issue38 【1010G欢迎拍文】 6月18日作业

kb24_fansUID: 2830382

As human society develops rapidly, television has become an important role in human life. Some people maintain that we can learn from television programs as much as from books therefore reading books is less important than before. In my point of view, however, television which is originated for entertainment can not take books' place in learning.

Firstly, the television programs designed to entertain people do not contain enough knowledge or useful information that we really need. As we know, most TV channels are founded and operated by commercial organizations. Their goal is to maximize the number of their channel viewers and attain the biggest pay back through advertisement or the price of their paid programs. From this start point, many TV programs are commercially designed with splendid appearance to attract people's sights but indeed meaningless. The attempt of learn by watching television would be undoubtedly a big mistake. In contrast, books attract readers with their contents rather than the outside looks. One single book simply with texts and static pictures can carry as much knowledge as that for a reader to go deeply into some area. Therefore books will remain the best suitable carrier of knowledge as they were in the past centuries.

Secondly, television tends to take away abilities of creating from people who are enthusiastic about television. It is widely accepted that watching television is a passive process, in which the viewers are continuously infused with a large amount of information. Most information passes away from the viewers before they could analyze what they have received as fast as it gets to them. As a result, people watch television and get entertained, but due to few active brain activities what they can learn would actually be very limited. It is predictable that if people spend more and more time on television they will turn out to be less creative. On the contrary, books record human ideas, thoughts, or abstract theories in simple format so that in order to master knowledge people should not only browse the texts but also think actively at the same time. In this case, watching television excessively will damage human's intellectual development while reading books could make people intellectually strengthened.

Admittedly, television has its advantages over books to present information instantly and vividly. The sound and the live screen make TV programs much more attractive than abstract letters and characters. This is especially helpful in teaching children who are much more interested in moving images than rigid texts. Beyond the appearance, television also brings the latest news and discoveries to us and resultingly broadens our horizon. Although television will fail to achieve the ultimate education goal independently, it indeed provides very powerful assistance or even an option to traditional way of reading and room teaching.

In conclusion, although television can carry multi-media programs therefore is beneficial to education, its nature determines its subsidiary position in teaching. Books will continue to dominate the way of learning and contribute to the development of human civilization.

raysun77UID: 2688235

1010G 欢迎拍文修改小组 第五次作业 issue 38

As human society develops rapidly, television has become an important role（在网上查了一下，有play an important role 这个用法，没有见到单独用an important role的） in human life（human life 指人的生命，可以用 daily life）. Some people maintain that we can learn from television programs as much as from books therefore reading books is less important than yongfa（？） before. In my point of view, however, television which is originated for entertainment can not take books' place in learning.（感觉用book’s place 有些怪，不如用instead of吧however， watching television which is originated for entertainment can not instead of reading books,在这里 watching television和reading books,都是题目里的用词，而且这里讨论的是通过什么方式学习而不是电视和书这两种东西）

Firstly, the television programs designed to entertain people do not contain enough knowledge or useful information that we really need. As we know, most TV channels are founded and operated by commercial organizations. Their goal is to maximize the number of their channel viewers and to attain the biggest pay back through advertisement or the price of their paid programs. From this start point（什么意思，最初目标？）, many TV programs are commercially designed with splendid appearance to attract people's sights but indeed meaningless. The attempt of learn by watching television would be undoubtedly a big mistake（一棒子打死了，但是你前面说的是not enough information that we really want，也就是说还是可以通过电视学到一点东西的吧）. In contrast, books attract readers with their contents rather than the outside looks. One single book simply with texts and static pictures can carry as much knowledge as that for a reader to go deeply into some area（其实有一些书也很垃圾吧，就像市面上的畅销小说，看到开头就可以知道结尾， 你可以点明是classic books or subject books）. Therefore books will remain the best suitable carrier of knowledge as they were in the past centuries.

Secondly, television tends to take away abilities of creating from people who are enthusiastic about television. It is widely accepted that watching television is a passive process, in which the viewers are continuously infused with a large amount of information. Most information passes away from the viewers before they could analyze what they have received as fast as it gets to them. （你想说的是看电视时一个被动的学习过程， 这是因为Most information passes away from the viewers before they could analyze， 但是看书时也可以很快啊， 这两者之间好像没有什么必然的因果关系吧？）As a result, people watch television and get entertained, but due to few active brain activities what they can learn would actually be very limited. It is predictable that if people spend more and more time on television they will turn out to be less creative. On the contrary, books record human ideas, thoughts, or abstract theories in simple format so that in order to master knowledge people should not only browse the texts but also think actively at the same time. In this case, watching television excessively will damage human's intellectual development while reading books could make people intellectually strengthened. （我认为从是主动还是被动者方面论证书比电视要好是不太容易的，因为在接受知识时用不用大脑分析是由个人决定的，只是因为电视速度太快—）没有反应过来—》为了跟上进度只有接受某些说法，而书在看不懂的时候可以反复看，还可以查资料，弄懂为止）
Admittedly, television has its advantages over books to present information instantly and vividly. The sound and the live screen make TV programs much more attractive than abstract letters and characters. This is especially helpful in teaching children who are much more interested in moving images than rigid texts. Beyond the appearance, television also brings the latest news and discoveries to us and resultingly broadens our horizon. Although television will fail to achieve the ultimate education goal independently, it indeed provides very powerful assistance or even an option to traditional way of reading and room teaching.（这一段好像全是再说电视的好处，可是是不是因为电视太形象而是人失去了想象的空间了呢？或者说把这一段提到第二段的位置）
In conclusion, although television can carry multi-media programs therefore is beneficial to education, its nature determines its subsidiary position in teaching. Books will continue to dominate the way of learning and contribute to the development of human civilization.

kb24_fansUID: 2830382

2# raysun77

多谢raysun的修改。对你的修改意见提出讨论：

1. become an important role我是想表达“变成”的意思，我觉得不是一定要用play吧？
2.  take books' place是说想取代书的位置，但的确有点怪怪的，可以改为take the place of books。你建议的instead of是副词短语，不能做谓语。
3. from this start point，想表达“从这个出发点来讲....”，查了一下，应该是starting point
4. “我认为从是主动还是被动者方面论证书比电视要好是不太容易的，因为在接受知识时用不用大脑分析是由个人决定的，只是因为电视速度太快—）没有反应过来—》为了跟上进度只有接受某些说法，而书在看不懂的时候可以反复看，还可以查资料，弄懂为止”，太好的分析了，多谢你指出。我其实也总觉得自己的论点有点说不太通。
5. 对让步段的批改：.（这一段好像全是再说电视的好处，可是是不是因为电视太形象而是人失去了想象的空间了呢？或者说把这一段提到第二段的位置），说得很对。因为我全篇主要是说读书好，而让步段罗列电视的好处太强烈了，放在第2段比较合适。
6.回头看自己的文章，基本上没有例子，论证太单调了，需要努力。

yogurt4UID: 198389

我也觉得television which is originated for entertainment can not take books' place in learning这句有点怪。主语是电视，不是people，最后不应该是take one's place in teaching吗

raysun77UID: 2688235

3# kb24_fans
一起加油吧！我发现我的语法是一大硬伤啊啊啊啊啊啊:mad: ，又多了一个需要改进的地方，呃。。。。。