寄托天下
查看: 1631|回复: 6
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[活动] gnauhsux の independent writing [复制链接]

Rank: 1

声望
0
寄托币
54
注册时间
2010-1-20
精华
0
帖子
2
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2010-5-8 23:17:20 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 gnauhsux 于 2010-5-8 23:22 编辑

第一次写,欢迎拍砖,我自己改了很久的,第一遍写词汇句式例子都很贫乏,凑了半天字数,写了很久。

看了大家的,我怎么突然觉得自己有点儿跑题呢??? 悲剧了

5.8のThe best way to improve the quality of the education in a country is to increase teacher's salaries.

Currently, a vast discussion that teachers deserve to have an increase of their salaries has been hold according to the Medias. A majority of people consider the salaries as the vital aspect impeding the quality of the education. Although this view is widely accepted, I deem that the optimal method to improving education is progressing teaching manners.

Firstly, no one can deny the fact that an absorbing way of teaching is essentially affecting the results. Students are always concentrating on matters inspiring them. As is said that interest is the best teacher, a vivid and funny manner is definitely preferred in class, rather than a boring one. Such as, my little sister did well in her biology class for her teacher explans everthing in an entertaining language. In the contrast, she always falls asleep in her boring Chinese class.

Secondly, interactions in classes must be adopted. In traditional manners, teachers are always speaking while students listening. As is to me, students should be given opportunities for speaking. The consequences will be more effective in an active study like this. For example, I still totally remember the prisoner's dilemma , for I gave a presentation in the game theory class five years ago.

Finally, the performance of the students' study should be appraised variously, instead of taking examinations simply. They'd better read more, write more and speak more both in and out of classes. All of their papers, presentations and discussions need to be graded, so that the stress of learning will be released. Moreover, this method has more scientificity and makes the students take advantage of potential.

For all the discussions above, I believe the prime way to improve the quality of educations is developing teaching manners, not increasing teacher's salaries. We need to focus on how to make students understood thoroughly, and encourage them enjoying the process of learning. That's the key to this issue.
0 0

使用道具 举报

Rank: 1

声望
0
寄托币
54
注册时间
2010-1-20
精华
0
帖子
2
沙发
发表于 2010-5-9 19:59:33 |只看该作者
5.9 08.5.9 NA 是应该放更多的钱在access internet 上,而不是public transportation 同意还是不要?

Currently, internet is playing an indispensable role in people's life as the computer technology fast developed. It is usually seen some people could spend their whole day in a house without going out, for they can do everything online, such as shopping, working and communicating with friends. These people consider internet more significant than public transportation, and they believe the government should spend more money on accessing internet rather than public transportation. However, as is to me, I can hardly agree with this point of view.

To begin with, public transportation is closely connected with internet. Although people today prefer staying at home and shopping online, going out less doesn't mean less use of public transportation. An express company is required in an online-shopping. Since there are an increasing number of people shopping on line, additional stress is given to the public transportation. If the transportation was paralyzed, nothing can be bought on the internet and nowhere people can go.

In addition, construction of public transportation contributes a vital part in a country's economy. According to the macro-economy theory, government expenditure is the most positive and effective method to stimulate the weak market. Infrastructure projects including improving public transportations can reduce the unemployment rate in this special time, and working people will really be benefited from this action.

What's more, although virtual world is absorbing to a majority of people, humans are still relying on the real world. What we do on internet can be done in the real world, while not all problems we faced in real life can be solved online. For example, we can never really be transported to another place on the internet based on current technology.

For what have been discussed above, the safe conclusion can be drawn: people can live without internet, but their life will be in a mass without public transportation.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
168
注册时间
2010-1-13
精华
0
帖子
6
板凳
发表于 2010-5-10 10:27:39 |只看该作者
我究竟改谁的作文啊?  

我是你楼下的!!

使用道具 举报

Rank: 1

声望
0
寄托币
54
注册时间
2010-1-20
精华
0
帖子
2
地板
发表于 2010-5-10 13:23:01 |只看该作者
3# Lee.Y

5.8的是我们俩互改吧~~~~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
104
注册时间
2010-4-28
精华
0
帖子
1
5
发表于 2010-5-10 21:57:40 |只看该作者
2# gnauhsux

Currently, internet is playing an indispensable role in people's life as the computer technology fast developed. It is usually seen 这里的that可以省略吗?some people could spend their whole day in a house without going out, for they can do everything online, such as shopping, working and communicating with friends. These people consider internet more significant than public transportation, and they believe the government should spend more money on accessing internet rather than public transportation. However, as is to me, I can hardly agree with this point of view.2 y$ X5 A# m% f6 y7 M

To begin with, public transportation is closely connected with internet. Although people today prefer staying at home and shopping online, going out less doesn't mean less use of public transportation. An express company is required in an online-shopping. Since there are an increasing number of people shopping on line, additional stress is given to the public transportation. If the transportation was paralyzed, nothing can be bought on the internet and nowhere people can go., T& J  J) a+ s/ F. Y4 h- v8 Y, D+ y
6 N# [1 x9 m( u: B
In addition, construction of public transportation contributes a vital part in a country's economy. According to the macro-economy theory, government expenditure is the most positive and effective method to stimulate the weak market. Infrastructure projects including improving public transportations can reduce the unemployment rate in this special time, and working people will really be benefited from this action.哇~这个观点是挺新颖的,LL是学经管的吧~我也是(哦。。偏题了)但是我觉得这个点不太有效,因为投资互联网建设就对经济没有帮助了吗?easy access to internet requires many fundermental facilities such as 光纤,电脑,这样也会刺激这些产业的发展哦~

; [% i' c0 _, v' ?5 Q
What's more, although virtual world is absorbing to a majority of people, humans are still relying on the real world. What we do on internet can be done in the real world, while not all problems we faced in real life can be solved online. For example, we can never really be transported to another place on the internet based on current technology.虽然这一段表达了现实世界的重要性,但是我觉得不够清晰,老美比较喜欢直接的东东~~而且这个论点有点偏弱~~LL想想,就像第二段讲的,网络带给我们的并不都是虚拟的~如果网络带来的方便或者利益比修建public transportation 更大,那就有理由头多点前去完善网络 3 t5 U% @% [# i  D1 _

For what have been discussed above, the safe conclusion can be drawn: people can live without internet, but their life will be in a mass without public transportation.并不是without哦~~LL有点小小偏题咯~

使用道具 举报

Rank: 1

声望
0
寄托币
54
注册时间
2010-1-20
精华
0
帖子
2
6
发表于 2010-5-11 23:56:05 |只看该作者
5.11 09.1.10 NA  do you agree or disagree that improving schools is the most factor in successful development of country?

According to a recent survey, a majority of people consider the improvement of schools as the most factor to develop a country successfully. The future of the country is depended on children, whose education mostly received at school. If schools made no headway, it's hard to imagine any progress could be made in a country. As is to me, I deem that it definitely makes sense.

To begin with, school is an indispensable community for children's education. Almost every child is acknowledged at school, where both learning skills and interpersonal skills are formed. At school, teachers are professional in educating and communicating with students, which will have a profound and lasting impact on them.

Moreover, the development of a country is relied on children, who are mainstays of the unborn society. If there was no wish of the children, there is no progress in the country. Technology, science, culture and etc will be dying out or vanish from the earth if there is no successors. Take traditional Chinese medical science for example, there used to be vast recipes in ancient China. However, due to a minority of people were able to inherit this science, a majority of them failed to be handed down from generations.

What's more, human resources are playing an increasing significant role in the development of society. The country which has the most excellent intelligence will stand in front of the whole world. As we know, a mass of outstanding students and scientists rush into United States every year. All superior specialists are assembled in USA, which is the main reason for the successful development of this country. This is a kind of buildup effect.

To sum up, improvement of schools means a better education level. No one can deny that it is the most essential factor of the progress of the country. It is expressly a wise choice to focus on advancing schools.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
141
注册时间
2010-3-3
精华
0
帖子
1
7
发表于 2010-5-12 16:56:01 |只看该作者
5.11 09.1.10 NA  do you agree or disagree that improving schools is the most factor in successful development of country?

According to a recent survey, a majority of people consider the improvement of schools as the most factor to develop a country successfully. The future of the country is depended on children, whose education mostly received at(from是不是更好呢?) school. If schools made (make)no headway, it's hard to imagine any progress could be made in a country. As is to me,(as is to me 与后面我认为重复)最好写清楚我认为什么makes sense I deem that it definitely makes sense.


To begin with, (a) school is an indispensable community for children's education. Almost every child is acknowledged at school, where both learning skills and interpersonal skills are formed. At school, teachers are professional in educating and communicating with students, which will have a profound and lasting impact on them. (可以在具体的举出例子,体现影响)0 ~$ @5 l7 R: d! Q; Y6 G2 h6 k



Moreover, the development of a country is relied on children, who are mainstays of the unborn society. If there was no wish of the children, there is no progress in the country. Technology, science, culture and etc will be dying out or vanish from the earth if there is no successors(sccessors 换一个词). Take traditional Chinese medical science for example, there used to be vast recipes in ancient China. However, due to a minority of people were(加一个not) able to inherit this science, a majority of them failed to be handed down from generations.
, @5 J- n4 [. ?( a& [  k! C# G




What's more, human resources are playing an increasing significant role in the development(换一个advancement,不然感觉通篇都是development) of society. The country which has the most excellent intelligence will stand in front of the whole world. As we know, a mass of outstanding students and scientists rush into United States every year. All superior specialists are assembled in USA, which is the main reason for the successful development of this country. This is a kind of buildup effect." O) l7 a# ~0 @1 L  v
3 T( o- L: O( u9 p  j% j( u% g* _






To sum up, improvement of schools means a better education level. No one can deny that it is the most essential factor of the progress of the country. It is expressly a wise choice to focus on advancing schools.






感觉作者写的不错,就是第一个观点不是很详细,要是去掉第一个观点然后其他两个部分详细阐述会很好。
Ps 纯属个人观点。。。

使用道具 举报

RE: gnauhsux の independent writing [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
gnauhsux の independent writing
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1095356-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部