【Flyer杀G作文组】第二次作业6月25日Argument 79-By xwxkxang

xwxkxangUID: 2636190

Argument79

In this argument, the author presents the example of Longhual trucking company and other related data to demonstrate that for the purpose of reducing the accident rate, take measures to raise the drivers’ pay and limit the overall number of hours they drive. We cannot ignore the fact that salary roll-up and less working hour might help the drivers reduce the possibility of accident. However, the demonstration and the conclusion both fail to take into account other factors that may have strong impact on the results even some key factors are missing.

Firstly, the example of Longhaul seems convincing at first glance. And I believe that the decrease of traffic accidents had tightly ties with the measures they had took. But we should not ignore that whether what the Longhaul meets is the similar and common tasks that other tracking companies confront. No signs of the specialized data are given to compare the Longhaul with the general tracking company. The Longhual might be just a tiny company without any professional and experienced drivers. And the annual accident rate of Longhaul reaches much higher than the average rate of the entire industry. Thus, the Longhaul does not indicate the widespread phenomena that other companies face.

The fact that the highest paid drivers turn down the chance of accidents is not a persuasive one to exhort that the raise of payment is an efficient facility to decline the accident rate. High salary means the work one does exceeds others thus he deserves more. Highest-paid drivers very likely can do the job more experienced and face the emergency more calmly and take proper acts thus their accident rate might be low. Taking the solution to raise salary could not incisively reduce the accident rate, but it might benefit the drivers to cherish their job and drive more carefully.

More even if we acknowledge the measures they take can reduce the number of accidents; we could not ignore the influence on the productivity by the shrink of work hours. And the deflation of the number of accidents does not mean the severity of accidents is declining. Other chances like the number of accidents are deceasing, while the severity of accidents is rising can be a sign of the lethal accidents still rising.

To sum up, facing this tough tackles the better way to deal with it is to comprehensively take into consider the possible factors. Trucking companies might take the Longhaul as an example, but should not just copy its actions to reduce the accident rate.

xwxkxangUID: 2636190

我发现自己一个很大的问题是在现在时和过去时混用的时候完全没有时态的变化，也不知道怎么变。望牛人指点

afufu1124UID: 2786856

1.demonstrate that for the purpose of reducing the accident rate, take measures to raise the drivers’ pay and limit the overall number of hours they drive.
that 后应该跟句子，该文中后面不能组成一个主谓结构的完整句子
2.fail to take into account other factors that may have strong impact on the results even some key factors are missing 语意有些重复，不简练
有事出去，回来再改:loveliness: