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[主题活动] issue38&argument53----1010G欢迎拍文作文修改小组6月18日作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-6-17 21:45:25 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 fchenyan 于 2010-6-17 21:46 编辑

issue38
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"In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
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argument53
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Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.

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感谢小马提供

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发表于 2010-6-18 16:31:37 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 fchenyan 于 2010-6-18 16:39 编辑

TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 521          TIME: 00:38:03          DATE: 2010-06-18 16:26:30

It is true that we are enjoying an age of television, but I do not agree with the saying that reading books is not as important as it once was and people can not learn as much by watching television as they can by reading.

Firstly, reading book is still important in the age of television. People read so that they can enjoy the feeling of surfing in the ocean of knowledge, while the television is just a machine controlled by some groups and most of their aims are profits. There are so many things can only show by words but not by pictures and voices. People may prefer images provided by television, but words in books give us more space to think, and more meanings to understand. The television always wants to fill our eyes and ears by or kinds of beautiful sceneries and music, but people in this century are so busy that they need more time to relax and more chance to think freely but not controlled by such a box, that means we need books as much as we need breath. So the place of books can not be replaced by television.

Secondly, television is not a teacher as good as books. That because books just stay there waiting for you but televisions want to sell you all kinds of things all the time. When we are watching TV, it always want us to buy but not to learn, may be learn to spend money. Have you met such kind of teacher? Television is not to be blamed since there must be enough ads to pay for the running of programs, but learn by watching is not a wise idea. However, there are so many students of any age are forgoing there textbooks and wasting time watching TV with the excuse of learning. Once lost in watching TV, people will find it is difficult to read books silently and think deeply, so it is the television that makes us distracted, and parents should limit children's time of watching TV. Watching television is just a way of amusement and rest, and we can not rely on it to learn.

Thirdly, we should treat television properly. People may notice that there are more and more programs are trying to teach, we may learn how to cook, how to speak foreign languages, how to travel, how to take care of babies and even how to get along with others. That is to say we can learn by watching television, even so we can not learn as much by watching as by reading. Since books of human being make up an ocean of knowledge, so we can learn as much as we want by reading and we can also make such ocean wider and deeper by our endless research. But the language of images offered by such a machine can not catch up with the language of our people's with history of thousands of year.

In summary, in the age of television, we should cherish our books and opportunities to read and focusing on reading books if we want to learn.

————————————————————————————————————
感谢肖宇及小马同学在我不在的时候为大家布置的作业,这篇issue的题目总的来说算是简单,因为可以让大家都有的话说。
其次,在写的时候觉得自己的逻辑不是很清楚,因为大多数的时候都想用五段式,也就是开头->Firstly->Secondly->Thirdly->结尾,觉得我的惯用格式足够死板,期待大家的新思路以及对我的犀利批判。

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发表于 2010-6-18 20:54:32 |显示全部楼层

一天两篇,写得很恶心的感觉,主要是因为自己此举匮乏。

TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
WORDS: 475
TIME: 00:38:44
DATE: 2010-06-18 20:40:26


The arguer draw the conclusion that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life based on a research about a group of only 25 infants. There are some weak points inside the author's prove of the result.

Firstly, the research carried out thirteen years ago can not provide enough information about the relationship between when they were conceived and the increased level of melatonin. Early autumn is just a time mothers in different places on the earth, have difference in health conditions or ages may have different levels of melatonin. On the other side, the studied group of 25 infants contains so few members that we can not make a judgment about all infants or all people since the studied group of people may live in a small place affected by a factor only exist there.

Secondly, even these infants were more likely to be conceived in early autumn, they may not be affected by increased levels of melatonin. Since these infants' mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight, but the just conceived babies' may have not brain until the increased levels decreased to normal levels. What's more, the infants conceived that time may also be exposed to other kind of thing that caused their shyness.

Thirdly, there's no evidence to show that the shyness of more than half of the studied group of people were result from that during infancy. The author cited a follow-up study conducted earlier this year with the unverified assumption that infants are shy who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. If such infants were identified themselves as shy, their shyness may not last all the time during their growing up.

Fourthly, the follow-up study conducted earlier this year can not prove the shyness continues into later life. In mention of the later life, people can not make sure what will happen on the basic what happened when these members of the group were thirteen years old. That is the author can not draw such a conclusion about big conception from a result of a signal point of time. If the studied group of people's brains were affected when they were just conceived, the influences may not last so long. The people's brains may be affected by other thing they are exposed to, so we do not know what happened during the past thirteen years and what will happen in their later life.

In summary, this argument based on a study of group that is too small, based on an inadequately proved assumption, taken a thing happened at the same time as a direct cause, draw a common conclusion from a short time.

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发表于 2010-6-18 21:00:55 |显示全部楼层
题目:ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
字数:459          用时:01:00:00          日期:2010-6-18 下午 08:48:40

We may find that it is not a dream again to watch prominent stars and idols through TV channels or Internet when compared with through pictures in the past. It might be attempting for common people to accept that in the age of television reading books is no longer significant as it was and they can learn as much by watching TV programs as they can by reading books. However, I take some exceptions when it comes to TV takes place of books.

Obviously, TV-as an highly developed technology and currently is still achieving new goals-plays a unique role in accurate and vivid description of events and scenes, especially those being happened. Some beautiful scenery that just can be imagined in the mind now can expressed as photos through TV programs. We can get the information at the first time without being present and understand the things happened all over the world in a day. Admittedly, ordinary people nowadays can enjoy Olympic Games like athletes who are taking part in the games at the same time instead of waiting for the next day's newspapers. Thus, TV makes our life developed in a vivid and accurate way.

However, TV cannot provide all the knowledge that books almost can. As we know, on one level, history and some ancient literature are handed down from generations to generations through books, and in expressing history , TV must be based on these books, if we drop off reading books and relying on watching TVs, we may lose many precious cultural  essences. On the other hand, reading books is more convenient than watching TVs due to the flexibility of books with no limit in time and places, if one is not in when World Cup is showing broadcast, he may miss it, while with a book or newspaper, one can read at anytime anywhere.

What is more, TV cannot describe human ideas and thoughts, and scientific theories which can only learn from books. Even though it can express some lively pictures or scenes, for mathematical theory, classical literary, it may be trapped in a dilemma. For instance, Einstein, who is the father of theory of relativity, his classical theories described in books rather than TV programs because TVs could not find a better way to show his ideas about universe. Under such circumstance, books is also a notable way to pass on knowledge.

To sum up with the above analysis, we may conclude that both reading books and watching TVs are necessary in learning much and beneficial information. Books most times offer an academic way to get the door of knowledge opened while TV may serve better as a way of entertainment. We can take full advantages of them according to different situations in order to benefit as much as we can.

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发表于 2010-6-18 21:03:30 |显示全部楼层
题目:ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
字数:345          用时:00:42:44          日期:2010-6-18 下午 08:48:40

In this argument the arguer conclude that increased levels of melatonin (m) before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. However, as far as I am concerned, I find there are several logical flaws in arguer's assertion as I present follows.

First of all, the argument is based on an unjustified research which indicates no evidence about essential factors about 25 infants such as race, region. It is quite possible that these 25 infants come from same region and their mild distress has close relevance to local climate, water source or special food customs. What is more, another cause that if they are in same race, there is possibility that their genes pool contain a substance which may lead to this mild distress to unfamiliar stimuli.

Secondly, the survey shows that m(known as a hormone) will affect some brain functions, there is no sufficient evidence demonstrates that m will lead to shyness and continuing to later life. Additionally, when talked about m is production of their pregnant mothers, this assertion lacks of evidence that this kind of hormone production will pass onto children through mothers and get into children's body to influence functions of their brains. Therefore, without rulling out these evidences, it is cannot justifiable concluded that m is the cause of shyness.

Thirdly, even if the shyness has something to do with m, it is nor fair to attribute all the causes to m, after all, the research was surveyed 13 years ago and the arguer ignores other possibility that lead to shyness. It is also quite possible that children's shyness is a result of their living environment and family education. Lacking concerning what these factors may have effect on children's shyness, what the arguer states above is unpersuasive.

To sum up, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To strengthen it the speaker must provide more sufficient factors that lead to shyness besides m and evidence that infants in conceived will be affected by m through mothers. What is more, the author must assure me with more information about the group of 25infants.

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发表于 2010-6-19 00:01:35 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 clover213 于 2010-6-19 13:45 编辑

本帖最后由 fchenyan 于 2010-6-18 16:39 编辑

TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 521          TIME: 00:38:03          DATE: 2010-06-18 16:26:30

It is true that we are enjoying an age of television, but I do not agree with the saying that reading books is not as important as it once was and people can not learn as much by watching television as they can by reading.(开头很简单明了,但感觉有点argue的味道了。如果想拿高分的话,我想issue开头应该再丰富一些。我的经验是对题目现象稍微展开得出一个总括,最后陈述一下自己的观点。)

Firstly, reading book is still important in the age of television. People read so that they can enjoy the feeling of surfing in the ocean of knowledge, while the television is just a machine controlled by some groups and most of their aims are profits. There are so many things can only show by words but not by pictures and voices.
People may prefer images provided by television, but words in books give us more space to think, and more meanings to understand. (感觉这里可以再丰富一些 举个具体的某本书的例子,比如现在有很多书都被改编成电影 但往往这样的效果人们觉得并不好)The television always wants to fill our eyes and ears by(不太明白这个by在这儿是什么用法哦) or kinds of beautiful sceneries and music, but people in this century are so busy that they need more time to relax and more chance to think freely (这个想法很还比较original。可是看电视也可以relax和think freely啊)but not controlled by such a box, that means we need books as much as we need breath(这个比喻好). So the place of books can not be replaced by television.


Secondly, television is not a teacher as good as books. That because books just stay there waiting for you but televisions want to sell you all kinds of things all the time. When we are watching TV, it always want us to buy but not to learn, may be learn to spend money. Have you met such kind of teacher? Television is not to be blamed since there must be enough ads to pay for the running of programs, but learn by watching is not a wise idea. However, there are so many students of any age are forgoing there textbooks and wasting time watching TV with the excuse of learning. Once lost in watching TV, people will find it is difficult to read books silently and think deeply, so it is the television that makes us distracted, and parents should limit children's time of watching TV. Watching television is just a way of amusement and rest, and we can not rely on it to learn.(感觉这一段有一点绝对,我觉得可以先肯定一下看电视也能获得很多信息和知识 比如教育类节目,谈话类节目, 但是对于教育来说电视的娱乐性太大,知识也不够详细 所以书籍是不能被取代的, 这样的话段落层次会更丰富一些 逻辑也更合理)

Thirdly, we should treat television properly. People may notice that there are more and more programs are trying to teach, we may learn how to cook, how to speak foreign languages, how to travel, how to take care of babies and even how to get along with others. That is to say we can learn by watching television, even so we can not learn as much by watching as by reading. Since books of human being make up an ocean of knowledge, so we can learn as much as we want by reading and we can also make such ocean wider and deeper by our endless research. But the language of images offered by such a machine can not catch up with the language of our people's with history of thousands of year.(这一段和上一段其实的论点都是 对于获得知识电视机没有书本好,我认为可以合为一段。)

In summary, in the age of television, we should cherish our books and opportunities to read and focusing on reading books if we want to learn.

————————————————————————————————————
感谢肖宇及小马同学在我不在的时候为大家布置的作业,这篇issue的题目总的来说算是简单,因为可以让大家都有的话说。
其次,在写的时候觉得自己的逻辑不是很清楚,因为大多数的时候都想用五段式,也就是开头->Firstly->Secondly->Thirdly->结尾,觉得我的惯用格式足够死板,期待大家的新思路以及对我的犀利批判。

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发表于 2010-6-19 22:20:33 |显示全部楼层
We may find that it is not a dream again to watch prominent stars and idols through TV channels or Internet when compared with through pictures in the past. It might be attempting(attempting用在此处似乎句意不准确) for common people to accept that in the age of television reading books is no longer significant as it was and they can learn as much by watching TV programs as they can by reading books. However, I take some exceptions when it comes to TV takes place of books.开头很明了,不过句子有些过于冗长,建议可长短句结合

Obviously, TV-as
这种表述方式没见过 ana highly developed technology and currently is still achieving new goals前面加个which感觉更顺些 plays a unique role in accurate and vivid description of events and scenes, especially those being happened. Some beautiful scenery that just can behad been imagined in the mind now can expressed无需过去式 as photos through TV programs. We can get the information at the first time without being present and understand是否可以用know the things happened all over the world in a day. Admittedly这里应该用for instance,而Admittedly有让步的意思在里面, ordinary people nowadays can enjoy Olympic Games like athletes who are taking part in the games at the same time instead of waiting for the next day's newspapers. Thus, TV makes our life developed in a vivid and accurate way.

However, TV cannot provide all the knowledge that books almost can. As we know, on one level, history and some ancient literature are handed down from generations to generations through books, and in expressing history , TV must be based on
base on these books, if we drop off reading books and relying on watching TVs, we may lose many precious cultural  essences. On the other hand, reading books is more convenient than watching TVs due to the flexibility of books with no limit in time and places, if one is not in when World Cup is showing broadcast, he may miss it, while with a book or newspaper, one can read at anytime anywhere.层次清晰,表述上还有可以雕琢的地方

What is more, TV cannot describe human ideas and thoughts, and scientific theories which can only learn from books. Even though it can express some lively pictures or scenes, for
(改为when regarding mathematical theory, classical literary, it may be trapped in a dilemma. For instance, Einstein, who is the father of theory of relativity, his classical theories described in books rather than TV programs because TVs could not find a better way to show his ideas about universe.这个例子没有足够的说服力,建议换一个 Under such circumstance, books is also a notable way to pass on knowledge.本段的这个观点似乎本身就有问题,作者不妨想一个其他方面来攻击

To sum up with the above analysis, we may conclude that both reading books and watching TVs are necessary in learning much and
much and可以去掉 beneficial information. Books most times offer an academic way to get the door of knowledge opened while TV may serve better as a way of entertainment. We can take full advantages of them according to different situations in order to benefit as much as we can.
4# jessie_1017

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发表于 2010-6-21 19:37:43 |显示全部楼层
7# 斑马慢蓝黑乱
谢谢~
爱因斯坦的例子是想说明相对论很抽象,难以用电视节目具体地表现出来,只有通过看书,因此书也是不可缺少的。

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RE: issue38&argument53----1010G欢迎拍文作文修改小组6月18日作业 [修改]

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