[Big Fish]2月28日Argument53 by--Sansouci

SansouciUID: 2755036

2.28 Argument No.053

Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin—a hormone known to affect some brain functions—would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children—now teenagers—who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.

In this argument, the arguer concludes that the so-called melatonin increased levels before birth result in shyness during infancy and will continue into later life. To support the conclusion, the arguer cites the result of thirteen years ago and a follow-up study conducted earlier this years. In addition, the arguer assumes that melatonin would increase in early autumn. This argument suffers from several critical fallacies.
Firstly, the author only cites a study of thirteen years ago could hardly illustrate the assumption unfamiliar stimuli affects infants that because the author provides only 25 samples of, however, a group of 25 infants might not be representative of the whole general group. Thus we cannot accept the author’s conclusion that increased levels of melatonin before birth lead shyness during infancy before author could provide more statistic data about the situation of other sub-groups.
Secondly, the most important problem is the underlying assumption that it is the high levels of mothers’ production of melatonin that resulted in the distress showed by the infants studied. The author only points out that the two events occurred during the same period, however, we all know that merely a coincidence of two events could not sufficiently demonstrate a causal relationship between them. Many other factors could also lead to the infants being stressed might include physical discomfortable from the infants himself/herself. Without ruling out such factors, we could not be convinced that the high levels of mothers’ production of melatonin are the actual cause of the stress showed by the infants.
Finally, in explain shyness continues into later life the author is presenting a false dilemma. The author simply assumes that for the reason of melatonin existence, while the two things are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Many other genetic or environmental factors will cause shyness in those teenagers. Before ruling out all the possibilities above, the author could not convince us that there are only those two possible explanations for us to accept increased levels of melatonin before birth lead shyness continues into later life.
In conclusion, the article is not persuasive. To bolster is the author must provide clearer evidence that increased levels of melatonin directly lead infant shy and also continue shyness in those teenagers on the regular basis. Such evidence might include the following: a survey showing that how melatonin has an effect on infants; and assurances from that shyness would continue into their later life.

cooltozeroUID: 2705603

In this argument, the arguer concludes that the so-called melatonin increased levels before birth result in shyness during infancy and will continue into later life(貌似这句里没有主语，要不就是前面那个melatonin increased levels 这样的话，就和题目的意思不一样了。是个语法问题。). To support the conclusion, the arguer cites the(a是不是合适一点哦？） result of thirteen years ago and a follow-up study conducted earlier this years（year). In addition, the arguer assumes that melatonin would increase in early autumn. This argument suffers from several critical fallacies. （这段模板很适用，跟孙远的那本书上其中一个相同。我倒是觉得，如果我们每人能总结出自己的一个模版的话就更好了。）
Firstly, the author only cites a study of thirteen years ago could hardly illustrate the assumption unfamiliar stimuli affects infants that（that 放这里是什么意思呢，是不是该放在assumption后面？） because the author provides only（这一句用了两个Only了。） 25 samples of（？）,（该用句号吧？） however, a group of 25 infants might not be representative of the whole general group. Thus we cannot accept the author’s conclusion that increased levels of melatonin before birth lead shyness during infancy before author could provide more statistic data about the situation of other sub-groups.（很感谢你，让我学到新的方法了，我开始以为，人数太少这个问题，一句话就可以处理，原来还可以发挥成一段的！！太好了！！ 只是我觉得，人数太少，不仅不能得出melatonin 是造成shiness in infancy  的原因，而且，给整个逻辑过程都造成了数据不足的这么一个问题。）
Secondly, the most important problem is the underlying assumption that it is the high levels of mothers’ production of melatonin that resulted in the distress showed by the infants studied. The author only points out that the two events occurred during the same period, however, we all know that merely a coincidence of two events could not sufficiently demonstrate a causal relationship between them. Many other factors could also lead to the infants being stressed might include physical discomfortable from the infants himself/herself(主语又是什么呢？似乎一句话里似乎成分很乱，也许可以改成：Many other factors such as physical discomfortable from the infants himself/herself could also lead to the infants being stressed）. Without ruling out(好短语） such factors, we could not be convinced that the high levels of mothers’ production of melatonin are the actual cause of the stress showed by the infants.
Finally, in explain（explain 有名词的意思么？，怎么能放在介词的后面呢） shyness continues into later life the author is presenting a false dilemma. The author simply assumes that for the reason of melatonin existence, while the two things are not necessarily mutually exclusive（宾语从句that后面应该跟一个句子吧，但这后面貌似不是一个完整的句子啊，又有for ,又有while 的。）. Many other genetic or environmental factors will cause shyness in those teenagers. Before ruling out all the possibilities above, the author could not convince us that there are only those two possible explanations for us to accept（这个accept 是指accept 前面的exlplanations还是说后面的这个结论？这句也有点不完整。） increased levels of melatonin before birth lead shyness continues into later life.
In conclusion, the article is not persuasive. To bolster is(it) the author must provide clearer evidence that increased levels of melatonin directly lead infant shy and also continue shyness in those teenagers on the regular basis. Such evidence might include the following: a survey showing that how melatonin has an effect on infants; and assurances from that shyness would continue into their later life.
(本篇结构上面没有什么问题，比较清晰。 不过，指出原文两处逻辑错误，也许少了一些。
语言上，问题稍多一点，可能需要经常注意一下句子的逻辑关系。
我也是初来乍到，希望大家多交流。不当的地方，多指教。）

cooltozeroUID: 2705603

你的ISSUE ，我明天早上再来拍了，真不好意思。时间太紧了，我得去做今天的作业。见谅！！