Argument72 我的第一篇

yorkerjasterUID: 2458950

第一次写Arg 麻烦大家狂拍
72.In measuring electrical activity in different parts of the brain,researchers found that people who describe themselves as generally happy have more activity in the left prefrontal lobe of their brains than do other people. Therefore, a medication for stimulating the left prefrontal lobe of the brain would be an effective treatment for clinical depression.

Although the statement that a medication can effectively treat clinicaldepression by stimulating the left prefrontal lobe seems at firstglance be an obvious conclusion, on second thought the statement isquestionable. To begin with, the argument assumes a correlationbetween  happy people and activity in left prefrontal lobe amounts toa causal relationship. Moreover, the argument presumes a cause-effectrelationship between stimulating left prefrontal lobe  and curingclinical depression. The argument also fails to examine extrafunctions of a medication.



test有问题没有考虑的问题 心理因素， 排错药物影响，人群分类病人与正常人，

The information of the test provided, such as the testers' situation and sample comparison, is insufficient to justify the correlation. As forthe tester, we should consider what kind of people the testers were. Did the test include people who are usual persons or patient ssuffering depression or both? If the test only included usualpersons, the conclusion of the test is questionable. Did they takesome kind of drugs before the test which could affect the leftprefrontal lobe? Without ruling out the condition, it is unfounded toreach the correlation.  Even if these kind information is offered, we still did not know whether the researcher reduce the psychologicaleffects such as anxiety which may be the main factor to affect theresult.. Factors such as these could explain the test result and would undermine the correlation.


因果是必要还是充分还是充要?

Even given the correlation,the cause-effect relationship betweenstimulating left prefrontal lobe  and curing clinical depressionremains questionable. Although we know that there is a link between being happy and activity in left prefrontal lobe, did the feelingcause the activity or in turn the activity affect the feeling?Because there is no evidence of this information, the argument thatassumes the activity lead to the feeling would not be hold. If thespeaker provides such information, the cause-effect relationshipwould be accepted.

没有考虑药物对于一些病人的反作用
However,evenprovided stimulating the left prefrontal lobe can reduce thedepression, lack of information about the extra function of amedication  weakens the statement. Due to the side effects of amedication which might aggravate the illness for certain patients,information of side effects of a medication for some kind of personsshould be offered to bolster the statement.


In conclusion, without ruling out the influence of these, we could not conclude that statement. The argument could be improved by providingevidences that mention above.

starshaneUID: 2616355

1# yorkerjaster


第一次写Arg 麻烦大家狂拍
72.In measuring electrical activity in different parts of the brain, researchers found that people who describe themselves as generally happy have more activity in the left prefrontal lobe of their brains than do other people. Therefore, a medication for stimulating the left prefrontal lobe of the brain would be an effective treatment for clinical depression.



Although the statement that a medication can effectively treat clinical depression by stimulating the left prefrontal lobe seems at first glance be an obvious conclusion, on second thought the statement is questionable. To begin with, the argument assumes a correlation between  happy people and activity in left prefrontal lobe amounts to a causal relationship. Moreover, the argument presumes a cause-effect relationship between stimulating left prefrontal lobe and curing clinical depression. The argument also fails to examine extra functions of a medication.
从to begin with开始我以为你是要开始指出作者的重复，但你只是重复了一遍作者的观点（不能说以贬低的语气重复一遍别人的观点是有效的批判）， 所以私以为to begin with用得不是很好。最后一句话又说作者fail，但是怎么个fail法也没言简意赅指出，所以……整个开头没有起到很好的总领作用。


test有问题没有考虑的问题 心理因素， 排错药物影响，人群分类病人与正常人，

The information of the test provided, such as the testers' situation and sample comparison, is insufficient to justify the correlation. what correlation？这已经是第二段了……指代不明 As for the tester, we should consider what kind of people the testers were. Did the test include people who are （usual persons） common people吧……or patients suffering from depression or both? If the test only included usual persons, the conclusion of the test is questionable. Did they take some kind of drugs before the test which could affect the left prefrontal lobe? Without ruling out the condition, it is unfounded to reach the correlation.  Even if these kind information is offered, we still do not know whether the researcher reduce the psychological effects such as anxiety which may be the main factor to affect the result(what result？……可以写成which also contribute to the high level of left prefrontal lobe activity) . Factors such as these could explain the test result and would undermine the correlation.
我觉得只有心理因素那一点站得住脚，反驳的话我可以说：接受测试的人很多，难道个个都吃错药？
不管是病人还是正常人，如果他们感到快乐时左脑叶活动都更频繁，岂不是更能说明刺激大脑活动治疗的对象范围更广？
因果是必要还是充分还是充要?

Even given the correlation, the cause-effect relationship between stimulating left prefrontal lobe  and curing clinical depression remains questionable. Although we know that there is a link between being happy and activity in left prefrontal lobe,为什么要承认这一点呢？挑错不就是要想办法赖这点么…… did the feeling cause the activity or in turn the activity affect the feeling? Because there is no evidence of this information, the argument that assumes the activity lead to the feeling would not be hold. If the speaker provides such information, the cause-effect relationship would be accepted.
这段是质疑“到底是快乐引起脑部活动还是脑部活动影响feeling”？这个质疑有什么意义呢？
如果是快乐的确引起脑部活动的话，那么仿佛“刺激脑部活动带来快乐”正是可以考虑的possibility
brain activity affect the feeling正是作者提出用刺激脑部活动治疗depression的前提吧……你应该质疑的是“刺激脑部活动不能影响feeling，所以刺激脑部活动不能治疗depression”， 但这样说很危险，因为涉及到一些基本的医学常识……

没有考虑药物对于一些病人的反作用
However, even provided stimulating the left prefrontal lobe can reduce the depression, lack of information about the extra function of a medication  weakens the statement. Due to the side effects of a medication which might aggravate the illness for certain patients, information of side effects of a medication for some kind of persons should be offered to bolster the statement.


In conclusion, without ruling out the influence of these （又来了……these一般指代本句或前句中提到的东西，不是上一段……）, we could not conclude that statement. The argument could be improved by providing evidences that mentioned above.

最后一段应该把观点言简意赅地总结一遍……这样三句话用了三个指代，而且都指代不明，很恼火啊……

我写的话，肯定是赖there is a link between being happy and activity in left prefrontal lobe,
因为这才是作者摆出的第一前提，他自己也没有确实的根据，只是做了个调查，而凡是“调查”都是攻击的对象。
1，  1，happy 是不是引起更多脑部活动的直接因素？happy的人可能是在描述的时候语速较快，情绪较高昂，这在生气、激动时也有可能出现，怎么排除不是这些情绪引起更多脑部活动？
2，  2，同样倒推回去，刺激脑部活动可以产生feeling而且是正确的happy feeling么？doubtful.可能是furious, anxious feeling. 另外刺激脑部的副作用，让病人大脑活动更频繁可能引起其他问题，比如怎么神经失常啥的
3，退一万步，哪怕能make 病人feel happy,也是暂时的， 难道就能治抑郁症吗？又不可能一直刺激病人脑部，这个量没法把握