1010G【fish】issue208

polosongruiUID：2595436

zhan 2

------------------------一改小谦------------------------------------

When I started looking around the people in my sight, the hair style, the cloths, and act seemed to have revealed people’s attitudes and interests to some extent. Comparing the differences of people’s social customs and traditional dressing between（觉得among好点） different countries, societies’ ideas and values were unveiled.//觉得这句前面那个comparing怪怪的，应该是通过comparing然后得到ideas吧，不知道没有介词直接doing合适不？即使是独立主格，也觉得不是很顺However, with the process of globalization, people’s dressing and attitude have a trend to integrate.//这个however的内容怎么在之后的论述中没有见到啊！


//加个过渡的短语吧，要不显得太突兀了The appearance, dress and gestures reflect people’s attitude and interests. The outside looking including facial expression, hair style, clothes, and shoes indicate the preferences of the owner. The clothes of the owner fashionable or out of style shows his/her favor of clothes. Does he or she have a preference to one specific color?//这个疑问句也好突兀 People’s characters also can be detected from their appearance, like（加个that吧，毕竟后面跟的是俩句子） rich facial expressions with talking（我怎么觉得with前后是反的） suggest one’s out-going characteristics and smiling faces represent friendly. In addition, a person’s attitude serious or not can be judged by his/her clothes and gestures. There are numerous of examples shows that we could characterize an individual by his/her out-looking and body-gestures.//求教一下两个蓝色句子的结构和用法，我不知道一个名词，后面直接加上普通的形容词，这样的整体是否能直接做主语，我顶多见过由动词过去分词形式的形容词能这样用。乌啦啦！

However, judging from this indicated method（from method，可以这样说吗？还是in或者by保险点吧） is limited to some extent. In a group of people who wear almost the same clothes or even（干嘛来个even啊，前面不都almost the same了么） uniforms and are doing the same thing, it is difficult to identify people’s interests and attitudes by their out looking and gestures. Anyway, we could still characterize them as a group. For example, in a libratory, all the students are reading books down（怎么突然有个down） wearing ordinary casual wear. It is difficult to identify each student with different characters, but the conclusion that these group of students work hard in their studies and so on could be drew. In（Take） another example, in the troop, soldiers wearing uniforms have few chance to show their unique as individuals, however, they are the same and as a group(我觉得说的很含糊，你看这样行不 they are same as a group and) they show characters as soldiers like strong bodies, special skills and the like.


Also, people in a country share some values and attitudes reflected by people’s cloths and action. We could deduce this by traditional cloths and social intercourses of different societies. The totally differences of dresses between east and west are studying by sociologists, which could reveal people's differences in reorganization of the world. Social etiquette reveals people’s attitude towards life. For example, the Japanese are advocating（为何用现在时啊） the spirit of Bushido, the Japanese have a lot of bow his head（没懂结构和意思）. Respecting the elders and loving the young is one of the traditional Chinese virtues which could be detected from people’s gestures. And in USA, which composed of various of citizens from different cultures also present a diversity in people’s dressing and gestures.(没有主语)

In conclusion, the looking and gestures of an individual, a group, and a society reveals certain characters, like preference, values, and attitudes. A man of penetration could acquire as much information as possible. In order to learn from someone or a society, you can start from observation.

//小谦，这篇文章整体觉得不是很顺，我说的直接点，你别介意啊！感觉只是把这个issue扩展了一下，而在开头段的最后一句提到的那部分，本来可以做为一个新观点加以扩展的，可是你在之后的文章中再也没提到过，我觉得即使你同意作者的说法，然后加以阐述，可是也应加入一些自己的东西啊，（就像你第一段的最后一句）这样文章就显得更丰富，饱满一些，对问题考虑的也就更全面一些！第二段说了individual，第三段说了group，前面的那个however的转折感也不是很强烈，第四段说了society，当然这样的结构是挺清晰的，可是显得文章很“平”，没有一点“波澜”了，如果能把这三段某些共同的地方合成一下，然后留些空间发挥第一段的结尾提到的那部分内容，我觉得这样文章就能“活”起来了！这是我个人的看法，不合适的地方请多见谅！

------------------二改agnes2010------------------

The speaker generalizes unfairly that the way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests and the society’s ideas and values as well(太长了吧). From my perspective, this statement is ex parte for the appearance and behavior of a society’s people can not be the sole consideration when judging the society’s value.

No doubt, today’s popular globalization makes it possible that nearly everything is to have no national boundary, even truth in culture. Globalization draws near our distances. Thanks to the creation of hair tint, everyone can wear a colored hair as he/she likes, which disenabled us to judge a person’s nationality by his/her hair color. Owing to the development of communication systems, we can be informed of the fresh fashion trends sweeping across the globe and dress（dressed） the fashionable skirts of all kinds of styles, never seeking the traditional folk costume at the bottom of our wardrobes until some anniversaries of important traditional events, thus making it hard to see some ethical traditional dress on the streets. Due to the inventions of ball-point pens and gel-ink pens, the Chinese brush and the goose pen are all history and can hardly been seen in today’s work environment. As a result, the way people look, dress, and act tends to be same under the effect of globalization and such outward form alone can never be the only criterion to(for or of) the judging of a society’s value.

Admittedly, the ideas and values of a society could be told by the appearance and behavior of its people to some extent. One interesting thing was once spread among the experienced American tourists: when they are on an air plane in Europe, they can easily determine which passengers are from Germany, Sweden, or the Switzerland by observing the passengers’ behavior. They conclude this as a rule that a passenger who looks at the watch when the plane takes off and check the time for the second time when the plane lands is certainly a man from those European coutries because their punctuality are well-known. However, in some Asian countries, people pay less attention to the time. As a result, different societies own their ideas and values on “time”, which can be apparently seen on the behavior of its people.

Nevertheless, even presenting a reflecting of society's ideas and values to some extent, one cannot rule out the existing of the individual difference. When growing up, people may form their own unique attitude and interest which is influenced by what they sees(see) and hears(hear). For instance, some international organizations are filled of members from all over the world because of the same interests. Although they may be not familiar with each other’s national languages, they may act the same styles towards a certain thing, which may not affected by their potential society’s ideas and values.

In sum, it is unfair to judge a society’s ideas and values only by its members’ appearance and behaviors. To make the conclusion more convincing, we should also take objective judging criteria into consideration, such as the literature works and art works left in the society which reflect the traditional history and value of it.

//我看了好几遍，还是没找出什么大毛病，不知道是不是自己的脑子僵住了！唉！要不我帮你捋一下，你看顺不！开头提出观点：appearance and behavior不能成为the sole consideration去认识社会的价值和理念。第二段直接提到全球化缩小了人们在appearance and behavior的差别。第三段让步，某种程度下还是可以体现的，并举了那个time 的例子。第四段，但是我们不能忽略个体的差异，一个人的态度和兴趣的形成是受他所看到的和听到的影响的。举了个例子。其实我最迷惑的就是这一段，对这个例子和前面的关系我没太搞懂。觉得和前面的论述没有直接的证明关系。最后一段总结总结。这样捋了一遍之后，我觉得这样的顺序，你看好不？先让步，说能够体现，然后提及个体差异，这个地方尽量简单点，然后把重头戏放在globalization上，这样感觉会顺一点，不知道你觉得呢？

梦想在路上UID：2812986

According to the statement, the speaker claims that one can learn much about a society’s ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people. It has some merits from a normative standpoint, however, in my opinion, I cannot totally agree with such extreme view because it is too unilateral and restricted to understand a society’s ideas and values only by such way.

To begin with, the speaker’s assertion that the appearance and behavior of people can reflect the society they belong in is quite compelling, for two respects. First, indisputable, the appearance and dressing of people are vital parts of the social culture. A telling example of this is involving that the women in Iran, with the social ideas of religious supremacy, have to veil all their bodies besides their faces and hands while those in western countries, with the social ideas of liberation, democracy and equality, can dress more professional, stylish and what ever they like. Secondly, the way people act can also reveal the social ideas and values. Considering that when people greet each other, the French like to hug friendly while the Koreans more willing to bow instead, since the former’s social values are more opening and zealous.

Beyond this concession, however, I disagree with the statement because it seems to ignore that the appearance and behavior of people would be restrained and influenced by some factors, which will mislead people from really realizing a society. For one thing, people with certain vocation or in certain situation might be forced to wear special uniforms, which would eliminate the social differences. For example, all doctors and nurses over the world are dressed the same kind of white uniforms, and all athletes in Olympic Games share similar sport suits. For another, under the trend of globalization and personality, the differences between societies have become smaller and smaller meanwhile the differences between people have become bigger and bigger, which make it difficult to distinguish from behavior and appearance, such as Christmases being famous in Eastern countries, all youngsters around the world wearing T-shirt and jeans and holding personal style.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, if one would like to understand values and ideas of a society, they should pay more attention about other objective respects of the society, such as history, culture, religion and moral regulation and law, since the function of people’s exterior appearance and behavior are normally limited to a shallow level. For instance, we need to rely on historical records and other statistical evidence, which indicates the overall development of a society, to wholly understand the polygamy existed in some countries. Consequently, a comprehensive analysis and studying about the background and overall developing progress of a country, which may help to draw a complete conclusion of the society.


In sum, I concede that people can come to understand the ideas and values of a society by way of observing its people’s appearance and behavior to some extent. Nonetheless, in a sense the speaker overlooks the limitation of such method and the importance of other aspects reflecting a society. In the final analysis, we may safely reach the conclusion that we should learn fully about a society’s values and ideas through several respects such as its culture, history, moral regulation and law and so forth, besides the way people look, dress and act.

------------------------------------辛苦的分割线---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
自改一


谢谢Ity，提的建议很有道理，我都改过了。有一个关于两个句子顺序的没改，我的想法是两点同等地位，都会影响到人们判断，你是不是觉得我这样写会容易产生误解？？
另回Ity：那个进行时我就凭感觉写的，也没有道理说⊙﹏⊙b

According to the statement, the speaker claims that one can learn much about a society’s ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people. It has some merits from a normative standpoint, however, in my opinion, I cannot totally agree with such extreme view because it is too unilateral and restricted to understand a society’s ideas and values only by such way.

To begin with, the speaker’s assertion that the appearance and behavior of people can reflect the society they belong in is quite compelling, in two respects. First, indisputably, the appearance and dressing of people are vital parts of the social culture. An impressive example of this is involving
that the women in Iran, with the social ideas of religious supremacy, have to veil all their bodies besides their faces and hands while those in western countries, with the social ideas of liberation, democracy and equality, can dress more professional, stylish and what ever they like. Secondly, the way people act can also reveal the social ideas and values. Considering that when people greet each other, the French like to hug friendly while the Koreans more willing to bow instead, since the former’s social values are more zealous and explicit but the latter's social values are more shy and implicit.

However, I disagree with the statement because it seems to ignore that the appearance and behavior of people would be restrained and influenced by some factors, which will mislead people from really realizing a society. For one thing, people with certain vocation or in certain situation might be forced to wear special uniforms, which would eliminate the social differences. For example, all doctors and nurses over the world are dressed the same kind of white uniforms, and all athletes in Olympic Games share similar sport suits. For another, under the trend of globalization and personality, the differences between societies have become smaller and smaller meanwhile the differences between individualities have become bigger and bigger, which make it difficult to distinguish from behavior and appearance, such as most Eastern nations celebrating the Christmas like Western counties doing, all youngsters around the world wearing T-shirt and jeans but holding specially personal styles--Hip-Pop, Punk, Neutrality and so on.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, if one would like to understand values and ideas of a society, they should pay more attention about other objective respects of the society, such as history, culture, religion and moral regulation and law, since the function of people’s exterior appearance and behavior are normally limited to a shallow level. For instance, we need to rely on historical records and other statistical evidence, which indicates the overall development of a society, to wholly understand the polygamy existed in some countries. Consequently, a comprehensive analysis and studying about the background and overall developing progress of a country may help to draw a complete conclusion of the society.


In sum, I concede that people can come to understand the ideas and values of a society by way of observing its people’s appearance and behavior to some extent. Nonetheless, in a sense the speaker overlooks the limitation of such method and the importance of other aspects reflecting a society. In the final analysis, we may safely reach the conclusion that we should learn fully about a society’s values and ideas through several respects such as its culture, history, moral regulation and law and so forth, besides the way people look, dress and act.

梦想在路上UID：2812986

改 01小C
In modern society, clothing is not just simply function as the covering for human body, it also reflects a person's personality, state, and religion. For a group of people in a certain society, their clothing also work as the cover of【不太明白，没见过，望赐教】 the society's culture. By observing them, the culture behind the fabrics comes to the surface学习了！.

What people wear for daily life tells much about the feature of the time. Today, men may sometimes choose to wear men's【去掉好了，觉得不需要在强调了，男人选男衣是常识】 skirts such as togas or kilts好专业的词！, especially on ceremonial occasions. Such garments 生词学习！, however, were worn as normal daily clothing by men in previous times. In modern industrialized nations, women are more likely to wear makeup【是说擦化妆品吗？可以用wear吗，不太懂？】, jewellery, and colorful clothing, while in very traditional cultures women are protected from men's gazes by modest dress. Now, take a glimpse at our streets, Ray-bans【这是虾米呀？】 are coming back to fashion from the old day in 60s, mixing with today's tends of colorful leggings, creating something combine with old fashion and shape edge. What we can tell about that? The fashion of the clothing is the label of every period.
//服饰反映时代特色
Some dresses are the symbol of a race or nation. In some countries people still wear ethnic or national dress on special occasions or【这句话好多or，建议这里改成逗号】 in certain roles or occupations and people in certain religion wear dresses for their faith. Some Muslim women wear a veil when they go out to show their chastity or virginity. Jewish ritual also requires rending of one's upper garment as a sign of mourning. Jains wear unstitched cloth pieces when performing religious ceremonies. The unstitched cloth signifies unified and complete devotion to the task at hand, with no digression. Those clothing custom embody the idea of a nation and reflect their culture.
//服饰反映种族和民族。列举了三个不同民族。后两个例子很特别，科普了！
By the early years of the 21st century, western clothing styles had, to some extent, become international styles. The process of cultural dissemination has perpetuated over the centuries as Western media corporations have penetrated markets throughout the world, spreading Western culture and styles. It becomes hard to distinguish the difference of people in different society from the clothing in some formal occasions. While in people's daily life, the combination of global fashion trends and local style is normal. For example, most Korean men and women have adopted Western-style dress for daily wear, but will still wear traditional hanboks好生僻的词！on special occasions, like weddings and cultural holidays. Items of Western dress may also appear worn or accessorized in distinctive, non-Western ways. A Tongan man may combine a used T-shirt with a Tongan wrapped skirt, or tupenu专业词汇！.
//西方服饰引领国际，传统和现代结合。【开头并没有很明确的概括全段，到第三句才体现，建议在首句补充上会使整段脉络更清晰。】
In conclusion, the clothing people wear may function as a form of adornment and an expression of personal taste or style. And also reflect a society's ideas and values.

总结：小C全文列举了很多例子来说明，很生动形象，而且有好多相当专业的词汇，学习学习啦！有点分歧的是文章思路方面，小C是从服饰一个角度来讲，可能是觉得能分析的更深入，以小见大；而小V喜欢全面开花，面面俱到；其实这个也不算什么建议，本来就仁者见仁，完全不一样的思路，启发了！总之小C全文写的很流畅，语言能力很不错的！

----------------------学习的分割线-------------------------------------------------------------------------
改 07ITY
Can we know a person's attitudes and interests by observing his appearance and behaviour【behavior】? In my point of view, in some cases, the way people look, dress, and act do indicate his/her attitudes and interests, but in other cases, they are not representative even counterproductive. Moreover, we are not allowed to judge a society's ideas and values just by observing its people.

"We can tell a person from what he/she wear." said by a famous fashion expert. However, this word is not absolute but relative right. In the United State, African American are keen on wearing hip-hop style clothes. In Japan, white-collar employees prefer wearing in【去掉】 Western dresses and leather shoes. In China, national minority would like wearing their particular costume. From the examples I enumerate above, we can see their interests, culture and habits. While in some other cases, people's appearance will confuse us. Is it possible for us to tell everyone's attitudes and interests when we are crowed by students in uniforms? Is there any possibility to tell every worker's attitudes and interests when we walk into a factory? Thus, people's appearance may be not representative to reveal people's attitudes and interests.【这句容易给人误解为全段总结，乍一看吓一跳，和首句自相矛盾，建议换种表达或者就把正反两点都总结进去。】
//前半段写什么人穿什么衣服，后半段写穿什么衣服不能看出是什么人。
I turn next to the way people act. Sometimes, people's attitudes and interests are revealed by their behaviour【又错啦】
including the way they live, the way they talk, the way they act, and so on. For instance, a person characterized by bookworm is definitely one that value knowledge. And, a person who is always talking about Porsche, Ferrari is clearly a big car fan. Furthermore, a person who dances everywhere even in public is absolutely one whose life is full of music and dance. However, in other respects people's behaviour cannot suggest what they want to do but what they have to do. 【你的意思是行为不能真实的反映人的内心而只能流于表面，光看第一句有点不明白，看了例子会比较好理解。】When a girl often attends a singing class, can we conclude that she is a music lover? It is probable that she is forced by her mother, or she wants to get a better job and earn more money in future? Thus, people's behaviour may be counterproductive to reveal people's attitudes and interests.
//前半段行为可以反映人，后半段行为不能反映人想做什么而是不得不做什么
Finally, the statement unfairly generalized that through the appearance and behaviour of a society's people we can know about its ideas and values. For example, when some foreigners first came to China and happened to see a group of people who were in luxuries, is it fair for them to assert that one of the Chinese people's values is having a extravagant life? Or if they happened to see a group of people who were in traditional costume, is it fair for them to conclude that one of the Chines【Chinese】 diplomatic ideas is to seclud【seclude】 the country from the outside world? As far as we all know, society's ideas and values are formed by lots of aspects such as, history, social system, economic development and so on. For instance, to understand Chinese dietary habits, it is necessary for us to experience almost all kinds of food there, and learn the Chinese history, in which way, we can totally comprehend Chinese people's values on food and why they use chopsticks but not forks. Therefore,to know a society's values and ideas better, we need to study the history and the development of it instead of only observing the society's people.【好！总结的很到位】
//人的外貌行为不能反映社会。社会由多方面组成。
Overall, appearance and behaviour of people, who are free to wear or act themselves, can reveal their real attitudes and interests. Yet confined people's clothes and habits belie their true attitudes and interests. Furthermore, whether we can judge a person from his/her appearance or not, we cannot judge a society's ideas and values from its people's appearance and behaviour.

总结：先说个大问题，ITY你全篇都把behavior写错了，应该不是笔误，还是个关键词，要特别注意哦！全文分析的很全面，尤其是前两点都按照相反两种情况来解释，主要是在逻辑连接和过渡方面还不够，使得文章有点散，整体思路很不错，还很会用反问加排比句的说，学习了！