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淡笑KathyUID: 2708253

俺的作文~望牛人LZ赐教~ 本人感激不尽 辛苦啦


Agree or disagree?
People should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.

    Choosing the place where we live is a hot topic which may haunt us all our life. Some people may prefer moving to another place, exploring new life while others would rather living in the city or country all lifelong . As for me, a girl who like to challenge the fresh and unusual, I favor moving into another area.
    There’s no denying that living in the same area, walking on the same street when back home for fifty year is monotonous. It is moving to new places that add colors to our daily life. If one individual decides to change a new environment for family, he/she would definitely walks around, searching for new place. Furthermore, purchasing new furniture and decorating new house with family must be what they would do in priority. Augeuste Rodin, the French sculptor, has a saying that it's not the lack of beauty in life, but the lack of the eyes to find the beauty. It is from interesting things of this kind that one will discover the beauty of life with his/her eyes.
       Everything will be brand new after moving to another place, Both the acquaintance he/she meets and the environment he/she is amid in offers individual a chance to widen eyesight. The new friend one make may sparkle him/her a new idea on the domain which he/she embarks on recently. And the environment that moved into might change the unhealthy lifestyle he/she had carried on for decades. As Forrest Gump’s mum said “Life was like a box of chocolates, and you never know what you’re gonna get.” So who knows what new life will bring to you. Maybe there’s a new continent waiting for you to explore.
          When mentioning about cost, some people may argue that moving to another place is a waste of money. It might be tempting to agree with the idea of staying in one place forever on the basic of saving money. However, how could a house which you had lived in for fifty years not need not to redecorate? On the other saying, it might cost you as much as redecorating to move to another place.
      Life is full of challenge and fun. Moving to another place rather than staying provides individual a chance to explore the beautiful scene of life.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

Choosing the place where we to live (Or 'choosing where to live', or 'choosing where we want to live', or along that direction. The point is that if you say 'where we live', then you're already living there, and there's no 'choosing' needed.) is a hot topic which may haunt (This usually describes something that's disquieting or harmful, evoking fear and all. If you really must use a negative tone, use the lighter 'disturb' or 'trouble'.) us all our life. Some people may prefer moving to another place, and exploring new life, while others would rather live in the city or country all lifelong. As for me, a girl who likes to challenge the fresh and unusual, I favor moving into another area.

There’s no denying that living in the same area, walking on the same street when going back home for fifty years is monotonous. It is moving to new places that add colors to our daily life. (Hold that thought for a second and consider this: you have many other options if you say being in the same place is 'monotonous'. You may travel. You may go abroad to study. Why MUST it be moving to a new place? Also, consider this: the question says 'people live in the city or the country all life...moving to another place'. This 'moving to another place' means to move from the city to the country, or vice versa, because if you move within the city or the country, you'll still be living 'in the city or the country all life'. Thus, this question is actually about a very specific movement: between the city and the country. Not just a simple move to a 'new place', which disregards the location requirement in the question.) If one individual decides to change to a new environment for the family (Why must it be 'for the family'?), he/she would definitely walks around, searching for new places. Furthermore, purchasing new furniture and decorating new house with the family must be what they would do in priority. Augeuste Rodin, the French sculptor, has a saying that it's not the lack of beauty in life, but the lack of the eyes to find the beauty. (The more accepted version is 'Our eyes are blind to beauty, because we are unable to discover it.', but it doesn't really matter because he would have said the original in French, and how that should be translated into English isn't really always agreed.) It is from interesting things of this kind that one will discover the beauty of life with his/her eyes.

Everything will be brand new after moving to another place, Both the acquaintances he/she meets and the environment he/she is amid in offers an individual a chance to widen eyesight (You can say 'broaden his horizons', or a simple 'open his eyes', but not the Chinese translated 'widen eyesight', because you cannot 'widen' 'eyesight'.) The new friends one makes may sparkle him/her with a new idea on the domain which he/she embarks on recently. And the environment that one moved into might change the unhealthy lifestyle he/she had carried on for decades. As Forrest Gump’s mum said, “Life was like a box of chocolates, and you never know what you’re gonna get.” So who knows what new life will (What?) bring to you. Maybe there’s a new continent waiting for you to explore.

When mentioning about cost, some people may argue that moving to another place is a waste of money. It might be tempting to agree with the idea of staying in one place forever on the basis of saving money. However, how could a house which you had lived in for fifty years have not need not to for redecoration? On the other saying ('On other words' is a fixed expression.), it might cost you as much as redecorating to move to another place.

Life is full of challenge and fun. Moving to another place rather than staying provides the individual a chance to explore the beautiful scene of life.

总结：

除了语法和表达的问题之外，最大的问题是我个人认为审题不清。问题是people should live...all life instead of moving to another place，它为什么要说live in the city or the country，说the same place不好吗？所以我认为题目的潜台词是住city的应该搬去一下country，住country的应该搬去一下city, so that they don't live in the city or the country all life，而不是简单地搬到a new place。并且多远才算a new place？我从邻居的东边搬到西边算不算a new place？所以说你写出来的东西就是整体感觉非常笼统，并没有看出city和country在文章中有什么特别的意义，那对这个特别指明了city和country的题目来说就不是很有说服力。但是话说回来，这个问题本身的用词我觉得不像是真题，因为如果要做简单的搬家理解，也不算是完全错误，所以我觉得就不好说你写偏了还是怎样，只是提醒你一下，如果题目特别给出细节，那么论述的时候最好多往细节上靠，这样。