ARGUMENT174 by Misir (第十次作业。。。努力限时中)

misirUID: 2684938

TOPIC: ARGUMENT174 - The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.

"We recommend that Grove College preserve its century-old tradition of all-female education rather than admit men into its programs. It is true that a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. But eighty percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumni who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Keeping the college all-female, therefore, will improve morale among students and convince alumni to keep supporting the college financially."
WORDS: 351 |467
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2010/2/26 15:23:51

The conclusion that Grove College should remain all-female education rather than admit men into its programs seems reasonable at first glance, however, it cannot stand up to scrutiny, as I will discuss below.

To begin with, the survey conducted by the student government is not a convincing one. First, the students responding to the survey may not be representative enough to reflect most of the students' attitude. Do the students who were chosen to do the survey randomly? What's more, the 80 percent of the students responding to the survey is not equal to the majority students in the college. Secondly, the alumni's answer can not well support the author's conclusion, too. The author fails to provide the exact number of the alumni, so it is possible that only 10 alumni answered the survey and more than 5 of them opposed coeducation, while considering the large number of other alumni (e.g. 100) who didn't do the survey. Thus, the two surveys are not persuasive enough to support the author's conclusion.

In addition, the author ignores other factors which are equally important to make the decision. As the argument says, the author draws the conclusion only based on the surveys took by the student government. What about the faculty's position? Their suggestions should take a vital role in the decision, for they are the educators who teach the students face-to-face and know what the students want and what can benefit to the students. What's more, the author has not mentioned the society's point of view, which is the critical element reflecting the parents' thoughts and what the education institution's ideas. Because education is concerned with our society and decides the future of our life, the author cannot ignore the external voice of this issue. Therefore, other factors should be taken into account to make the decision persuasive.

Finally, even assuming that Grove College should maintain the century-old all -female program, there is no evidence that it will improve morale among students and convince alumni to keep supporting the college. The students' morale contains many an aspect, like the physical and the mental health conditions, as well as the college environment and the academic atmosphere. While to the college finance, the author just makes a poor predict, for the one who supports the college financially is not the same with the one who opposes coeducation. And how about the proportion of the financial support of the opposed one and the favored one? If the college is mostly supported by the favored one, then, the author makes a wrong decision totally.

In sum, to make the conclusion more logically acceptable, the author should provide more detailed information about the surveys, next pay more attention to the faculty’s and the society’s viewpoint, and collect other relative data to make the predict.

桔子susanUID: 2754084

The conclusion that Grove College should remain all-female education rather than admit men into its programs seems reasonable at first glance, however, it cannot stand up to scrutiny, as I will discuss below.
To begin with, the survey conducted by the student government is not a convincing one. First, the students responding to the survey may not be representative enough to reflect most of the students' attitude. Do the students who were chosen to do the survey randomly? What's more, the 80 percent of the students responding to the survey is not equal to the majority students in the college.（为什么80％不能代表大部分的学生，这里要说清楚，我还没想清楚你为什么会这样说（是调查人数的问题？））
Secondly, the alumni's answer can not well support the author's conclusion, too. The author fails to provide the exact number of the alumni, so it is possible that only 10 alumni answered the survey and more than 5 of them opposed coeducation, while considering the large number of other alumni (e.g. 100) who didn't do the survey. Thus, the two surveys are not persuasive enough to support the author's conclusion.
调查不可信

In addition, the author ignores other factors which are equally important to make the decision. As the argument says, the author draws the conclusion only based on the surveys took by the student government. What about the faculty's position? Their suggestions should take a vital role in the decision, for they are the educators who teach the students face-to-face and know what the students want and what can benefit to the students. What's more, the author has not mentioned the society's point of view, which is the critical element reflecting the parents' thoughts and what the education institution's ideas. Because education is concerned with our society and decides the future of our life, the author cannot ignore the external voice of this issue. Therefore, other factors should be taken into account to make the decision persuasive.
还有很多影响作决定的因素
这一段的批驳点挺新颖的，不过和作者的推论结合在一起更好一些。毕竟作者的逻辑是（通过两个survey，认为保持传统有助于提高学生士气和说服校友继续提供财政支持。）那么，如果这些因素不被考虑，对这两个结论会不会有什么影响了？如果没有影响，作者作出这样的推论也不会有什么错了。等等，我又想到了一点，或者你想表达即使作者的推论成立，也不能保持female的形式，还需考虑其它因素？这样我就明白了，不过这个论证点我还是没太明白，毕竟作者只是建议保持原状嘛，呵呵，我再想想）


Finally, even assuming that Grove College should maintain the century-old all -female program, there is no evidence that it will improve morale among students and convince alumni to keep supporting the college. The students' morale contains many an aspect, like the physical and the mental health conditions, as well as the college environment and the academic atmosphere. （你只列举出了影响士气的其它因素，却没有进一步说明为什么保持传统不一定增长士气。可以进一步说明，如某一个因素的影响，可能会降低学生士气，那么士气就不一定增加了，这样论证更完整一些。）While to the college finance, the author just makes a poor predict, for the one who supports the college financially is not the same with the one who opposes coeducation. And how about the proportion of the financial support of the opposed one and the favored one? If the college is mostly supported by the favored one, then, the author makes a wrong decision totally.（这里，你的反驳理由指financia supporting的校友不一定反对coeducation.那么我认为你这里有一个小前提，就是survey不随机。否则如果是随机的，调查到的有财政支持和没有财政支持的校友的比例应该和总人数中的比例相等，那么如果有一半以上的人反对coeducation,就应该提供财政支持的校友有一半以上反对coeducation.总之我认为这个理由有点牵强，还需斟酌。）
In sum, to make the conclusion more logically acceptable, the author should provide more detailed information about the surveys, next pay more attention to the faculty’s and the society’s viewpoint, and collect other relative data to make the predict.

语言我就不改了，水平有限。继续加油，misir!