独立作文:It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built

heruofanUID: 2756767

题目:It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan?


A huge restaurant would be constructed in someplace just not so far from my house. As we know, the building which would be stayed here may bring the neighborhood some considerations about both the benefits they get and the troubles the new big friend makes. The problem that comparing the adventages of both sides is always debated by people because it may affect everybody in their daily life. Before rendering my opinion with the choice, I think we should take a glance at the arguments of both sides so that we could finally make a comprehensive conclusion.

Most people may prefer to choose supporting building a restaurant nearby because of the obvious reasons that it brings them more conveniences such as getting a dinner as not far from house so that they could get a good opportunity to know each other better and that thay could save time on cooking and spend more time on relaxing after work. Although with a restaurant near by does have its seemingly profound advantages, at the meantime there lies intrinsic harmful characteristics in it. What I would expound next is only a few about the drawbacks that being unconsciously but really significant for us.

The main reason to disgree with the construction of the restaurant is that it could also give people the health problem when bring them some so-called convenience. In order to see this point clearly, there is an appropriate example that is very persuasive. Building up a restaurant may lead the environment circumambient being contaminated, that would cause the residenter nearby getting some terrible chronic diseases by drinking the water which may contains the dust from the restaurant and sucking in the air compounded with the smog which from the kitchen. Whats more, the noice which until midnight from the restaurant can also make people not fitness by the disturbance of regular sleep.

Health problem is only a part of the disadvantages, and another equally significant role to opposite choosing the construction is that will bring community security problem. For instance, the resaurant which attracts people from all places of the city even the whole country may also bring some thieves or robbers. All of them make it complex to hand over the community security. The crime rate of the community would raise up rapidly in the short interval after the building set up and the people live around may not stay here peaceful, that even could make them find someplace else to keep safety.

Finally, as a proverb says, “Every medal has two sides”. Although I admit that there are a couple of advantages of sustaining the restaurant built, I still remain the opinion that I disagree with accepting a restaurant building nearby for the disadvantages of it are more obvious. If all the fectors above are considered, we’ll find out that the benefits of NOT accepting the restaurant constructed nearby outweigh those of accepting it. Therefore from what we have discussed, we may safely come to the conclusion that disagreement of the building is a rather wise decision. People can also get something good from not preventing the construction, but no one can ignore the big troubles the building would make. Such choice will definitely be helpful in people’s later life.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

A huge restaurant would be constructed in someplace just not so far from my house. As we know, the building which would be stayed (You can't 'stay' a building, but you can 'construct' one.) here may bring the neighborhood some considerations about both the benefits they get and the troubles the new big friend (I understand you're trying to use a metaphor, but no, we don't consider buildings as 'friends' in general.) makes. The problem that comparing the advantages of both sides (According to your previous sentence, there's no 'advantages of BOTH sides'. There's only benefits vs. troubles. This is why a template will likely end up exposing your lack of langauge command rather than helping you - you'll write self-contradictory things because you have no idea what each sentence in the template is talking about, or whether the template fits with what you're trying to express.) is always debated by people because it may affect everybody in their daily life. Before rendering my opinion with the choice, I think we should take a glance at the arguments of both sides so that we could finally make a comprehensive conclusion. (The question is asking you very clearly whether you support or oppose the plan. It doesn't need you to be so 'comprehensive' and elaborate without answering the actual question at all. The question asks for your PERSONAL OPINION. You don't need to be politically correct, but you need to say what YOUR OPINION is, right here, at the beginning.)

Most people may prefer to choose (Repetition.) supporting building a restaurant nearby because of the obvious reasons that it brings them more conveniences such as getting a dinner as not far from the house, so that they could get a good opportunity to know each other better and that thay could save time on cooking and spend more time on relaxing after work. Although with a restaurant nearby does have its seemingly profound advantages, at in the meantime there lies intrinsic harmful characteristics in it. What I would expound next is only a few about the drawbacks that being are unconsciously but really significant for us.

The main reason to disgree with the construction of the restaurant is that it could also give people the health problem when bringing them some so-called convenience. In order to see this point clearly, there is an appropriate example that is very persuasive. Building up a restaurant may lead to the environment circumambient? (This means 'encompassing'. What're you trying to express?) being contaminated, that would cause the residents nearby getting some terrible chronic diseases by drinking the water which may contains the dust from the restaurant and sucking in the air compounded with the smog which from the kitchen. (This is too long to be clear. Write shorter but more meaningful sentences.) Whats more, the noice which until midnight from the restaurant (You're assuming that this restaurant will operate until mid-night. Is that even a valid assumption?) can also make people not fitness by the disturbance of regular sleep. (I realize you have the tendency to use nouns/gerunds when you can afford to use verbs, that is, you tend to construct sentences based entirely on nouns. Such sentences tend to be hard to read, very repetitive and cumbersome.)

Health problem is only a part of the disadvantages, and another equally significant role to opposite choosing the construction is that the construction will bring community security problem. For instance, the resaurant which attracts people from all places of the city even from the whole country may also bring some thieves or robbers. All of them make it complex to hand over? the community security. The crime rate of the community would raise up rapidly in the short interval time after the building set up and the people who live around may not stay here peacefully, that even could make them find someplace else to keep safety?.

Finally, as a proverb says, “Every medal has two sides”. Although I admit that there are a couple of advantages of sustaining the restaurant built, I still remain with the opinion that I disagree with accepting a restaurant building nearby, for the disadvantages of it are more obvious. If all the fectors above are considered, we’ll find out that the benefits of NOT accepting the restaurant constructed nearby outweigh those of accepting it. Therefore from what we have discussed, we may safely come to the conclusion that disagreement of the building is a rather wise decision. People can also get something good from not preventing the construction?, but no one can ignore the big troubles the building would make. Such a choice will definitely be helpful in people’s later life.

总结：

这位童鞋我很遗憾地说我几乎完全读不懂你在说什么。。好吧，应该说我能猜得到你在试图说什么但是你说的方式不是语法不正确，就是遣词造句极其累赘，绕啊绕啊绕啊绕了半天才发现原来其实不过你要说的就是一句很简单的话而已。。全篇的语言几乎都是这样，完全没有办法改的感觉，要改等于就是重新写过。。另外就是问题问的是你的个人观点，结果你从开始到最后全是高瞻远瞩英明理性兼济天下最后只用一句话提到了‘我’的观点是什么。。这等于没有回答问题，你说得再怎么洋洋洒洒也是不扣题的。

heruofanUID: 2756767

2# mpromanus
T..T果断悲剧了..认真的看了一遍...
非常感谢大大的批改..看来还有一大份的苦工得下!!