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[活动] 独立作文 by Eva 求修改 感谢!! [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-3-11 16:32:41 |只看该作者
另外麻烦改下我昨天那篇咯~thx
就算世界只剩下我独奏

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发表于 2010-8-24 09:15:13 |只看该作者
8.24IndepentW.doc (27.5 KB, 下载次数: 4)
Improving schools is the most importantfactor in the successful development of a country.

It is hard to draw a final decision thatwhat is the most important factor in the successful development of a countrywithout evaluating the specific situation about the country.

The children are the future of one country.A group of genius students will definitely help the country improve thescientific ability. And the child with strong body might help the country toget more Olympic Game Reward. The young with leadership also can build arenowned cooperation to make the economical prosperous. Only by a reasonableeducation system can the children recognize and develop their talents. Thissystem not only provides a healthy environment for the child, but also properlyhonors the good and punishes the wrong behaviors.

Although education is really significantfor one country's future, it might not be the most urgent case for all country,especially for the poor country. People in some country are still staving, sufferingfrom cold, or facing violence. For this country what the government must do isto solve the social or financial problem first. Without a relatively peacefuland prosperous environment, the input for education or school might appear futile.

Improving school will help the country nurturethe high-quality student at some extent. But it will still be questionablewhether education is the most important factor for the development of onecountry. More information about the country's social, politic and economicshould be taken into account. In addition, a surfeit attention in educationalso means a negligence of other aspects, which also require enough care, suchas protecting environment.

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发表于 2010-8-24 20:22:37 |只看该作者
Improving schools is the most importantfactor in the successful development of a country., w% ^1 K( J/ I( r

It is hard to draw a final decision thatwhat is the most important factor in the successful development of a countrywithout evaluating the specific situation about the country.
非直接肯定或否定,很期待楼主下面的写法。

首段最好能p/ T- j( J
The children are the future of one country.A group of genius students will definitely help the country improve thescientific ability(scientific research level). And the child with strong body might help the country toget more Olympic Game Reward. The young with leadership also can build arenowned cooperation to make the economical prosperous. Only by a reasonableeducation system can the children recognize and develop their talents. Thissystem not only provides a healthy environment for the child, but also properlyhonors the good and punishes the wrong behaviors.
个人觉得,楼主和我都犯了一个错误,理所当然的认为,人是社会中最重要的,那么学校就是最重要的了。
Although education is really significantfor one country's future, it might not be the most urgent case for all country,especially for the poor country. People in some country(countries) are still staving(starving), suffering from cold, or facing violence. For this country what the government must do is to solve the social or financial problem first. Without a relatively peaceful and prosperous environment, the input for education or school might appear futile.

Improving school will help the country nurture the high-quality student at some extent. But it will still be questionable whether education is the most important factor for the development of one country. More information about the country's social, politic and economicshould be taken into account. In addition, a surfeit(of) attention in educationalso means a negligence of other aspects, which also require enough care, suchas protecting environment.
楼主的语言很好,学了很多新词,希望楼主能够注意一下整个文章的思路,感觉论证有点混乱,个人见解,如有不妥之处,敬请原谅,呵呵。
不放弃,不灰心

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荣誉版主 枫华正茂 枫情万种

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发表于 2010-8-25 00:20:06 |只看该作者
已修改

8.24IndepentW.doc

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发表于 2010-8-25 13:26:47 |只看该作者
Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement:

Newspapers andmagazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country. (Media)

Newspapers and magazines, in some extent,would be a brilliant resources including various information about local but itmight always be the best methods to get in touch with one country.

First of all, most of the newspapers andmagazines aimed at selling to local people; therefore it might not be easilyunderstood by the foreigner, especially when the language of newspaper is notyour mother tongue. For instance, I had been to Malaysia once and I bought thelocal newspaper in order to get more information about this country. However,reading the papers was not fluent, since the language of newspapers have itslocal style. It will take a long time to finish a piece of paper.

Second, most person go to foreign countryfor trip would get the useful information in the travel hand-book, not thenewspapers or magazines. Since most popular newspapers or magazines report thenews, sports, finance, while the newspapers or magazines about travel, or architecture,or food might hard to buy since they are low-sale in a country which is notfamous for its travelling industry. In addition, one can only enjoy the scene"standing on the beach and watching the blue ocean the pure sky with thewarm sunshine" by being here. Only through newspaper and magazines wouldnot be relaxing from work.

Finally, the newspapers and magazines wouldnot include all the possible information one might need. We all know that when onehas a difficulty in a foreign country, the first to do is ask not to watch thenewspaper or magazines.

The newspapers and magazines might providea favorable reading process, but one want to learn something. The first to dois putting down the reading materials, and having a real look yourself.
8.24IndependentW.doc (27.5 KB, 下载次数: 4)

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发表于 2010-8-25 14:23:38 |只看该作者
如果楼主要回复意见的话,最好到我的作文帖子里留言,这样不容易漏掉~

8.24IndependentW.doc

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经历是一份礼物,我们正在被赐予着。

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发表于 2010-9-6 23:19:39 |只看该作者
0906

2009.9.11 NA(上周的题目非 9.11)

       it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about reallife,agree or disagree.

No all people watch the movie for thelessons about real life. There are still advantages to watch a movie whichinstruct people in the real world.

First of all, the huge market success of horrorand fiction film test the value of the movies based on the imagination. The fictionmovie <inception> is not only ranked number one in the movie marketrecently, but also lauded by its art value. In addition, there are numerousfamous movies which cannot teach us a lot about the real life, but they affectand attract generation by generation. For example, the movie <ET> and<X-men> portray the life seldom happen in the real life, but now thedownload rate of these two movies still relatively high.

Second, although some movies cannot teachus about real life, they still can let people obtain the relaxation. One of thecritical features of movie would be helping people to decompress. And more andmore people go to the cinema to reduce the stress or pressure. Learning is notthe only reason for watching the film. So people now are willing to pay towatch a comedy, which lacks of lessons about life.

Third, the fiction movies can inspire people’simagination. Some people, especially children, loves to watch the fiction,because they more likely to curious about the world. The fictive scenes of thefiction movie stimulate people’s imagination. For instance, the <star-trek>which tells the story of the future world inspires many people to explore theoutside world. This point can demonstrate by the fanatic action of this film supporter.And some astronaut also indicts their fans of this movie.



In a nutshell, people still can benefit fromwatch the movies without lessons or experiences about the real life.




0906_IndependentW_movies to help real life.doc (27 KB, 下载次数: 0)

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发表于 2010-9-7 23:26:13 |只看该作者
People should read newspaper to trulyunderstand any world event, television do not contain enough information.

In my opinion, newspaper and television areboth essential tools to obtain information recently. Therefore in order to understandthe world completely and comprehensively, we should combine them instead ofusing one tool individually. None of each one can replace the other.

First of all, television program is morevivid and easily absorbed. Since the development of new technology, now thenews can be recorded by the video or photo. Obviously, the liveliness of videocan touch more people's heart. For example, I often move by the process of babyboring showed in the TV program. However, I seldom have feeling about thepassage describe the baby born process. And the video news about the realsituation of earthquake can shock more people and get more attention. Inaddition, numerous deliberate programs are made to help people relax. Seatingon the couch and Watching TV really reduce my pressure and stress, whilereading the newspapers sometimes make me more tired.

Secondly, characters cannot be replaced bythe picture just as newspaper cannot be replaced by the TV. Now, more and morenovels are presented by the movies or TV program. But the movies derive theimagination of readers. Take <pride and prejudice> as a example, everybody's has his or her own Darcy(The main character in the novel <pride andprejudice>) and the Darcy in the movies could not satisfy every one'sappetite. So, I guess the obscure, which can inspire giant imagination, mightbe the essential of reading. What's more, the pithy in the record or scene inthe video might garble or mask some truth.

In a nutshell, no one can refute that bothnewspaper and TV program help us to truly understand better.



0907_TV vs Newspaper_IndependentW.doc (27 KB, 下载次数: 2)

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发表于 2010-9-8 20:06:18 |只看该作者
0907_TV_vs_Newspaper_IndependentW.doc (29.5 KB, 下载次数: 1) 已改好~

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发表于 2010-9-8 20:25:46 |只看该作者
9-7的改好了

0907_TV vs Newspaper_IndependentW.doc

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发表于 2010-9-8 21:03:01 |只看该作者
It's better to use own knowledge andexperience to solve question, or ask other people for advice

When facing a problem, some people preferto solve it alone and other people prefer to ask for help. As far as Iconcerned, I am more likely to ask others for advice.

I hold the belief that more people arebetter than one people. Since more people means more knowledge and more experience,which will surely helpful to come up with a better solution. Especially for me,who lack of the variety and depth of knowledge, asking for help becomes necessary.If I am not asking for a help, there might be not solution for the problem. Inaddition, the discussion of the problem will stimulate more creativity and valuableideas.

Second, asking a help will use less time insolving the problem and grave better in memory. The consequences of solvingquestion alone are really painful to me. Once I tried to solve a mathematicalproblem and finally I failed, which means I lavished my time, and in themeanwhile, got nothing. So the experiences tell me that ask and listen other'sadvice will be an efficient way to solve a problem quickly. What's more, accordingto surveys when somebody get the result after the discussion, he or she willremember the result more firmly.

The last but not the least, communicationcan help to build friendship. The one being asked obtains confidence andreliability. And this interaction gives a appropriate chance to make friends. Ialready make some friends through solving one question. And through asking,one's communication ability, which is essential in every one's life, willdefinitely develop.

Why not ask help, if you can benefit fromit.



0908_Asking help vs not_IndependentW.doc (27 KB, 下载次数: 4)

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发表于 2010-9-9 09:29:15 |只看该作者
已改好。

0908_Asking help vs not_IndependentW.doc

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我:不写谓语。例子重复,长句控不住,啰嗦不说正事。

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发表于 2010-9-9 18:29:59 |只看该作者
9-8 独立 改

0908_Asking help vs not_IndependentW.doc

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发表于 2010-9-11 12:03:05 |只看该作者
Since education is linked to every family,the behaviors of the teacher are often focus by the society. And nowadays, thedebate about whether teacher can talk about their social and political views inclass or not becomes intensive. As far as I concerned, the answer depends onthe age and cognizance ability of the student.


First of all, teacher telling the social orpolitical views to student in the elementary class is inappropriate. Thestudent in elementary school lacks the ability to understand the society orpolitic fully. They are inclined to imitate or follow their respecting people,such as their parents or teachers. Thus if the teacher express his/herpolitical attitude directly to the young and naive children, the children mightremember their teacher's point in blind and in grain. Young children accepting opinionswithout their own thinking will hurt the student's independent thinking abilityto some extent in long turn. And society and political problems appearsinconsistent, so an elementary school teacher, which not an expert in society, probablyholds an idea largely resulted from ignorance or prejudice. The incorrect viewsalso can hurt the healthy children.


In the meanwhile, the most crucial task foryoung children is to study the knowledge, and talking about society in theclass waste numerous treasure time of class. Absorbing the complicated knowledgeof politic confuses a child’s cognizance.


Secondly, a college teacher can mentionhis/her views more freely. Since the student of college has a morecomprehensively ability to distinguish the wrong and right, teacher’s socialviews always not followed by the student without a complete thinking. In addition,some college teachers are experts in social or political area. Their views mightexpand the student’s horizon more or less. But I think when the college teachersclaim their views, they should not directly point out that their opinions areright or correct, for there is seldom absolute right or wrong in politic.



0909_teacher talks their social or political views in the class_IndependentWriting.doc (27.5 KB, 下载次数: 1)

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发表于 2010-9-11 19:59:49 |只看该作者
0911_Purpose of TV_IndependentWriting.doc (27.5 KB, 下载次数: 4)

Do you agree or disagree the followstatement: should the purpose of television be all educative, not entertain


Since the rapid development of videotechnology, the variety and depth of television programs without doubt areincrease. Therefore, the number of program made for education or entertainmentor for both is dramatically rising. As far as I concerned, the statement thatthe purpose of television is all educative largely results from ignorance andprejudice and simultaneously masks the other essential purpose for people whowatch the TV, which is search for entertainment or relaxation.


There is not doubt that TV programs whichcan teach them something attract people in some extent. The exemplar is the TVfamous program <discovery>, which contains numerous knowledge in eachepisode. Sometimes, I look these programs for help. For example, before I wrotean essay about my favorable book, I searched the TV program depicting <Prideand Prejudice> and watched it in order to get more information about this book.In addition, some people insist to watch those educative TV program to obtainthe relaxation for they do not want to waste any time in their treasure life.It is safe to get the conclusion that education is the purpose for some of thetelevision program and now the program makers do an excellent job to create brilliantTV program to cater people at all level from pre-school to post-doctoral. Butclearly, the TV programs for entertainment are also welcomed by huge number ofpeople.


The disadvantages of educative TV programare obvious. I guess that if all the programs are educative. The numbers ofpeople who watch TV program daily will be decrease rapidly, since most peopletake the TV program as a tool to relax and feel tired when they watch the didacticprograms. I really enjoy the TV serious <friends>, because this programmakes me laugh not because it can teach me something. Thus I believe that theentertainment program also have its irreplaceable value.


In a nutshell, education and entertainment aretwo targets of media industry.

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RE: 独立作文 by Eva 求修改 感谢!! [修改]

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