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[未归类] L writing practice [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-4-17 23:05:05 |显示全部楼层
同学帮你看了作文 你怎么不修改我的呢~~

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发表于 2010-4-27 10:00:35 |显示全部楼层
4.27是efficiecy+mistakes 还是lower efficiecy + correction重要
In today’s world, there is a heated debate with soaring roar about whether it is more important with high efficiency leaving some mistakes or not when dealing with your business. Some individuals might argue that it would be perfect to leave less mistakes when finishing a job, however, my broad assertion seems appeal to incline to be more efficient when it comes to today’s fundamental points with respect to the order of society and custom of life.
In contemporary society, insofar as the basic regular of society, any informed people can’t overlook the certain disciplines that now society is run by certain efficiency. Accordingly in other word we can’t survive without a high efficiency like: we must study constantly to pander the school’s educations and development of society, after all mankind have to come to adapt the need of society to earn a live. So we have to form a high efficiency to fulfill a job not a masterpiece which of course is highly artistic and of integrity after all.
On the other hand lies my second point of view that in today’s world practicality is our idol which all powers and talents must serve while the authentic perfect masterpieces comparatively seems tend to be of less value. There is no better illustration rather than a plain fact that most people would rather pursue a relative practical functional PC rather than a luxury which is of highly artistic value and integrity. Accordingly we admit that the relative practical functional PC has several bugs which are no influent in daily running. However, when it comes to the luxury, it is totally for the rich not the most public. So in certain highly efficiency, in term of mistakes, there is often an admission for such lack of correction.
In the final analysis, given the order of society and custom of life, I come to draw a conclusion that it is more important with high efficiency leaving some mistakes when fulfill your job.
L  utimate state

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发表于 2010-4-27 10:28:44 |显示全部楼层
In today’s world, there is a heated debate with soaring roar about whether it is more important with high efficiency leaving some mistakes or not when dealing with your business. Some individuals might argue that it would be perfect to leave less mistakes when finishing a job, however, my broad assertion seems appeal to incline to be more efficient when it comes to today’s fundamental points with respect to the order of society and custom of life.* P  a. s- t6 c4 _9 R! t" x$ G0 D
In contemporary society, insofar as the basic regular of society, any informed people can’t overlook the certain disciplines that now (改为morden)society is run by certain efficiency. Accordingly in other word,we can’t survive without a high efficiency like: we must study constantly to pander the school’s educations and development of society, after all mankind have to come to adapt the need of society to earn a live. So we have to form a high efficiency to fulfill a job not a masterpiece which of course is highly artistic and of integrity after all.
On the other hand ,lies my second point of view that in today’s world practicality is our idol which all powers and talents must serve while the authentic perfect masterpieces comparatively seems tend to be of less value. There is no better illustration rather than a plain fact that most people would rather pursue a relative practical functional PC rather than a luxury which is of highly artistic value and integrity. Accordingly we admit that the relative practical functional PC has several bugs which are no influent in daily running. However, when it comes to the luxury, it is totally for the rich not the most public. So in certain highly efficiency, in term of mistakes, there is often an admission for such lack of correction. , T" a% S9 R6 A$ G* _' @
In the final analysis, given the order of society and custom of life, I come to draw a conclusion that it is more important with high efficiency leaving some mistakes when fulfill your job.
总体感觉你的词汇和句式的运用都比较到位,看得出是精心雕琢,但是要注意一些细节,比如标点符号,还有两点的理由论证,虽然够充分,但是要是再加一两点理由,就会更饱满,比如,我写的理由是可以节约时间,以便和家人在一起,另外还可以批驳一下,工作慢的坏处。当然如果我对你的文章评分的话,我觉得应该在二十五分了

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发表于 2010-4-28 22:52:25 |显示全部楼层
4.29   09.6.5 (北美)
应该把环境建设放在第一位以提高health care 水平,还是应该搞其他建设来提高。
In contemporary world, there is a heated debate with a soaring roar about whether we should assign social resources to environmental development in the first place to lift level of health care or not. Some individuals disagree with the claim , for the reason is that it is not the only access to resolve these problems given that there are other functional and effective ways to solve the problem. however, my broad assertion has to agree with the claim with respect to the most realms of human endeavor including public health and social long-term development.
My first point of view has to do with public health that public health mainly relay on the constant development of environment, at the same time, lifting level of health care account to meeting more need of the constant development of environment. There is no better illustration rather than a detailed and vivid historical evidence: in the middle of 20th century, there is no notions of development of environment in china, the most concerns led by leaders are developing in industry with great expense of environment, while people suffered from deadly diseases and hunger and lack of fundamental needs. Accordingly, to postpone development of environment until all of other human endeavor ‘s developed is to postpone lifting level of health care forever. Any informed people who concern otherwise seems appeal to pandering a purely socialism where government provides all necessity to the civilian and meets all interests in public group, however, which accounts to fantasy.
On the other hand lies my second argument that health care as one of human fundamental problems, stems from our origin of humanity which is born to be in close relationship with development of environment. So as to deal with the long term survival to live a better place for human ‘s future , there is admittedly to assign high priorities to the constant development of environment.
In the final analysis, as for level of health care, there is no better direct ways to meet the public interests rather than the constant development of environment, given public health and social long-term development.
L  utimate state

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发表于 2010-4-28 22:54:40 |显示全部楼层
4.28   09.08.01(北美)

有人觉得make sure别人(比如有影响的人或者你的老板)知道你的strength and accomplishment能帮你获得成功,否则一事无成。
I generally agree with the claim that making sure of someone important knowing your strength and accomplishment will help you advance to success because this claim has considerable merit with respect to the most yields of human endeavor. My broad assertion has to do with 2 aspects
about advantages that someone important knowing your strength and accomplishment, as discussed below.
First and foremost, when it comes to your strength and accomplishment, it had better show off its effectiveness to some influent people for your own success. There is no better illustration rather than a detailed and vivid example by one of the famous Chinese manager, Tang Jun. He is born to be a creative man with his novelty, and he show his novelty to Microsoft corporation, and final became the CEO in Chinese area. That demonstrates the reason why someone important knowing your strength and accomplishment will help you advance to success. The reason seems appeal to be that someone VIPs and social famous people who have high priority to assign the social recourses can help you with more social resources to accomplish your success.
Furthermore, being in close and good relationship with someone VIPs and social famous people will help you with your development of your staff. As it is known to all, all the VIPs and social famous people are peerless the social elite with variety of power and skills, not only with high priority to assign the social recourses. Accordingly, being in touch with such people will help you promote both in ideal of your success and your skills which pander the need of society, and awareness of how to approach to your success.
In the final analysis, in terms of success, given the advantages that someone important knowing your strength and accomplishment, I come to draw a conclusion that making sure of someone important knowing your strength and accomplishment will help you advance to success.
L  utimate state

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发表于 2010-4-29 23:13:20 |显示全部楼层
同学,提醒你,没帮我改428的作文~

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发表于 2010-5-4 22:04:29 |显示全部楼层
5.4 08.4.27   
Many teachers assign homework to students everyday. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
In today ‘s world, there is a heated debate with a soaring roar about whether daily homework is necessary for students. Some individuals don’t believe that daily homework is necessary for students when it comes to the concern that students works so hard all day that we shouldn’t exert  too much burden on them. From my prospective, I have to come to disagree with the people mentioned above given my broad assertion that daily homework has considerable merit pandering the progress of human beings as discussed below.
On the one hand lies my first point of view that daily homework contribute to success in forming a good custom which helps people get easily to achieve what they want. Admittedly, the daily homework force students to do their major job everyday that, in my view, is generally a repetitive job for students to fulfill and students are led to form a fixed custom to concentrate on their major everyday. Accordingly, sooner or later, their repetitive behavior render their major peerless perfect, like a old saying which puts “practice makes perfect.” As for a detailed example, there is no better a vivid experience than one of my story : in the early time of my childhood , I got difficulties in my writing including haw to express your idea and how to use the correct words to make grammar right. Hard as it seems appeal to be overcome, I finally make a decision that I would translate 3 sentences which can express my view everyday. Day after day, year after year, I render more and more reasoned in my writing skill. And finally I feel it easy to express my view.
On the other hand, daily homework is not a burden for students when it comes to most realms of human endeavors. It seem to be like a gradual step towards your aim and future. Any informed people who think otherwise flies in face of hundreds of thousands of successful elite who devote themselves to the certain realm everyday to make more and more achievement in their progress. while it embodies self- dependence and self-control without any burden at all. For example, when it refers to the invention of lamp, Edison tried materials hundreds of thousands of times. Even a slight of thought that he might consider the try as a burden , he would never achieve anything in his major career of research.
In the final analysis, given the remarkable benefits from daily homework and the authentic attitude of daily homework, I have to draw a conclusion that daily homework is necessary for students.
L  utimate state

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RE: L writing practice [修改]

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