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发表于 2010-6-20 22:34:23 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 zmselfnature 于 2010-6-20 22:41 编辑

7.24 T加油

6.14-6.19一周的作文作业互改没来得及参加,接下来要加油,争取按时完成作业。

先把自己6.17号作业贴补上吧,第一次里面肯定有很多拼写和语法错误,加油。
6.17  
Topic 成功重要还是失败时能保持乐观快乐重要:
Do you think success is important, or it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when you fail?(09.03.21)

For most of people, success is important and realistic for life. When people get a high score in a test, find a good job with high salary, and win in a competition, they may feel comfortable and happy. However, no body could always be successful in a whole life. As far as I see, it is more important to keep a happy and optimistic attitude in life, especially during the failures and frustrations.

As a famous word saying that the only thing we can do is controling our attitude to life. Many people wants to be a successful or even a great man. They often make career goals as being a scientist, a manager, or even a millionian. For achieving these goals, they had to make great endanvors. However,  the road leading to these success usually contains many difficulties. In the same time, they will also feel great pressure, tired and unpleasure in this process. The problem lies in that they overweigh the result. Bible tells us' Don't worry about tommorrow,  don't feel a pity about past, the only thing you can do is controling now'. Present is the most precious gift for us. Therefore, if one made best use of everyday with a happy and optimistic attitude, he or she would be the winner of life.

Keeping a happy and optimistic attitude is the key for achieving life goals. Undoubtedly, no body can always be success. We all often hear that some one achieve a great success from the media. But, few people know what happened behind the sucess. About one hundred years ago, Edison invent light bulb, which is a great invention in human history. During this process, Edison tried hundreds of  materials and failed for hundreds of times. When people asked Edsion' do you feel pity for wasting time on those materials. While Edison replied that I am glad to test them not suitable for light bulb. Just imagine that it is impossible for Edison to invent light bulb if lack of a strong and optimistic attitude facing these hundreds of failures.

We don't need to rely on success to live a happy life, which is beyond our control. But, we can live a positive and happy life through choosing our attitude. I really argue that keeping a happy and optimistic attitude is more important than success itself.

Word Count: 391

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发表于 2010-6-23 11:56:10 |显示全部楼层
提示: 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽

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发表于 2010-6-23 21:13:45 |显示全部楼层
2# 一个彷徨的人啊
??

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发表于 2010-6-23 21:17:20 |显示全部楼层
6.22 作文,终于赶完了:)
Topic Sometimes, if you can not say anything nice to someone, you should say nothing at all.

During our daily lives, because that different people has different life habit and attitude, keeping a nice or kind attitude is fundamental rule to mantain a ballance relationships with friends. People always make friends with people who are easily accessed.  Although being nice has some singnificant benefits, it is not meaning  that we must keep silence if we can not say anything nice in some circumstances.

Life experience tells me that we should express our idea directly if our life and study are disturbed by others, even if the words maight seems not such friendly. During my undergraduate study, I lived with other three persons in a same dormitory. One of them had a different habit with us. He prefered to go to bed very late in the night with the light on, which often make me hard to go sleep. At the beginning, I hoped that he could realize that his behavior are not proper and change it by himself. Unfortunately, this sitation didn't change untill I told him directly. To my surprise is that he understood my words well. After his appolgizing to us, we had a hamony sphere in our dormitory.

It is also very important for parents and teachers to point out mistakes made by their children in the first time, because children don't have independent thinking and usually can't separate things which should do or not. When I  was young, my parents told me a story about how a child grew to be a criminal. At the beginning of the story, when this child stole a pen in his primary school, his parents didn't consider it seriously and give him none of punishments. After this child grew up, he was sentenced to the prison after being caught when stealing.  In the court, he cried to his parents why didn't punish him for his first stealing. What lying behind this tragedy is that any words bringing benefits for children's growing should be spoken directly.

To conclude, Basing on thinking for others,
I prefer to express the feelings or thinkings instead of keeping silence even if these are not listenning nicely. On the contrary, in certain circumstances,  keeping silence may make things more worse.

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发表于 2010-6-23 22:08:30 |显示全部楼层
During our daily lives, because that different people has different life habit and attitude (个人觉得都应该是复数,different people have different life habits and attitudes ), keeping a nice or kind attitude is fundamental rule to maintain a balance(balance) relationships with friends. People always (prefer to) make friends with people who are easily accessed (easy going).  Although being nice has some significant benefits, it is not meaning (dose not means)  that we must keep silence if we can not say anything nice in some circumstances.
" [, x. ]# f, j& T* D4 l
! C4 r  L9 Q) A$ ~9 l2 O

Life experience tells me that we should express our idea directly if our life and study are disturbed by others, even if the words might seem not such friendly. During my undergraduate study, I lived with other three persons in a same dormitory. One of them had a different habit with us (
不知道有没有这种用法). He preferred to go to bed very late in the night with the light on, which often made me hard to go sleep. At the beginning, I hoped that he could realize that his behavior was not proper and changed it by himself. Unfortunately, this situation didn't change until I told him directly. it  really surprised meTo my surprise is that he understood accepted my words well. After his apologizing to us, we had a harmony sphere in our dormitory.
# n4 M+ T- C  G. x8 ^
- z, \8 i! `% U7 j" ^/ `It is also very important for parents and teachers to point out mistakes made by their children in ( at) the first time, because children don't have independent thinking and usually can't separate things which should do or not. When I was young, my parents told me a story about how a child grew to be a criminal. At the beginning of the story, when this child stole a pen in his primary school, his parents didn't consider it seriously and gave him none of punishments. After this child grew up, he was sentenced to the prison after being caught when stealing.  In the court, he cried to his parents why didn't punish him for his first stealing. What lying behind this tragedy is that any words bringing benefits for children's growing should be spoken directly.
; r, ~8 e9 m$ w6 T1 A$ l# I
. ~& j1 F0 T. f2 {& x/ i2 Q1 F3 s
To conclude, Basing on thinking for others,
! w* p9 z* \: nI prefer to express the feelings or thinking instead of keeping silence even if these are not listenning nicely (they sound not nice). On the contrary, in certain circumstances,  keeping silence may make things worse

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发表于 2010-6-24 19:26:01 |显示全部楼层
刚一黏贴到word就有很多红色的,说明作者拼写和语法还要加强啊!
During(In) our daily lives, because that different people has different life habit and attitude, keeping a nice or kind attitude is (a) fundamental rule to maintain(maintain) a ballance(balance) relationships with friends.(这句话不太好,太中国化了,原因放在后面会好点)。 People always make friends with people who are easily accessed(to access).  Although being nice has some singnificant(significant) benefits, it is not meaning(语法错误,不能用现在分词,does not mean)  that we must keep silence if we cannot say anything nice in some circumstances.; j4 t6 M% D, g- J7 z2 n' x
* ?6 M3 Y4 h/ m, }1 @
Life experience tells me that we should express our idea directly if our life and study are disturbed by others, even if the words maight(might) seems(情态动词后面只能是动词原形) not such friendly. During my undergraduate study, I lived with other three(three other) persons in a same dormitory. One of them had a different habit with us. He prefered(preferred) to go to bed very late in the night with the light on, which often make(made) me hard to go sleep. At the beginning, I hoped that he could realize that his behavior are(were) not proper and (he should)) change it by himself. Unfortunately, this sitation(situation) didn't change untill(until) I told him directly. To my surprise is that he understood my words well. After his appolgizing(he apologized) to us, we had a hamony(harmonious) sphere(atmosphere) in our dormitory.用自己的例子固然没问题,但是说服力上就有了欠缺,而且花了太大的篇幅讲这个例子,讨论部分不足
3 y. ~. `* \9 ?; X
It is also very important for parents and teachers to point out mistakes made by their children in(at) the first time, because children don't have independent thinking and usually can't(口语化,用cannot) separate(典型的中国化,换成recognize) things which should do or not. When I was young, my parents told me a story about how a child grew to be a criminal. At the beginning of the story, when this child stole a pen in his primary school, his parents didn't consider it seriously and give him none of punishments. After this child grew up, he was sentenced to the prison after being caught when stealing.  In the court, he cried to his parents why didn't punish him for his first stealing. What lying behind this tragedy is that any words bringing benefits for children's growing should be spoken directly. 全部都用自己的经历来论证说服力不够的_, O

To conclude, Basing on thinking for others,
I prefer to express the feelings or thinking instead of keeping silence even if these are not listenning(listening) nicely. On the contrary, in certain circumstances,  keeping silence may make things more worse.
作者语法上的问题比较严重,建议先加强语法,尤其是涉及从句用法上,然后就是动词的分词变化形式错用比较多,文章说理不充分。

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发表于 2010-6-27 16:14:35 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 zmselfnature 于 2010-6-27 16:16 编辑

6.26 日作文by zmselfnature(随风)

Topic: The best way to learn about a foreign country is by reading newspaper or magazines.

When people want to learn about a foreign country, many choices are presenting in front of them. Some people think that reading newspapers or magazines is the best way. However, as far as I am concerned, because newspaper or magazines usually contain indirect and current information of the country, it is difficult for people get a full vision about the country.

Admittedly, reading newspaper or magazines is a convenience way to learn about a country. With the development of the internet, people could read the latest news about any country at the first time. For instance, aiming at learning about America, I usually read New York Times and Time Magazine, in which contain huge information about American's life styles, cultures, and ways of thinking. However, the limits of newspaper and magazines are also clear, which are only writing massage and people cannot get direct information or sometime wrong information. If the media are serving for the certain government or association, readers could be easily misled by reading them. Therefore, to achieve unbiased understandings about a country, we need some other essential methods.  
The most direct and exact way to understand a country is to have a visit to it. For instance, if you want to know how changes have happened in China during the past 30 years. Having a travel around China is an unquestionable a best way, which will correct some misunderstanding about China by reading newspapers or magazines. Through this, you could also talk with the people directly, see how busily and fast the buildings are constructing all round the country, and feel the country's old civilization. Therefore, facing with the country directly is an undeniable best way.
Moreover, another direct and convenience way is watching the videos like movies from that country. In my undergraduate study, I watched many films produced by film companies located in Hollywood, such as 'The patriot', 'Brave heart', 'True man show', ' Forrest Gump', etc. From them, audiences can learn a lot about many aspects of American life, cultures, history or spirits. In general, videos give people more active vision about the country.

To summarize, even though reading newspapers and magazines is a convenience way to learn about one country, it hard to conclude that it's the best way. Having a visit to a country or living in country for a while is a best and most direct way. Some others methods like watching videos will be also good and necessary complementary.
6.26作文byzmselfnature(随风).doc (28.5 KB, 下载次数: 8)

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美版2016offer达人

发表于 2010-6-28 17:33:49 |显示全部楼层
6.26作文by zmselfnature(随风)
Topic: The best way to learn about a foreign country is by reading newspaper or magazines.

When people want to learn about a foreign country, many choices are presenting in front of them. Some people think that reading newspapers or magazines is the best way. However, as far as I am concerned, because newspaper or magazines usually contain indirect and current information of the country, it is difficult for people get a full vision about the country.

Admittedly, reading newspaper or magazines is a convenience way to learn about a country. With the development of the internet, people could read the latest news about any country at the first time. For instance, aiming at learning about America, I usually read New York Times and Time Magazine, in which contain huge information about American's life styles, cultures, and ways of thinking. However, the limits of newspaper and magazines are also clear, which are only writing massage and people cannot get direct information or sometime wrong information. If the media are serving for the certain government or association, readers could be easily misled by reading them. Therefore, to achieve unbiased understandings about a country, we need some other essential methods. (这一段开头和结尾不一致。我以前也是这么写的,然后被翠花建议说,尽量写得一致。所以我也建议,可以在下一段写出However可能会保险一点)

The most direct and exact way to understand a country is to have a visit to it(感觉这个用法不常见). For instance, if you want to know how changes have happened in China during the past 30 years. Having a travel around China is an unquestionable a best way, which will correct some misunderstanding about China by reading newspapers or magazines. Through this, you could also talk with the people directly, see how busily and fast the buildings are constructing all round the country, and feel the country's old civilization. Therefore(可以换一个词,例如hence), facing with the country directly is an undeniable best way.
Moreover, another direct and convenience way is watching the videos like movies from that country. In my undergraduate study, I watched many films produced by film companies located in Hollywood, such as 'The patriot', 'Brave heart', 'True man show', ' Forrest Gump', etc. From them, audiences can learn a lot about many aspects of American life, cultures, history or spirits. In general, videos give people more active vision about the country.

To summarize, even though reading newspapers and magazines is a convenience way to learn about one country, it hard to conclude that it's the best way. Having a visit to a country or living in country for a while is a best and most direct way. Some others methods like watching videos will be also good and necessary complementary.
我已经看不出什么错误了,结构也写得很好,句子、用词也都不错。不好意思,没有办法给你提太多意见,呵呵

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发表于 2010-7-1 23:10:51 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 zmselfnature 于 2010-7-1 23:14 编辑

7.1 日作文Topic: Most people prefer others making decision for them than making a decision for themselves.

During people's lives, ranges of circumstances need us to make decision, from choosing what kind of friends to make with, which Universities to study in, to which city to live in. Sometimes, some people prefer others making the decision for them. However, as far as I concerned, children who are under 18 years old should prefer to the elders, as their parents or teachers, to make decision for them. While young people, who are older than 18 years old, relying on themselves to make decision is unquestionable to put in the first place.
As we all know, in most of circumstances, children are too young to make a right choice, sometimes they may make some mistakes. Advice from elders or persons with more life experience will point them a right way, reduce their time and energy spending on the goal significantly and help them make decision efficiently. As an old Chinese adage says, if you did not listen to your elders before your decision, you will get bitter results or failures in the end. For instance, when I am in primary school, I loved playing video games a lot, which took me lots of time. I cannot help controlling myself. As a result, I got a poor performance in my study. My parents then did not allow me to play them again. I cannot understand my parents till I was old enough. Therefore, accepting advice or decisions from others may give us direct benefits.
However, although accepting decisions from others instead of ourselves may sometimes has its convenience, when the children grow to adults, with their independent and critical thinking establishing, it is unquestionable for them to rely on their own decision. Because only the individual knows his/her life goals, whether he/her can afford the efforts to achieve these goals or not and could he/her take the responsibilities for the result. After my enrolling to the University, with time going on, I could think and make decision independently. Although, my parents hoped me to find a good job after graduating, I chose postgraduate study in an esteemed University for my further study. Because after four years of my undergraduate study, I am very familiar with my study area and what I am good at. The decision for graduate study made by myself is the most suitable for me. In general, a decision made by the person with critical thinking is the most suitable choice.
To summarize, it is better for children under 18 years old to depend their elders' decision. While basing on considering advice from elders, young people with independent thinking make their own choice is the most suitable for their life.

Word 441

7.1号作文by zmselfnature(随风).doc

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发表于 2010-7-2 10:42:58 |显示全部楼层



During people's lives, ranges of circumstances need us to make decision, from choosing what kind of friends to make with, (and)which Universities to study in, to which city to live in. Sometimes, some people prefer others making the decision for them. However, as far as I (am)concerned, children who are under 18 years old should prefer to(去掉)the elders, (such) as their parents or teachers, to make (making)decision for them. While young people, who are older than 18 years old, relying on themselves to make decision is unquestionable to put in the first place.
As we all know, in most of circumstances, children are too young to make a right choice, sometimes they may make some mistakes. Advice from elders or persons with more life experience will point them a right way, reduce their time and energy spending(spended) on the goal significantly, and help them make decision efficiently. As an old Chinese adage says, if you did not listen to your elders before your decision, you will get bitter results or failures in the end. For instance, when I am in primary school, I loved playing video games a lot, which took me lots of time. I cannot help controlling myself. As a result, I got a poor performance in my study. My parents then did not allow me to play them again. I cannot understand my parents till I was old enough. Therefore, accepting advice or decisions from others may give us direct benefits.(亲身经历做例子,非常贴切和精彩)
However, although accepting decisions from others instead of ourselves may sometimes has its convenience, when the children grow to adults, with their independent and critical thinking establishing, it is unquestionable for them to rely on their own decision. Because only the individual knows his/her life goals, whether he/her can afford the efforts to achieve these goals or not and could he/her take the responsibilities for the result. After my enrolling to the University, with time going on(as time goes by), I could think and make decision independently. Although, my parents hoped me to find a good job after graduating, I chose postgraduate study in an esteemed University for my further study. (I chose to further my study in an esteemed University )
Because after four years of my undergraduate study, I am very familiar with my study area and what I am good at. The decision for graduate study made by myself is the most suitable for me. In general, a decision made by the person with critical thinking is the most suitable choice. (
再一次使用自己的例子,也很合适)
To summarize, it is better for children under 18 years old to depend their elders' decision. While basing on considering advice from elders, young people with independent thinking make their own choice (which) is the most suitable for their life.



可能有些语法要注意一下,但整体文章结构框架都很清晰

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发表于 2010-7-2 18:51:55 |显示全部楼层
已修改,见附件。

on zmselfnature(随风).doc

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Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
不要去等待幸运的降临,在你可以努力的每一分钟都做出最大的努力,你才能真正把握自己的命运。在等待中焦虑的人最后获得的永远是失望。

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发表于 2010-7-7 19:45:54 |显示全部楼层
7.6日作业by随风 topic: It is more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animals?

Since the industry revolution first started in England in the 18th century, our human beings have taken lots of lands that belong to wild lives. With the growing of industry and population, we humans now need more lands than ever before, which make a certain number of wild lives face the extinction in the future. As far as I concern, it is the time to take measures to stop this shamed activities and reserve more land for other species, especially for those endangered animals, since these will bring benefits for both our planet and our human beings.
It will be shamed for us to take the living space of the wild lives aggressively. With the deforestation, desertification, and severe pollutions in waters, air or others resources, our scientists has estimated that a certain amount of species die out for each day from our planet. Many scientists believe that human will be last extinction specie if we do not take some effective measures to reverse this process.
Even though, as the advantages of the technology innovations, our life have become more convenience than past, how many people know that many ideas of those innovations come from researching wild animals. Just image that without birds, could we take the plane to travel thousands of miles in a day? Without fishes, could we navigate ships in the oceans?  Therefore, animals make great contribution to our human's civilization.  
What is more, now days more and more animals are listed as endangered ones. Some of them are extremely dangerous. As we all know, every animal take its own position in the food chain to keep the balance of the eco-system. If we lost one or more of animals, we will disorder our eco-system, which often bring ecological disasters to our human society. For instance, with the increasing using of chemical pesticide, it not only polluted our environment severely but took harmful effects to our health. The idea method is to use biological method to control the pests. In a word, protecting animals is protecting ourselves.

To summarize, it is shamed for those people who argue for more land to human beings. Every species has its own right to live on our planet. Without those species, there will not be our highly advanced technologies. Also, it is a wise choice to reserve more land for wild lives, especially endangered animals, because this will not only bring profits to our eco-system, but also to our human beings.

Word:409.

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发表于 2010-7-7 21:57:58 |显示全部楼层
已修改,见附件。

on zmselfnature(随风).doc

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Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
不要去等待幸运的降临,在你可以努力的每一分钟都做出最大的努力,你才能真正把握自己的命运。在等待中焦虑的人最后获得的永远是失望。

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发表于 2010-7-9 11:57:54 |显示全部楼层
你不觉得你7月6号其他组员的作文你还没修改吗
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
不要去等待幸运的降临,在你可以努力的每一分钟都做出最大的努力,你才能真正把握自己的命运。在等待中焦虑的人最后获得的永远是失望。

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发表于 2010-7-9 21:42:05 |显示全部楼层
14# FFFMZJB
不好意思,修改的晚了一些,已经修改好了!

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RE: 随风的作文小铺 [修改]

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