A169 恳求大家指点！有拍必回！

cclizhanUID: 2756273

啊啊啊啊啊啊！！！！字数极少！！！第二篇练习，完全无话可说，套模板。恳请各位高人指点！！！！
"Some studies conducted by Bronston College, which is also located in a small town, reveal that both male and female professors are happier living in small towns when their spouses are also employed in the same geographic area. Therefore, in the interest of attracting the most gifted teachers and researchers to our faculty and improving the morale of our entire staff, we at Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member we hire. Although we cannot expect all offers to be accepted or to be viewed as an ideal job offer, the money invested in this effort will clearly be well spent because, if their spouses have a chance of employment, new professors will be more likely to accept our offers."
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        In this argument ,the author recommends that in order to attract the most gifted teachers and reseachers , Pierce University(PU) should give offers to the spouse of each new faculty member they hire .To uphold it ,the author cites some studies conducted by Bronston University(BU).At first glance,the argument appears somehow plausible,but further scrutiny reveals that the argument is logicolly flawed in several critical aspects.
        To begin with,the author bases his recommendation on some studies which are too vague to be convincintg conducted by BU.The author does not indicate where the studies conducted ,how many professors respond to the studies and whether they are representative.Lacking such detail information about the studies,it's impossible to evaluate the credibility of the studies.
        In addition,even the studies are credible,the author cannot conclude that in PU they can attract the most gifted professors and reseachers by offering  employment to the spouse of each new faculty member they hire.The author overlooks the differences between PU and BU.For instance,BU offers much more bonuses and the  teaching and reseaching environment are better and so on.Without rulling out these and other possibilities,the author cannot convice me.
        What' more ,the author unfairly assumes they will atrract the most gifited teachers and reseachers.There are so many important factors that will affect whether the teachers or reseachers will choose the job offer.Working with their spouses is just one of the factors.The PU maybe can attract new teachers and reseachers ,but not necessarilly the most gified ones, let alone improving the morale of their ertire staff.
       Finally,the author assumes too hastily that the money invested will be well spent without considering if the money is worthy.It is entirely possible that the spouses of the new member they hire already have jobs in this area or they likely to work for a better salary.If so, the money they spend will be a waste.
     In conclusion,the author fails to validate the recommendation that they should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty members they hire.To substantiate the recommendation,the author must provide some reliable statistics or studies.In addition, the author should rull out all the possibilities mentioned above which determine the author's recommendation.

jasminejzy49UID: 2760913

In this argument ,the author recommends that in order to attract the most gifted teachers and reseachers (researcher) , Pierce University(PU) should give offers to the spouse of each new faculty member they hire .To uphold it ,the author cites some studies conducted by Bronston University(BU).At first glance, the argument appears somehow plausible, but further scrutiny reveals that the argument is logicolly (logically) flawed in several critical aspects.

        To begin with, the author bases his recommendation on some studies which are too vague to be convincintg (convincing) conducted by BU. The author does not indicate where the studies conducted, how many professors respond to the studies and whether they are representative. Lacking such detail information about the studies, it's impossible to evaluate the credibility of the studies.

        In addition, even (granted that) the studies are credible, the author cannot conclude that in PU they can attract the most gifted professors and reseachers by offering  employment to the spouse of each new faculty member they hire. The author overlooks the differences between PU and BU. For instance, BU offers much more bonuses and the teaching and reseaching environment are better and so on. Without rulling (ruling) out these and other possibilities, the author cannot convice (convince) me.
        What' more, the author unfairly assumes they will attract the most gifted teachers and reseachers. There are so many important factors that will affect whether the teachers or reseachers will choose the job offer. Working with their spouses is just one of the factors. The PU maybe can attract new teachers and reseachers ,but not necessarilly (necessarily) the most gified ones, let alone improving the morale of their ertire (entire) staff (我觉得最后一句可以作为一个攻击点。而且这一段感觉和上一段说的有点重复，并且个人的主要观点表达的不强烈。).

       Finally, the author assumes too hastily that the money invested will be well spent without considering if the money is worthy. It is entirely possible that the spouses of the new member they hire already have jobs in this area or they likely to work for a better salary. If so, the money they spend will be a waste.（有点矛盾。。如果他们的配偶没在这工作，那钱不是没花在他们身上，又怎么会浪费呢。。是不是worthy of the money 应该是从他们请教授能做多大的贡献考虑的吧。。。。我的拙见。。）

     In conclusion, the author fails to validate the recommendation that they should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty members they hire. To substantiate the recommendation, the author must provide some reliable statistics or studies（建设性意见，可以写出具体哪些调查可以再被调查）. In addition, the author should rule out all the possibilities mentioned above which determine the author's recommendation.

cclizhanUID: 2756273

2# jasminejzy49
恩 貌似就是我理解错题意了 在花费方面 我再修改修改
THX A LOT!

jasminejzy49UID: 2760913

还有啊~~建议楼主写完要小检查下拼写错误哦~~~

这是我的169~~欢迎指点~~ https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1067697-1-1.html