industries contribute to the peaceful lives of all the domestic residents, any corporations or companies help serve all the products that are consumed by the residents. Industrialization is a way to strenghten the control of a country and lays the foundation of the country's economic power. Without the economic power, any nation may never thrive.
Admittedly, education is a vital issue for the successful development of a country. But if we ignore many other factors and concentrate only on school improvement, it can be impossible for the nation to develop in real success. So it is clear that though improving school is important, it is not the most important factor in successful development of a country.

总结：文章表达没什么问题，可是文章展开把握不好，文章是问你同不同意，那么文章整体把握就应该是怎么反驳这个论点是不对的，而不是什么才是最重要的因素，而且如果是最重要的因素，为什么有两个呢？？？那又将问题变成了重要因素，而非最重要的因素。而且，文章缺乏例子，难以引起共鸣，太空洞了。而且文章词汇量有点缺乏，face太多了，有时候可以用encounter来转换下

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

As the foundation of a nation, the importance of education has been emphasized by many countries. Schools, at the same time, which can be viewed as a index of how the education issue has been handled. Thus, it seems that improving schools turned out to be the most factor in successful development of country. However, when look deep into the hardship one nation has to face, school improvement stands only for one part of all the problems that deserve to be settled. In my opinion, improving schools is one but not the most important factors in successful development of country, because the real development of a country should take many other factors into account.

Public health problems, which is of course one of the leading troublesome issues that are challenging all the governments in the world. Stand alive is the essential point for all living thing as well as we human beings. If there is no guarantee for the public's health condition, any disease can easily take millions of people's lives. And all these can threaten the country's existence, not to mention the development. So before we put all our efforts in improving school conditions, we should think about what we need to face immediately. Those health problems are and will still be one of the most difficult task for any government to deal with before they want to make the country prosper.7 x-


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Another factor is the progress in industrialization. Without industries to produce everyday commodities and military weapons, the country cannot keep its order. While all the military industries contribute to the peaceful lives of all the domestic residents, any corporations or companies help serve all the products that are consumed by the residents. Industrialization is a way to strengthen the control of a country and lays the foundation of the country's economic power. Without the economic power, any nation may never thrive.

Admittedly, education is a vital issue for the successful development of a country. But if we ignore many other factors and concentrate only on school improvement, it can be impossible for the nation to develop in real success. So it is clear that though improving school is important, it is not the most important factor in successful development of a country.

瓜仔的这篇文章，是想说，improving school重要但不是最重要，还有其他方面重要的factors影响country development。但是，你讲的health和industrialization也没有指明哪个是most important，只是说他们也important。所以，你否定了题目，但却没有给出一个明确的答案。至少，要把school和其他两个相比，得出哪个是most，以及为什么school不是most。
除此之外，瓜仔的语言是没什么可挑剔的，又学习了！由于太多值得我学习的句式和词汇了，我就不整篇划红线啦，嘿嘿。。。
以上观点，有何不妥的，欢迎瓜仔指出。

dairymanUID: 2683905

2月21号 （09.03.27）
Teachers should not show their political or social views known in the classroom.

Different people have different viewpoints in political or social scope, which may be formed largely in their adolescent period when they are going through education. Because such personal value systems are so important for the whole society and can be so easily guided by educators, people care much about what the teacher is cultivating to the younger generation. As far as I am concerned, it sounds fair for the teachers to show the students their viewpoints in policy and society.

Students not only need to learn facts, but also develop the subjective opinion on certain things. Believe it or not, the children's value systems are mostly formed when they are being educated and this formation is a vital process for them to become mature. Although parents account for the related influence, a large part of the value systems gained by children are influenced by their teachers. Thus, teachers have the responsibility to show how the real world is going on, especially in the political and social realms. At the same time, teachers' viewpoints on political issues may serve as an aspect to broaden students' horizon in such fields. And through the demonstration of teachers' understanding, students will learn from this kind of explanation and develop their own political or social views, which is essential for them to form.

However, although it is necessary to add teachers' personal views into the class, we should also remind of what kind of viewpoints should be taught. Political and social issues are full of controversy; the comprehensions from teachers would as well differentiate from each other. But teachers should all recognize that only positive ones should be showed to students.
Optimistic viewpoints on social issues is helpful to students' positive understanding of the society, while negative ones, can demolish students' will s and spirits for their inspirations and desires. For example, if a student acquires the thought that the world is still severely in danger and that one day some disasters would make the whole human race extinct, he may be incapable to concentrate in study and probably waste his energy in useless frustration all day long. That surely is not the result we appreciate from education. So it is still crucial to make sure the opinions shown to students are positive and helpful for their value systems.

All in all, demonstration in social and political views in class is important, as well as the way and opinion selections the teachers undergo in such process.

speedzshawUID: 2556376

习惯用批注 就直接发附件了

dairymanUID: 2683905

3月5号
Most people prefer having other people make decisions for them rather than making decisions by themselves

The time is more likely to leave less choice for people according to some arguments. Considerable decisions come regularly from the pressure of the circumstances and the influence from other people. Thus it seems that most people would have to accept decisions made by others rather than make the choices themselves. To those who prefer having other people make decisions for them, making decisions on their own seems more of benefits instead of disadvantages. However, as far as I am concerned, it is more important to learn to have their decisions.

Simply accept decisions from other people seems to be convenient, but it can make people more reliable to others and may render themselves lack of thinking and show their immaturance. Making decisions is a way to exercise one's thinking process, it is more likely a test to see if the person is mature enough to think on his own behalf. People who dear not to decide their personal issues might possibly be affectet from their own immature charactors. Mature people have the courage to choose when they are forced to, because they know no one else would take their place in certain situations. Those who experience irreluctance during the circumstances is well indication for their irreluctantance to think by themselves.  In a word, it is not proper to simply accept decision when we can make our own because making decisions is also a issue we have to deal in life.

Having other people make decisions for ourselves is also a demonstration of less self-confidence. When people trust more in others, it is possible that they would choose instead of their own choices. This is a good example of how people are losing their confidence nowadays. To make decisions is a way to develop personal confidence and a well prompt to stand reliable on our own. Only people who do not trust themselves would negatively accept decisions from others. When one shows a brilliant confidence in himself, the possible decision would of course more likely to come from his own choice. While it is often emphasized that self-confidence should be set and developed, the process in making choices may probably also as important as confidence itself.

All in all, the facially advantage to free oneself from making decisions is actually not that appropriate. In order to develop the precious access to thinking and self-confidence, it is vital to make choices on one's own.

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

考完了还学习呀

happyfaith2008UID: 2709856

是好筒子~~~

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

瓜仔 哈哈哈 还是写作文啦 加油

happyfaith2008UID: 2709856

稍微改了一下，瓜仔作文不错~~

hulinlin24UID: 2731389

瓜子的。。。修改意见：
句子啊结构啊单词啊很好，33也给你改得很细，我就不改了
主要是内容，貌似瓜子写惯了G的。。写T的就是大道理大道理的论证
最好每个TS都能给个例子或者细节让文章更生动，而不是空空的讲理