随风的作文小铺

lv1015UID: 2505136

hello，修改晚了

It is more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animals?
6 ~)
Since the industry revolution first started in England in the 18th century, our human beings have taken lots of lands that belong to wild lives. With the growing of industry and population, we humans now need more lands than ever before, which make a certain number of wild lives face the extinction in the future. As far as I concern(AS far as I am concerned), it is the time to take measures to stop this shamed(感到羞耻的) activities and reserve more land for other species, especially for those endangered animals, since these measures will bring benefits for both our planet and our human beings. 4 ]8 T6 T" [, m3 Q8 Z+ _% \- L
It will be shamed for us to take the living space of the wild lives aggressively. With the deforestation, desertification, and severe pollutions in waters, air or others resources, our scientists has estimated that a certain amount of species die out for(可删除) each day from our planet. Many scientists believe that human will be last extinction specie if we do not take some effective measures to reverse this process.

Even though, as the advantages of the technology innovations, our life have become more convenience（convenient） than past, how many people know that many ideas of those innovations come from researching wild animals. Just image that without birds, could we take the plane to travel thousands of miles in a day? Without fishes, could we navigate ships in the oceans?  Therefore, animals make great contribution to our human's civilization. (很有意思的例子)   $ ^$ e' H' O+ E- u# |
What is more, nowadays more and more animals are listed as endangered ones. Some of them are extremely dangerous. As we all know, every animal takes its own position in the food chain to keep the balance of the eco-system. If we lost one or more of animals, we will disorder our eco-system, which often bring(bringing) ecological disasters to our human society. For instance, with the increasing using of chemical pesticide, it not only polluted our environment severely but also took harmful effects to our health. The idea method（？） is to use biological method to control the pests. In a word, protecting animals is protecting ourselves.


To summarize, it is shamed（可以适当换个词，因为要保持多样性） for those people who argue for more land to human beings. Every species has its own right to live on our planet. Without those species, there will not be our highly advanced technologies. Also, it is a wise choice to reserve more land for wild lives, especially endangered animals, because this will not only bring profits to our eco-system, but also to our human beings.（同样的意思可以使句型多些变化）

zmselfnatureUID: 2466965

7.10作业by随风
Topic：Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

As we all know, homework is important composition of student study, which could help the student to confirm their understanding and remembering of knowledge. However, as far as I am concerned, it is not necessary for teacher to assign homework to students every day.
Admittedly, assigning homework for students has its own benefits, which not only help student to make time in home more efficiently, but also confirm the knowledge learned in the class. For instance, students in primary school have less ability of self controlling, who are easily distracted by some entertainment videos such as cartoons. Assigning homework hence will help them concentrate on their study.
However, even though assigning homework may have its advantages, it is by no means that teachers should assign homework every day, because excessive homework will not only reduce the students' interest on the study but also cause much more burden and bring many negative effects for the students. Taking Chinese students for example, under the current educational policy, students in China have to face enormous homework from the enrolling the primary school. Aiming at high scores, most of teachers choose to assign much homework for their students each day. Hence, students spend most of time on remembering books and finishing the homework, and hardly have time to develop other personal abilities such as painting, literature or sports. As a result, students in this system become lack of creativities. More worse is that many of students have a poor physical condition due to lack of sports exercise. In general, assigning homework every day is totally unacceptable.
Furthermore, I think assigning homework in a proper level will help the students' growing. The main task of education is to help the student to establish their independent thinking and originated creativity. Therefore, a certain number of homework would play an important role in this procedure. I

To summarize, it is definitely wrong to assign homework every day for students, because instead of helping students in their study, this could only rob their interest in the study and bring potential harms to their growing. On the contrary, assigning homework in an accepting level will benefit students best.

Word 354

fd笑笑UID: 2791669

Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

As we all know, homework is (an)important composition of student study, which could help the student(them,前面一句已经有student .这里用代词是不是显得不是太罗嗦) to confirm their understanding（你这里意思理解力吗？用comprehension应该更好吧） and remembering of knowledge. However, as far as I am concerned, it is not necessary for teacher to assign homework to students every day.
Admittedly, assigning homework for students has its own benefits, which not only help student to make time in home more efficiently, but also confirm the knowledge learned in the class. For instance, students in primary school have less ability of self controlling, who are easily distracted by some entertainment videos such as cartoons. Assigning homework hence will help them concentrate on their study.
However, even though assigning homework may have its advantages, it is by no means（这个用的挺好的，我总是想不起来用这些好词，提醒我了。谢谢） that teachers should assign homework every day, because excessive homework will not only reduce the students' interest on the study but also cause much more burden and bring many negative effects for the students.（not only but also 用到装更精彩。） Taking Chinese students for example, under the current educational policy, students in China have to face enormous homework from the（这里不知道要不要the, 读起来不舒服） enrolling the primary school. Aiming at high scores, most of teachers choose to assign much homework for their students each day. Hence, students spend most of time on remembering books and finishing the homework, and hardly have time to develop other personal abilities such as painting, literature or sports. As a result, students in this system become lack of creativities. More worse is that many of students have a poor physical condition due to lack of sports exercise. In general, assigning homework every day is totally unacceptable.
Furthermore, I think assigning homework in a proper level will help the students' growing（growth）. The main task of education is to help the student to establish their independent thinking and originated creativity(这里用originality更简练一点). Therefore, a certain number of homework would play an important role in this procedure. I

To summarize, it is definitely wrong to assign homework every day for students, because instead of helping students in their study, this could only rob their interest in the study and bring potential harms to their growing. On the contrary, assigning homework in an accepting level will benefit students best.

Word 354
个人认为，第二段（admittedly.......）可以放在倒数第二段，作为一个让步段。毕竟你应该让考官先看到你反对每天布置作业的支持观点，而不是每天布置作业的好处。
Ps：第一次修改作文，我要是有什么修改不对的地方，请严厉指出。
我不会传附件，请教怎么传附件？

leiqin1521UID: 2735936

As we all know, homework is （an） important composition of student study, which could help the student to confirm their understanding and remembering of knowledge. However, as far as I am concerned, it is not necessary for teacher to assign homework to students every day
简明，很好。
Admittedly, assigning homework for students has its own benefits, which not only help student to make time in home more efficiently, but also confirm the knowledge learned in the class. For instance, students in primary school have less ability of self controlling（control）, who are easily distracted by some entertainment videos such as cartoons. Assigning homework hence will help them concentrate on their study.

让步段，一般放在最后比较好，老外喜欢把最重要的东西放在最前面

However, even though assigning homework may have its advantages, it is by no means that teachers should assign homework every day, because excessive homework will not only reduce the students' interest on the study but also cause much more burden and bring many negative effects for the students. Taking Chinese students for example, under the current educational policy, students in China have to face enormous homework from the enrolling the primary school. Aiming at high scores, most of teachers choose to assign much homework for their students each day. Hence, students spend most of time on remembering books and finishing the homework, and hardly have time to develop other personal abilities such as painting, literature or sports. As a result, students in this system become lack of creativities. More worse is that many of students have a poor physical condition due to lack of sports exercise. In general, assigning homework every day is totally unacceptable.

说理充分，也有很好的例子，有一点：我们很容易把每天布置作业和每天布置的作业太多混淆了，注意措词可能能避开不必要的失误。

Furthermore, I think assigning homework in a proper level will help the students' growing. The main task of education is to help the student to establish their independent thinking and originated creativity. Therefore, a certain number of homework would play an important role in this procedure.

这一段很让人迷惑，不知道你的观点是什么？你在第一段中已经说了你的观点，那么至少用两个分论点来支持你的观点，可是第二个分论点竟然与观点想法，不是很明白。

To summarize, it is definitely wrong to assign homework every day for students, because instead of helping students in their study, this could only rob their interest in the study and bring potential harms to their growing. On the contrary, assigning homework in an accepting level will benefit students best

最后一段有观点，有让步句，很好！

我也是菜鸟，改的不好请见谅啊！可能我的思路和你的不一样，所以批得有点我自己都手软了，呵呵，请你务必再找个高人给你批一下吧。

另外，随风的语言表达不错的，基础好，稍加整理会进步很快，一起加油！