wuyinhero独立作文贴

annkeUID: 2605122

Nowadays, educational issues have aroused[vt 不能这样用，可以have been aroused ，或者，have rised] hot debates among students, teachers and parents. While a vast majority of people believe that adolescents should understand ideas and concepts underlying the facts, some people argue that it is enough for the students to learn the simple facts. In my viewpoint, students should master the basic ideas and concepts, which have a profound effect on their future study.
To begin with, ideas and concepts are the essence of simple facts[这句如果是伦点的话，后面并没有阐释], they tell us how the theory works under specific condition. Understanding these basic ideas and concepts are not only good for our current study, but also will benefit our further research work. For instance, psychologists in the University of Maryland found that more than ninety percent of Nobel Prize winners had strong interests in discovering the basic ideas and concepts.[这个例子也没有很好的说明理解概念对未来学习有帮助，只是陈述了个事实，如果例子是9成以上的诺贝尔获得者在很小的时候就有很好理解，之后学习很好，之后才得奖，这样才能扣住观点] Only by mastering these essential concepts in the textbook can students be able to solve more complex problems. If they just know the simple facts, when the adolescents meet the problem next time, they would be confused and could do nothing about it. As result, to make a solid foundation for further study, it is necessary for students to understand ideas and concepts.[这段的论点太多，涣散]
In addition, understanding ideas and concepts can cultivate the spirit of perseverance in their[?] life, which play an important role in their[指代不明] success. It is universally acknowledged that mastering the ideas is not an easy task. Only by hard work and persistance can students understand these concepts. Take the scientist Newton for instance, he was so curious about [the去掉] underlying mechanism why the apple fell down from the tree[这句似乎没完]. Newton was not just satisfied with the superficial facts, so[这个连词不能连接前面的not just] he achieved great success with the spirit of persistance[persistence] in his career. Also, it[what?] applies to college students, they would be frustrated on their way to truth, but they could acquire the spirit of perseverance. When they encounter difficulties in their life, they would insist on what they choose, finally they would achieve their goal with hard work.[个人觉得说理解概念可以培养坚定不移的精神本身就很牵强。楼主似乎混淆了前因和后果，可以这么说，一个坚定不移的人才能理解概念内涵，这种理解对他以后学习很有帮助。这道题是对比事实谁更重要，所以，强调的是后果。所以这个论点从哪个方面来看都不适合]
On the other hand, it is a little risky if [if引导从句，之后的主句呢？]the adolescents just learn the facts. The college students would be satisfied the development of science and technology enjoyed by our predecessors, then the human civilization would not be advanced.
All in all, considering the advantages of understanding ideas and concepts and the disadvantages of learning facts, we can easily see that it is beneficial for the students to master the basic ideas and concepts, when their further development is taken into consideration
[楼主的语言很流畅。多注意句法和句意通顺。另外，论证逻辑不够严密。总得来说，不错~]
15# wuyinhero

shouwang1UID: 2787309

Nowadays, educational issues have aroused hot debates among students, teachers and parents. While a vast majority of people believe that adolescents should understand ideas and concepts underlying the facts, some people argue that it is enough for the students to learn the simple facts. In my viewpoint, students should master the basic ideas and concepts, which have a profound effect on their future study.) R& \. x9 z4 b: p3 m+ A1 M
To begin with, ideas and concepts are the essence of simple facts, they tell us how the theory works under specific condition. Understanding these basic ideas and concepts are not only good for our current study, but also will benefit our further research work. For instance, psychologists in the University of Maryland found that more than ninety percent of Nobel Prize winners had strong interests in discovering the basic ideas and concepts. Only by mastering these essential concepts in the textbook can students be able to solve more complex problems. If they just know the simple facts, when the adolescents meet the problem next time, they would be confused and could do nothing about it. As result, to make a solid foundation for further study, it is necessary for students to understand ideas and concepts.
In addition, understanding ideas and concepts can cultivate the spirit of perseverance in their life, which play an important role in their success. It is universally acknowledged that mastering the ideas is not an easy task. Only by hard work and persistance can students understand these concepts. Take the scientist Newton for instance, he was so curious about the underlying mechanism why the apple fell down from the tree. Newton was not just satisfied with the superficial facts, so he achieved great success with the spirit of persistance in his career. Also, it applies to college students, they would be frustrated on their way to truth, but they could acquire the spirit of perseverance. When they encounter difficulties in their life, they would insist on what they choose, finally they would achieve their goal with hard work.! q+ q9 o( q% b& x; }& }! F& p4 W
On the other hand, it is a little risky if the adolescents just learn the facts. The college students would be satisfied the development of science and technology enjoyed by our predecessors, then the human civilization would not be advanced.
All in all, considering the advantages of understanding ideas and concepts and the disadvantages of learning facts, we can easily see that it is beneficial for the students to master the basic ideas and concepts, when their further development is taken into consideration.

楼主还是很强大的，几乎没找出什么错误，句子很多元，思路也很清晰。不过觉得最后一段的逻辑有点小问题，considering the advantages of understanding ideas and concepts and the disadvantages of learning facts感觉这是在片面的看问题，如果只看ideas and concepts的优点，以及facts的问题，应该是得不出这个结果的吧，建议楼主改用一种说法。总体还是很强大的，小小膜拜一下··

wuyinheroUID: 2683653

5.20 independant writing
WORDS: 401          TIME: 00:24:48          DATE: 2010-5-20 14:34:27

Nowadays, it is a hot debate among people what is the best way to learn about a country. Some people argue that the best approach is to read books about the specific country, as it contains a large amount of information about that country. However, in my viewpoint, the best solution is to visit the local museum in that country.

To begin with, it is very convenient for us to visit the local museum. As we know, every government would invest a large amount of money in building a museum for exhibiting its own history and culture. Some of them are even free not only to local inhabitants but also to foreign visitors. By visiting the museum we can get to know the history and culture very directly and form a deep impression. For instance, I read from my textbook that China is an extraordinary ancient country and is known for its magnificent building. Not until I climbed the Great Wall and visited the Forbidden City did I realize how ancient the country is. As a result, visiting the museum can provide us a direct approach to know this country.

In addition, visiting the museum can greatly broaden our horizon. There are numerous priceless masterpieces displayed in the museum. Some of them are even made thousands years ago. By appriciating these great works can we realize the history and culture in that decade far away from now. Take me for example, I visited the Great Britain Museum last year and I was attracted by the machines in the Industry Revolution. Although they looked so poor compared to our modern technology, they greatly advanced the development of science and technology in the whole world.

However, we cannot deny the benefit enjoyed by reading books that introduced this country. There are a large amount of information and would take us some time to consider what is the most important and useful for us. Besides, it saves us some time and energy, as some museums are not free for all of us and visiting museums would make us feel tired. Considerable though these benefits are, they cannot compete with the advantages that visiting a museum brings about.

From, what we have discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that the best way to learn a country is to visit the local museum as it is more convenient and can greatly broaden our horizon.

ggj_lllUID: 2796021

18# wuyinhero

5.20 independant writing8 N% v3 N) o2 W$ [' E" X
WORDS: 401          TIME: 00:24:48          DATE: 2010-5-20 14:34:27/ h; B4 {
Nowadays, it is a hot debate among people what is the best way to learn about a country. Some people argue that the best approach is to read books about the specific country, as it contains a large amount of information about that country. However, in my viewpoint, the best solution is to visit the local museum in that country.

To begin with, it is very convenient for us to visit the local museum. As we know, every government would invest a large amount of money in building a museum [museums 是否更好一些？因为后面用的是some of them]for exhibiting its own history and culture. Some of them are even free not only to local inhabitants but also to foreign visitors. By visiting the museum we can get to know the history and culture very directly and form a deep impression. For instance, I read from my textbook that China is an extraordinary ancient country and is known for its magnificent building. Not until I climbed the Great Wall and visited the Forbidden City did I realize how ancient the country is. [这个句式用的很好]As a result, visiting the museum can provide us a direct approach to know this country.
addition, visiting the museum can greatly broaden our horizon [让我眼睛一亮的词汇！很好]. There are numerous priceless masterpieces displayed in the museum. Some of them are even made thousands [of] years ago. By appriciating [appreciating] these great works can we [需要倒装吗？我觉得不需要，但不是很确定]realize the history and culture in that decade far away from now. Take me for example, I visited the Great Britain Museum last year and I was attracted by the machines in the Industry Revolution. Although they looked so poor compared to our modern technology, they greatly advanced the development of science and technology in the whole world.
However, we cannot deny the benefit enjoyed by reading books that introduced [introduce] this country. There are a large amount [用is a large amount 或者 are large amounts ] of information and would take us some time to consider what is the most important and useful for us. Besides, it saves us some time and energy, as some museums are not free for all of us and visiting museums would make us feel tired. Considerable though these benefits are, they cannot compete with the advantages that visiting a museum brings about.2 Y* _3
From what we have discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that [这样的句式用于总结，显得与上文很连贯，并且很流畅] the best way to learn a country is to visit the local museum as it is more convenient and can greatly broaden our horizon.


总结：文章结构很好，用了一些亮点词汇（很不错），并且文章句式变化也很多样。偶尔有一些拼写错误，我觉得好像是键盘输入造成的。

kingarthur_leeUID: 2810596

Nowadays, it is a hot debate among people what is the best way to learn about a country. Some people argue that the best approach is to read books about the specific country, as it contains a large amount of information about that country. However, in my viewpoint, the best solution（这里用solution是否恰当，好像不是个问题的提出也） is to visit the local museum in that country.3 y-
(这个开头和我很像，呵呵)
To begin with, it is very convenient for us to visit the local museum. As we know, every government would invest a large amount of money in building a museum for exhibiting its own history and culture. Some of them are even free not only to local inhabitants but also to foreign visitors. By visiting the museum we can get to know the history and culture very directly and form a deep impression. For instance, I read from my textbook that China is an extraordinary ancient country and is known for its magnificent building. Not until I climbed the Great Wall and visited the Forbidden City did I realize how ancient the country is（用how magnificent the country is 会不会更准确点，不能说才了解这个国家有多老啊？） . As a result, visiting the museum can provide us a direct approach to know this country.

X  D- O0 ^) G
In addition, visiting the museum can greatly broaden our horizon. There are numerous priceless masterpieces displayed in the museum. Some of them are even made thousands
years ago. By appriciating these great works can we realize the history and culture in that decade far away from now.(阁下这个倒装很有水平) Take me for example, I visited the Great Britain Museum last year and I was attracted by the machines in the Industry Revolution. Although they looked so poor compared to our modern technology, they greatly advanced the development of science and technology in the whole world.

However, we cannot deny the benefit enjoyed by reading books that introduced this country. There are a large amount of information and would take us some time to consider what is the most important and useful for us. Besides, it saves us some time and energy, as some museums are not free for all of us and visiting museums would make us feel tired. Considerable though these benefits are, they cannot compete with the advantages that visiting a museum brings about.（这段的让步也写的很有水平）

From, what we have discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that the best way to learn a country is to visit the local museum as it is more convenient and can greatly broaden our horizon.（最后再次重申上述理由，恩，写得很好）

说实话，我一直想挑出什么毛病出来，不过确实写得很好，结构，语法，语言的流畅程度，再加上模板，不得不说这篇文章真的写得很好; n6 u7 u! \$ _  {