占座

lxg198607UID：2564115

With rapid development of technology science and mass media, people would obtain more opportunities to encounter with numerous mass media, such as television, magzines, and Internet, similarily, more chance to approach to (这次感觉用得不妥。)variety of advertisements, which is regarded as the basic source of financial support for mass media. When it comes to whether advertisements is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits, people's views are divergent and complicated on such a controversial issue. From my personal view, advertisments have objectively influence person's eating habits to a great extent, especially for those children who do not possess ability to distinguish its disadvantages and advantages, as well as young lady while being obssessing with the good body figure in the magazine.
感觉开头写得太多了。感觉要把观点阐明。。
to begin with, advertisements isare the most significant cause of children's unhealthy eating habits. Business commercial advertisements aimed at children advertise food with little or no nutritional value such as sugared cereats, soda and fast-food meals. The advertisement is featured popular cartoon charactrs, which entice children more. The images in computer games also expose children to junk food. Advertisers are using coupons, in-store events and even organized word of mouth campaigns to get children to get their parents to buy the products. Those advertisements not only influence children's request of their parents, but also influnce their short term eating habits and comsumption patterns.
in addition, advertisements would definitely influence young women's the unhealty eating habits. Research now shows supermodel figure or the "ideal" thin woman reflected in magzine.These young women, obsessed with their own body image, would tend to eat more. Interestingly, those with a more balanced healthy body image tend to eat less. "I am not sure why we found the reverse but possibly because of stress...women are obsessed with their appearance, see the idealized image and think about their own body never become like those jsupermodels(这句两个动词), so they turn to more food." Lily, graduate student at the University of New
South Wales. Therefore, advertisements in magzines and televisions might force young women
turn to unhealty eating habits.

From what I have mentioned above, advertisements are the most paramount role in leading , unhealthy eating habits. For children, advertisements provide some little or no nutritional food and bad comsumption values to children, considering this, parents have the duty to
teach and decide for children what kinds of food children should have and to help them get into a good eating habits. For young women, advertisements offer them a certain press to lose weight, reversely, young women tend to eat more and become more and more unbalanced  
diet. For this, young women should be more rational and objective to those advertisements.

cocojamesUID：2797094

7月29日
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.



When it comes whether young people should change several jobs before they settle in a long career. People's view are quite different and divergent on such a complicated issue. From my point of view, I totally disagree with the statement that young people should try several jobs before taking a long career, although a few advantages would be taken into the account of trying several jobs, such as more experience in whole life. Several reasons are involved in my argument as following.



To begin with, I strongly disagree with try several jobs before taking a long term career because that variety frustrations in career are inevitable, and everything in the world goes like a crooked country road, with out exception of the career. Before 35 years old, people have to fight and struggle with their own technique ability, exactly their professional skills. Yet, after 35 years, people who have suffered a lot in his familiar field, would depend on the people relationship, experience and the public praise accumulated by themselves. A person who have altered jobs twice definitely takes less advantages comparing with those who haven't changed jobs yet in the same field. How time flies, as a young person, they should focus on show their personal ability within limited time but not seek for different unrelated jobs.



What's more, from the perspective of a human resource manager, they really don't like a person who have varied several jobs in a short period. In their eyes, people who changes jobs frequently might be regared as lack of credity. Obviously, human resource managers do not tend to hire this kind of person. Therefore, if a young person destory his or her loalty to company, how can he or she successfully find out their following jobs and stand stably in his career.



Finally, as a yong person who just step in society, the first and most important thing he or she should do is to establish their career direction, which help young person directly and successfully make a great contribution in their own field. A career direction is like a kind of a compass guiding a person walking out of the desert, in case of being lost in the desert. What's more, one person should not contemporarily establish several career direction, because one person do not have so much energy to engage in several fields. And it is impossible for one person to easily succeed in one field, not to mention several fields at the same time, especially for those young person. Thus, young person should first establish his or her own career direction, then adhere to it, finally succed in it.

From what I have mentioned above, it is unreasonable for a young person to try several jobs before taking a career, not only considering yong persons' uncompetent to succeed in several jobs, but also due to the side effect caused by changing several jobs which would annoy human resource manager. All in all, young people should establish a complete career direction and follow it, do not waste time on somewhat unrelated jobs.
不好意思，废话说了一大堆。还请你仔细看完，并认真修改下，呵呵

anitaxjaUID：2758421

With rapid development of technology science(science and technology比较常用哦，technology science我之前没有碰到过，百度一下也未果) and mass media, people would obtain more opportunities to encounter with numerous（这个词后面要跟可数名词，mass media是抽象名词，建议numerous...such as删除，with后直接跟television等） mass media, such as television, magzines, and Internet,（建议用句号结束掉，首句不宜过长）similarily(Similarly), there will be more chances to approach to varieties of advertisements, which is regarded as the basic source of financial support for mass media. When it comes to whether advertisements is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits, people's views are divergent and complicated（红色的这两个词删除，没有用complicated形容view的） on such a controversial issue. From my personal view, advertisments have objectively influence person's eating habits to a great extent, especially for those children who do not possess ability to distinguish its disadvantages and advantages, as well as young lady（ladies） while being obssessing（obsessed） with the good body figure in the magazine.
To begin with, advertisements is the most significant cause of children's unhealthy eating habits. Business commercial advertisements aimed at children advertise food with little or no nutritional value such as sugared cereats, soda and fast-food meals. The advertisement feature popular cartoon charactrs, which entice children more. The images in computer games also expose children to junk food. Advertisers are using coupons, in-store events and even organized word of mouth campaigns to get children to get their parents to buy the products. Those advertisements not only influence children's request of their parents, but also influnce their short term eating habits and comsumption patterns.(这一段我觉得写得很好，例子很到位，并列安排得当)
In addition, advertisements would definitely influence young women's the unhealty eating
habits. Research now shows supermodel figure or the "ideal" thin woman reflected in magazine.
These young women, obsessed with their own body image, would tend to eat more.
Interestingly, those with a more balanced healthy body image tend to eat less. "I am not
sure why we found the reverse but possibly because of stress...women obsessed with their
appearance, see the idealized image and think about their own body never become like those
supermodels, so they turn to more food", said Lily, graduate student at the University of New
South Wales. Therefore, advertisements in magazines and televisions might force young women
turn to unhealty eating habits.

From what I have mentioned above, advertisements are the most paramount role in leading
unhealthy eating habits. For children, advertisements provide some little or no nutritional
food and bad comsumption values to children, considering this, parents have the duty to
teach and decide for children what kinds of food children should have and to help them get
into a good eating habits. For young women, advertisements offer them a certain press to
lose weight, reversely, young women tend to eat more and become more and more unbalanced
diet. For this, young women should be more rational and objective to those advertisements.



总结:我觉得，总体上这篇文章写得不错，语言上，词汇运用灵活，句式多变；内容与细节上，有引语作为举例，有并列的例举充实细节，这些都做得很好。
不过，在语法上面，第一段的问题比较多，后面几段相对比较流畅。美中不足的是，个人感觉整篇文章读下来有一点冗长的感觉，有些内容强调地过多了，有一些疲累。
希望评价对LZ有帮助。

cocojamesUID：2797094

:loveliness:Thank you very much, anitaxja

wendychuengUID：2811319

晕。。。一键F4 快改好的全没了。。。wo F4是什么？？？

wendychuengUID：2811319

我改好了，在附件里

cocojamesUID：2797094

7月31日
(09.02.21) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign


When it comes to whether the newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign, people's view are divergent and different. From my point view, I totally disagree with newspapers and magazines are the best ways, considering their dismerit of lagging behind those updating news, unvivd image and private view and certain polictic tendency.

To begin with, the first reason why I disagree with this statement that newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign manily relates to that newspapers and magazines are likely to lag behind other mass media such as Internet and television. As we known, a great
deal of time have to be spent on layout, printing and pulishing, which lasts longer time than reports on television and Internet, not to mention that there is still a long period for readers to get newspapers and magazines from postoffice or book stands.

In addition, another reason why I support the assertion that newspapers and magazines are not the most good methods of learning about a forien is relevent to that newspapers and magazines are not so vivid as other mass media such as Internet and television. Tremendous animations and movements, sound as well are involved in televion and Internet, which, to the full extent, leave people deep impression. What's more, some prompt interaction programs might be invited on the Internet or by telephone with TV host, which sounds more interesting than newspapers and magazines do, and such brainstorms obviously help people broaden their mind.

Finally, to certain degree, somewhat authors' personal views and politic tendency might be conclued in the magazines and newspapers, although they have try their best to be objective. As a private person, the author has his or her own idea about those senstitive topics, inevitably, authors might also add some their own emotions into the topics which might dislead our readers, how can people objectively view the foreign world. Also, from the aspect of the government, governors do not want some negative reports about their own country from foreign world prevalent in their own country which discourage citizens and do harm to their governence.

From what I have mentioned above, it is reasonable to say that the newspapers and magazines are not the best ways to learn about a foreign. If people depend on newspapers and magazines to watch the world, they would risk lagging behind others, what's worse, tending to be prejuce and injustice.

crystal5841UID：2710710

23# cocojames

抱歉，昨天的作文现在才改好，请注意查收。

伶女UID：2797207

改好啦～～也请指教我的呢～～
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1118850-3-1.html

cocojamesUID：2797094

8月5日
09.05.30
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to
ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and
language.

When it comes to whether school children should be required to study art and music, people's view on such a complicated issue are quite divergent. From my personal view, I suppose that younger children should learn art and music, while considering the benefits obtained from the procedure of learning art and music, including enlighten younger children's awareness of creation, moulding younger children's personality, and building a skills for younger children to survive in the future severe competition.
To begin with, learning art and music definitely stimulates yonger children to be more creative in life. As we known, every younger child has the potential ability to be a genius, however, what they only lack is a good opportunity to assist them to awaken their own unique creative ability. It is drawing that evokes yonger student's ability to find out other people unaware thing around us. Younger children might show more attention to discover those unobvious trialities sorrounding us, which is a good way to build up the ability of creative.  
What's more, learning art and music does good to improve younger children's personality. With the process of learning music and art, younger children have to communicate with their friends even teachers, to express their ownselves through magic music. The more times those introverted yonger children open their mounth, the more open such younger children would be. My little newphew, James, about 8 years old, turns to be an extroverted guy, after he attending the music class, he always sing a song to me, and express how much he is attracted by those fantastic music. He smiles everyday just like a lilltle flower.
Last but not the least, learning art or music in the class is likely to provide skills for younger children to efficiently survive in such a severe competition. Music and art might be a good common topic among people, and then a closer relationship might be easier to be established. Thus, younger children might have more friends than others, which makes younger children experience less pressure in the future society.  
From what I have mentioned above, it is a great decision for younger children to learn music and art, which do a lot good to their own future. Younger children might have a creativity which help them to succeed easier than others, and have a good personality which attract more friends around them.