Using no limit as a limit—speedzshaw作文

习惯留念UID: 2690749

Students and parents disagree over whether a teacher who is serious and strict is prone to teach effectively in class. An implicit consensus among many parents is yes, for students, no. For my part, I hold that whether it is serious teacher or easygoing one(这里有点问题吧，省略太多了，没有清楚的表达出意思，另外SERIOUS和STRICT，HUMOR和EASYGOING应该是两对词语，不能用其中的一个代表另一个，这个可能审题上要注意）, it needs full consideration., k0 u. m- x2 W; `$ t
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To leap off, serious teacher tend to have perfect control of what they are teaching in class. We can often hear what parents complain how much they desired to have their mischievous children controlled. Indeed, teacher who pushes hard on students far less readily build(s) prestige among students, thus(如果表示结果的话，可OMIT THUS直接SHUDDERING） shudders some students out of playing tricks in class or whatever（WHATEVER有点口语化）. Also strict requirements are demanded in doing homework and taking exams. Besides, for such teachers themselves, their willingness to immerse their effort in teaching paves way for a better environment in class. Furthermore, students could be encouraged to try their best to be harsher on themselves and cultivate（这里应该与BE ENCOURAGED并列） the same（这个SAME可以OMIT） meticulous attitude towards study. Imagine that, how could a feeble teacher constrain the seemingly obsolescent（这个词语有点EXTREME吧。） students? In that sense, strict teachers do enjoy an advantage（复数）.

Notwithstanding, exactitude（这是名词吧） teachers would discourage students’ intentions to study or even do a（这个冠词有没有问题，CHECK IT） disservice in teaching. In particular, nowadays, teachers in growing number are beginning(不能这样表达吧，就BAGIN就行了） to develop empathy (这个词语有点高级吧。。。）with their students. They behave more naturally and approachable, which leaves good impression in students. For instance, my classmates and I, when taking our math teacher who is so humorous, compared to the strict teacher in computer software, are more engaged in class.（这个句子有点没看懂。长难句。嘿嘿） It’s occasional sense of humor in class that extends the tension in class and makes it possible for him to hold student's attention; this greatly motivates students actively involved in and thus facilitates the progress of teaching. Besides, it's counterproductive or even deleterious for teachers to stick relentlessly on students and kind of hampering normal exchange between students and teachers, under which circumstances, amicable teachers always have their advantages. As a consequent, teachers who are easygoing ease the hurdles in teaching.(这段最后的例子，我着实没怎么看明白，我提个小意见，楼主能不能更平民化点。词汇量真的让我膜拜。嘿嘿。这样的作文应该出现在GMAT考场上。）

Although it's been possible to infer from the commentaries and controversies actually held what kind of teachers enjoy more reputation amongst students, only a analysis of teacher-student relationship could give a precise picture of who wanted what. All in all, teaching an inter-exchange procedure that engages teachers and students alike, a procedure without either side would be worthy of its name.（还是没看懂。谓语是什么） No matter what teachers' characteristics are, severe or lenient, they have a simple aim, a solitary and unanimous goal: better students（目标是更好的学生？这个有点小问题）. Besides, students’ performance directly correlates with their（指代不明） salaries and promotion opportunities. Yet what really matters is the attitudes of students their own, in spite of the fact that students favor not that rigor. If they can't stand the teachers, however teachers（这个少个物主词吧） try is futile. In the eyes of students who really want to learn more, severity and lenience are no difference. With respect to the former, students tend to get the most out of themselves to make teachers' requirements meet, which in return galvanizes teachers to be more passionate and effective in teaching; with respect to the latter, they can have more communication with the teachers, and it's no bad choice to catch a glimpse of themselves in teachers' eyes. Teachers also get acquainted with what's in students' hearts and thus can regulate efficacious teaching for the best.

To sum up, what kind of teachers students have to face is relatively minor thing, despite that still disagreements exist, students' attitudes finally defines the effectiveness of teaching progress.

楼主。我还是坚持读完了。
想最后客观并且激动的说几句。
1.你的作文很不错。思维很严密。用词也很高级。但是我确不是太容易看懂。额。很多长难句。我感觉语法上还要下点功夫。用我还不错的GMAT语法知识来看的话。确实有些地方还值得斟酌。
2.我词汇是匮乏的。但是词汇是否恰当。这个楼主自己判断啦。因为有些时候高级词汇不如一些小词更能表达意思。而且你把题目中的KEY WORD那些都换了。SERIOUS , HUMOR,STRICT,EASYGONG换成了SEVERE和LENIENT。。我觉得会有意思上的扭曲吧。这个最好还是别私自换。
3.我想知道楼主考过T么？一战的时候作文多少分啊？我觉得你的作文真的很高屋建瓴。等我考完了。再回来特意研究下。
4.加油。嘿嘿。~

speedzshawUID: 2556376

31# 习惯留念

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2. (这里有点问题吧，省略太多了，没有清楚的表达出意思，另外SERIOUS和STRICT，HUMOR和EASYGOING应该是两对词语，不能用其中的一个代表另一个，这个可能审题上要注意）

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当时为了图方便就没写全了 看来表达是有点偏了

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2. are beginning(不能这样表达吧，就BAGIN就行了）

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这样表达应该还是可以的 在文章里看过

1. (这段最后的例子，我着实没怎么看明白，我提个小意见，楼主能不能更平民化点。词汇量真的让我膜拜。嘿嘿。这样的作文应该出现在GMAT考场上。）

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这个可能是个人习惯了，不过经过企鹅教育过后，托福作文确实不同于GRE作文，所以你所说的平民化，我这朝这个目标努力，但是表达，正如草木版主所说，是一门艺术，有时候我还是比较倾向于多变的用词一点

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2. 我感觉语法上还要下点功夫。用我还不错的GMAT语法知识来看的话。确实有些地方还值得斟酌。

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这篇文章是我写得最纠结的，所以语法上可能就保证不了了，呵呵，谢谢你指正~

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2. 因为有些时候高级词汇不如一些小词更能表达意思。而且你把题目中的KEY WORD那些都换了。SERIOUS , HUMOR,STRICT,EASYGONG换成了SEVERE和LENIENT。。我觉得会有意思上的扭曲吧。这个最好还是别私自换。&

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老实说，这个问题跟别人改作文的时候，我也提过，呵呵，自己写的时候反而忘了。。。

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2. 我想知道楼主考过T么？一战的时候作文多少分啊？我觉得你的作文真的很高屋建瓴。等我考完了。再回来特意研究下。!

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没考过T，只考了G，但是还是如企鹅所说，托福作文不像GRE作文，不需要你高瞻远瞩的洋洋洒洒，所以在这方面我还得重新研究官方范文。

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2. 加油。嘿嘿。~

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花花也加油！最后，再次谢谢~

holyiriniUID: 2741598

32# speedzshaw

楼楼给我的批注看了。我今天白天起来研究一下。
看了一点楼楼的文章，觉得六百多字的，得好好看一下再改吧。
不敢说改，我就看看我能不能在你文章里提点小建议。嘻嘻。
我雅思作文考的不好，望楼楼多多指教。

PS:改好了。见附件。

speedzshawUID: 2556376

33# holyirini
谢谢修改
个别词因为是GRE词汇 你可能不了解
不过谢谢了 我会仔细研读的

mpromanusUID: 2565872

16# speedzshaw

Perhaps no other thing has such power to lift the poor out of his poverty, the wretched out of his misery, to make the burden-bearer forget his burden, the sick his sufferings, as sports. The very nature of sport, which has a natural origin? (Exactly what kind of origin would be a 'natural' origin? One that's related with plants and animals? One that's not artificial? Or conversely, do you have an example of something that has an 'unnatural origin'? Such vague phrases can be very confusing because you're not expressing enough of what you were exactly thinking about.) , reveals the laws regulating the real world (Again, this seems to be a favourite phrase of Chinese students that means 'the realistic world', but it just makes no sense in many contexts - as if there's actaully a 'fake world' somewhere! In your context, I guess the phrase to use would be 'the physical world'.), and people recognize life in doing sports. And for me, I agree entirely that people can learn lessons from sports.

To leap off (I'd guess you mean to say 'jumpstart', as in 'to jumpstart the discussion'.), in doing sports, of course, the primary thing is to be the winner. Human beings are also animals, evolved after numerous generations yet retaining some of the traits of animals, which is pursuing the priority (In, or of, what? The priority in mating? In dividing territories? In the pecking order?). Just as the motto of Olympic Games teaches us: higher, faster, and stronger, then we have mount-climbers (If you're talking about climbers who climb mountains as a sport, then they are called 'mountaineers'.) gallantly surmounting the Qomolangma and treating every difficulty with ease. In doing sports, we, taking continuous formal exercises and maybe receiving professional inculcation (This word means to teach by repetition and scolding. Well, professionals do that, I guess.), enhance our capacities and thus the probability to win on the courts (Not all sports activities involve courts, I guess. Chess certainly does not. Or maybe it does, depending on what you think 'courts' and 'sports' mean..). While in real life, similarly we have to pursue for better achievements in examinations or work. Besides, not only does winning a game, but also how to adjust one’s feelings when one's nervous, formidable? (Who's formidable? The 'one' in the sentence? To be 'formidable' is to be 'scary', but I think you were actually trying to say something more like 'scared'.) or after failure, teaches us how to behave. And that well explains why Bruce Lee could use his Jeet Kune Do to unveil philosophical ideas in life. (Good point.)

Secondly, in doing sports, everyone shows a spirit of teamwork (Even in 100-m sprints? Not all sports involve teamwork as far as I see..). Due to improved scientific technologies and the complicated modern society, people in increasing numbers are demanded to work accompanied with others to make an achievement. Needless to mention the world striking projects???, like the Human Genome Project or the Apollo Project (Oh. 'world striking'..now I see you probably meant something like 'projects that had the world's attention'..), in which scientists from all over the world majored in distinctive fields gather to do researches funded by the government (THE government of which country?), we ourselves in our universities, when taking a participating in competitions, are obliged to work side by side with partners, regulated by captains, to strive till the end. In sports, solitary life is always not welcomed (Tell that to Usain Bolt. But again, one could argue that he needs his competitors as helpers..). How could we, say, when we form a soccer team (I realize that you often do this kind of interjections in the middle of sentences. It's okay in spoken English, especially in lengthy, academic discussions, but know that these are extremely irritating in written English.), ever win a game if every one of us who took the pride of in personal performance and got the ball hogged it to themselves himself and took whatever shots they he could? (Did it ever occur to you, when you were writing this, that the very idea of 'taking pride in personal performance' versus 'hogging A ball' to 'themselves', is absurd?) No, it's the team score at the end that matters and determines who wins the game. If the team wins, they all win. (Here you need to relate back to the question a bit. Stopping at the sports level is not complete enough.)

Furthermore, doing sports reveals the depth of athletes' determination which accounts for the persistence of people's very actions of doing sports and of course physical fitness. Earnest Hemingway once wrote in his The Old Man and The Sea, that man can only be destroyed but not defeated. People in the plight always burst out with surprising conviction. Yet we’re always acknowledged? (I'm not sure what you're trying to particularly express by using 'acknowledge' here. Won't a simple 'hearing about' do?) always cases of people committing suicide, especially juveniles, who are much more vulnerable to pressure. However, compared with the fighters on the sports fields, their behaviors appear so ignorant. Lance Armstrong, champion of Tour de France, suffering from testicular cancer, fears nothing and precipitantly (This word means to be moving with violent speed, with lack of due deliberation, and often indicates a premature action rather than a positive one.) ventured to win over the cancer and laurel seven times in a row; eyes back on the UEFA EURO in 2000: French players stuck to every fiber of persistence they could muster and tied the match right before the match it was about to end. Could they ever be shuttered by difficulties in real life characters? (Characters? Why 'characters'?)? I don’t think so. Only the fortitude (This is a noun. You need an adjective here.) can be the winner in sports field, only the valorous (This form is less commonly seen. Consider 'valiant'.) can be the winner in life.

To sum up, no matter engaged in ourselves or solely watching others doing, we can catch a glimpse of our own, and until we spell out our whole individuality. (This is not a complete sentence.) Doing sports interprets life.

总结：

这位童鞋你的语言句式词汇量灰常诗意灰常华丽引经据典说理论述都很好但是你那些不恰当的用词实在是让我读到头大啊。。

You seem to have accumulated a lot of resources and vocabulary from what you're read and heard, but you just don't have the mastery over many of the words you tried to use..and you end up using them inapproriately. When you wish to use a word, please check that you know it expresses exactly what you wish to convey. Often nuisances make huge differences.

speedzshawUID: 2556376

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Telephones have had more positive effects on human kind than televisions.

Telephone or television? Same family of telecommunication but appearing at distinctive era, both involve analysis of signals and provide great impulses towards human beings. People often argue over which one has had more positive effects on human kind. For my part, I maintain that both are necessary for human kind while telephones assume more in a few respects.

To start with, the invention of television greatly revolutionizes the way of people spending their time. Long ago in Jules Verne's novel, the first appearance of television was a photo-telephoto that was brought to fruition afterwards to satisfy the intention of “seeing” the person. It fits quite well for an old saying which goes: it's better to see oneself rather than hear about for many times. Technically adding sound to moving images, televisions, television program precisely, brings about alternatives to people's lives. They like to see favorite players on the pitch shooting, singers on live performing; they enjoy witnessing procedures public meetings all covered; they favor sceneries of landscape presented in front. It doesn’t matter to be individual or as a group: with respect to the former, without even leaving his home, television presents everything, while respect with the latter, it creates an environment of exchanging ideas. What's more, demands for televisions also inspire producers of real shows to make moves to encourage people to challenge and show their talents in public, just like American Idol. This implicitly changes lifestyles of participants and audiences. Consequently, it must have been really uneasy moment without televisions in people’s lives.

Yet, it might be more irritating to be without telephone in people's lives, especially in some certain respects. Developed telephone marks the advancement in information technology, a much difference from Bell’s first phone. What's more important is that telephone keeping on presenting on all levels and information technology, collaborate to add a new phrase to people's lives: instant communication. People have a need to keep in touch instantaneously. Considering information transmission, advantages of telephone far outweigh its tele-counterpart for televisions engage no more than receiving information, while a phone call involving both sides for interaction. For example, when depressed in my life, my friends far away could relive me out of the plight and cheer me up again through a phone call. But with only television, I may lack that kind of communication to get me over, possibly exacerbating the already grave situation. It’s that telephones can serve as perfect vehicles to convey the nuisances intended by the speaker. Once more, telephone makes it possible for people to communicate at different places at the same time. Besides, under certain circumstances as emergencies like fire, if harnessed well, the great advantage of telephone in saving time for salvage is significant. One step further, along with the generation of new technology, mobile version of the telephone even eliminates the drawback for telephone ensconced and communicate wherever. In that sense, telephone serves more useful purposes towards people's lives.

To sum up, it's true that both telephone and television exert positive effects on human kinds, yet in certain aspects concerning information interaction and emergencies, television cannot compare with the other in significances.

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

Telephone or television? Same family of telecommunication but appearing at distinctive era, both involve analysis of signals and provide great impulses towards human beings. 首句长了点People often argue over which one has had more positive effects on human kind. For my part, I maintain that both are necessary for human kind while telephones assume more in a few respects你的观点我喜欢，也是我写的。开头很简洁明了

To start with, the invention of television 直接电视很合适的greatly revolutionizes the way of people spending their time. Long ago in Jules Verne's novel, the first appearance of television was a photo-telephoto that was brought to fruition afterwards to satisfy the intention of “seeing” the person. It fits quite well for an old saying which goes: it's better to see oneself rather than hear about for many times. Technically adding sound to moving images, televisions, television program precisely, brings about alternatives to people's lives. They like to see favorite players on the pitch shooting, singers on live performing; they enjoy witnessing procedures public meetings all covered; they favor sceneries of landscape presented in front. It doesn’t matter to be individual or as a group: with respect to the former, without even leaving his home, television presents everything, while respect with the latter, it creates an environment of exchanging ideas. What's more, demands for televisions also inspire producers of real shows to make moves to encourage people to challenge and show their talents in public, just like American Idol:L . This implicitly changes lifestyles of participants and audiences. Consequently, it must have been really uneasy moment without televisions in people’s lives

it might be more irritating to be without telephone in people's lives, especially in some certain respects. Developed telephone marks the advancement in information technology, a much difference from Bell’s first phone. What's more important is that telephone keeping on presenting on all levels and information technology, collaborate to add a new phrase to people's lives: instant communication. People have a need to keep in touch instantaneously. Considering information transmission, advantages of telephone far outweigh its tele-counterpart for televisions engage no more than receiving information, while a phone call involving both sides for interaction. For example, when depressed in my life, my friends far away could relive me out of the plight and cheer me up again through a phone call. But with only television, I may lack that kind of communication to get me over, possibly exacerbating the already grave situation. It’s that telephones can serve as perfect vehicles to convey the nuisances intended by the speaker. Once more, telephone makes it possible for people to communicate at different places at the same time. Besides, under certain circumstances as emergencies like fire, if harnessed well, the great advantage of telephone in saving time for salvage is significant. One step further, along with the generation of new technology, mobile version of the telephone even eliminates the drawback for telephone ensconced and communicate wherever. In that sense, telephone serves more useful purposes towards people's lives.
' p8 w9 C; z$ U8 p5 F) U! x
0 X( K: a6 V  }9 O4 Q/ MTo sum up, it's true that both telephone and television exert positive effects on human kinds, yet in certain aspects concerning information interaction and emergencies, television cannot 用被动吧cannot be compared compare with the other in significances.电话的段子在前面比较好，毕竟是电话为主题的作文。句子结构好不单一，值得借鉴。写的比较抽象

speedzshawUID: 2556376

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should live one city or in one country all their life instead of moving to live in different places.

As technology has eased many difficulties for people to travel from one place to another, people begin to think about a different life away from where they live. Then debates rage amongst people. Some people maintain that people should live in one city or country all their life. Then should we really need to abandon the chance of living different places to make our life more colorful? For my part, I disagree that people should stay in only one place entirely; it depends on things like his purposes, career or family conditions.

First, as a very experience for personal growth, people should be encouraged to experience all phases of life in different places. Just due to those differences, regional culture would add to one's life style. Meeting diversified locals and brewing distinctive traditions,  the disparity within the context of such numerous cultures must have been a shock to people. On one hand, they are able to have more experiences towards life; on the other, they can even enjoy accesses to lore that can barely be attainable from books and internet alike. Meanwhile, many people are so ambitious about themselves that it’s unwise for them to fix their eyes only on where they live. It would be conducive to them to spend lifetime in different places, which may boast different opportunities in careers and life. Talking about careers, in order to make work at ease, people could consider different places to live. For instance, painters travel to lots of places to get inspiration by different landscape for their works, which each time they ought to stay for quite a while to receive and think over. It would be beneficial for them to moving to meet the needs. Consequently, it's not a bad thing to live on the go.

Nevertheless, it's even better for some others to just stay in one places or country. Most people falling in this category are staid and not inclined to fight for more things in life. A less laborious life without many changes taking place is enough to satisfy them. In that sense, they could stay in one place because they may not fit for life on the go. And in China, there's an old saying which goes that children should not travel far from home with their parents still alive. It's true that many parents are too old to suffer swaggering from one place to another and they deserve to be taken care of in Chinese's eyes. At least in China, these kids need to stay at home. Besides, once again the careers, some people, farmers for instance, have no choice but to stay to take care of the fields. Furthermore, a stay-at-home doesn’t define a failure in life. There are very few places that Jules Verne, the great writer, did not stay. Yet the fact is that he was a stay-at-home, paying the world's most extraordinary tourist out of his fancy imagination. Thus, people can still live a life or enjoy it without moving around.

To sum up, out of different interests and concerns, anyone could choose where to live. No matter it is living in a single city or changing every so often, it’s more important for them to really live their lives.

caoxuemeiUID: 2629828

首先感谢那么认真的改我的作文哦！

我的水平有限哦，还没有到gre的水平。呵呵。不过感觉你的文章有点英国人的风格。呵呵，一个美国老师说的！

很多单词的用法我还是真的没有接触过，所以不敢妄下定论。抱歉了。
不过希望下次还跟你一个组。回来我请你吃饭。呵呵！

caoxuemeiUID: 2629828

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should live one city or in one country all their life instead of moving to live in different places.

As technology has eased many difficulties for people to travel from one place to another（as advanced technology facilitated travel for people,这样写不简单吗？）, people begin to think about a different life away from where they live(ing). Then debates rage amongst people. Some people maintain that people should live in one city or country all their life. Then should we really need to abandon the chance of living different places to make our life more colorful? For my part, I disagree that people should stay in only one place entirely; it depends on things like his purposes, career or family conditions.

First, as a very experience for personal growth(这句有点别扭哦，是gre风格吗), people should be encouraged to experience all phases（这个词的中心意思我觉得是阶段吧，但我想你要表达的是不同的生活方式哦。在一个地方生活也要经历那些阶段的年轻，年老，壮年什么的） of life in different places. Just due to those differences, regional (能知道你想表达的意思，但不确定这个词)culture would add to（add sth to sth?） one's life style. （would add various culture to one’s life style ）Meeting diversified(这个应该是变迁的意思吧,也就是不是各种各样的,而是物理性的容易变化的,用divers of places 不行吗？) locals (好奇怪的用法是学术性用法吗?)and brewing（brew用动词的意思只有酝酿意思，酒或者事情，brew名词有思想融合物的意思，可以改个句式吗？） distinctive traditions,  the disparity within the context of such numerous cultures must have been a shock to people. （这段就是指人可以从各地方的文化等方面汲取营养）
On one hand, they are able to have more experiences towards life; （可以学到对付生活的经验）on the other, they can even enjoy accesses to（两个动词连用吗？ lore that can barely be attainable from books and internet alike. （学到从书本或者网络上学不到的东西）Meanwhile, many people are so ambitious about themselves that it’s unwise for them to fix （你确定这个词吗）their eyes only on where they live.（野心勃勃的人不适合待在一个地方修正他们的观点？） It would be conducive to them to spend lifetime in different places, which may boast（夸耀？boost?）） different opportunities in careers and life（野心勃勃的人适合去不同的地方，可以得到不同的事业机会） Talking about careers, in order to make work at ease, people could consider different places to live. （为了工作起来容易，人们要去不同的地方）For instance, painters travel to lots of places to get inspiration by different landscape for their works,（比如画家去很多地方吸收灵感） which each time they ought to stay for quite a while to receive and think over.（每次他们只待一会去吸收和思考） It would be beneficial for them to moving to meet the needs. （这样可能对他们是好的，去moving 着满足他们的需求）Consequently, it's not a bad thing to live on the go
（反正活在行进中是好的）

Nevertheless, it's even better for some others to just stay in one places or country. Most people falling in this category are staid and not inclined to fight for more things in life. A less laborious life without many changes taking place is enough to satisfy them. In that sense, they could stay in one place because they may not fit for life on the go. And in China, there's an old saying which goes that children should not travel far from home with their parents still alive. It's true that many parents are too old to suffer swaggering from one place to another and they deserve to be taken care of in Chinese's eyes. At least in China, these kids need to stay at home. Besides, once again the careers, some people, farmers for instance, have no choice but to stay to take care of the fields. Furthermore, a stay-at-home doesn’t define a failure in life. There are very few places that Jules Verne, the great writer, did not stay. Yet the fact is that he was a stay-at-home, paying the world's most extraordinary tourist out of his fancy imagination. Thus, people can still live a life or enjoy it without moving around.

To sum up, out of different interests and concerns, anyone could choose where to live. No matter it is living in a single city or changing every so often, it’s more important for them to really live their lives.
  
首先感谢那么认真的改我的作文哦！

我的水平有限哦，还没有到gre的水平。呵呵。
很多单词的用法我还是真的没有接触过，所以不敢妄下定论。不过看的文章应该和看新闻联播的感觉差不多吧

抱歉了。真的很费劲的，先到这里，我眼睛脑子都不够用了。有的黑字是我为了更好的理解你要说什么翻译了一下。
不过希望下次还跟你一个组。回来我请你吃饭。呵呵！

speedzshawUID: 2556376

40# caoxuemei

As technology has eased many difficulties for people to travel from one place to another（as advanced technology facilitated travel for people,这样写不简单吗？）

对啊 改得好 简洁明了

culture would add to（add sth to sth?） one's life style.

我是以前看文章时看过有add to sth的表达 当然也是增加的意思

brewing（brew用动词的意思只有酝酿意思，酒或者事情，brew名词有思想融合物的意思，可以改个句式吗？） distinctive traditions

这个是可以的 当时作为好词 有人推荐过

they can even enjoy accesses to（两个动词连用吗？ lore that can barely be attainable from books and internet alike.

access也有名词的意思

fix （你确定这个词吗）their eyes only on

确定

which may boast（夸耀？boost?）） different opportunities in careers and life（野心勃勃的人适合去不同的地方，可以得到不同的事业机会）

说直白一点 boast有赠爆的意思 爆PP 类似的


谢谢你的修改 在你的修改基础上继续自我修改~ 还这么用心地请老美看了
英国人的文风？那是种什么效果？哈哈 我自己都不清楚

speedzshawUID: 2556376

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Printed books have greater effects on society than television has.

Many parents are complaining that the time that children spend on watching television has unfortunately taken precedence over that on reading books. Also people disagree on the effects on society between books and televisions. For my part, I kind of agree that printed books exert greater effects on society in some certain aspects, but television still hold benefits towards our society.

To start with, it's indeed that televisions are changing our society. As old saying which goes, it's better to see rather than hear about one for many times. It fits perfectly in televisions. Using motioning images, televisions present us the real world. When only words, sometimes pictures, in books alone could not possibly satisfy people's request for knowing the world, people can approach to various information and enjoy beautiful sceneries around the world through television. On one channel, it might be Barrack Obama making a speech to the America, on the other, National Geography probably shows people around the Yellow Stone Park. All these could be done without even standing up from the sofa. Besides, as a method of entertainment, television presents more opportunities to gather families and friends together. In front of a television with favorite programs on, people could communicate with each other enjoyably. It's a quite pleasant experience for most people. Moreover, some common programs provide a platform to present individual's ideas by importing analysis of common knowledge or controversial issues. From that, people get acquainted with the society they are living in. Consequently, it must've been a hard time to be without televisions.

However, it could more irritating to be without books sometimes, especially within the context of instruction. Books have always influenced our society, ever and since. Gorky once said: Books are the stepping stones to human progress. They recorded wisdoms of our ancestors and contemporaries, whether it is in social science like Wealth of Nation that tremendously changed economical system, or in natural science like Evolution of Ethics that fundamentally interprets “the fittest survives”. These books are applied everywhere in society and largely facilitate the development of society. Compared with televisions, though accessible to certain common knowledge, professional knowledge in every field related to the construction of society could be obtainable exclusively in books. More significantly, people are always passively accepting whatever televisions present them, seldom involving continuous thinking. While doing reading, readers vigorously engage themselves between the lines and make attempts to communicate with the authors and even think empathically. People learn knowledge from books, form individual ideas from book. The books which they read are those which influence them and the society most. For example, people around the world can always feel the influence of  Earnest Hemingway's "Man can only be destroyed, but not defeated." The unyielding spirit guides them to achieve more in societies. And still more, books provide inspiration needed for people to advance in their society. Things like television itself also have their prototypes in Jules Verne's novel years before invention and were eventually brought to fruition. Thus, from reading, people are acquiring knowledge more intentionally, and society is making progress more readily.

To sum up, it's unfair to neglect the contributions made by televisions on society, but when it comes to knowledge, they shall never outweigh the important roles of books play in transferring it.

summeralwaysUID: 2704210

Many parents are complaining that the time that children spend on watching television has unfortunately taken precedence over that on reading books. Also people disagree on the effects on society between books and televisions（这句话总觉得读起来不对，改成：on the effects that books and televisions do for society）. For my part, I kind of agree (可以换个词用比如support)that printed books exert greater effects on society in some certain aspects, but television still hold benefits towards our society.
5 V1 a5 N; ~  u4 [) Y3 u; ]- b& u4 a4 x
To start with, it's indeed that televisions are changing our society. As old saying which goes, it's better to see rather than hear about one for many times. It fits perfectly in televisions. By Using motioning images, televisions present us the real world. When only words（无主语。。建议改为when referring to the words）, sometimes pictures,（去逗号） in books alone could not possibly satisfy people's request for knowing the world, people can approach to various information and enjoy beautiful sceneries around the world through television. On one channel, it might be Barrack Obama making a speech to the America这里应该美国人吧, on the other , National Geography probably shows people around the Yellow Stone Park. All these could be done without even standing up from the sofa.这句话和前面的两句接不上啊，前两句都是说电视节目的，这句怎么一开始就can be done 了。。是能被观赏吧？. Besides, as a method of entertainment, television presents more opportunities to gather families and friends together. In front of a television with favorite programs on, people could communicate with each other enjoyably. It's a quite pleasant experience for most people. Moreover, some common programs provide a platform to present individual's ideas by importing analysis of common knowledge or controversial issues. From that, people get acquainted with the society they are living in. Consequently, 个人认为这个词用在这里不大准确，这里要强调电视的重要性吧？用Thus we can see it clearly that 如何？it must've been a hard time to be without televisions.# p$ ?6 v: _# @6 P

3 ]& f& H& k! B9 BHowever, it could more去掉，好像没有什么比较。 ，be
irritating to be 去掉without books sometimes, especially within the context of instruction没懂是什么意思？. Books have always influenced our society, ever and since.个人认为这个影响是从过去到现在持续进行的，have been influencing our society. Gorky once said: Books are the stepping stones to human progress. They recorded wisdoms of our ancestors and contemporaries, whether it is in social science like Wealth of Nation that tremendously changed economical system, or in natural science like Evolution of Ethics that fundamentally interprets “the fittest survives”. These books are applied everywhere in society and largely facilitate the development of society. Compared with televisions, though accessible 这个词是adj, it is accessible to certain common knowledge, professional knowledge in every field related to the construction of society could be obtainable 改成obtained exclusively in books. More significantly, people are always passively accepting whatever televisions present them, seldom involving continuous thinking. While doing reading, readers vigorously engage themselves between the lines and make attempts to communicate with the authors and even think empathically. People learn knowledge from books, form individual ideas from book. 换个句式吧，in which individual ideas formed. The books which they read are those which去掉 influence 改has influenced them and the society most. For example, people around the world can always feel the influence of  Earnest Hemingway's "Man can only be destroyed, but not defeated." The unyielding spirit guides them to achieve more in societies. And still more, books provide inspiration needed for people to advance in their society. Things like television itself also have their prototypes in Jules Verne's novel years before invention and were eventually brought to fruition. Thus, from reading, people are acquiring 不太合适用正在进行时。。knowledge more intentionally, and society is making progress more readily社会不能自己发展，建议用被动语态./ g. O" T5 e) Z, F. i% [  k0 w  ?

  `% e5 r3 t$ l! eTo sum up, it's unfair to neglect the contributions made by televisions on society, but when it comes to knowledge, they shall never outweigh the important roles of books play in transferring it.没读懂这句话什么意思，其实最后一段总结一下说明两个都Ok 就好了，读这句话好费解。


不好意思啊，因为网络不方便，一直托到今天才改，实在对不住。。

speedzshawUID: 2556376

43# summeralways

When only words（无主语。。建议改为when referring to the words）, sometimes pictures,（去逗号） in books alone could not possibly satisfy people's request for knowing the world, people can approach to various information and enjoy beautiful sceneries around the world through television. On one channel, it might be Barrack Obama making a speech to the America这里应该美国人吧,

words就是这个时间状语从句的主语
America可以代指美国人 翻译过或者看过American Idol或者So you think you can dance的都知道

All these could be done without even standing up from the sofa.这句话和前面的两句接不上啊，前两句都是说电视节目的，这句怎么一开始就can be done 了。。是能被观赏吧？.

这里好像我跳得有点多了 可能换成without even living the house更好 谢谢指出

Consequently, 个人认为这个词用在这里不大准确，这里要强调电视的重要性吧？用Thus we can see it clearly that 如何？it must've been a hard time to be without televisions.

为什么consequently不准确？  感觉一直以来都是用这个总结分论点的

However, it could more去掉，好像没有什么比较。 ，be irritating to be 去掉without books sometimes,

没比较 嗯 同意 这点疏忽了 看来有没表达好

Books have always influenced our society, ever and since.个人认为这个影响是从过去到现在持续进行的，have been influencing our society.

ever and since就是这个意思 过去是这样 现在也是这样  看纪录片时候学到的词 不过不是太清楚能不能用到写作中 得核实一下

though accessible 这个词是adj, it is accessible to certain common knowledge,

没必要完整的it is accessible    这属于基本的省略

Thus, from reading, people are acquiring 不太合适用正在进行时。。knowledge more intentionally, and society is making progress more readily社会不能自己发展，建议用被动语态./

当时想弄个对称的句式的 不过好像有点弄巧成拙了 得注意！

eTo sum up, it's unfair to neglect the contributions made by televisions on society, but when it comes to knowledge, they shall never outweigh the important roles of books play in transferring it.没读懂这句话什么意思，其实最后一段总结一下说明两个都Ok 就好了，读这句话好费解。/ |0

老实说 当时想个结尾想了好久 这个确实也没从读者的角度出发 改成both television and printed books contribute to the development of society. Yet books are more effective in transferring knowledge.

谢谢修改

qy10166341UID: 2653519

3.19 修改 by 平常心
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Printed books have greater effects on society than television has.

Many parents are complaining that
their children spend much time on watching television,which has unfortunately taken precedence over reading books. Also people disagree on the effects on society between books and televisions(我没太明白这句话想表达什么意思？). For my part, I kindly
agree that printed books exert greater effects on society in some certain aspects, but television still holds benefits towards our society.3 m, {1 F  p' W' K2 f. ^8 {5 [
8 M6 F  i; V- z* f6 G: z8 o
To start with, it's-（一个副词能不能这么用呢?我也不确定） that televisions are changing our society. As old saying which goes, it's better to see rather than hear about one for many times. It fits perfectly in televisions. Using motioning images, televisions present us the real world. When only words, sometimes pictures, in books alone could not possibly satisfy people's request for knowing the world,（这个我也不知道怎么修改，就感觉语法和句子结构有问题。。。） people can approach to various information and enjoy beautiful sceneries around the world through television. On one channel, it might be Barrack Obama making a speech to the America, on the other hand, National Geography probably shows people around the Yellow Stone Park. All these could be done without even standing up from the sofa. Besides, as a method of entertainment, television presents more opportunities to gather families and friends together. In front of a television with favorite programs on, people could communicate with each other enjoyably. It's a quite pleasant experience for most people. Moreover, some common programs provide a platform to present individual's ideas by importing analysis of common knowledge or controversial issues. From that, people get acquainted with the society they are living in.Otherwise, it musthave been a hard time to be without televisions.- k2 Y2 [/ A1 ]  P8 L$ [( B
0 u% O" G6 v: y* [% F
However, it could more irritating to be without books sometimes（这句也让我很迷惑）, especially within the context of instruction. Books have always influenced our society, ever and since. Gorky once said: Books are the stepping stones to human progress. They recorded wisdoms of our ancestors and contemporaries, whether it is in social science like Wealth of Nation that tremendously changed economical system, or in natural science like Evolution of Ethics that fundamentally interprets “the fittest survives”. These books are applied everywhere in society and largely facilitate the development of society. Compared with televisions, though accessible to certain common knowledge, professional knowledge in every field related to the construction of society could be obtainable exclusively in books. More significantly, people are always passively accepting whatever televisions present them, seldom involving continuous thinking. While doing reading, readers vigorously engage themselves between the lines and make attempts to communicate with the authors and even think empathically. People learn knowledge from books, form individual ideas from book. The books which they read are those which influence them and the society most. For example, people around the world can always feel the influence of  Earnest Hemingway's "Man can only be destroyed, but not defeated." The unyielding spirit guides them to achieve more in societies. And still more, books provide inspiration needed for people to advance in their society. Things like television itself also have their prototypes in Jules Verne's novel years before invention and were eventually brought to fruition. Thus, from reading, people are acquiring knowledge more intentionally, and society is making progress more readily.这段写的不错，跟第一段判若两人
To sum up, it's unfair to neglect the contributions made by televisions on society, but when it comes to knowledge, they shall never outweigh the important roles of books play in transferring it.结尾仓促了，建议加强。

总的来说，我有点迷惑，看起来特别费力，继续努力

修改晚了，抱歉，http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-1072744-1-1.html 这个是我3.19的作文 交作业太晚了 还希望你能修改指教