翠花独立作文贴

ly8768UID: 2452066

15# 我是chineselady
修改在word文档

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

3.25 09.03.27

+ x3 c* [0 H3 k. ~) oTeachers should not show their political or social views known in the classroom

Teachers could cause influence on students’ view of life in some aspects, especially to those in elementary schools. Sometimes teachers would like to express their ideas concerning society and politics in classes consciously or unconsciously. In my point of view, I believe that teachers can show their opinion on these affairs based on students’ ages. The reason is that students who are younger will feel hard to understand and probably can be impacted adversely.

Students in elementary school lack of cognition will be confused by teachers’ perspective. Teachers in such school need to be careful about their speech because it may result in negative effects on students’ hearts and minds. Due to limited knowledge about this world and society, students in elementary school are encouraged to study basic academic program and meanwhile teachers should let them expose in a friendly environment. As we know that corruption exists in any government and society, which leads some young people to having an unfavorable attitude towards society. If a young teacher shows ideas according to his or her point of view, it definitely will impact on students’ thoughts by holding an adverse feeling about society when grow up. I still remembered what my teacher taught us in a history course in my elementary school, which has still marked in my mind since then. During WWT, our country experienced extreme time and as long as I read or watch the document of this period by magazine or video, it reminds of me what my teacher’s speech. It is drastically hurtful and painful. I believe that my heart would be better and more just if learn those as an adult. At that time I was a little child without independent thinking. What I trust is all from teachers.

Various perspectives on society and politics could be hot topics among students in university. Since the majority of teachers’ ages are quiet closed to college students, teachers can express their views on such controversial subjects. It will not have disadvantages influence on students because they already have their own world outlook and view of life. They also can argue around this issue to prove whose is more impartial. Especially a young male teacher has inclination to bring about a hot political event in class just like my accounting teacher. Then during break, some students who have similar interests on this topic would like to continue their arguments over lunch or coffee. Therefore, social and political views from teacher could be brought out in university as students have independent ideas about the world.

In sum, teachers should not be constrained to express their perspectives on these controversial topics. It depends on in what kind of school that teachers can show their views. In order to maintain a friendly world to children, I assume that it is not appropriate to talk this in elementary school but in university, it could be a fair issue to discuss.

馋MEUID: 2761685

[Every country would like to achieve a better living condition for its citizens and strengthen its national power. There are several aspects need considering, including developing schools, which leads me to believe that improvement of school is not the most factor in development of country. It must have other elements to be regarded (有点啰嗦，直接改成other elements should also be regared)for one nation to complete (achieve)success.

School as a cradle for people to get education ,plays an essential role in one country but not the whole. The reason is that education, being a life time process, could not be ignored by any nation. In fact, school system reflects one (a)country’s economic growth in some cases. For example, the States as one of developed nations with hundreds of famous universities has attracted talents from all over the world since WWT. It is inevitably to show (有点看不懂啊 )that advanced education can be one of factors to assist the United States to be a powerful country. There must be, however, other reasons to explain the international position of US around the world, such as appropriate geographical situation（location） by facing Pacific Ocean and Atlantic Ocean, opened economic policy with private oriented companies. The success of one country cannot limit within education and school only. Let us take another example of India. India is renowned for its computer science program and software. Students could be employed in some developed countries or corporations after graduation from university in India. But why India is still a developing country even if it has strong software industry? With heavy population, problem of agriculture and traditions and religion, it really takes time for India to get developed. Hence, there are several conditions for one country to achieve success not only the school facilities（例子挺好，就是那个facilities好像跟主题有点不搭）

With the advert of globalization, going abroad is not constrained due to accessible transportation and available polities（attractive policies）. Young people after studying in other country as overseas students could bring back advanced technology and information to their hometowns. Presently younger generation such as high school or middle school students in my country apply for university in US. It does not a big deal that (好像没听过这样的用法 啊)the higher institutes of my country are not as advanced as those in developed countries, but with more excellent students come back along with latest science technology, it will benefit our country and lead to success in various ways.这段的论点有点站不住脚

In sum, school could help a nation if it has modern facilities and education, but it is not the only condition for one country to become developed. Other conditions should be included in achieving prosperousness（prosperity） and success.

wyacUID: 2633619

翠花--3.25.doc (26.5 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2010-3-26 10:02:09 上传

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mpromanusUID: 2565872

7# 我是chineselady

The majority of students in universities or colleges choose academic programs according to their dreams and hobbies. As adults, they are mature enough to make plans for their futures. It leads me to believe that students should focus on main courses due to the fact that ('due to' needs a noun. A gerund isn't always appropriate.) not all students preferring to study sciences even as minor subjects. So I do not agree with the idea that students in universities are required to take basic science classes.

(Would be nice to use some lead-up like 'firstly' here, to smooth out the flow of ideas.) Students in specific majors need more (What are you comparing with?) time to complete school assignments. Basic science classes definitely could occupy their time to take or have discussion with others students. It (What? If you're trying to refer to the same subject in the previous sentence, then this should be 'they', because the subject of the previous sentence is 'basic science classES'.) will bring pressure and cause some dire consequences in some cases. For instance, I spend most of my time in doing my market research concerning market, which keeps me going out and following a dairy product in every big shopping mall. That research is what I should finish this term as a business major student. In addition, I made a decision to work in the sales department of one company after graduation, and a science course, might not benefit me in future situation, so it is unreasonable for me to take time to learn it. If that policy,of requiring students to take science classes was in my university, I extremely would be extremely low inefficient in my main program study. Consequently, it will not bring me any advantage in academic life and will impact my spare time as I have to do homework from basic science classes. In terms of this, my classmates who are in similar situations with me will not consider this requirement is wise. If most students skip science lessons, then it means that the university wastes expenses and energy in preparing this subject. (Traces of infucence from your native language, especially in the way you use adverbs. Adverbs should be close to their associated verbs or adjectives.)

A Science course may discourage some students who have no talent or interest in this area. As we know that individuals with various geniuses should have more development in the areas they are favored with , and then could they get better achievements. (This is not a complete sentence, unless you take out the first 'that'.) Students who have strong capacity in music will be more confident when they are appreciated in music performance, such as piano playing. They probably would be discouraged and frustrated at the mere of studying of a science subject. It may not be hard to understand for some students, but not for all. Students in universities and colleges are ready for their future jobs and the lives they pursue. I assume that they understand their wisdom? (This word is often associated with being elderly, or being senior.) and competences. Basic science studying could cause them to be low spirited and depressed, because it does not cater to their abilities and minds, but have to confront?. In order to enable students to be self-believing, universities should not set a rule to require students who are from other majors to take science classes.

In conclusion, it is not a favorable method to ask students in universities to study science as it will not play any positive role in their life on campus. What the students do is to focus on main programs based on their capacities and interests.

总结：

你的说理论述不错，但是语法方面还有些磕碰，尤其是单复数和句子/短语的完整。总体来说问题不算很大，但语法问题说大不大，说小不小，所以还是应该多注意一下。

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

3.26(3.26 08.11.7NA)
For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?

Governments have responsibilities to lead their countries to be successful. Education, arranging from kindergartens and elementary schools to universities, plays an essential role in enhancing one nation’s strength. So in my point of view, I believe that governments should not focus on one side because both need to be developed in order to be advanced.

Firstly, childhood is the golden time to cultivate children’s cognition and talent. A completed basic education system can help to educate children in earlier time. At present, the numbers of training centers for younger generation are increasing with more concerns about developing smart children from parents and governments. Besides, it is easier for them to master certain skills than adults do. For instance, learning music instruments, people will hard to study and practice when they grow up. When I was in kindergarten, my parents registered a dancing course for me. I did not really know what was for at that time and just followed teacher to learn basic steps. With my heart and mind get matured, I have started cultivating a sense of music while studied to play piano, which made me more accessible to absorb playing piano skills and knowledge due to basic musical foundation. And my friend from the same dancing course was aware that she had special genius in dance and chose it as her major in college. Without sound music facilities and education environment, people like my friend could not realize that they had such capacities in specific program, and it would probably be hard for me to master piano. Experiences including mine and my friend show that children can learn something easier. Especially next generation is the future of one’s country, which is the crucial reason to encourage government to focus its budget in this area.

Furthermore, students in colleges and universities have directly contributions to their country. Young people should have opportunities to have internship to gain experience related to their academic majors. Governments need to carry out concerning programs and provide a space for students to develop themselves. In addition, budge can be used to attract more famous professors from overseas who could bring latest information and technology. That will benefit a nation’s power in different aspects such as industry and economy when students graduate.

In conclusion, governments should focus on both foundation education for children and universities for various advantages. If one country would like to be successful and to be powerful in this world, education for younger generation and for students in higher institutes cannot be separated.

stefanie299UID: 2667762

3.26(3.26 08.11.7NA)% J' {- j( H* ^
For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?


j
Governments have responsibilities to lead their countries to be successful. Education, arranging from kindergartens and elementary schools to universities, plays an essential role in enhancing one nation’s strength. So in my point of view, I believe that(有点多余) governments should not focus on one side because both need to be developed in order to be advanced（语病）.; W% A) k) l1 R8 H
: S3 T4 M- B; _" u3 z- E


Firstly, childhood is the golden time to cultivate children’s cognition and talent. A completed basic education system can help to educate children in earlier time. At present, the numbers of training centers for younger generation are increasing with more concerns about developing smart children from parents and governments. Besides, it is easier for them to master certain skills than adults do. For instance, learning music instruments, people will hard to study and practice when they grow up. When I was in kindergarten, my parents registered a dancing course for me. I did not really know what was for at that time and just followed teacher to learn basic steps. With my heart and mind get matured, I have started cultivating a sense of music while studied to play piano, which made me more accessible to absorb playing piano skills and knowledge due to basic musical foundation. And my friend from the same dancing course was aware that she had special genius in dance and chose it as her major in college. Without sound（好词！！）music facilities and education environment, people like my friend could not realize that they had such capacities in specific program, and it would probably be hard for me to master piano. Experiences including mine and my friend show that children can learn something easier. Especially next generation is the future of one’s country, which is the crucial reason to encourage government to focus its budget in this area.



Furthermore, students in colleges and universities have directly contributions to their country. Young people should have opportunities to have internship to gain experience related to their academic majors. Governments need to carry out concerning programs and provide a space for students to develop themselves. In addition, budge can be used to attract more famous professors from overseas who could bring latest information and technology. That will benefit a nation’s power in different aspects such as industry and economy when students graduate.



In conclusion, governments should focus on both foundation education for children and universities for various advantages. If one country would like to be successful and to be powerful in this world, education for younger generation and for students in higher institutes cannot be separated.

翠花的行文挺NATIVE的，绝对练过135！！
我觉得文章表达各方面都挺好的了，就是第一段可以再修改下，让它更饱满些。
不好意思，水平有限，只能提出这么多意见了。

stefanie299UID: 2667762

变黑白了，我再传个WORD的

lawrencelanUID: 2173940

3.25 09.03.27

+ x3 c* [0 H3 k. ~) oTeachers should not show their political or social views known in the classroom

Teachers could cause influence on students’ view of life in some aspects, es ...
我是chineselady 发表于 2010-3-25 21:47

3.25 09.03.27
Teachers should not show their political or social views known in the classroom
Teachers could cause influence on students’ view of life in some aspects, especially to those in elementary schools. Sometimes teachers would like to express their ideas concerning society and politics in classes consciously or unconsciously. In my point of view, I believe that teachers can show their opinion(s) on these affairs based on students’ ages. The reason is that students who are younger will feel hard to understand and probably can be impacted adversely.

Students in elementary school(s) lack of cognition will be confused by teachers’ perspective(s). Teachers in such school(s) need to be careful about their speech because it may result in negative effects on students’ hearts and minds. Due to limited knowledge about this world and society, students in elementary school are encouraged to study basic academic program and meanwhile teachers should let them expose in a friendly environment. As we know that corruption exists in any government and society, which leads some young people to having an unfavorable attitude towards society. If a young teacher shows ideas according to his or her point of view, it definitely will impact on students’ thoughts by holding an adverse feeling about society when grow up. I still remembered what my teacher taught us in a history course in my elementary school, which has still marked in my mind since then. During WWT, our country experienced extreme time and as long as I read or watch the document of this period by magazine or video, it reminds of me what my teacher’s speech. It is drastically hurtful and painful. I believe that my heart would be better and more just if learn those as an adult. At that time I was a little child without independent thinking. What I trust is all from teachers. (I just didn't understand your example. What's WWT? What's your teacher's speech? Why it hurts you?)

Various perspectives on society and politics could be hot topics among students in universities. Since the majority of teachers’ ages are quiet closed(close) to college students, teachers can express their views on such controversial subjects. It will not have disadvantages influence on students because they already have their own world outlook and view of life. They also can argue around this issue(I think "issues" will be better. You did not refer to any specific issue here.) to prove whose is more impartial. Especially a young male (Just curious, why "male"?) teacher has inclination to bring about a hot political event in class just like my accounting teacher. Then during break, some students who have similar interests on this topic would like to continue their arguments over lunch or coffee. Therefore, social and political views from teacher could be brought out in university as students have independent ideas about the world.(I am not sure about this sentence.)

In sum, teachers should not be constrained to express their perspectives on these controversial topics. It depends on in what kind of school that teachers can show their views. In order to maintain a friendly world to children, I assume that it is not appropriate to talk this in elementary school but in university, it could be a fair issue to discuss.

总结：总体来说是不错的文章。

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

3.27 08.11.30
People who do not work because they get enough money are rarely happy

Happiness as one of goals people have pursued in their life. Different people obtain by various ways such as through spending time with family members and friends or working hardly. It is not reasonable to hold the view that people who have affluent environment are not happy if they do not have jobs. They may fulfill their core of hearts and happiness by other means, therefore, I do not agree with this topic.

Firstly, according to a psychological survey, people with enough money have inclination to be happy. They could achieve something easier compared with those who live under poverty line. Even those rich people do not work; it does not mean they just stay at home to kill time. For instance, I cannot say my family has strong economic foundation but we have anything we need more than other middle class families. My mother belongs to those people this topic talked, having enough money but does not work. I believe that my mother is happy due to a positive attitude toward what she has. She was a full time mother before I studied in elementary school. Later, my mother joined in the community as a volunteer in our neighborhood. Every other day, she and other housewives visited older residents who lived by themselves and helped them buy necessaries, have haircut or chat with them. My mother learnt certain experiences from those old people through talking because those were all born in last century. My mother does not have any formal job in her life but she has never been worried about family expense and my tuition, which have already offered by my father. People still could achieve happiness and having work is not the only way to be happy.

Secondly, people would be fatigue if work for additional hours to keep a decent life. Generally they will miss the opportunities to travel or have fun with friends because they are already exhausted after work. In my country, since there have been heavy dense population, job market has always been competed, which have more limitation for employees from corporations, such as constrain on holidays and welfare. Economic depression has threatened people in different way. It might be hard to achieve happiness for that group of people who do not have enough money but have to work for extra hours in order to keep better lives.

In sum, people from affluent families without professions could be happy due to happiness not only from working. Economic foundation plays a necessary role in this situation, which prevents people from being too tired.

ly8768UID: 2452066

21# 我是chineselady

lawrencelanUID: 2173940

3.27 08.11.30
People who do not work because they get enough money are rarely happy

Happiness as one of goals people have pursued in their life. Different people obtain by various ways such as th ...
我是chineselady 发表于 2010-3-28 00:23

People who do not work because they get enough money are rarely happy

Happiness as one of goals people have pursued in their life. Different people obtain by various ways such as through spending time with family members and friends or working hardly. It is not reasonable to hold the view that people who have affluent environment are not happy if they do not have jobs. They may fulfill their core of hearts and happiness by other means, therefore, I do not agree with this topic.

Firstly, according to a psychological survey, people with enough money have inclination to be happy. They could achieve something easier compared with those who live under poverty line. Even those rich people do not work; it does not mean they just stay at home to kill time. For instance, I cannot say my family has strong economic foundation but we have anything we need more than other middle class families. My mother belongs to those people this topic talked, having enough money but does not work. I believe that my mother is happy due to a positive attitude toward what she has. She was a full time mother before I studied in elementary school. Later, my mother joined in the community as a volunteer in our neighborhood. Every other day, she and other housewives visited older residents who lived by themselves and helped them buy necessaries, have haircut or chat with them. My mother learnt certain experiences from those old people through talking because those were all born in last century. My mother does not have any formal job in her life but she has never been worried about family expense and my tuition, which have already offered by my father. People still could achieve happiness and having work is not the only way to be happy.

Secondly, people would be fatigue if work for additional hours to keep a decent life. Generally they will miss the opportunities to travel or have fun with friends because they are already exhausted after work. In my country, since there have been heavy dense population, job market has always been competed, which have more limitation for employees from corporations, such as constrain on holidays and welfare. Economic depression has threatened people in different way. It might be hard to achieve happiness for that group of people who do not have enough money but have to work for extra hours in order to keep better lives.


In sum, people from affluent families without professions could be happy due to happiness not only from working. Economic foundation plays a necessary role in this situation, which prevents people from being too tired.

总结：从我的角度上来说，这篇文章没啥好改的了，论述和行文都很流畅。

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

3.28 09.2.14
To be well-informed people should get information from many different information sources

Modern society is an information era. People could get news from various aspects to be informed, such as internet, newspaper and magazine. Those medias provide information are not at the same time due to different aspects to obtain information and news. Generally, the information on internet is latest compared with others. However, varied medias would have news from distinguished perspectives, which gives people certain aspect to consider so I believe that a well-informed people should learn information from many sources.

Internet as an accessible method should be adopted to get information. At present, most corporations and people in this world have to use computer and internet access to communicate with clients or receive emails and news. Internet saves people’s time to wait for newspaper and magazine published in learning information, which assists them to get what they need in first hand. For example, when I applied for university in the States, as an international student, I have done a lot of work. Meanwhile I did not want to miss any information about application, fellowship and grants, so internet plays an essential role in getting information in this situation while I prepared my application stuff last winter. I knew the updated scholarship programs from university website so I could apply early and get ready for my materials. At that time, in order to be well-informed, I used a service to connect my cell phone to internet to check my email and get the information I needed. Besides internet, talking to the professors in the university I applied by phone calls is also significant and should be encouraged to use by other students in similar position with me. Let the professors know me is necessary because they might give me more news or information I could not check from school websites.

News and information from magazine and newspaper also are worthy learning due to from various views. A well-informed person knows that magazine or newspaper press would invite elites to have interviews about economic growth or social issues. People who have a plan to buy an apartment should collect information from different sources to know the location, material and price. And some concerning articles analysis this situation by inviting experts in this area. People can collect ideas and information from different aspects before buying an apartment, which will prevent them from following the society and the populace.

In sum, I believe that if one wants to be well-informed, varied ways of medias should be adopted to get information, because every one has its benefit. It could be hard for one to collect all information he or she needs without missing any piece of news.

chailybaiUID: 2741896

Modern society is an information era. People could get news from various aspects to be informed, such as internet, newspaper and magazine. Those medias provide information are not at the same time due to different aspects to obtain information and news.(这句话我觉得没有存在的必要啊。。后面那句就够了~) Generally, the information on internet is latest compared with others. However, varied medias would have news from distinguished perspectives, which gives people certain aspect to consider .So I believe that a well-informed people should learn information from many sources.

Internet as an accessible method should be adopted to get information. At present, most corporations and people in this world have to use computer and internet access to communicate with clients or receive emails and news. Internet saves people’s time to wait for newspaper and magazine published in learning information, which assists them to get what they need in first hand. For example, when I applied for university in the States, as an international student, I have done a lot of work. Meanwhile I did not want to miss any information about application, fellowship and grants, so internet plays an essential role in getting information in this situation while I prepared my application stuff last winter. I knew the updated scholarship programs from university website so I could apply early and get ready for my materials. At that time, in order to be well-informed, I used a service to connect my cell phone to internet to check my email and get the information I needed. Besides internet, talking to the professors in the university I applied by phone calls is also (another) significant (way of getting information) and should be encouraged to use by other students in similar position with me. Let the professors know me is necessary because they might give me more news or information I could not check from school websites.

News and information from magazine and newspaper also are worthy learning due to from various views. A well-informed person knows that magazine or newspaper press would invite elites to have interviews about economic growth or social issues. People who have a plan to buy an apartment should collect information from different sources to know the location, material and price. And some concerning articles analysis this situation by inviting experts in this area. People can collect ideas and information from different aspects before buying an apartment, which will prevent them from following the society and the populace .（结尾这里是否可以阐述一下，与internet相比，news from magazine and newspaper更好的地方，比如它虽然不够up to date, 但是more directive and intensive）

sum, I believe that if one wants to be well-informed, varied ways of medias should be adopted to get information, because every one has its benefit. It could be hard for one to collect all information he or she needs without missing any piece of news.

写的很不错啊，基本上改不出什么错了~~学习之~~

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

3.29 07.10.20
6 e' K9 w% W) j* iSome people think one's working is more important than being with one's family

The majority of people need to achieve their dreams or make money to live by having jobs. It is cannot deny that working is not significant as meal tickets, on the contrary, family is also vital for most of people, who regard it as a refuge to avoid being hurt and gain love. However, with various views from different people, work is not always more important than staying with family. I believe that it depends on what they pursue in this world.

Due to certain roles and responsibilities, males should have jobs to support families and themselves. It is like a rule existing in almost every country that guys, before get married, need to be independent enough. It may cause the situations between those who prefer to make a lot of money by working and those who would like to spend time with family members. Take the first group as an example who consider that work is more essential than family just like my uncle, an old single businessman. He believes that nothing makes him contented except work diligently, which does not provide him time to date and set up a family. My uncle has needed to travel most time around the world. And the last time I met him was last Christmas but now he is in Europe for new market. My uncle has enjoyed his busy life. One time, I learnt by talking to him that he did meet several ladies he had crash on as a young fellow. However, the company he worked for was a famous international corporation and sent him to take training in overseas. My uncle would feel regret if missed the opportunity in his life. That means he had to quit what he had here. From my uncle’s preference, I understand that he takes working as more necessary than family.

On the other hand, for some people, being with family is significant when people are stressful from working. Talking to relatives is a way to practice interpersonal relationship and reduce pressure. They could offer appropriate solutions when one was in trouble in company. Last term, I was really in trouble to get along well with my boss in my internship. As long as I got home to see my parents, it eased my heart. It is hard to imagine that without my family, how I could overcome it, especially after my father showed me an appropriate solution to deal with this problem. Meanwhile my family gives me encouragement to help me release.

In sum, based on people’s various minds and hearts, work may be more important than family but for others the fact might not be similar to this. Therefore, working is not definitely more essential than staying with family for certain people.