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发表于 2010-7-2 23:06:38 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 mitchelllc 于 2010-7-2 23:10 编辑

这是我进入特训营的第一篇作文:D
In order to solve the problems of the present and future,it is necessary to understand the past.


When talked about the relationship between the Chinese and Japanese governments,Deng Xiaoping,the founder of the Chinese Reform and Opening up policy,
said the famous words "remember the history,have eyes on future". I fully agree with the statement by Deng Xiaoping, and what is more,in my opinion, I believe that only understanding the past, could people solve the problems of the present and future better.

The present and future,according to some researches,always face the similar problems that the past has faced.In 2009,China ranked third in GDP in all of world.In front of China,it were America and Japan.However,it is commonly considered that China will past Japan in less than five years.Regardless of the high speed of development and great achievement in past ten years,Chinese government has more and more problems,which are similar with the problems that Japanese government faced in 1980s.For instance,the high price of house,the unemployment of young people,and large population in urban.In order to solve these problems better,the Chinese government should research the advantage and disadvantage of polices that Japanese government had maked. So it is important to understand the past.

In addition,the present's and future's problems may arise from the past's problems,and it is necessary to understand the past.Environment problem,one of the universal problems,is significant in the development of human beings.The scholars have decided to research the past in order to find out the solutions,since the environment problem dose not  one day.It could be more efficient and useful in solving the problem.

What is more, understanding the past could help us avoid facing the problems that has confronted in past.The World War I and II,are of worst disasters in the history of human.As a result of the wars,million of people lost their lives.Studying the origin of the war,could help us avoid the reappear of the disaster.

Therefore,understanding the past,means we could have better solutions in solving the problems that we will confront in the future.
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发表于 2010-7-2 23:13:49 |只看该作者
我没加word,这个怎么加附件?。。。

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发表于 2010-7-4 14:41:42 |只看该作者
When talked(好像用talking 吧, ) about the relationship between the Chinese and Japanese governments,Deng Xiaoping,the founder of the Chinese Reform and Opening up policy,9 L0 m; H' L% X1 J) p( ]8 Jsaid the famous words "remember the history,have eyes on future". I fully agree with the statement by Deng Xiaoping, and what is more,in my opinion, I believe that only understanding the past, could people solve the problems of the present and future better.7 u0 k6 u0 G0 S* ?2 u' l( |

The present and future,according to some researches,always face the similar problems that the past has faced.In 2009,China ranked third in GDP in all of world.In front of China,it were America and Japan.However,it is commonly considered that China will past Japan in less than five years.Regardless of the high speed of development and great achievement in past ten years,Chinese government has more and more problems,which are similar with the problems that Japanese government faced in 1980s.For instance,the high price of house,the unemployment of young people,and large population in urban.In order to solve these problems better,the Chinese government should research the advantage and disadvantage of polices that Japanese government had maked. (这个例子视乎是你给中国政府的建议,而不是中国政府学习日本后取得成效,所以学习past 是需要的)So it is important to understand the past.
G. H) O
In addition,the present's and future's problems may arise from the past's problems,and it is necessary to understand the past.Environment problem,one of the universal problems,is significant in the development of human beings.The scholars have decided to research the past in order to find out the solutions,since the environment problem dose not  (exist)one day.It could be more efficient and useful in solving the problem.* r: p: T9
j, _8 N, Q( T
What is more, understanding the past could help us avoid facing the problems that has confronted in past.The World War I and II,are of the worst disasters in the history of human.As a result of the wars,million of people lost their lives.Studying the origin of the war,could help us avoid the reappear of the disaster( 我感觉改成prevent it happening again比较好腊。。).5 F( P) R3 ~6 w" C9 }

Therefore,understanding the past,means we could have better solutions in solving the problems that we will confront in the future.
文章结构清晰, 句式丰富, 本人水平有限,若有错误请多指教。。。

mlgb,    i am tortured by  ibt

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地板
发表于 2010-7-4 17:09:23 |只看该作者
恩,非常感谢啊~~
我其中的一句话“The present and future,according to some researches,always face the similar problems that the past has faced”我觉得最后faced用的不好,两个都是faced。你觉得这儿用什么好?

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发表于 2010-7-4 20:01:53 |只看该作者
第二个改experienced 则么样?
mlgb,    i am tortured by  ibt

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发表于 2010-7-4 20:41:22 |只看该作者
5# lxg198607 恩,不错不错,thanks~~

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发表于 2010-7-6 22:32:26 |只看该作者
It is more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animals.



Earth,the great mother of human beings,as we all know,is covered by the sea in most of her surface.In spite of that,the population of human beings is growing more and more fast.In order to survive,a great number of person,hold that it is more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animals.I totally agree with the statement.



Human beings,although is not the oldest creature,has the highest intelligence.For instance,human beings has no ability of flying,but they invent the airplane,which flys much more fast than any other animals.Even in some years later,human being may clone themselves,which means that human beings could clone the endangered animals when they extinguish.So that we should not worry about the endangered animals.In term of the intelligence of human beings,it is more important to reserve land for human beings.



In addition,not only does it is more important to reserve land for human beings come from the highest intelligence,but human beings has greatest influence on the earth. It is widely accepted that human beings determine the future of earth.According to some researches,nuclear weapons that various countries own,could destroy the earth in less than 10 minutes.In the same time,human beings could make earth more and more beautiful.With the development of human beings,they would be unwilling to use nuclear weapons.So that the limiting land of earth should ensure the development of human beings.



What is more,human beings is the hope of earth.Although human beings has used all kinds of source,making serious consequences to earth,the future of earth is dominated by human beings.With the development of human beings,the earth will be better and better.



On the county side,human beings and other animals are all of the son of earth.It is unfair that endangered animals have no land for surviving.So, on the premise of the development of human beings,it should reserve some land for endangered animals.



In terms of the highest intelligence,greatest influence of human being,and the hope of earth,it is more important to reserve land for human being than endangered animals.

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发表于 2010-7-6 22:36:53 |只看该作者
这篇作文我写得时候很不爽,感觉一般,例子都没举。。。

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发表于 2010-7-7 18:23:11 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 空空仔 于 2010-7-7 18:25 编辑

改7.6

Earth, the great mother of human beings, as we all know, is covered by the sea in most of her surface. In spite of that, the population of human beings is growing faster and faster. In order to survive, a great number of persons, hold that it is more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animals. I totally agree with the statement.

Human beings, although is not the oldest creature, has the highest intelligence. For instance, human beings have no ability of flying, but they invent the airplane, which flies much faster than any other animals. Even in some years later, human being may clone themselves, which means that human beings could clone the endangered animals when color]they extinguish. So that we should not worry about the endangered animals. (so that 算是介词,好像不能放在开头引导句子,用thus,好些吧) In terms of the intelligence of human beings, it is more important to reserve land for human beings."

In addition, not only does it is more important to reserve land for human beings come from (regarding合适些)the highest intelligence, but human beings have greatest influence on the earth. It is widely accepted that human beings determine the future of earth. According to some researches, nuclear weapons that various countries own, could destroy the earth in less than 10 minutes. In the same time, human beings could make earth more and more beautiful. With the development of human beings, they would be unwilling to use nuclear weapons. (这句有些突兀,没有阐释清楚,给人感觉人类就是好战的物种= =)So that the limited land of earth should ensure the development of human beings.

What is more, human beings is the hope of earth. Although human beings have used all kinds of source, making serious consequences to earth, the future of earth is dominated by human beings. With the development of human beings, the earth will be better and better. 感觉这段在重复上一段。。。

On the county side (country or contrary??), human beings and other animals are all of the sons of earth. It is unfair that endangered animals have no land for surviving. So, on the premise of the development of human beings, it should reserve some land for endangered animals. 个人觉得再多点衔接句这段可以接在其他段落后

In terms of the highest intelligence, greatest influence of human being, and the hope of earth, it is more important to reserve land for human being than endangered animals. 结尾感觉有些草草了事,可以稍稍再写得详尽些~

我这篇文章也写得挺不爽的。。。
这篇文章结构清楚的,注意些用词吧

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发表于 2010-7-7 21:01:03 |只看该作者
9# 空空仔 恩,谢谢啦

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发表于 2010-7-9 12:03:17 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 mitchelllc 于 2010-7-9 13:41 编辑

7.8的作文
Students would receive a better,effective education if they were required to attend classes for 11 months of a year.




Perhaps no issue in this world is as significant to students as education.Asked what teachers will do to ensure that students receive a better education,the response is always similar:the greatest contribution of requeiring students to attend more classes will let them have a better and effective education.Therefore,a great number of people hold that students should attend classes for 11 months of a year.As far as I am concerned,I totally object to this statement.



As we all know,students need much time to relax themselves during semesters.For students,after having classes for three months,they probably feel tired and boring.According to some latest researches,the efficiency of studying will descend if students have attended classes for more than three months.For example,they could concentrate on classes hardly and their homework will not be finished on time.One of my younger brother,who will attend National University Entrance Examinations next year,was required to have classes in summer vocation.He felt so boring in classes that he lied to his teachers that he was ill,in order to have a good rest at home.For students,rest is as important as studying.



Not only does students should not attend too much class comes from the factor that students need rest,but evidence of that better education also comes from society subsequently prove its irrational.It is widely accpted that society is another important teacher for students.A student who gets a higher score in class could not be called a good student.A high score is not equal to behaving well in society.According to a report,a students who graduated from Peking University,one of the top universities in China,could not find a job,since except studying,he could do nothing.Therefore,student should take part in social activities in their spare time.For students,their spare time is the vocation.If students are required to attend classes for 11 months in a year,when could they take part in social activities?It is irratitonal to require students having classes for 11 months.



What is more,teachers will also feel tired if they teach for 11 months in a year.Being a teacher,is one of the hardest job.They not only ensure the students having a better classes,but take care of their families.For most of teachers,their students are also their chilren.Some scholars have suggested that teachers need much more rest,for their health is poor.One of my

middle school teachers,got a serious disease last year,and had to rest at home for more than a year.Therefore,teachers also need a good rest after working hard for three months.



To sum up,I fully disagree with the statement that student should attend class for 11 months a year.Studens,also teachers,need the vocation to have a good rest.
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发表于 2010-7-9 16:23:07 |只看该作者
Students would receive a better,effective education if they were required to attend classes for 11 months of a year.

Perhaps no issue in this world is as significant to students as education.Asked what teachers will do to ensure that students receive a better education,the response is always similar:the greatest contribution of requiring requeiring students to attend more classes will bring let them have a better and effective education.Therefore,a great number of people hold that students should attend classes for 11 months of a year.As far as I am concerned,I totally object to this statement.



As we all know,students need much time to relax themselves during semesters.For students,after having classes for three months,they probably feel tired and boring.According to some latest researches,the efficiency of studying will descend if students have attended classes for more than three months.For example,they could concentrate on classes hardly and their homework will not be finished on time.One of my younger brothers,编个人名,who will attend National University Entrance Examinations next year,was required to have classes in summer vocation.He felt so boring in classes that he lied to his teachers that he was ill,in order to have a good rest at home.For students,rest is as important as studying.


Not only does students should not attend too much class应该是可数吧 comes from the factor that students need rest,but evidence of that better education also comes from society subsequently prove its irrational.It is widely accepted accpted that society is  also plays a vital of role of education. 
another important teacher for students.A student who gets a higher score in class could not be called a good student.A high score is not equal to performing?behaving well in society.According to a report,a students who graduated from Peking University,one of the top universities in China,could not find a job,since except studying,he could do nothing except studying .Therefore,student should take part in social activities in their spare time.For students,their spare time is the vocation.If students are required to attend classes for 11 months in a year,when could they take part in social activities?It is irratitonal? to require students having classes for 11 months。


What is more,teachers will also feel tired if they teach for 11 months in a year.Being a teacher,is one of the hardest job.They not only required to ensure the students having a better classes,but also ought to take care of their families.For most of teachers,their students are also their children chilren.Some scholars have suggested that teachers need much more rest,for their health is poor.One of my 

middle school teachers,got a serious disease last year,and had to rest at home for more than a year.Therefore,teachers also need a good rest after working hard for three months.这个角度很好,赞一个。



To sum up,I fully disagree with the statement that student should attend class for 11 months a year.Studens, and also teachers,need an the vocation to have a good rest.拼写的问题你自己再改改吧

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发表于 2010-7-9 17:17:39 |只看该作者
12# WINNIE678
呵呵,确实我的拼写错误不少。。。

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