Argument45 By 敛寒影----北极鹿的数量减少与全球变暖

敛寒影UID: 2613052

TOPIC:ARGUMENT45 - The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

"Arcticdeer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by movingover ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat islimited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and coldenough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating theislands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according toreports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since thesereports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea iceto melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is theresult of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns acrossthe frozen sea."
WORDS: 441
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2010-3-28 21:16:10

Base on the localhunters’ report about the population of deer and the global warming happened simultaneously,and with the fact that the deer search for food by moving over ice from islandto island during a course of a year, concluding that the cause of decrease ofdeer populations is global warming, which caused the sea ice to melt anddamaged the age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.

First of all, thereports from local hunters can not sufficiently support that the population ofdeer is actually declining. Without scientific survey and investigation, the resultis not well reasoned. Whether the time of his movement and the hunting activitycoincide with the habit of deer greatly influenced he should see the deer ornot. Is it possible that the deer changed age-old migration patterns across thefrozen sea and the hunters have not discovered. Summing up, the survey lacksnecessary detailed explanation for the evidence, so it is insufficient toconsider that the population of deer is actually decreased.

In addition,even if the number of deer is reduced, shall we suppose that due to the globalwarming merely because these two things happened one coincide with another? Itis true that global warming trend have caused the sea ice to melt and furtherchanged the deer’s age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. Of coursethis change make the deer difficultly search for food by their old patterns. However,there exists a hypothesis that the living habit of deer never changed. Actually,this is not the necessarily the case. It is likely that the deer adjust theiractive modes to adopt the changed survival conditions. They should search forfood in another way rather than following old patterns. Every species has aspecial way to adjust and accommodating with the alterative environment. Thatis called natural selection, forcing species to improve their viability.

Furthermore, theremay be other factors that could have caused the decrease of Arctic deer. Suchas the overmuch hunting of human beings, the surrounding in island is damagedso as to the plant disappeared in large proportion which is not enough for thedeer. Also, the increasing number of natural enemy of deer may course thereduction of deer. The author failed to consider other possible alternatives, therefore,this argument is not well reasoned without ruling out such possibilities.

Overall, theauthor should roundly take consider of alternatives that cause the decreasedpopulation of deer, and supply some detailed information to reinforce the hunter’sfound that the deer populations are declining. If any of these factors changed,the argument may varied being more logical.

番茄斗斗UID: 2720914

TOPIC:ARGUMENT45 - The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

"Arcticdeer live onislands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by movingoverice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitatis limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which theyfeed, and coldenough, at least some of the year, for the ice to coverthe sea separating theislands, allowing the deer to travel over it.Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deerpopulations are declining. Since thesereports coincide with recentglobal warming trends that have caused the sea iceto melt, we canconclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result ofdeer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns acrossthefrozen sea."
WORDS: 441
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2010-3-28 21:16:10

Base on thelocal hunters’ report about the population of deer and the globalwarming happened simultaneously,and with the fact that the deer searchfor food by moving over ice from islandto island during a course of ayear, （没主语？？the author conclude）concluding that the cause of decrease of deer populations isglobal warming, which caused the sea ice to melt anddamaged the age-oldmigration patterns across the frozen sea.（复述性的开头显得有些冗余）

First of all,the reports from local hunters can not sufficiently support that thepopulation ofdeer is actually declining. Without scientific survey andinvestigation, the resultis not well reasoned（why it is not well reasoned？？具体解释下吧）. Whether the time of hismovement and the hunting activity coincide with the habit of deergreatly influenced he should see the deer or not（这句话没看明白）. Is it possible thatthe deer changed age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea andthe hunters have not discovered（为什么这个可能会成立??其实要解释起来也不难，可以说进化论之类的，动物总会为了生存去改变自己等。。）. Summing up, the survey lacks necessarydetailed explanation for the evidence, so it is insufficient to considerthat the population of deer is actually decreased.

In addition,even ifthe number of deer is reduced, shall we suppose that due to theglobalwarming merely because these two things happened one coincidewith another?（ts建议用判断句） It is true that global warming trend have caused the seaice to melt and further changed the deer’s age-old migration patternsacross the frozen sea（migration patterns被改变已经是ture了吗？？，那之前那段的意义何在？让步的话，语气要适当）. Of course this change make the deer difficultlysearch for food by their old patterns. However,there exists ahypothesis that the living habit of deer never changed（这一段问题很严重，这里都说deer的生活习惯没改过，那后文怎么又说deer仅仅为了环境改变了呢？？如果整段是想说deer为了适应环境而改变自己，那可推的不应是deer减少了与环境无关，而应该是B1的deer不一定减少了；）. Actually,thisis not the necessarily the case. It is likely that the deer adjusttheiractive modes to adopt the changed survival conditions. They shouldsearch for food in another way rather than following old patterns. Everyspecies has aspecial way to adjust and accommodating with thealterative environment. That is called natural selection, forcingspecies to improve their viability.

Furthermore,there may be other factors that could have caused the decrease of Arcticdeer. Such as the overmuch hunting of human beings, the surrounding inisland is damaged so as to the plant disappeared in large proportionwhich is not enough for thedeer. Also, the increasing number of naturalenemy of deer may course the reduction of deer. The author failed toconsider other possible alternatives, therefore,this argument is notwell reasoned without ruling out such possibilities. （这一段应该和B2合并）

Overall, theauthorshould roundly take consider of alternatives that cause thedecreasedpopulation of deer, and supply some detailed information toreinforce the hunter’sfound that the deer populations are declining. Ifany of these factors changed,the argument may varied being more logical.

不好意思，修改的晚了，快要考了吧？加油！！～

richardleecod6UID: 2759051

“Every species has aspecial way to adjust and accommodating with the alterative environment. Thatis called natural selection, forcing species to improve their viability.”

记得上GRE阅读时老师说GRE其实是很反感进化论的，在阅读中不是讥讽就是挖苦进化论……不知楼主在这里用进化论的观点会不会……