[1010G]8月中旬上海YY作文进阶小组argument45

cant0577UID: 2781482

[1010G]8月中旬上海YY作文进阶小组

周一晚11:00 之前交 A45

45The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.
"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."

稻草人 改  cant0577

cant0577 改 西西多小姐

西西多小姐 改 稻草人

楼上的把自己的I 以WORD 的形式传给楼下的   
次日下午2:00 前   楼上在贴里贴上他人改的作业，
               然后再贴上自改文，根据别人建议修改自己的文


请组员自己在交作业的前一天晚上去占楼。一人占两楼。一楼发自己的作文，和自己的改文。一楼发别人的改文（请注明是改的谁的）。楼下改楼上的，楼上的把自己的稿子和改好的稿子QQ传给楼下的


形式如下

第一楼： 提纲 思路 逻辑树
                  习作
     ···················································
      自己修改的文

第二楼：   楼下帮忙改的文
         指出逻辑，语法上的问题，例子


楼上的把自己的I 以WORD 的形式传给楼下的   
次日下午2:00 前 楼下的把楼上的修改文发给楼上，
               楼上在贴里贴上他人改的作业，
               然后再贴上自改文，根据别人建议修改自己的文


请组员自己在交作业的前一天晚上去占楼。一人占两楼。一楼发自己的作文，和自己的改文。一楼发别人的改文（请注明是改的谁的）。楼下改楼上的，楼上的把自己的稿子和改好的稿子QQ传给楼下的


形式如下

第一楼： 提纲 思路 逻辑树
                  习作
     ···················································
      自己修改的文

第二楼：   楼下帮忙改的文
         指出逻辑，语法上的问题，例子

elvisxiaoUID: 2735076

提纲：1.仅凭当地猎人的报告，不能说明鹿的数量是在减少，可能是因为鹿的活动与猎人的活动不在同一时间或者最近猎人捕获的鹿的数量很少而已，     而且有可能是因为鹿找到新的栖息地。
         2.全球变暖并非能导致冰面全部融化，这个可能对鹿的栖息地没影响，或者仅对低纬度地区影响大对于像极地地区这样的高纬度地区几乎没影响。
         3.即使承认以上说法正确，也并不能说是因为不能按照原来路线迁徙导致的。他们可能会选择新的路线去需找食物。
TOPIC: ARGUMENT45 

The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.
"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea." WORDS: 417 DATE: 2010/5/31 22:51:04

In this argument, the arguer conclude that failing to follow the arctic deer's age-old migration patterns cause the decline of the deer population. To substantial the conclusion, the arguer cites the following evidences that reports from local hunters show the decrease of the deer population and at the same time, the global warming trends bring about the sea ice to melt.However, this argument suffers from several critical fallacies.

First and foremost, the arguer neglect the creditability of the report from the local hunter. As a hunter, he or she clearly could complain the declining deer when hunting less quarries because of his decrease skills or the deer's infrequent activity. Furthermore, what is most likely is that the arctic deer find a new habitat, where is glutted with sufficient plants and own the adopted climate and situation, hundreds miles away from the age-old survival areas. This can also cause the result that local hunter respond to the decline in deer population.Thereby, only offering more compelling evidences show the deer population is indeed declining. 

Secondly, the arguer connect the decrease of deer population with the global warming trends far-fetched.They just generate at the same time,however, it cannot illustrate the cause relationship between them. Maybe, the global warming would not completely melt the sea ice which has little influence to the survival of arctic deer and the reality is also the same as we assume. Additionally, the global warming may have considerable effect on some areas where relatively lie in low latitude, whereas the high latitude such as the arctic region will not nearly be melt. In this case, the global warming trends seem to have no relation with the decline in deer population. 

Finally, even if we assume that the deer population are indeed declining and the global warming trends affect the habitat they survive, we still cannot draw the arguer's conclusion. Although melting frozen sea cause the arctic deer could not migrate to follow their age-old patterns, these cannot go so far bring about the diminish in population.The deer still may choose other paths to seek for the plants for sustaining the survival. Thus, the decline of the deer population, if so, is up to many other factors rather than only the global warming trends.

In sum, the argument is not well reasoned. To make it logically acceptable,the arguer would have to demonstrate that the precise evidences show that the deer population are really decreasing and the global warming break off the only way to seek for their plants.

elvisxiaoUID: 2735076

Grounding on the editorial in a wildlife journal, the speaker makes an assertion that the decline in arctic deer populations results from deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea, based on the reports from local hunters, the decline(declining) number of deer and the recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt. However, after taking a second attentively thought, we can easily make a judgment that the speaker's conclusion without overall consideration is illogical and lakes the sufficient statistics to support, which just depends on unilateral accordance.

In the first place, the speaker, in order to prove the decline(declining) population of deer in Canada's arctic region, provides reports from local hunters. However, these reports seeming to be credible, in fact, lack evidences to support. In this article, there is no reliable explanation how the local hunters make a decision that the number of deer comes down. So, we can assume that maybe arctic deer changing the line of their age-old migration patterns leads to hunter coming across fewer deer, rather than the decline of the population. Therefore, the reports about the decline in arcitc deer populations are not highly reliable for it fails to provide any statistics to support the hunters words. Thus, without better evidence, the article hardly convinces me of the decline of deer population.

In the second place, the speaker considers that the global warming trends having caused the see ice to melt makes great impact on the deer's age-old migration patterns, which leads to the decline of the deer populations. However, in the article, we hardly find any sufficient scientific statistic proved to indicate the increase of temperature in Canada's arctic region. (这里可以多论述一点)Thereby, we have no credible accordance to assert the ice in Canada's arctic region to melt, causing the Arctic deer's age-old migration patterns to be destroyed. So, the speaker could not make such incredible conclusion based on insufficient data, which hardly assures me.

Even if the decline of deer indeed happens and the temperature in Canada's arctic region rise, it is still lacking strong evidence to prove the decline resulting from the recent global warming trends, which hold by the speaker to support his conclusion.
For there are existing many potential possibilities, such as the excessive hunts leading the number of deer to decrease magnificently , or maybe a serious disease breaking out in recent time between arctic deer, and so forth. In short, lacking evidence of a sufficiently representative sample, the author cannot justifiably rely on the study to draw any conclusion whatsoever.

Based on the above analyze, we clearly realize the irrationality of speaker's assertion. In order to establish a strong conclusion, speaker should provide more statistics to prove the truth of decline of deer, and list sufficient scientific reports to illustrate the influence from the global warming trends to the population decline in arctic deer.

语言很好啊,我也学会了好多很好的表达呢.
论述部分,特别是中间段,论述的觉得有点少,我把文章中的论述核心部分标出来了,感觉仅说几句话就略过去了.
觉得重点在于the arguer他怎么错的,去攻击他的the line of reasoning.

cant0577UID: 2781482

Reports form the hunters ~~~ decline of deer
前提
鹿的数目降低
加上 global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt 背景 ~~~~ 鹿的age-old migration patterns 遭破坏
推出
鹿的数目降低是因为不能走age-old migration patterns，
前提，猎人的证词没有依据，
背景
环境的温度升温
没有证据证明
当地的温度变化，冰融化，路线改变。
即使这两者都成立，也存在别的因素使鹿的数目降低
TOPIC: ARGUMENT45 - The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."
WORDS: 484
TIME: 01:49:55
DATE: 2010/5/31 21:54:58

Grounding on the editorial in a wildlife journal, the speaker makes an assertion that the decline in arctic deer populations results from deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea, based on the reports from local hunters, the decline number of deer and the recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt. However, after taking a second attentively thought, we can easily make a judgment that the speaker's conclusion without overall consideration is illogical and lakes the sufficient statistics to support, which just depends on unilateral accordance.

In the first place, the speaker, in order to prove the decline population of deer in Canada's arctic region, provides reports from local hunters. However, these reports seeming to be credible, in fact, lack evidences to support. In this article, there is no reliable explanation how the local hunters make a decision that the number of deer comes down. So, we can assume that maybe arctic deer changing the line of their age-old migration patterns leads to hunter coming across fewer deer, rather than the decline of the population. Therefore, the reports about the decline in arcitc deer populations are not highly reliable for it fails to provide any statistics to support the hunters words. Thus, without better evidence, the article hardly convinces me of the decline of deer population.

In the second place, the speaker considers that the global warming trends having caused the see ice to melt makes great impact on the deer's age-old migration patterns, which leads to the decline of the deer populations. However, in the article, we hardly find any sufficient scientific statistic proved to indicate the increase of temperature in Canada's arctic region. Thereby, we have no credible accordance to assert the ice in Canada's arctic region to melt, causing the Arctic deer's age-old migration patterns to be destroyed. So, the speaker could not make such incredible conclusion based on insufficient data, which hardly assures me.

Even if the decline of deer indeed happens and the temperature in Canada's arctic region rise, it is still lacking strong evidence to prove the decline resulting from the recent global warming trends, which hold by the speaker to support his conclusion.
For there are existing many potential possibilities, such as the excessive hunts leading the number of deer to decrease magnificently , or maybe a serious disease breaking out in recent time between arctic deer, and so forth. In short, lacking evidence of a sufficiently representative sample, the author cannot justifiably rely on the study to draw any conclusion whatsoever.

Based on the above analyze, we clearly realize the irrationality of speaker's assertion. In order to establish a strong conclusion, speaker should provide more statistics to prove the truth of decline of deer, and list sufficient scientific reports to illustrate the influence from the global warming trends to the population decline in arctic deer.

西西多小姐UID: 2789387

This article concluded that there is a decline in the number of arctic deer, resulting from the recent global warming. To justify the conclusion, the author of the article cited various evidences that the melted sea ice, caused directly by global warming, seriously disturbed the deer’s living habits of traveling islands, thus yield the fall of the arctic deer population. Careful examination of the evidence, however, reveals that it leads little credible support to the conclusion.

To begin with, the sea ice melting is not necessarily due to the trend of global warming. It is entirely possible that the phenomenon is simply the result of the seasons swift from winter to spring. It is common sense that even though it is in Arctic, the temperature more or less changes with the change of the seasons. Since, the author fails to rule out these and other possible explanations for the sea ice melting, what he claimed is therefore untenable.

Moreover, the argument rests on the assumption that the scope of melted sea ice is adequately enough to prevent the deer from traveling between islands. The author provides no evidence to substantiate the assumption. Lacking such evidence, it is entirely possible that the slightly melted sea ice is no big deal for the deer. The mere facts and statistics to show that the sea ice melting is dangerously serious to some degrees hardly suffices to prove that the melting will avoidable cause the changes in the immigration patterns of the deer.

Even assuming that the sea ice melting is the result of global warming and the immigration patterns of the deer is forced to change because of the melted sea ice, the author provide no firm evidence that the decline of arctic deer population is due to the change of their immigration patterns. It is known to all that food chains, the quality of the water and gas, the rival as well as enemies in a certain cycle, and so on all serve as important factors for the life of a certain species. The factors coexist and interact. Therefore it is hardly to figure out which is the chief factor and it is also impossible to say that it is the only factor. The author argued the changed immigration pattern result in the decline of deer without considering other factors is obviously unconvincing.

Finally, the report cited in the article might be problematic in 2 respects: firstly, the scientific accuracy of the survey remains doubts. We are not informed of the exact percentage of the decline. Neither are the scale and time period of the survey. Secondly, the article falsely equates the view of the local hunters to the whole. Additionally, it is entirely possible that the opinions of local hunters are just a kind of feelings or attitude without scientific research which even might be misleading. In the events, the report in the article is unreliable for the purpose of drawing any conclusion that the number of the arctic deer is decline.

In sum, the arguments are logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as they stand. To bolster them the author must provide clear evidence that (1) it is the trend of global warming leads to the sea ice melting (2) the sea ice melting already become the obstacle in the deer’s traveling (3) the impossibility of immigration is the primary reason for the decline. Plus, more information about the condition of the arctic deer.

西西多小姐UID: 2789387

Grounding on the editorial in a wildlife journal, the speaker makes an assertion that the decline in arctic deer populations results from deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea, （不确定可不可以原文直接照抄的说）based on the reports from local hunters of the decline number of deer（the reports from local hunter 的内容就是the decline of deer in number）and the recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt. However, after taking a second attentively thought, we can easily make a judgment that the speaker's（the author 会不会好一点？） conclusion without overall consideration is illogical and lakes（lack of） sufficient statistics to support, which just depends on unilateral accordance.

In the first place, the speaker, in order to prove the decline population of deer in Canada's arctic region, provides reports from local hunters. However, these reports seeming to be credible, in fact, lack evidences to support.  (用in fact 转折力度不是很强烈，把however 放到中间怎样？) In this article, there is no reliable explanation how the local hunters make a decision（draw the conclusion） that the number of deer comes down. So, we can assume that maybe arctic deer changing the line of their age-old migration patterns（不晓得问题在哪里，就是有点怪有点重复） leads to hunter coming across fewer deer, rather than the decline of the population. Therefore, the reports about the decline in arcitc deer populations are not highly reliable for it fails to provide any statistics to support the hunters words. Thus（thus 能这样用吗？我肤浅了）, without better evidences, the article hardly convinces me of the decline of deer population.

In the second place, the speaker considers that the global warming trends having caused the sea ice to melt makes great impact on the deer's age-old migration patterns, which leads to the decline of the deer populations. However, in the article, we hardly find any sufficient scientific statistic proved to indicate the increase of temperature in Canada's arctic region. Thereby, we have no credible accordance to assert the melted ice in Canada's arctic region caused the destroyed Arctic deer's age-old migration patterns. So, the speaker could not make such incredible conclusion based on insufficient data, which hardly assures me.

Even if the decline of deer indeed happens and the temperature in Canada's arctic region rise, it is still lacking strong evidence to prove the decline resulting from the recent global warming trends, which hold by the speaker to support his conclusion.
For there are existing many potential possibilities, such as the excessive hunts leading the number of deer to decrease magnificently , or maybe a serious disease breaking out in recent time between arctic deer, and so forth. In short, lacking evidence of a sufficiently representative sample, the author cannot justifiably rely on the report(study 是一种研究，比较严谨的) to draw any conclusion whatsoever.（这一段的假设很充分 有力）

Based on the above analyze, we clearly realize the irrationality of speaker's assertion.（要不要说的婉转点？） In order to establish a strong conclusion, speaker should provide more statistics to prove the truth of decline of deer, and list sufficient scientific reports to illustrate the influence from the global warming trends to the population decline in arctic deer.

西西多小姐UID: 2789387

改错了~~就再改一篇吧

西西多小姐UID: 2789387

In this argument, the arguer conclude that failing to follow the arctic deer's age-old migration patterns cause the decline of the deer population. To substantial（substantial adj.改为substantiate） the conclusion, the arguer cited the following evidences: reports from local hunters which show the decrease of the deer population and the global warming trends bring about the sea ice to melt. However, this argument suffers from several critical fallacies.

First and foremost, the arguer neglect( I think it is a kind of over-value) the creditability of the report from the local hunter. As a hunter, he or she clearly could complain the declining deer when hunting less quarries because of his decrease skills or the deer's infrequent activity. Furthermore, what is most likely is that(it is more likely) the arctic deer find a new habitat, where is glutted with sufficient plants and own the adopted climate and situation, hundreds miles away from the age-old survival areas. This can also cause the result that local hunter respond to the decline in deer population. Thereby, only offering more compelling evidences show the deer population is indeed declining.(only………………can we……的句型，不完整)（两种可能性论证很具体 充分）

Secondly, the arguer connect the decrease of deer population with the global warming trends far-fetched. They just generate at the same time,however, it cannot illustrate the correspond (相应的一致的)relationship between them. Maybe, the global warming would not completely melt the sea ice which has little influence to the survival of arctic deer and the reality is also the same as we assume.（这一段有很多点可展开 却未展开） Additionally, the global warming may have considerable effect on some areas where relatively lie in low latitude, whereas the high latitude such as the arctic region will not nearly be melt. In this case, the global warming trends seem to have no relation with the decline in deer population.

Finally, even if we assume that the deer population is indeed declining and the global warming trends affect the habitat they survive, we still cannot draw the arguer's conclusion. Although melting frozen sea cause the arctic deer could not migrate to follow their age-old patterns, these cannot go so far bring about the diminish in population（population能有diminish 形容否？）. The deer still may choose other paths to seek for the plants for sustaining the survival.（无法充分论证鹿的数量的减少不是由于冰的融化） Thus, the decline of the deer population, if so, is up to many other factors rather than only the global warming trends.（应该展开）

In sum, the argument is not well reasoned. To make it logically acceptable,the arguer would have to demonstrate that the precise evidences show that the deer population are really decreasing and the global warming break off the only way to seek for their plants.

elvisxiaoUID: 2735076

谢谢 西西多的修改  很中肯

cant0577UID: 2781482

改西西多小姐
学习

This article concluded that there is a decline in the number of arctic deer, resulting from the recent global warming. 点明文章的主要问题To justify the conclusion, the author of the article cited various evidences that the melted sea ice, caused directly by global warming, seriously disturbed the deer’s living habits of traveling islands, thus yield the fall of the arctic deer population.指出作者的推理依据，让ETS知道你主要攻击点，发现逻辑错误，学习 Careful examination of the evidence, however, reveals that it leads little credible support to the conclusion 恩 学习咯.

To begin with, the sea ice melting is not necessarily due to the trend of global warming. It is entirely possible that the phenomenon is simply the result of the seasons swift from winter to spring.攻击点一It is common sense that even though it is in Arctic, the temperature more or less changes with the change of the seasons. Since, the author fails to rule out these and other possible explanations for the sea ice melting, what he claimed is therefore untenable.

Moreover, the argument rests on the assumption that the scope of melted sea ice is adequately enough to prevent the deer from traveling between islands.攻击点2 The author provides no evidence to substantiate the assumption. Lacking such evidence, it is entirely possible that the slightly melted sea ice is no big deal for the deer. The mere facts and statistics show that the sea ice melting is dangerously serious. to some degrees hardly suffices to prove that the melting will avoidable cause the changes in the immigration patterns of the deer.

Even assuming that the sea ice melting is the result of global warming and the immigration patterns of the deer is forced to change because of the melted sea ice, the author provide no firm evidence that the decline of arctic deer population is due to the change of their immigration patterns.攻击点3 It is known to all that food chains, the quality of the water and gas, the rival as well as enemies in a certain cycle, and so on all serve as important factors for the life of a certain species. The factors coexist and interact. Therefore it is hardly to figure out which is the chief factor and it is also impossible to say that it is the only factor. The author argued the changed immigration pattern result in the decline of deer without considering other factors is obviously unconvincing.

Finally, the report cited in the article might be problematic in 2 respects: firstly, the scientific accuracy of the survey remains doubts. We are not informed of the exact percentage of the decline. Neither are the scale and time period of the survey. Secondly, the article falsely equates the view of the local hunters to the whole. Additionally, it is entirely possible that the opinions of local hunters are just a kind of feelings or attitude without scientific research which even might be misleading. In the events, the report in the article is unreliable for the purpose of drawing any conclusion that the number of the arctic deer is decline.

In sum, the arguments are logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as they stand. To bolster them the author must provide clear evidence that (1) it is the trend of global warming leads to the sea ice melting (2) the sea ice melting already become the obstacle in the deer’s traveling (3) the impossibility of immigration is the primary reason for the decline. Plus，more information about the condition of the arctic deer.

cant0577UID: 2781482

改 稻草人

提纲：1.仅凭当地猎人的报告，不能说明鹿的数量是在减少，可能是因为鹿的活动与猎人的活动不在同一时间或者最近猎人捕获的鹿的数量很少而已，     而且有可能是因为鹿找到新的栖息地。
         2.全球变暖并非能导致冰面全部融化，这个可能对鹿的栖息地没影响，或者仅对低纬度地区影响大对于像极地地区这样的高纬度地区几乎没影响。
         3.即使承认以上说法正确，也并不能说是因为不能按照原来路线迁徙导致的。他们可能会选择新的路线去需找食物。
TOPIC: ARGUMENT45


In this argument, the arguer conclude that failing to follow the arctic deer's age-old migration patterns cause the decline of the deer population. To substantial the conclusion, the arguer cites the following evidences that reports from local hunters show the decrease of the deer population and at the same time, the global warming trends bring about the sea ice to melt. .However, this argument suffers from several critical fallacies.

First and foremost, the arguer neglects the creditability of the report from the local hunter. As a hunter, he or she clearly could complain the declining deer when hunting less quarries because of his decrease skills or the deer's infrequent activity. Furthermore, what is most likely is that the arctic deer find a new habitat, where is glutted with sufficient plants and own the adopted climate and situation, hundreds miles away from the age-old survival areas. This can also cause the result that local hunter respond to the decline in deer population. Thereby, only offering more compelling evidences show the deer population is indeed declining. 论证非常有力啊，从猎人的态度到关于鹿的迁移，合乎常理又能论证观点的错误，学习学习。

Secondly, the arguer connects the decrease of deer population with the global warming trends far-fetched. They just generate at the same time, however, it cannot illustrate the cause relationship between them. Maybe, the global warming would not completely melt the sea ice which has little influence to the survival of arctic deer and the reality is also the same as we assume. Additionally, the global warming may have considerable effect on some areas where relatively lie in low latitude, whereas the high latitude such as the arctic region will not nearly be melt. In this case, the global warming trends seem to have no relation with the decline in deer population.

Finally, even if we assume that the deer population areis indeed declining and the global warming trends affect the habitat they survive, we still cannot draw the arguer's conclusion. Although melting frozen sea cause the arctic deer could not migrate to follow their age-old patterns, these cannot go so far bring about the diminish in population. The deer still may choose other paths to seek for the plants for sustaining the survival. Thus, the decline of the deer population, if so, is up to many other factors rather than only the global warming trends.啊，厉害啊，表达同样的意思，稻草人就能表的这么好，学习学习啊

In sum, the argument is not well reasoned. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer would have to demonstrate that the precise evidences show that the deer population are really decreasing and the global warming break off the only way to seek for their plants.

cant0577UID: 2781482

稻草人说的很对啊，能发现A的问题，但是感觉就是不能很好的论证。。。。感觉一些套路话都没有用上，哎，这个是其次，论证不是很充分，是关键。西西说的很对啊，我是在没话写就不断地重复那几个错误点，哎，还要向两位好好学习。

额，身为组长没有提早交修改稿，自我惩罚一下，接下来，我每次多改2篇文！！！抱歉！！

今天很开心，看到大家都认真对待作业的修改了！！以后继续一起努力哦！！

cant0577UID: 2781482

提纲整理：
Cant0577 ：
1 Reports form the hunters ~~~ decline of deer推论   前提 +
2global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt
背景~~~~鹿生活区收到影响 推论
》》》》》》》   鹿的数目减少是因为不能按传统方式迁徙  结论
     
  前提：猎人的证词没有依据 deer 可能改变生活路线
  背景： 没有证据证明当地的温度变化，因此无法证明冰融化，更不能说明鹿的路线改变，
  如果这两者都成立，存在别的因素导致鹿的死亡

稻草人：
提纲：1.仅凭当地猎人的报告，不能说明鹿的数量是在减少，可能是因为鹿的活动与猎人的活动不在同一时间或者最近猎人捕获的鹿的数量很少而已，     而且有可能是因为鹿找到新的栖息地。
         2.全球变暖并非能导致冰面全部融化，这个可能对鹿的栖息地没影响，或者仅对低纬度地区影响大对于像极地地区这样的高纬度地区几乎没影响。
         3.即使承认以上说法正确，也并不能说是因为不能按照原来路线迁徙导致的。他们可能会选择新的路线去需找食物

西西
1 the sea ice melting is not necessarily due to the trend of global warming.
2 scope of melted sea ice is adequately enough to prevent the deer from traveling between islands.
3 Even assuming that the sea ice melting is the result of global warming and the immigration patterns of the deer is forced to change because of the melted sea ice, the author provide no firm evidence that the decline of arctic deer population is due to the change of their immigration patterns.

我分析了一下，我和稻草人对A的攻击点基本一致，但是西西的第二点，和我们的有些出入，西西好像承认了global warming trends have caused the ice melt in Canada’s artic region. 我个人觉得这本身就是有待攻击的问题。所以觉得西西这一点攻击不是很最佳的，可以先说 会不会引起冰融化，即使冰融化了也不一定会影响到deer。 这是我的想法如果有什么不对，西西就直接说哦。大家一起学习的嘛！

还有关于那个 thus同义词 副词 adv. 因此;因而

therefore consequently hence accordingly so

金山上的解释