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[i习作temp] [big fish] 3月26日 ISSUE160 by wowoyuweiwei [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-3-26 19:23:55 |显示全部楼层
Nowadays, intensive media can convey most popular news to the public and even be able to discover something secret which may totally advert people's attitude to a certain person or affair. Because of it, maybe a hero in the public view turns to be a villain at last. Therefore, how we judge a person should be taken into consideration. We need to learn the advantages and abandon the bad points.

Admittedly, in this real world, no one is perfect without any weakness, although he or she may be regarded as a hero. Bill Clinton, a famous president in American History. He created eight-year long-term economic prosperity in United States and enable the rapid development of the high-tech industries. It was him led American civilian get out of the difficult time. However, on the other hand, he also had weakness. For example, he was addicted to drugs in his early age, escaped from the battles in Viet Nam and even once had sex with an intern of the White House. So it is impossible that there is a perfect person in all sides.

In this modern society, with the high technology, ordinary people can get the knowledge about current affairs. To interest the public, the editors and journalists may try to discover and spread the most secret news by all means especial the ones related to the famous. For instance, Tiger Woods, a famous golf player, won a great number of championships among the world gaining people's respect. However, recently, after he got hurt in a traffic accident, a piece of amazing news was published in most newspapers. His sex scandals were discovered with some other females. Right after this, his hero image is entirely destroyed. Since then, when people talk about him, they regard him as a playboy. From this we can apprehend that how terrible the media is.


At last, we need to think about how to look at the heroes in this modern world. With the media, everybody's weakness can be discovered and showed to the public no matter who he or she is. For this sake, it is high time talked about the way to treat these persons. We should keep it in mind that those famous people who may be regarded as heroes are still human beings who inevitably have bad points in characteristics. So the public should hold a tolerant attitude when they make mistakes. Furthermore, we can learn advantages and abandon the disadvantages from these heroes. Like Phelps, he trained very hard which help to achieve 8 medals in BJ Olympic Games. But after that he was reported addicting to drugs. As to the teenagers, they ought to study as hard as him for their pretty dreams and never touch drugs. This is exactly what can we benefit from the heroes.

To sum it up, we should study the good points from the hero and at the same time abandon the bad ones.
时间到了,最后一段还是少。
我第四段不知道写的合不合适?是不是又有点跑题了?

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发表于 2010-3-27 12:03:14 |显示全部楼层
Nowadays, intensive media can convey most popular news to the public and even be able to discover something secret which may totally advert people's attitude to a certain person or affair. Because of it, maybe a hero in the public view turns to be a villain at last. Therefore, how we judge a person should be taken into consideration. We need to learn the advantages and abandon the bad points.

Admittedly, in this real world, no one is perfect without any weakness, although he or she may be regarded as a hero. Bill Clinton, a famous president in American History. He created eight-year long-term economic prosperity in United States and enable the rapid development of the high-tech industries. It was him led American civilian get out of the difficult time. (强调句的话应该是 It is he that led American civilian get out of the difficult time.)However, on the other hand, he also had weakness. For example, he was addicted to drugs in his early age, escaped from the battles in Viet Nam and even once had sex with an intern of the White House. ("had sex"我建议换成"had an affair")So it is impossible that there is a perfect person in all sides. (It is impossible that a person performs perfectly in all aspects.)


In this modern society, with the high technology, ordinary people can get the knowledge about current affairs. To interest the public, the editors and journalists may try to discover and spread the most secret news by all means especial the ones related to the famous. For instance, Tiger Woods, a famous golf player, won a great number of championships among the world gaining people's respect. (For instance, Tiger Woods, a fomous golf player gaining people's respect, won a great number of championship among the world.我觉得这样好一点吧。)However, recently, after he got hurt in a traffic accident, a piece of amazing news was published in most newspapers. His sex scandals were discovered with some other females. Right after this, his hero image is entirely destroyed. Since then, when people talk about him, and regard him as a playboy. From this we can apprehend that how terrible the media is.


At last, we need to think about how to look at the heroes in this modern world. With the media, everybody's weakness can be discovered and showed to the public no matter who he or she is. For this sake, it is high time talked about the way to treat these persons. We should keep it in mind that those famous people who may be regarded as heroes are still human beings who inevitably have bad points in characteristics("bad points in characteristics"可以换成"big flaws in character"). So the public should hold a tolerant attitude when they make mistakes. Furthermore, we can learn advantages and abandon the disadvantages from these heroes. Like Phelps, he trained very hard which help to achieve 8 medals in BJ Olympic Games. But after that he was reported addicting to drugs. As to the teenagers, they ought to study as hard as him for their pretty dreams and never touch drugs. This is exactly what can we benefit from the heroes.

To sum it up, we should study the good points from the hero and at the same time abandon the bad ones.

水平有限,仅改了我觉得明显的错误,互相学习吧!

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发表于 2010-3-27 21:33:13 |显示全部楼层
楼上说的很好,我就说下有些细节吧
1.sex这个词 真的不是很好,真的要尽量避免出现,bill clinton的那段例子,比如可以换成have an improper relationship with...这是百科比较权威的说法哦
2.人名要说全 phelps肯定有全名吧,计时完后能查到资料都得查清楚 第一次全名才是正式书面语
3.试着多举例 少列举人物成就什么的,这样丰满一些,更适合第二段的论点 我也在学习这样的用法。。

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RE: [big fish] 3月26日 ISSUE160 by wowoyuweiwei [修改]

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[big fish] 3月26日 ISSUE160 by wowoyuweiwei
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1077251-1-1.html
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