舜 的独立作文贴

yuyan890619UID: 2602299

To solve problems present and future is it necessary to understand the past.# z- C; l* n' L5 T8 N4 z. g

No matter how advanced our society is, I think we shall never underestimate the importance of past. As remarkable progress have been made by human nowadays, the problems we encountered everyday are also more complicated and tough than ever before, thus people tend to believe that there is no need to understand the past when solving present or future problems. However, the history has taught us that people who didn't understand the past has paid heavy price.(开头很赞，偷走）

First of all, the past has internally related with（to) (the) present or future. The present problem will somehow has certain relation with the past,  that's why we always have to look back in past for the reason and find the correct solution to solve present problem. A living example of this is global warming, which is the most concerned environment problem confronting the entire human being. The ever-worsening situation caused by the mass destruction in forest and reckless carbon releasing over the last decades. To understand what the cause of problem would lead us to the coordinate solution, although it is impossible for us to change the past to avoid the existing problem, we will be warned and learned and start to take action（actions） and make change （changes）right away. Moreover, we'll gain the past experience and prevent the future problems which would likely happen again(个人全球变暖觉得这个例子虽好，但是有点奇怪，不太搭这一段，不过继续偷例子）.7 B, ]/ X7 U# M1 g3 `
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Some one would argue that the problems we encountered at present are completely different and innovated. Yet, in the process of solving present problems, the experience and knowledge from past practice would be our priority concern to  form a feasible and constructive plan. Just like in the field of education and medical development, the most likely solution for a new problem would always comes from an expert who has a lot of experience, and the suggestions from person who understands the past better would be more constructive and effective, why（中间的例子太长了，注意一下尾重原则，改一改吧） ? Because after years of accumulation and study of the achievements, the comprehensive knowledge embedded could inspire us to create a new solution to a new problem. If there is absolutely no past experience or information we can base on, we'll hardly find a proper solution, or even, make it worse.
From what has been discussed above, it is necessary to understand the past in solving either present or future problems, not just because we can grab the clue inside and follow the basic rules accordingly, but also because the understanding of past will lead us to a more cost-effective solution to the present and prepare in advance for the future problems.
其实我是来偷东西的....
老乡写的真是好啊 赞一个 例子都描述的很好，用词也蛮恰当的，也没什么语病，至少我的水平是看不出来了...o(╯□╰)o
感觉鸡蛋里挑骨头半蛮搞了一点小差错出来。

howard_hhqUID: 2648506

No matter how advanced our society is, I think we shall never underestimate the importance of past. As remarkable progress have been made by human nowadays, the problems we encountered everyday are also more complicated and tough than ever before, thus people tend to believe that there is no need to understand the past when solving present or future problems. However, the history has taught us that people who didn't understand the past has paid heavy price.

7 ^9 i  v* s  J2 A5 [2 LFirst of all, the past has internally related with present or future. The present problem will somehow has certain relation with the past, that’s why we always have to look back in past for the reason and find the correct solution to solve present problem. A living example of this is global warming, which is the most concerned environment problem confronting(confronted) the entire human being. The ever-worsening situation is caused by the mass(massive) destruction in forest and reckless carbon releasing over the last decades. To understand what the cause of problem would lead us to the coordinate(relevant) solution, although it is impossible for us to change the past to avoid the existing problem, we will be warned and learned(learn) and start to take action and make change right away. Moreover, we'll gain the past experience and prevent the future problems which would likely happen again.
(感觉你这个说理不是很充分，但是用词都很好)


# M' @' t* V2 G% ?' J$ C2 }6 ?; H1 qSomeone would argue that the problems we encountered at present are completely different and innovated(new). Yet, in the process of solving present problems, the experience and knowledge from past practice would be our priority concern to form a feasible and constructive plan. Just like in the field of education and medical development, the most likely solution for a new problem would always comes from an expert who has a lot of experience(experiences), and the suggestions from person who understands the past better would be more constructive and effective, why ? Because after years of accumulation and study of the achievements, the comprehensive knowledge embedded could inspire us to create a new solution to a new problem. If there is absolutely no past experience or information we can base on, we'll hardly find a proper solution, or even, make it worse.


2 f: |7 Y1 J) ]From what has been discussed above, it is necessary to understand the past in solving either present or future problems, not just because we can grab the clue inside and follow the basic rules accordingly, but also because the understanding of past will lead us to a more cost-effective solution to the present and prepare in advance for the future problems.

思路清晰，逻辑性好，感觉你论证的比较“朦胧”，其他都还好，感觉用词很好

john_332UID: 2741978

3-24

Do you agree or disagree that improving schools is the most factor in successful development of country.

There are many factors contribute to a successful development of a country, for example, progress in technology, economy, education, and military force. I hold the opinion that education is the most essential
factor to a successful development, therefore, I agree with that improving school should be the priority in
the process of development.

As we all known, how strong a nation is largely depends on the quality of its citizens. So, I firmly convinced that measures should be taken to improving our schools so that more opportunity will be offered for the nationalists. The history has taught us that no matter what stage in a development a country is in, talented and intelligent people is always the most valuable asset to a nations, especially the scientists and political leaders, their achievements and contribution sometimes greatly change the the situation of the whole society. Schools functioned as an institution that educate the citizens of a country, should be paid more attention of its improvement.

The schools is the fundamental facility that education occurs has significant and profound meaning to the future of a country, the students today are the country leader tomorrow. The students are the hope for the country's future. A well educated nation would results in a strong country.That's why improving schools become more important than any other factors, an advance and well-developed school will take the responsibility to cultivate the children in a right way and realize their full potential to create more for their country.  What's more, the knowledgeable experts from every field will in return generate strong impetus to the development in economy, art, science...etc. It is definitely unwise to ignore improving schools at present since we will pay heavy cost in the future.

The way I see it, improving schools played the most important role in successful development of country, especially in a age that technology equals the advanced productivity. So we should not only reinforce the infrastructure of schools but also introduce the advanced education system in it. And to ensure the best education can be shared and broadly distributed by the whole nation.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

14# john_332

Along with the rapidly development in our modern society, requirements for a competent employee in workplace are also changing and getting higher. Universities, that served for the function to provide qualified graduates for the society, should establish or adjust its classes to meet the needs from the current society. So I am fully convinced that basic science classes should be required in the university.

It is indisputable that basic science is closely related with our daily life closely. In order to live a healthy and quality life, not to mention? people have to follow some general knowledge in science to take control of their daily life easily (I don't really get what kind of actions classify as 'follow some general knowledge in science to take control of their daily life'. In other words, your whole expression doesn't ring any bell.), certain complicated techniques must be learned for a long time to apply high technology facilities for particular purpose??.(This sentence is not proper, is too long, and is just too vague for an average reader. One of the purposes of essay writing is to help readers establish a better idea about the topic in discussion, but your essay doesn't quite serve this purpose.) For example, we have to obey some physics rules to use the electricity in our apartments in a proper way, moreover, when we try to use computers or operate an advanced machine for certain purposes (Again, this is too vague. What kind of machine is 'an advanced machine'? What purpose is a 'certain purpose'?) , more knowledge would be involved and sometimes combined with specific operating skills. What's more, even though the university students should focus on their major courses, they should never confine themselves on it them, learning several basic science in other fields (Is there different kinds of 'science' in 'other fields'? Isn't 'science' a field all by itself?) can not only enrich students' campus life and enlarge their horizons,but also benefit the students' careers (I don't see how you can make any conclusion about their 'careers' given that this whole paragraph said nothing about working life.) or later life in the long run.

Some basic science classes may seems irrelevant to the field of the study (Of what or who?), yet ignoring them completely would cause a limit in further studies, just like biology: when a research or study goes deeper in this area, it would involves knowledge from other sciences, like chemistry, mathematics, psychology...etc. (This is not a good example because biology is part of SCIENCE studies itself, so anyone who studies it would be already studying science. The question, however, needs you to discuss the necessity of basic science classes to ALL students, regardless of what they were already studying.) And of course those who have comprehensive knowledege would stand more chance to surpass others. So for the college students, the basic knowledge (What 'basic knowledge'? Or 'basic knowledge' of what? REMEMBER that if you use 'the', your noun needs to be SPECIFIC.) is necessary and beneficial even though it is not part of the field of the study.

Last but not least, it's such a complicated world. to some extent, every subject has connection with each other, either directly or indirectly. If the students have an opportunity to get to know more about the sciences, it may subconsciously form an intelligent mind thus helps them to understand the extensive links inside. (So you're implying that studying the humanities will not form any 'intelligent mind' and will not help students to understand the 'extensive links'. Interesting stereotype.) I think a successful person in a particular field should always be absorb other informations related and be visionary in predicting the future growth in that field. I am now working as an international salesperson (Out of pure curiosity: what kind of salesperson is considered an 'international salesperson'? Do you mean you travel different countries to do sales? That's kind of cool.), and I chose economics as my major, but mastering the economics only is far from enough. I have to learn a new language to communicate with my cilents, study the industry knowledge to get familiar with the products I'm about to sell, and maybe take psychology courses to know how to quote a price and negotiate with customers. The relationship between individual classes may not seems so obvious in studying, but it does somehow has profound meanings in a student's future career when knowledge comes into pratical use. (I don't see how this example illustrates your point about 'science ..form an intelligent mind..helps them to understand the extensive links inside.' What you said was that you were studying a lot of things other than economics, but none in 'a new language', 'industry knowledge' or 'psychology' can be exactly counted as 'science'. Plus, you're already away from the question because you didn't address the 'basic' part in the question at all.)

To summarize, I hold the opinion that the basic science classes are indispensable in universities, because it they have far-reaching influence in on the students and benefit them on both further studies and later careers.

总结：

额。你的语法，尤其是动词的词法，需要认真注意一下。。

论述方面基本上是比较混乱，貌似你对这个题目没什么感觉。。你有分论点的概念，但既没有很实在的论点阐述，也没有能非常有力地把例子和论点和题目联系起来，这样。建议重新审视一下自己的提纲，认真想想要怎么写这样的文章。

john_332UID: 2741978

3-31

Advertisements make products seem better than they are.

Along with the rapid development in both technology and media, advertisements nowadays are becoming more and more aesthetically pleasing to the consumers. Doubtlessly, advertisements is
not only an efficient approach to introduce a new products to the market, but also a strategy to to deliver a excellent image of the products to the target consumers.

The most advantage of advertisements is that it can well present the products' futures so that the public can understand the products better. Thanks to the advance computer technology and creative artists, numerous advertisements have been exquisitely made to advertise products and become successful examples. An advertisement could be either a footage of video or just a few beautiful words or sentences, but it must subtly convey the messages like the wonderful experience of using, high quality with competitive price, innovative functions as well as fashionable appearance. Only when the consumers understand the products' competitive edge could they commit the purchasing.

Additionally, advertisements sometimes use celebrities to represent a product, it is a efficient way to establish a trustworthy image on the products, because the famous person has been acknowledged as reliable, smart or stylish. People who like the person are more likely to purchase the products he or she represented, they tend to believe the product process the same good quality from the person they love. In conclusion, the positive image from celebrities will help the products look good thus promote the goods to the public.

In a diversity world fulfilled with thousands of products, advertisements indeed served as an important role to make the products themselves seems better than they are, and we should never ignore their power on advertising.

ly8768UID: 2452066

21# john_332

水谣碧玺UID: 2765062

Along with the rapid development in both technology and media, advertisements nowadays are becoming more and more aesthetically pleasing to the consumers. Doubtlessly, advertisements is not only an efficient approach to introduce a new products to the market, but also a strategy to to deliver a excellent image of the products to the target consumers. 额，这个题目是广告是不是要比他们本身好，楼主写的这个好像广告的优点or好处?....

The most advantage of advertisements is that it can well present the products' futures so that the public can understand the products better. Thanks to the advance computer technology and creative artists, numerous advertisements have been exquisitely学习 made to advertise products and become successful examples. An advertisement could be either a footage of video or just a few beautiful words or sentences, but it must subtly convey the messages like the wonderful experience of using, high quality with competitive price, innovative functions as well as fashionable appearance. Only when the consumers understand the products' competitive edge could they commit the purchasing.

s6 O# f
Additionally, advertisements sometimes use celebrities to represent a product, it is a efficient way to establish a trustworthy image on the products, because the famous person has been acknowledged as reliable, smart or stylish. People who like the person are more likely to purchase the products he or she represented, they tend to believe the product process the same good quality from the person they love. In conclusion, the positive image from celebrities will help the products look good thus promote the goods to the public.

两段主体段也没有论述出来题目，楼主从一开始就跑题了啊。

In a diversity world fulfilled with thousands of products, advertisements indeed served as an important role to make the products themselves seems better than they are, and we should never ignore their power on advertising.

从文章看出来，楼主的语言功底很好的，只是题目审错了思路写错了。下次看好题目列好提纲再写吧。楼主的词汇很丰富啊，让我中途查了几次词典...囧！

john_332UID: 2741978

4-5   

Students at university or in college should choose the most difficult classes even if they cannot get top grades (marks) in them.

Since college education become more and more important to society, there is a heated debate about whether students at university should choose the most difficult classes even if they cannot get top grades in them. Despite of the fact that marks mean a great deal to college students, I still hold the opinion that students should choose most difficult classes in order to obtain more knowledge and deeper their researches.

No doubt that difficult classes will cause much effort in studying and make students feel anxiety, yet, as a college student, one should take up the challenge and being aggressive. Because the pursuit of advanced and in-depth knowledge is the mission for higher education, hence, it is his/her responsibility to study further no matter how difficult the class is. It doesn't make sense if a college student always stay in the easy level and feel content about what he/she has learn already. Additionally, choose the most difficult classes equals higher ability required which could largely train one's mind and become stronger, for example, micro-economics is more difficult class which requires deliberate thought in complicated situations or formulations, thus form a considerable mind in approaching the solutions, plus, it definitely helpful for me to understand the internal relation and reasons in general economical phenomenons.

On the other hand, student must hold a positive attitude about the meaning of marks or grades. It illustrate to what extent does one understand the subject, and showing the incorrect place one must pay more attention on. It would be meaningless if we achieve top marks in easy class, likewise, one would become useless to the society if he/she hardly learned any thing in college. So, once a student hold a positive attitude about the marks, he/she must choose classes even though they are the most difficult ones.

From what has been discussed about, I hold the opinion that college students must choose difficult classes, not only because they need to improve to a higher level and think wisely, but also because what they have learned has nothing to do with marks or grades but their future career.

wyacUID: 2633619

4.5-gohn by YC.doc (26 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2010-4-6 11:26:04 上传

下载次数: 5

speedzshawUID: 2556376

4.5 修改 by speedzshaw

john_332UID: 2741978

4-11

Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

With the increasing emphasis on quality education , there is a heated debate about whether daily homework is necessary for students, a large amount of people argue that daily homework is a heavy burden to most students and affect
extracurricular activities, yet, I still hold the opinion that daily homework is necessary for students, especially for young students.

No doubt that the most significant aspect of learning is practice, without prompt practice after classes, students will be likely to forget what they have learned or became unfamiliar with the approaches for certain issues. For example, when I was a primary school student, I remember my Chinese teacher assigned homework everyday with some new words, it really caused a lot of time and effort to check every word in dictionary, although I and other students thought it is unnecessary and troublesome, it finally turns out that the constant practice subtly trained our other abilities in other ways and become useful in later study. So I think no matter whether students like it or not, daily homework is necessary, not only because practising is essential in study, but also because regular exercise is  the best way to testify the results of study.

Another point that makes daily homework necessary is its efficiency, as for most students the process of learning is steered by teachers and has been guided step by step, so daily homework played a very important part in executing the teaching plan, alternatively we can say, it is an efficient and productive way keep students up with the learning schedule, nothing is better than a well-organized studying plan which can help students master what they've learned in classes.

From the above reasons, I fully convinced that homework from each day is equally important to the whole learning process, Rome wasn't built in a day, the only shortcut in acquire knowledge is diligent and persistence in practise, that's why daily homework is necessary for students.

john_332UID: 2741978

4-13

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students who keep their rooms neat and organized tend to be more successful than students who do not.

There is no doubt that a lot of factors contribute to a successful person, persistence, diligent, and good habits. Since childhood plays a very significant role in a person's life, and his or her personalities and characters has profound impact on later life, I agree with the point that students who keep their rooms neat and organized tend to be more successful than students who do not.

Just like good habits will lead to good results, and good results in turn will produce a successful outcome.
I hold the opinion that a students who has good habits will become more successful than the those who hasn't. When a young student formed a good habit in his or her life, he or she will keep it all the time, this kind of self-discipline will create positive effects every time in his or her future career and life. There is no
shortage of examples that numerous big mistakes were causes by careless faults, in most cases, those faults came from the negligence of good habit cultivation in early ages. So the way I see it, students who keep their rooms neat and organized are more likely to become a success.

Another reason to support the argument is that, a student who keep their rooms neat and organized will deliver a trustworthy and reliable image to others. It is a very essential for a person to built a reputation of being responsible by getting those little things around himself or herself in order, for example, we may tend to trust a doctor who with a well-organized of the medicines and a sanitary clothes. There is a voice in our mind, how can we put some work to a person who can barely even take care of his or her own business ?
When a person has been labeled with being irresponsible since his or her early schooling , I don't think he or she can make smashing success in later life. The little habit, just like keep room neat and organized, may seems irrelevant with future career but it does have profound impacts in another way. It not only undermining the quality of a person but also cause potential problem for oneself.

For what has been discussed above, I fully convinced that students who keep their rooms neat and organized will enjoy more opportunities because of their good qualities and good habits, and gain more credibility and respect from others, so they tend to be more successful than others who do not.

zhaoliyaoUID: 2388938

4-13

6 tDo youagree or disagree with the following statement? Students who keep theirrooms neat and organized tend to be more successful than students whodo not.: F0 N% n9 A5 T# e) u

There is no doubt that a lot of factors contribute to a successfulperson, persistence, diligent, and good habits. Since childhood plays avery significant role in a person's life, and his or her personalitiesand characters has profound impact on later life, I agree with thepoint that students who keep their rooms neat and organized tend to bemore successful than students who do not.7 N1 }/ s1 W- i  l5 [7 F( E
$ Y8 s5 ]8 s( a
Just like good habits will lead to good results, and good results in turn will produce a successful outcome.% t. B* z5 I7 G+ Q- [
I hold the opinion that a(去掉) students who has（have） good habits will become moresuccessful than the those (感觉上段末尾和这段开头两次说明观点，是不是有点儿显得重复，后面的一次是不是其实也可以去掉呢？个人意见呵呵)When a young student formed agood habit in his or her life, he or she will keep it all the time,this kind of self-discipline will create positive effects every time inhis or her future career and life. There is no(此处感觉没有衔接上吧）& I2 Y% B0 o- V. X$ o" V
shortage of examples that numerous big mistakes were causes by carelessfaults, in most cases, those faults came from the negligence of goodhabit cultivation in early ages. So the way I see it, students who keeptheir rooms neat and organized are more likely to become a success.! ?- M# j3 w2 ~! Y# g1 A
. ~  Y; J. ^* N% A( m4 x$ w
Another reason to support the argument is that, a(去掉） student（s) who keeptheir rooms neat and organized will deliver a trustworthy and reliableimage to others. It is a very essential (element)for a person to built a reputation of being responsible by getting those little things aroundhimself or herself in order,
for example, we may tend to trust a doctorwho(删去） with a （删去）well-organized of the medicines and a sanitary clothes.There is a voice in our mind, how can we put some work to a person whocan barely even take care of his or her own business ?
When a person hasbeen labeled with being irresponsible since his or her early schooling, I don't think he or she can make smashing success in later life. Thelittle habit, just like keep room neat and organized, may seemsirrelevant with future career but it does have profound impacts inanother way. It not only undermining （determines)the quality of a person but also cause(s) potential problem for oneself.( g; Q8 ^8 d3 b: v

For whathas been discussed above, I fully convinced(动词原形即可） that students who keeptheir rooms neat and organized will enjoy more opportunities because oftheir good qualities and good habits, and gain more credibility andrespect from others, so they tend to be more successful than others whodo not.
感觉楼主的句式词汇都很厉害，原来是高手！我要向你学习。就是小的细节比如单复数问题和时态问题需要注意一下了。一起加油！！

yan121UID: 2415099

There is no doubt that a lot of factors contribute to a successful person, persistence, diligent（是不是应该全用名词呢？）, and good habits. Since childhood plays a very（可去掉，significant就已经有强调的作用了吧？？） significant role in a person's life, and his or her personalities and characters has profound impact on later life, I agree with the point that students who keep their rooms neat and organized tend to be more successful than students who do not.

Just like good habits will lead to good results, and good results in turn will produce a successful outcome. I hold the opinion that a student who has good habits will become more successful than the those who hasn't（doesn’t）. When a young student formed a good habit in his or her life（maybe ‘earlier life’ here would be better??）, he or she will（个人觉得改成and比较顺呢..） keep it all the time, this kind of self-discipline will create positive effects every time（用在这里的意义是？觉得有点累赘了额..） in his or her future career and life. There is no shortage of examples that numerous big mistakes were causes（caused） by careless faults,（句号，另起一句） in most cases, those faults came from the negligence of good habit（s） cultivation in early ages. So the way I see it, students who keep their rooms neat and organized are more likely to become a success （person）.（最后这句连得有点生硬哦 最好跟good habits能联系一下）

Another reason to support the argument is that, a student who keep their rooms neat and organized will deliver a trustworthy and reliable image to others. （good point!）It is a(去掉) very essential for a person to built a reputation of being responsible by getting those little things around himself or herself in order,（可句号） for example, we may tend to trust a doctor who with a well-organized of the medicines（这个..有点怪 不要of the会不会好些？） and a sanitary clothes. There is a voice in our mind, how can we put some work to a person who can barely even take care of his or her own business ? When a person has been labeled with being irresponsible since his or her early schooling , I don't think he or she can make smashing success in later life. The little habit, just like keep（keeping，like后面宾语应该要是动名词或者不定式吧？？）room neat and organized, may seems irrelevant with future career but it does have profound impacts in another（如果不是特指某种方式，是不是应该用other ways?） way. It not only undermining(undermine) the quality of a person but also cause potential problem for oneself.

For what has been discussed above, I am fully convinced that students who keep their rooms neat and organized will enjoy more opportunities because of their good qualities and good habits, and gain more credibility and respect from others, so they tend to be more successful than others who do not.


结构挺好的，开头结尾，每段的主题句都很清晰。就是有些语法问题需要稍微注意一下。加油哈～