欢迎拍文~【Big Fish】3月15日Issue28-By 隐雾

隐雾UID: 2776185

It is true that students should acquire little if they merely learnt facts. As a result, students are supposed to memorize facts by studying the ideas, trends, and concepts. To learn facts well, concepts provide the essential part about what facts are; trends guide students to step into the exact field to learn how facts develop; ideas present the outstanding points on these facts and tell students how to glitter with talent. Despite that time goes by, facts stay in their era without a foresight. Students who live in the continuously advanced world are expected to master facts together with their concept, trend and idea.

It was alright to facts themselves only. But that was no problem for past while totally impossible for nowadays. Facts are what have already happened, what always exists and what we discover on earth. In the past-about the 19th century, science wasn't that complex, literature wasn't so abundant and the whole world stayed still for several years with slow development. So people then memorized facts and put them to use. They were able to live and work well with those facts only. But in last century, the world accelerated its speed and each field went forward fast. Those who learnt merely facts couldn't adjust to society. Thus, now if students learn facts without studying concept, trend and idea, they are limited in certain field and are sure to fall behind the world requirement.
It is the combination of concept and trend that can help students to get to know what facts actually mean. And to study and come up with their own ideas is the advanced way to put the facts they've learnt to use and even make progress for the exact field.

Take chemistry as an example, facts are the phenomenon students observe and classical theories on books. Students who memorize theories and repeat doing those famous experiments should become theorists if only they had a particularly good understanding of those facts. However, others, the most students, should study concepts of the facts-chemical theories-and the trend-potential development in chemical science. Through both, students get to know fundamental knowledge and how other fields of science and chemistry interact. Hence, chemistry is a living subject instead of an old one. And facts that have happened from ancient times till now are known well for both basis and development. Besides, to make the best of facts students have learnt, they should study the idea as well. Since the outstanding work results from ideas of the individuals, ideas were like beacons that directed them to a high chemistry level where they preferred to reach. Through those ideas, students could be enlightened in certain field explorations and go further. All in all, studying concepts, trends and ideas is an effective way to learn facts.

However, if concepts, trends and ideas are not combined in facts learning, students can't keep pace with the world. As we all know, students aim to take advantage of what they've acquired ever and bring the field they belong to or even the whole world to a bright future. Whereas, facts are facts. Having not known the trends of things, students cannot put rules they've memorized to practical use now and in the future; having not learnt ideas of things, they fail to come up with useful solutions when faced with problems different from facts on books.

For instance, if students are asked to protect a river, they should first study how the circumstance of river is and what have ever done to protect it as the task in terms of concept of 'protection'. Then they should discover what might pollute the river and what measures they plan to take to learn its trend. Finally, they could search for similar projects others have done as references, and devise a particular scheme for the exact project when they are approaching to ideas to solve problems.

To conclude, concepts tell students what facts are; trends tell students how facts develop; ideas guide students to promote what they've learnt and themselves in the field. Students should memorize, understand and put to use facts only after they have studied the most relevant ideas, trends and concepts.

edwardlzkUID: 2676637

It is true that students should (may) acquire little if they merely learnt facts. As a result, students are supposed to memorize facts by studying the ideas, trends, and concepts. To learn facts well, concepts provide the essential part about what facts are; trends guide students to step into the exact field to learn how facts develop; ideas present the outstanding points on these facts and tell students how to glitter with talent. Despite that time goes by, facts stay in their era without a foresight. Students who live in the continuously advanced world are expected to master facts together with their concept, trend and idea.
有一些语法错误，我没有仔细看，但是这些文字作为首段是不太合适的，第一段称述现象，然后列出Speaker的思想，然后亮出你的观点，越明确越好~

It was alright to facts themselves only(这是主题句么？我貌似没理解啥意思). But that was no problem for past while totally impossible for nowadays. Facts are what have already happened, what always exists and what we discover on earth. In the past-about the 19th century, science wasn't that complex, literature wasn't so abundant and the whole world stayed still for several years with slow development. So people then memorized facts and put them to use. They were able to live and work well with those facts only. But in last century, the world accelerated its speed and each field went forward fast. Those who learnt merely facts couldn't adjust to society. Thus, now if students learn facts without studying concept, trend and idea, they are limited in certain field and are sure to fall behind the world requirement.
It is the combination of concept and trend that can help students to get to know what facts actually mean. And to study and come up with their own ideas is the advanced way to put the facts they've learnt to use and even make progress for the exact field.
这一段我理解应该是讲fact是很重要的，感觉论证不是非常充分，具体什么毛病倒也说不上来，是否多一些论据？

Take chemistry as an example, facts are the phenomenon students observe and classical theories on books. Students who memorize theories and repeat doing those famous experiments should become theorists if only they had a particularly good understanding of those facts. However, others, the most students, should study concepts of the facts-chemical theories-and the trend-potential development in chemical science. Through both, students get to know fundamental knowledge and how other fields of science and chemistry interact. Hence, chemistry is a living subject instead of an old one. And facts that have happened from ancient times till now are known well for both basis and development. Besides, to make the best of facts students have learnt, they should study the idea as well. Since the outstanding work results from ideas of the individuals, ideas were like beacons that directed them to a high chemistry level where they preferred to reach. Through those ideas, students could be enlightened in certain field explorations and go further. All in all, studying concepts, trends and ideas is an effective way to learn facts.
这段中心句最好开头就写出

However, if concepts, trends and ideas are not combined in facts learning, students can't keep in pace with the world. As we all know, students aim to take advantage of what they've(正式文章貌似缩写不太好) acquired ever and bring the field they belong to or even the whole world to a bright future. Whereas, facts are facts. Having not known the trends of things, students cannot put rules they've memorized to practical use now and in the future; having not learnt ideas of things, they fail to come up with useful solutions when faced with problems different from facts on books.

For instance, if students are asked to protect a river, they should first study how the circumstance of river is and what have ever done to protect it as the task in terms of concept of 'protection'. Then they should discover what might pollute the river and what measures they plan to take to learn its trend. Finally, they could search for similar projects others have done as references, and devise a particular scheme for the exact project when they are approaching to ideas to solve problems.

To conclude, concepts tell students what facts are; trends tell students how facts develop; ideas guide students to promote what they've learnt and themselves in the field. Students should memorize, understand and put to use facts only after they have studied the most relevant ideas, trends and concepts.

我看下来有这么几个不足的地方：1.看得出来你在努力使用高级词汇和长难句，但是这个前提是尽量少的语法错误，太多语法错误会给阅卷老师很不好的映像，甚至影响理解。2.尽量使用实体的例子，比如历史事件、名人名言等等增强说服力。3.每一段的分论点要尽量突出，我读下来找论点不是很容易，就有点失去了阅读的兴趣，我想ETS那帮禽兽在读了一天文章以后也是和我一样的感觉吧。加油加油，还有半个多月，祝你遇见双高频！