翠花独立作文贴

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

3.14 没限时 谢谢批改
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most people prefer having other people make decisions for them rather than making decisions by themselves。

Decision making is a common step or process that every one goes through. Other people, such as parents and teachers made decision for children who are not old enough to distinguish right from wrong. I believe that some people remembered that parents decided what kind of clothes they needed to be in for specific situations or which elementary schools they should take in, public or private one? Since children grow up to young men who have their own thoughts, make decision by themselves is a sigh of being independence in my point of view, as no one could know more than him or herself.

Young people should make up their minds for futures and dreams. Although friends and teachers could provide proper suggestions when one faces dilemma, it is him or her who understand what they will do in their future life. For instance, I put myself in a difficult position before graduating from high school while chose a program to get involved in for my college. At that time, I received a couple of advices from my parents and teacher. Due to being good at math, my teacher suggested me to major in finance or accounting, which will equip me financial knowledge for working in a favorable job position such as in bank. It may be an admirable profession for female staff from my teacher’s opinion. My parents, however, preferred me to study in medical school since could be a doctor after graduation. It seems that parents in great number believe doctor can benefit one family from different aspects, especially when parents get older. Both finance and medicine are attractive majors and students with such knowledge will not face difficulties to find jobs. However, I have to follow my heart and my dream to choose what I should study. People in this world including my parents and teachers will not spend whole life with me, consequently, an appropriate work is significant because it is hard for me to have a good mood if work in a position I do not have favor to. Therefore, I chose business management as the field I study for in my university. I made a plan to run my own company in several years after graduation as making money for myself could satisfy my heart.

On the contrary, no one could deny the suggestions from people around us. Sometimes, they take into account seriously with more experiences. Parents or friends who are older than us have mature ideas when consider practical issues, and they probably have insight solutions. What people need to do is to adopt essence part and analysis their suggestions, which could provide valuable condition to make a good decision. Learning something from others’ advices instead of rejecting totally also produces better decision for oneself. Even if they might not understand our minds or plans, various views can be different information that helps us to make decision after consideration.

From what have been discussed above, decision making by oneself should be encouraged since no one could deeply understand him or herself inners. Suggestions from others, nevertheless, can be used in beneficial way rather than turning a blind eye completely. And I still believe that it is person oneself who should make decision for life.

tqidtestUID: 2766196

Decisionmaking is a common (step or) process that every one goes through. Otherpeople, such as parents and teachers made decision for children who arenot old enough to distinguish right from wrong. I believe that somepeople remembered that parents decided what kind of clothes they neededto be indress for specific situations or which elementary schools theyshould take in, public or private one（?）. Since children grow up to youngmen who have their own thoughts, make(没有主语，making) decisions by themselves is a (sigh) signof being independence (independent) in my point of view, (as) no one could know oneself morethan (him or herself) others.（观点陈述的不够明确，直接说我认为自己做决定更好）（我觉得这个这个题目观点有点儿问题。还需待讨论，不知道你这么写有没有问题 ）  v" i9 F8 C2 V8 {

$ ?) \4 \4 Z* E* ZYoungpeople should make up(编造的意思) their minds for future and dreams +by themselves. Althoughfriends and teachers could provide proper suggestions +that people need when facingdilemma, it is him or her who that？强调句用that 否则就变成定语从句了 understand what they will do in theirfuture （life）. For instance, I put myself in a difficult position beforegraduating from high school while chose a program to get involved infor my college. At that time, I received a couple of advices from myparents and teacher. Due to being good at math, my teacher（这里有个严重的问题，时刻注意主语和谓语要一致） suggested meto choose  finance or accounting major, which will equip me financialknowledge for working in a favorable job position such as in bank. Itmay be an admirable profession （occupation怎样？） for female staff///a girl from my teacher’sopinion. My parents, however, preferred me to study in medical schoolsince I could be a doctor after graduation. It seems that most parents /ingreat number/ believe doctor can benefit one family from differentaspects, /especially when parents get older.删// Both finance and medicineare attractive majors and students with such knowledge will not facedifficulties to find jobs. However, I have to follow my heart and mydream to choose what I should study. People in this world including myparents and teachers will not spend whole life with me, consequently,an appropriate work is significant because it is hard for me to have agood mood if work in a position I do not have favor to. Therefore, Ichose business management as the field I study for in my university. Imade a plan to run my own company in several years after graduation asmaking money for/by？ myself could satisfy my heart.* ?2 o2 F' `' Q! N: G
1 X0 B# l1 v8 Y( c
Onthe contrary, no one could deny the suggestions from people around us.Sometimes, they take into account seriously with more experiences.Parents or friends who are older than us have mature ideas whenconsider practical issues, and they probably have insight solutions.What people need to do is to adopt essencial part and analysis theirsuggestions, which could provide valuable condition to make a gooddecision. Learning something from others’ advices instead of rejectingtotally also produces better decision for oneself. Even if they mightnot understand our minds or plans, various views can be differentinformation that helps us to make decision after consideration（体贴，细心）.(吸取建议并不妨碍自己做决定啊，即便是所有建议都采纳，也不代表不能自己做决定，所以论证角度有偏差，也不够清晰)3 q, i: _2 Z& H/ p& E% x" y
5 L- p( x( Z* O. \, d
Fromwhat have been discussed above, decision making by oneself should beencouraged since no one could deeply understand him or herself inners.Suggestions from others, nevertheless, can be used in beneficial wayrather than turning a blind eye completely. And I still believe that itis person oneself who should make decision for life.

对题目的理解有问题。。。Most people prefer having other people make decisions for them rather than making decisions by themselves。题目的关键字是 making decision 。。而不是adopting suggestion。。也不是following one's heart。。。。即便我做了一个不符合我心意的决定，让我不开心的决定，也是我所做的决定。而不是别人给我做的。。。。。。第二个建议是，对于词汇的意思一定要把握准确，不能乱用。例如consideration，make up 否则老外会看不懂你说什么。就说这么多吧，加油。。多背背单词，列列提纲会对你有很大帮助的，不一定要每篇文章都写全。试着先练习写一小段论述，之阐述一个角度，但一定要清晰准确。

dphenixyUID: 2657199

Decision making is a common step or process that every one（everyone） goes through. Other（some） people, such as parents and teachers made decision for children who are not old enough（too young） to distinguish right from wrong. I believe that some people remembered that（可以去掉） parents decided what kind of clothes they needed to be in for specific situations or which elementary schools they should take in, public or private one? Since children grow up to young men who have their own thoughts, make decision by themselves is a sigh of being independence in my point of view（可以去掉）（在叙述一个事件之类的东西的时候，突然加一个I believe， in my point of view，有点突兀）, as no one could know more than him or herself.（感觉这些比较具体的东西最好放在下面的段落里，开头直截了当说明观点比较好）
Young people should make up their minds（这里应该是对的吧） for futures and dreams. Although friends and teachers could provide proper suggestions when one faces dilemma, it is him or her who understand what they
（不知道能不能这么用，我对这个一直很纠结，不过强调句式用的很好）will do in their future life. For instance, I put myself in a difficult position before graduating from high school while （这里主语不能省略吧，或者直接用choosing）chose a program to get involved in for my college. At that time, I received a couple of advices from my parents and teacher. Due to being good at math, my teacher suggested me to major in finance or accounting, which will equip me financial knowledge for working in a favorable job position such as in bank. It may be an admirable profession for female staff from my teacher’s opinion. My parents, however, preferred me to study in medical school since could be a doctor after graduation. It seems that parents in great number believe doctor can benefit one family from different aspects, especially when parents get older. Both finance and medicine are attractive majors and students with such knowledge will not face difficulties(直接说容易就行了) to find jobs. However, I have to follow my heart and my dream to choose what I should study. People in this world including my parents and teachers will not spend whole life with me（说的过于绝对了，相伴一生的人还是可以有的吧^_^）, consequently（这里应该要另起一句，consequently是副词不是连词，不能当so来用）, an appropriate work is significant because it is hard for me to have a good mood if （主语）work in a position I do not have favor to. Therefore, I chose business management as the field I study for in my university. I made a plan to run my own company in several years after graduation as making money for myself could satisfy my heart.（这段的表达还应该更简练一点）

On the contrary, no one could deny the suggestions （否认的应该是建议的价值之类的东西，而不是建议本身）from people around us. Sometimes, they take
（感觉缺个东西）into account seriously with more experiences. Parents or friends who are older than us have mature ideas when （主语）consider practical issues, and they probably have insight solutions. What people need to do is to adopt essence part and analysis their suggestions, which could provide valuable condition to make a good decision. Learning something from others’ advices instead of rejecting totally also produces better decision for oneself. Even if they might not understand our minds or plans, various views can be different information that helps us to make decision after consideration.) v% ]9 c% s4 n" S- m7 q" A
2 L, A2 r  n3 S- z) J( O1 y' D( c
From what have been discussed above, decision making by oneself should be encouraged since no one could deeply understand him or herself inners. Suggestions from others, nevertheless, can be used in beneficial way rather than turning a blind eye completely. And I still believe that it is person oneself who should make decision for life.（这段不错，概括的很好）
首先，我觉得翠花这篇应该是跑题了（别打我o(╯□╰)o），题目问的是：是不是大多人喜欢让别人为自己做决定~~,而不是问：人们应不应该让别人为自己做决定。
具体内容我就在tqidtest的基础上按你的意思继续改了，感觉翠花虽然掌握一些好的句式和表达，但语法的基本功还有些欠缺，多看看一些语法知识，应该会提高很多。

颜色又不能显示了，只好发附件了~~

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Telephones have had more positive effects on human kind than televisions

Since telephone has been invented in last century, it exerts favorable impact on people’s life. However, television, as one of significant facilities in modern society also affects people in various aspects. I believe that both television and telephone are indispensable and have influence on humans. It is not easy to distinguish which one has greater contribution, therefore I do not agree with the view that telephone has more positive effects.

Telephone reduces the distance between people in some cases. Presently, globalization is one of main characters around world and it is accessible to fly to the other country to travel or to study. Telephone, comparing with other facilities such as mail and telegraph makes it easier to communicate with friends and family members in far areas. Parents will not spend such a long time to wait for greetings and news from descendents who live in other cities. For instance, my boyfriend works in another city but we talk almost every day by telephone, which plays an active role in keeping our relationship. We had to communicate by mails without phone calls and it will be extremely hard to enhance our feelings. In addition, telephone message could be used in some inconvenient situations such as library and hospital, where phone is used limited. Message will not interrupt others when they study and have a rest.

However, it cannot deny the benefit that television has brought. Television as one of main entertainments and the way people learn news from, also has its merits. Watching television program like talk show with family members or a comedy with friends on weekends is a wonderful life style to relax. Besides, television is an accessible way for people to learn the latest news. Nowadays, television is set up in many public buses and even if in busy morning time, people still can know what happen in this world, which provides a space to learn information anywhere.

It is hard to draw the conclusion that influence of telephone on people outweighs television because both contribute essential roles in various points in humans’ life; consequently I tend to hold the view that telephone and television impact on people by dissimilar degree.

葛岭泉UID: 2767397

Since telephone has been invented in lastcentury（这句最好改成since the invention of telephone in last century,你这种写法个人感觉容易把since的意思理解成‘因为’）, it exerts favorable impact on people’s life. However, television,as one of significant facilities in modern society also affects people invarious aspects. I believe that both television and telephone are indispensableand have influence on humans.（这句和it exerts favorableimpact on people’s life.有点重复） It is not easy to distinguish which one has greater contribution,therefore I do not agree with the view that telephone has more positiveeffects.

Telephone reduces the distance betweenpeople in some cases. Presently, globalization is one of （+the）main characters aroundworld and it is accessible to(even when you)fly to the other country to travel or to study. Telephone, comparing(compared)with other facilities such as mail and telegraph(这里应该加个“，”吧) makes it easier to communicate withfriends and family members in far （+away） areas. Parents will notspend such a long time to wait for greetings and news from descendents（descendents这样用太正式了，用children更好）
who live in other cities. Forinstance, my boyfriend works in another city but we talk almost every day bytelephone, which plays an active role in keeping our relationship. We had tocommunicate by mails without phone calls and it will be extremely hard toenhance our feelings. In addition, telephone message could be used in someinconvenient situations such as library and hospital, where phone is used limited（usage is limited）. Message will notinterrupt others when they study and have a rest.

However, it(we)cannot deny the benefit that television has brought. Television as one of mainentertainments and the way(source) people learnnews from, also has its merits. Watching television program like talk show withfamily members or a comedy with friends on weekends is a wonderful life styleto relax. Besides, television is an accessible way for people to learn thelatest news. Nowadays, television is set up in many public buses and even if(if去掉) in busy morning time,people still can know what happen（is happening） in this world, whichprovides a space to learn information anywhere.

It is hard to draw the conclusion thatinfluence of telephone on people outweighs television because both contributeessential roles(contribute roles的搭配不好，可将contribute改成play) in various points in humans’ life; consequently I tend to hold theview that telephone and television impact on（这里impact做动词，on是否应该去掉？） people bydissimilar（按照你的观点，不是应该是similar么？） degree.




例子用的都挺恰当的，条理也很清楚，读下来思路很顺，有些地方用词可能还要查证推敲下，我也不大确定，我感觉有些我不确定的用法，尽量还是用些保守但保证正确的词汇^_^

speedzshawUID: 2556376

3.15 修改 by speedzshaw

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

University students should be required to take basic science classes even if they are not part of the field of the study

The majority of students in university or college choose academic programs according to their dreams and hobbies. As adults, they are mature enough to make plans for their futures. It leads me to believe that students should focus on main courses due to not all students preferring to study science even as minor subjects. So I do not agree with the idea that students in universities are required to take basic science classes.

Students in specific majors need more time to complete school assignments. Basic science classes definitely could occupy their time to take or have discussion with others students. It will bring pressure and cause some dire consequences in some cases. For instance, I spend most of my time in doing my research concerning market, which keeps me going out and following a dairy product in every big shopping mall. That research is what I should finish this term as a business major student. In addition, I made a decision to work in sales department of one company after graduation and science course, might not benefit me in future situation, so it is unreasonable for me to take time to learn it. If that policy, require students to take science class was in my university, I extremely would be low efficient in my main program study. Consequently, it will not bring me advantage in academic life and will impact my spare time as I have to do homework from basic science classes. In terms of this, my classmates who are in similar situations with me will not consider this requirement is wise. If most students skip science lessons, then it means that university wastes expense and energy in preparing this subject.

Science course may discourage some students who have no talent or interest in this area. As we know that individuals with various geniuses should have more development in the area they are favored with and then could get better achievement. Students who have strong capacity in music will be more confident when are appreciated in music performance, such as piano playing. They probably would be discouraged and frustrated at the mere of studying science subject. It may not be hard to understand for some students, but not for all. Students in university and college are ready for their future jobs and the life they pursue. I assume that they understand their wisdom and competence. Basic science studying could cause them low spirited and depressed because it does not cater their ability and mind but have to confront. In order to enable students to be self-believing, university should not set a rule to require students who are from other majors to take science class.

In conclusion, it is not a favorable method to ask students in university to study science as it will not play positive role in their life on campus. What the students do is to focus on main program based on their capacity and interest.

水谣碧玺UID: 2765062

University students should be required to take basic science classes even if they are not part of the field of the study

The majority of students in university or college choose academic programs according to their dreams and hobbies. As adults, they are mature enough to make plans for their futures. It leads me to believe that students should focus on main courses due to not all students preferring to study science even as minor subjects. So I do not agree with the idea that students in universities are required to take basic science classes.


Students in specific majors need more time to complete school assignments. Basic science classes definitely could occupy their time to take or have discussion with other（s） students. It will bring pressure and cause some dire consequences in some cases(论点一). For instance, I spend most of my time in doing my research concerning market, which keeps me going out and following a dairy product in every big shopping mall. That research is what I should finish this term as a business major student. In addition, I made a decision to work in sales department of one company after graduation and science courses, that might not benefit me in future situation, so it is unreasonable for me to take time to learn it. If that policy (, ) （if后面可以直接加名词吗，你是不是多打了个逗号。）requires students to take science classes was in my university, I extremely would be low efficient in my main program study. Consequently, it will not bring me advantages in academic life and will impact my spare time as I have to do homework from basic science classes. In terms of this, my classmates who are in similar situations with me will not consider this requirement is wise. If most students skip science lessons, then it means that university wastes expense and energy in preparing this subject.这个说浪费很多钱和精力，是产生不好的后果之一。最好点一下开头的论点吧。

Science courses may discourage some students who have no talent or interest in this area（论点二）. As we know that individuals with various geniuses should have more development in the area they are favored with and then could get better achievement. Students who have strong capacity in music will be more confident when are appreciated in music performance, such as piano playing. They probably would be discouraged and frustrated at the mere of studying science subject. It may not be hard to understand for some students, but not for all. Students in university and college are ready for their future jobs and the life they pursue. I assume that they understand their wisdom and competence. Basic science studying could cause them low spirited and depressed because it does not cater their ability and mind but have to confront. In order to enable students to be self-believing, university should not set a rule to require students who are from other majors to take science classes. 这个点题了。
In conclusion, it is not a favorable method to ask students in university to study science as it will not play positive role in their life on campus. What the students do is to focus on main program based on their capacity and interest

思路很清晰，我看很流畅：））有些词句都很好，学习了。有些单复数再注意一下。
水平有限，看了近一个小时，看不出别的问题了。LZ很棒，继续加油！我向你学习！！

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

3.22 （08.10.27NA
Government should pay more attention to health care issues than on environment issues

It is hard to say that healthy care or environmental issue is more essential than one the other. Healthy care, as one of welfare benefits should be taken especially in developing countries. With the ever increasingly rising fees in hospital, it will be more difficult for people to afford it without assistance of healthy care. Environment problem, however, is becoming a global issue due to influence on the earth. Hence, I tend to hold the view that both health care and environment problem should be concerned by government.

The number of people who suffered from diseases will enhance if lack of health aid. Along with advanced facilities in modern hospital, it is more efficient for doctors to check or cure diseases. It definitely costs a big sum of money to complete no matter in which country. For instance, a brain surgeon will cause a middle class family bankrupt, which produces such consequence that people with serious disease do not have desire to go to see the doctor owning to high expense. One of my friends’ experiences really shocked me at the mere of hearing it. Her mother got breast cancer and needed to have operation. Even after that she had to lie down bed to keep from doing any laborious work. At that time my friend was in high school, which meant her family only depended on her father’s income. Health care did play a significant role in her family when my friend’s mother was in hospital. It reduces economic burden and also helps to save some money for my friend to go to university. Without health insurance or other concerning benefits, my friend and her mother would confront danger of losing opportunity to be educated in higher institute and her mother would die probably.

Meanwhile, environmental issue should not be blinded. Government from every country has to face it because environment problem has become a global concern. Take green house effect as an example. Green house effect leads to warm temperature in the world, which results in some kind of species extinct and coastal areas are in danger of being drown. In my country, winter is not as cold as several decades ago and warm weather directly impacts winter wheat here. Therefore, people make a decision to plan winter wheat in lab by artificial way. It may bring food in some cases, on the contrast, genes of crop could mutate under synthetic development, and such kind of food is still being questioned by people like scientists and medias.

In conclusion, medical care and environmental issue have distinct functions in one country even the whole world. And government cannot focus on one aspect and ignore the other. Both should be carried out in order to keep a healthy life and a wonderful world for humans.s

ly8768UID: 2452066

9# 我是chineselady
我直接给你word文档吧～

crazyluUID: 2628382

额，由于在某段时间里混乱的分组，我学习了一下翠花姐的大作
不知翠花姐能否光临下寒舍指导一下我的这篇文章https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1075143&extra=

zhisnoopyUID: 2703722

It is hard to say that healthy care or environmental issue is more essential than one the other. Healthy care, as one of welfare benefits should be taken especially in developing countries. With the ever increasingly rising fees in hospital, it will be more difficult for people to afford it（可以去掉这个it吧。） without assistance of healthy care. Environment problem, however, is becoming a global issue due to influence on the earth. Hence, I tend to hold the view that both health care and environment problem should be concerned by government., Y* N/ {5 ~" v7 G' w
0 z' R( [5 L1 R( l8 u& J6 n) m5 ?

The number of people who suffered from diseases will enhance if lack of health aid. Along with advanced facilities in modern hospital, it is more efficient for doctors to check or cure diseases. It definitely costs a big sum of money to complete no matter in which country. For instance, a brain surgeon will cause a middle class family bankrupt, which produces such consequence that people with serious disease do not have desire to go to see the doctor owning to（due to会不会比own to更贴切些？） high expense. One of my friends’ experiences really shocked me at the mere of hearing it. Her mother got breast cancer and needed to have operation. Even after that she had to lie down bed to keep from doing any laborious work. At that time my friend was in high school, which meant her family only depended on her father’s income. Health care did play a significant role in her family when my friend’s mother was in hospital. It（it离前面一个被指代的主语有点远了，不用代词我觉得会更清楚点哦） reduces economic burden and also helps to save some money for my friend to go to university. Without health insurance or other concerning benefits, my friend and her mother would confront danger of losing opportunity to be educated in higher institute（我理解这句的主语是：my friend and her mother，而后面to be educated in higher institute只是friend，所以主语里的mother可以去掉，放在and后面那句就可以了。） and her mother would die probably.0 A3 X2 ?' C4 }8 v5 }  p1 h$ j
, q2 o- P# j; E, m

Meanwhile, environmental issue should not be blinded. Government from every country has to face it because environment problem has become a global concern. Take green house effect as an example. Green house effect leads to warm temperature（个人觉得换成temperature increasing会好点） in the world, which results in some kind of species extinct（results in后面要接名词或者动名词哦，所以species' extinction会更好哦。） and coastal areas are in danger of being drown. In my country, winter is not as cold as several decades ago and warm weather directly impacts（affect会不会比impact更好？） winter wheat here. Therefore, people make a decision to plan（是不是plant？） winter wheat in lab by artificial way. It may bring food in some cases, on the contrast, genes of crop could mutate under synthetic development, and such kind of food is still being questioned by people like scientists and medias.

In conclusion, medical care and environmental issue have distinct functions in one country even the whole world. And government cannot focus on one aspect and ignore the other. Both should be carried out in order to keep a healthy life and a wonderful world for humans.

语法比我好多了，我没能改出啥来，然后思路清晰，例子贴切，挺好的哦~~~~

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

3.23 09.01.23
Young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term

The majority of people would like to choose their careers based on their interests or specialties. But most time youth will take a job different from what they majored in university after graduation. It is hard to make a decision concerning long term job before better understand themselves including hearts and minds. In my point of view, I hold the idea that young people should try various jobs because that is an effective way for them to know themselves, which could assist them to have plan for long term career in the future.

Youth will get mature and development in many aspects such as view of world and life by working in different job positions. I wished to be a model while I was a kid. I believed that it was a brilliant occupation for females, always in fashionable clothes and admired by a group of boyfriends. At that time, I thought it was my life-time careers as a famous model. I made efforts for my model dream in my middle school by participating in a training center, where offered course and knowledge for teenagers to be models. I learnt some basic skills and had practices every weekend. I did not realize being model was not what I want to involve until confront the reality about this job. As a middle school student, wearing in high shoes is not a healthy way to grow up, but I had to do in any training class, especially I exposed some kind of porn environment to get an audition, which firmly made me believe that keeping away from this circle was a wise choice. From then on, the truth leaded me to aware that it is not what I would like to face in my future. Besides this experience, I took a couple of part time jobs in my high school and college such as English teacher for children and clerk in a lawyer’s office. With more practices in society, I have started believing that being a teacher should be my long time job since have inclination to communicate and play with children.

It will be hard for one to understand him or herself under the same environment. If people spend most life on one job, they would miss the opportunities to better know this world and their talents because working in varied positions could lead them to realize their capacities. People from my parents’ generation fixed on one job due to different environment and history. Probably they may find others areas they could complete more appropriately if having distinct working experience. In order to get a job one likes as long time career, trying different jobs should be encouraged among young people.

In sum, I assume that various job positions will bring special experience in work and in life. It can provide people space to understand this world and themselves, then to make up their minds about which career should be long term.

馋MEUID: 2761685

The majority of people would like to choose(pursue更合适吧) their careers based on their interests or specialties. But most (of the )time youth will take a job different from what they majored in university after graduation. It is hard to make a decision concerning long term job before better understand themselves including hearts and minds(理智 与情感？)[/color]. In my point of view, I hold the idea that young people should try various jobs because that is an effective way for them（去掉吧，有些重复） to know themselves, which could assist them to have（make) plan for long term career in the future.

Youth will get mature and development(这个并列句怎么能用n呢) in many aspects such as views of world (貌似没这个用法)and life by working in different job positions. I wished to be a model while I was a kid. I believed that it was a brilliant occupation for females, always （dressed）in fashionable clothes and admired by a group of boyfriends. At that time, I thought it was my life-time careers as a famous model. I made efforts for my model dream (有点奇怪)in my middle school by participating in a training center, where offered course and knowledge for teenagers to be models. I learnt some basic skills and had practices every weekend. I did not realize （要用过去完成时 had not realized）being model was not what I want to involve until confront the reality about this job. As a middle school student, wearing in high shoes (highheels)is not a healthy way to grow up(is unhealthy to my physical development  ), but I had to do (so)in any(any要去掉吧) training classes, especially I exposed some kind of porn environment to get an audition,（这是什么意思） which firmly made me believe that keeping（keep） away from this circle was a wise choice. From then on, the truth leaded me to aware（realize） that it is not what I would like to face（engage） in my future. Besides this experience,（去掉） I took a couple of part-time jobs in my high school and colleges such as English teacher for children and clerk in a lawyer’s office. With more practices in society, I have started believing that being a teacher should be my long time job(lifelong career I wish to pursue) since I have inclination to communicate and play with children.

It will be hard for one to understand him or herself under the same environment. If people spend most life on one job, they would miss the opportunities to better know this world and  their talents(develop their potential) because working in varied positions could lead them to realize their capacities(capabilities). People from my parents’ generation fixed on one job (没这个用法吧)due to different environment and history. Probably they may find others areas they could complete more appropriately（they are likely to find other fields where they could utmost their potential and achieive higher） if having(have) distinct working experience. In order to get a job one likes as long time career, trying different jobs should be encouraged among young people.

In sum, I assume that various job positions will bring special experience in work and in life. It can provide people space (好奇怪)to understand this world and themselves, then to make up their minds about which career should be a  long term one.

觉得第一个轮点跟例子有点不搭啊，整体还是不错的，注意一些词的用法，加油吧

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

3.24 09.01.10
Do you agree or disagree that improving schools is the most factor in successful development of country.

Every country would like to achieve a better living condition for its citizens and strengthen its national power. There are several aspects need considering including developing schools, which leads me to believe that improvement of school is not the most factor in development of country. It must have other elements to be regarded for one nation to complete success.

School as a cradle for people to get education plays an essential role in one country but not the whole. The reason is that education, being a life time process, could not be ignored by any nation. In fact, school system reflects one country’s economic growth in some cases. For example, the States as one of developed nations with hundreds of famous universities has attracted talents from all over the world since WWT. It is inevitably to show that advanced education can be one of factors to assist the United States to be a powerful country. There must be, however, other reasons to explain the international position of US around the world, such as appropriate geographical situation by facing Pacific Ocean and Atlantic Ocean, opened economic policy with private oriented companies. The success of one country cannot limit within education and school only. Let us take another example of India. India is renowned for its computer science program and software. Students could be employed in some developed countries or corporations after graduation from university in India. But why India is still a developing country even if it has strong software industry? With heavy population, problem of agriculture and traditions and religion, it really takes time for India to get developed. Hence, there are several conditions for one country to achieve success not only the school facilities.

With the advert of globalization, going abroad is not constrained due to accessible transportation and available polities. Young people after studying in other country as overseas students could bring back advanced technology and information to their hometowns. Presently younger generation such as high school or middle school students in my country apply for university in US. It does not a big deal that the higher institutes of my country are not as advanced as those in developed countries, but with more excellent students come back along with latest science technology, it will benefit our country and lead to success in various ways.

In sum, school could help a nation if it has modern facilities and education, but it is not the only condition for one country to become developed. Other conditions should be included in achieving prosperousness and success.