4.8作文

bruce520UID: 2634940

Driving by the drastical pressure of future career, the concept that students at university or college should choose the most difficult classes is somewhat widely accepted by the majority who want to put themselves into a favorable position in the future job market, and people sharing the belief in it assert that the difficult course will really benefit them a lot even they cannot get a top grades. Nonetheless, it seems to me that there are valid concerns that the choice the student done above may not be a wise or insightful when taking consideration both the integration of the knowledge architecture and the evaluate criterion of the difficult.

Undeniably, the courses on our syllabus, in a way, have differences in the difficulty. However, those differences should not consider as a reason to choose some more difficult classes, because our eventual goal is to get a favorable position in the future job market. For the subject of computer science(CS) as an example, many students of CS prefer like to choose the C++ and JAVA as the primer computer language for they learn from their former that C++ and JAVA are great challenged classes which will contribute you much in the future job market. While, in my opinion, both the need of the market and your interesting are the key factors for you to make decision.

As we know, knowledge has play an extremely important role in the progress of human, according to the tendency of our modern society's development, it will continue contribute greatly to our future lives. The existed knowledge which have been written in our textbooks is the most valuable one, which we should inherent all of them but only choose the difficult one.

On the other hand, the standard which is designed by the education system to rank the difficulty of classes cannot completely reflect the difference of them when the differences of the students were ignored.

To sum up, students should make their choice of the courses in the university base on whether it can do favorable for their future career of the integration of the knowledge they learned.

shengyan1988UID: 2779324

Driving(driven) by the drastical pressure of future career, the concept that students at university or college should choose the most difficult classes is somewhat widely accepted by the majority who want to put themselves into a favorable position in the future job market, and people sharing the belief in it assert that the difficult course will really benefit them a lot even they cannot get a top grades. Nonetheless, it seems to me that there are valid concerns that the choice the student done above may not be a (去掉)wise or insightful when taking（加into） consideration both the integration of the knowledge architecture and the evaluate criterion of the difficult（difficulty）.

Undeniably, the courses on our syllabus, in a way, have differences in the difficulty. However, those differences should not consider as a reason to choose some more difficult classes, because our eventual goal is to get a favorable position in the future job market. For the subject of computer science(CS) as an example, many students of CS prefer like to choose the C++ and JAVA as the primer computer language for they learn from their former that C++ and JAVA are great challenged classes which will contribute（加to） you much in the future job market. While,（however） in my opinion, both the need of the market and your interesting（interest） are the key factors for you to make（a） decision. （这段开头没有中心句）

（没有衔接词）As we know, knowledge has play（plays） an extremely important role in the progress of human, according to the tendency of our modern society's development, it will continue（to） contribute greatly to our future lives.（这句话太长了，其实是很多句，只是用逗号连接而已，英语里一个句号里面不能有多个复句的） The existed knowledge which have（has）been written in our textbooks is the most valuable one, which we should inherent all of them（it）but only choose the difficult one.

On the other hand（不太好，没有相对应的one hand，用finally或者in addition之类的比较好）, the standard which is designed by the education system to rank the difficulty of classes cannot completely reflect the difference of them when the differences of the students were ignored.

To sum up, students should make their choice of the courses in the university base on whether it can do favorable for their future career of the integration of the knowledge they learned.

开头太长了，应该简洁一点，突出观点即可。段与段之间注意衔接词，中心句要突出，结构要清晰。总体感觉还可以，就是有点头重脚轻。。

wyl_stevenUID: 2728535

Driving（driven） by the drastical（drastic）pressure of future career, the concept that students at university or college should choose the most difficult classes is somewhat widely accepted by the majority who want to put themselves into（on） a favorable position in the future job market, and people sharing the belief in it assert that the difficult course will really benefit them a lot even they cannot get a top grades. Nonetheless, it seems to me that there are valid concerns that the choice the student done above may not be a wise or insightful when taking consideration both the integration of the knowledge architecture and the evaluate criterion of the difficult（第一段太繁琐了）.7 X) Q5 ~3 ~) f1 P
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Undeniably, the courses on our syllabus, in a way, have differences in the difficulty. However, those differences should not consider as a reason to choose some more difficult classes, because our eventual goal is to get a favorable position in the future job market. For(take) the subject of computer science(CS) as an example, many students of CS prefer like (重复)to choose the C++ and JAVA as the primer computer language for they learn from their former that C++ and JAVA are great challenged classes which will contribute you(you指代错了用they。这句话很难懂……) much in the future job market. While, in my opinion, both the need of the market and your interesting are the key factors for you to make decision. : Y$ q6 P+ c- A$ o

As we know, knowledge has played an extremely important role in the progress of human. according to the tendency of our modern society's development, it will continue contribute greatly to our future lives. The existed knowledge which have been written in our textbooks is the most valuable one, which we should inherent all of them but only choose the difficult one.( 这段和题目的好像没什么关联啊,你说的是传承知识 往题目上绕一绕吧)

On the other hand, the standard which is designed by the education system to rank the difficulty of classes cannot completely reflect the difference of them when the differences of the students were ignored. ( 和题目没联系)" a7 C% e% O8 T# h0 T1 ?
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To sum up, students should make their choice of the courses in the university based on whether it can do favorable for their future career of the integration of the knowledge(这句话逻辑有问题whether it can do favorable for their future career and the integration of the knowledge ) they learned
有些从句太乱 而且论据不充分