2.21 独立写作 by 阿汤

tqidtestUID: 2766196

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students who keep their rooms neat and organized tend to be more successful than students who do not.
When asked whether students who is more self desciplined in their life styles, like keeping their rooms neat and organized will be more successful in future, different people hold different opinions. Some successful  people might say they were messy naughty boys or girls when they are youngsters. However, some sociological experts might argue that according to their research keeping the room neat and organized contributes directly to student's potential success in the future. As far as I concerned, I would treat this issue .

First of all, an organized and neat environment can be  helpful to one's study and work, saving much time and improve the efficiency. Most people might encounter the similar embarrassing experience that it drives our mad to search for a pencil or a clean paper to write down some emergent notes, when the desk is totally in a terrible mess. Also, a dirty and disordered  environment can lead to a negative mood that reduces the study efficiency for students. In contrast, a pleasant and quiet environment such as a neat desktop, clean air etc. can cheer us up, and that would be very beneficial to improve the study effciency.

In addition, students can build up independent personality from daily room cleaning and arranging, which is an important factor of forming independent thinking capability, as well as helpful for creativity and imagination. Youngsters who often leave their bedroom in a mess can easily get  procrastinating disorder, according to the research by pschologists. What is more, the experts claim that a child who keeps his or her room clean and neat shows more care about self-esteem and responsiblity. Whether or no, parents, as well as teachers, pay much attention on the children's independent development. We all want the children learn to take care of themselves, and teach them washing clothes and cleaning room.

All in all, according to the above analysis, we can safely draw a conclusion that students who keep the room neat and organized can be helpful to their study and personality that more or less enhances the possibilities of success in their future.
写的时间太久额

tqidtestUID: 2766196

Children should only play sports for fun, not in competition or contests.
体育竞赛会教育孩子们竞争意识。同样会为他们今后进入社会以后做好准备。
When asked whether there should be sport competition or contest holding in the primary school, different people hold different opinions. Most people might not think it could be a mistake or risk matter, because people all have the experience participating a small scale sport meeting in primary school and it is much fun. However, there are some opposite voices asserting that children participating in competition or contests could be harmful and dangerous. In my opinion,however, sport competition and contest is not only harmless for children, but also beneficial.

On one hand, as we all know, sport can strengthen one's physical body. Besides we will learn the way of protection from injury, and also could know some survival skills, such as climbing, swimming, or surfing skills.  Competition is a simple but effecient way of increasing children's interests in sports. Winning the first prize becomes the motivation for hard training and exercising.

On the other hand, sport competition is also a good way of education. There would be winners and losers in a race. Children should be taught never giving up when they are left behind. Persistence and determination is the influencial quality for winning in a contest. In other cases, children would also know the importance of cooperation from some team contests, such as a relay race, a football game and so on. When winning the first place, not only the children feel the happiness but also parents can share the joy of winning. When children lose, they can also learn to face the failure, never complain about the fate, and always keep optimistic.Because the sport competition is an ideal field of education, it promotes children's socialization smoothly, which means children know how to handle harsh competition in future, of course not only in the sport competition.

All in all, there are lots of benefits children could learn from the sporting competition, according to the analysis stated above.

爱烤鱼的小伙UID: 2580692

不好意思哦，今天写了一天的论文已经晕头转向了，12号的作文明天早上一定改了给你发过来。实在不好意思！O(∩_∩)O~

爱烤鱼的小伙UID: 2580692

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students who keep their rooms neat and organized tend to be more successful than students who do not.
When asked whether students who is more self desciplined（disciplined） in their life styles, like keeping their rooms neat and organized will be more successful in future, different people hold different opinions. Some successful  people might say they were messy naughty boys or girls when they are youngsters. However, some sociological experts might argue that according to their research keeping the room neat and organized contributes directly to student's potential success in the future. As far as I concerned, I would treat this issue .

First of all, an organized and neat environment can be  helpful to one's study and work, saving much time and improve the efficiency. Most people might encounter the similar embarrassing experience that it drives our mad to search for a pencil or a clean paper to write down some emergent notes, when the desk is totally in a terrible mess. Also, a dirty and disordered  environment can lead to a negative mood that reduces the study efficiency for students. In contrast, a pleasant and quiet environment such as a neat desktop, clean air etc. can cheer us up, and that would be very beneficial to improve the study effciency.（efficiency）

In addition, students can build up independent personality from daily room cleaning and arranging, which is an important factor of forming independent thinking capability, as well as helpful for creativity and imagination. Youngsters who often leave their bedroom in a mess can easily get  procrastinating disorder, according to the research by pschologists（psychologists）. What is more, the experts claim that a child who keeps his or her room clean and neat shows more care about self-esteem and responsiblity.（responsibility） Whether or no（not）, parents, as well as teachers, pay much attention on the children's independent development. We all want the children（这里掉了一个to） learn to take care of themselves, and teach them washing clothes and cleaning room.

All in all, according to the above analysis, we can safely draw a conclusion that students who keep the room neat and organized can be helpful to their study and personality that more or less enhances the possibilities of success in their future.
楼主这篇文章写得很不错，是很标准意义上的托福作文，尤其是引用了大量的“专家研究”，这一点我很欣赏。另外，楼主的语言功底也很好，用词造句都很地道，没有什么明显的语法错误。总的来说是一篇很好的作文，向楼主学习O(∩_∩)O~
不过唯一的问题就是你的拼写错误有点过多，建议你写完以后留点时间把拼写检查一下。

dphenixyUID: 2657199

When asked whether there should be sport competition or contest holding in the primary school, different people hold different opinions. Most people might not think it could be a mistake or risk matter, because people all have the experience participating （in）a small scale sport meeting in primary school and it is much fun. However, there are some opposite voices asserting that children participating in competition or contests could be harmful and dangerous. In my opinion, however, sport competition and contest is not only harmless for children, but also beneficial. （第一句感觉这样写比较危险，毕竟题目问是不是应该参加而不是应不应该举办）
On one hand, as we all know, sport can strengthen one's physical body. Besides we will learn the way of protection from injury, and also could know some survival skills, such as climbing, swimming, or surfing skills.  Competition is a simple but efficient（efficient）
way of increasing children's interests in sports. Winning the first prize becomes the motivation for hard training and exercising. （句子虽然没什么问题，但感觉比较凌乱，逻辑性不强，应该在说了体育强壮身体后，后面就围绕这一点阐述，举例之类的，而不是想到什么说什么）

On the other hand, sport competition is also a good way of education. There would be winners and losers in a race. Children should be taught never giving up when they are left behind. Persistence and determination is the influencial（influential） quality for winning in a contest. In other cases, children would also know the importance of cooperation from some team contests, such as a relay race, a football game and so on. When winning the first place, not only the children feel the happiness but also parents can share the joy of winning. When children lose, they can also learn to face the failure, never complain about the fate, and always keep optimistic. （排比用的不错，赞）Because the sport competition is an ideal field of education, it promotes children's socialization smoothly, which means children know how to handle harsh competition in future, of course not only in the sport competition. （问题还是和上一段一样结构有些乱）

All in all, there are lots of benefits children could learn （好处不是学到的，enjoy）from the sporting competition, according to the analysis stated above.（应该加个：所以孩子们应该多参加体育锻炼，这样更完整点）
句式和词汇不错，大结构也没问题，但每段内部的结构就比较乱了，建议楼主写之前列一个稍微详细点的提纲，这样可以防止想到什么就写什么
说的不对的地方还请见谅，加油~

tqidtestUID: 2766196

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most people prefer having other people make decisions for them rather than making decisions by themselves。

We all sometimes stuck in the middle of various hard choices in life, while making efforts on the best decision, optimum benefit. Theorically speaking, no one else knows the choices better than ourselves, however, . I have to admit that most people, including me as well, prefer other people making decisions for them. It sounds weird, but true.

To begin with, a common example as shopping could demonstrate this statement reasonably well. All people have the experience of shopping in a super market, or some places like that, and certain amount of us enjoy it a lot. In the super market, we are provided a lot of choices. The same commodity have different brands, colors, qualities, prices. Many of us like to choose by referring advertisement or recommendation. I bought a new car because my neighbors had bought a similar one, or my favorate movie star have the same brand. Many manufacturers catch the cosuming pschologic effect, and lead our choices by many methods, such as attractive package, advertisement, and a big discount etc. In that case, the buyers' choice is always conducted by sellers or others around. We are doing this decision unconciously and to some extent enjoy it. The behavior is like a feeling of community and identity.

Another reason why we need others' help to make decisions is that we are not enough confident about ourselves, and also there are some stereotypes restrict our determination and judgement. For example, most of situations we are trying to follow with the majority's decision. Our experience tell us that keeping pace with the majority is safe, easy and comfortable. No worry about the consequences of decision, because others in the group and the leader can share the result, as well as the responsibility. As time flows, people with that thought can not be capable of independent judgement.

All in all, from what we have discussed, we may safely come to a conclusion that most people prefer other people making decisions for them due in part to the stereotypes and our psychological needs.

tqidtestUID: 2766196

谢谢 22# by19900610hnyt

tqidtestUID: 2766196

谢谢 21# dphenixy

dphenixyUID: 2657199

We all sometimes stuck in the middle of various hard choices in life, while making efforts on the best decision, optimum benefit.（没分析出结构，惭愧了~） Theorically speaking, no one else knows the choices better than ourselves, however,(不能当连词用，要另起一句) I have to admit that most people, including me as well, prefer other people making decisions for them. It sounds weird, but true.& l+ d  _) ]6 N9 z2 N, O- {, W
. s7 ~$ ?  Z. U4 b& o+ T
To begin with, a common example as shopping could demonstrate this statement reasonably well. All people have the experience of shopping in a super market, or some places like that, and certain amount of us enjoy it a lot. In the super market, we are provided a lot of choices. The same commodity have（主谓不一致） different brands, colors, qualities, prices. Many of us like to choose by referring advertisement or recommendation. I bought a new car because my neighbors had bought a similar one, or my favorate movie star have the same brand.（这里也用we比较顺畅，另外注意时态一致，最后，这句话貌似和上下两句都没什么联系） Many manufacturers catch the cosuming pschologic（拼写） effect, and lead our choices by many methods, such as attractive package, advertisement, and a big discount etc. In that case, the buyers' choice is always conducted by sellers or others around. We are doing this decision unconciously（拼写错误） and to some extent enjoy it. The behavior is like a feeling of community and identity. 6 y$ C8 j4 O; y+ l
% \9 @! q! {& B0 ]6 F( h
Another reason why we need others' help to make decisions is that we are not enough confident about ourselves, and also there are some stereotypes restrict our determination and judgement（拼写）. For example, most of situations we are trying to follow with the majority's decision（句子不完整，前面缺介词）. Our experience tell us that keeping pace with the majority is safe, easy and comfortable.（这句应该是上一句的原因，可以考虑连成一句话） No（？） worry about the consequences of decision, because others in the group and the leader can share the result, as well as the responsibility. As time flows, people with that thought can not be capable of independent judgement. # u+ B6 ]$ l; O6 d% o& l) s
! I' X- b4 v* b  O+ J5 `: U
All in all, from what we（i） have discussed, we（i） may safely come to a conclusion that most people prefer other people making decisions for them due in part to the stereotypes and our psychological needs.
楼主的词汇句式都没什么问题，结构这次组织的也不错，需要注意的是在上面提到的一些细节问题，另外我觉得一些大词用的时候要谨慎，一则容易拼错，有的也不一定比一些小词更地道。

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

We all sometimes stuck in the middle of various hard choices in life, while making efforts on the best decision, optimum benefit. 首句不用重句可能会更好Theorically speaking, no one else knows the choices better than ourselves, however, . I have to admit that most people, including me as well, prefer other people making decisions for them. It sounds weird, but true.切入很新颖啊，句子不boring而且表达很明确

To begin with, a common example as shopping could demonstrate this statement reasonably well. 上来就举例子不知道会不会唐突，建议可以Introduce下All people have the experience of shopping in a super market, or some places like that, and certain amount of us enjoy it a lot. In the super market, we are provided a lot of choices. The same commodity/喜欢goods have different brands, colors, qualities, prices. Many of us like to choose by referring advertisement or recommendation. I bought a new car because my neighbors had bought a similar one, or my favorate movie star have单三 the same brand. Many manufacturers catch the cosuming pschologic effect, and lead our choices by many methods, such as attractive package, advertisement, and a big discount etc. In that case, the buyers' choice is always conducted by sellers or others around. We are doing this decision unconciously and to some extent enjoy it. The behavior is like a feeling of community and identity一致性么.我想这段是说明了人们选择时候受到的影响，跟别人给选择有偏差

Another reason why we need others' help to make decisions is that we are not enough confident about ourselves,(you think so??) and also there are some stereotypes restrict our determination and judgement. For example, most of situations we are trying to follow with the majority's decision. Our experience tell us that keeping pace with the majority is safe, easy and comfortable. No worry about the consequences of decision缺谓语么直接跟从句了, because others in the group and the leader can share-->share是好的分享积极词汇我想这里用bear是不好点... the result喜欢consequence, as well as the responsibility. As time flows, people with that thought can not be capable of independent judgement。额你选择的这个观点不好写

All in all, from what we have discussed, we may safely come to a conclusion that most people prefer other people making decisions for them due in part to the stereotypes and our psychological needs 结尾貌似没写完的样子，句子不错不单一。有小的语法不过不严重，都是单三谓语之类的。观点选择的很特别不太好写。改晚了不好意思

tqidtestUID: 2766196

3.26 For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?

When asked about whether we should invest more money on the elementary schools or advanced universities, different people hold different views. Some of them think the younger generation as the future of a country is a potential long-term benefit. Others insist that the high level of technologies and novel inventions are the basis of economics and national defenses, so that spending more money on the universities to promote the technological development seems more worthy. As far as I concerned, we should treat this issue with a balance that both the elementary education and the advanced are of the same importance.

To begin with, children are the prospective students of the universities and institutes. Thus high qualified elementary education is the guarantee of the high qualified student resources for those universities. A school with advanced facilities and qualified teachers can not only provide children more comfortable studying environment but also stimulate their inspiration and interests on learning, widen their imagination and improve their potential capabilities, which are all influential requirements of becoming excellent university students in their future. As we can see, investment on the elementary education has a long-term benefit. Therefore, focusing our budgets on young generations is safe with no investment risks, as well as with invisible steady beneficial.

In reality, however, we usually see the government prefers to focus its most part of budget on the advanced universities and institutes, because the research of high technologies and science needs lots of funds or financial aid, most of which usually comes from the government budget. Although keeping the pace with the development of technologies needs innumerable budget cost, the reciprocation of investment is also enormous. This point can be easily proven by taking the present United States as an example. The economic leading position in the world is most partly due to its numerous first class universities and institutes, such as MIT, Harvard, Stanford, etc. These universities provide abundant financial aids or scholarship attract many excellent scholars and students every year, which develops the country. All in all, as we can see, investment on the higher education can also be very important for the development of a country.

To sum up, according to the above analysis on two sides, which kinds of education, the elementary or the higher education, should be financially focused on is a complicated issue that we should comprehensively consider and balance on different situations, rather than simply make a rude decision, which is quite irresponsible.

nexthopUID: 2744929

When asked about whether we should invest more money on the elementary schools or advanced universities, different people hold different views. Some of them think the younger generation as the future of a country is a potential long-term benefit. Others insist that the high level of technologies and novel inventions are the basis of economics and national defenses, so that spending more money on the universities to promote the technological development seems more worthy. As far as I concerned, we should treat this issue with a balance that both the elementary education and the advanced are of the same importance.

To begin with, children are the prospective students of the universities and institutes. Thus high qualified elementary education is the guarantee of the high qualified student resources for those universities. A school with advanced facilities and qualified teachers can not only provide children more comfortable studying environment but also stimulate their inspiration and interests on learning, widen their imagination and improve their potential capabilities, which are all influential requirements of becoming excellent university students in their future. As we can see, investment on the elementary education has a long-term benefit. Therefore, focusing our budgets on young generations is safe with no investment risks, as well as with invisible steady beneficial.

In reality, however, we usually see the government prefers to focus its most part of budget on the advanced universities and institutes, because the research of high technologies and science needs lots of funds or financial aid, most of which usually comes from the government budget. Although keeping the pace with the development of technologies needs innumerable budget cost, the reciprocation of investment is also enormous. This point can be easily proven by taking the present United States as an example. The economic leading position in the world is most partly due to its numerous first class universities and institutes, such as MIT, Harvard, Stanford, etc. These universities provide abundant financial aids or scholarship attract many excellent scholars and students every year, which develops the country. All in all, as we can see, investment on the higher education can also be very important for the development of a country.

To sum up, according to the above analysis on two sides, which kinds of education, the elementary or the higher education, should be financially focused on is a complicated issue that we should comprehensively consider and balance on different situations, rather than simply make a rude decision, which is quite irresponsible.

这是一个agree or disagree的题目，不知道楼主你这样写可不可以。
除此之外好像没什么问题，论证很到位，呵呵，我就是论证太差了，认真学习。
另外，题目也说到了背景问题，就是develop a country，这个好像也完全没有提到

lawrencelanUID: 2173940

3.26 For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?

When asked about whether we should invest more ...
tqidtest 发表于 2010-3-27 11:52

3.26 For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?

When asked about whether we should invest more money on the elementary schools or advanced universities, different people hold different views. Some of them think the younger generation as the future of a country is a potential long-term benefit. (I am not sure about this setence..."generation" is "benefit"??) Others insist that the high level of technologies and novel inventions are the basis of economics and national defenses, so that spending more money on the universities to promote the technological development seems more worthy. As far as I concerned, we should treat this issue with a balance that both the elementary education and the advanced are of the same importance.

To begin with, children are the prospective students of the universities and institutes. Thus high qualified elementary education is the guarantee of the high qualified student resources for those universities. A school with advanced facilities and qualified teachers can not only provide children more comfortable studying environment but also stimulate their inspiration and interests on learning, widen their imagination and improve their potential capabilities, which are all influential requirements of becoming excellent university students in their future. As we can see, investment on the elementary education has a long-term benefit. Therefore, focusing our budgets on young generations is safe with no investment risks, as well as with invisible steady beneficial(benefits).

In reality, however, we usually see the government prefers to focus its most part of budget on the advanced universities and institutes, because the research of high technologies and science needs lots of funds or financial aid, most of which usually comes from the government budget. Although keeping the pace with the development of technologies needs innumerable budget cost, the reciprocation of investment is also enormous. This point can be easily proven by taking the present United States as an example. The economic leading position in the world is most partly due to its numerous first class universities and institutes, such as MIT, Harvard, Stanford, etc. These universities provide abundant financial aids or scholarship attract many excellent scholars and students every year, which develops the country. All in all, as we can see, investment on the higher education can also be very important for the development of a country.

To sum up, according to the above analysis on two sides, which kinds of education, the elementary or the higher education, should be financially focused on is a complicated issue that we should comprehensively consider and balance on different situations, rather than simply make a rude decision, which is quite irresponsible.

总结：总体不错。论证清晰有力。可以再加强一下词汇和句型