【Flyer小组习作】argument110-7.2

MaryWongUID: 2619999

TOPIC: ARGUMENT110 - The following appeared in a memo from the Principal of Sherwood Junior High School.

"It appears that the lighting in Sherwood High's classrooms, which have large windows but minimal overhead light sources, is impairing student academic performance and teacher morale. Records show that during December and January, the two months with the fewest hours of daylight, attendance rates fall, average daily class participation drops, and grades decline. Teacher resignations are also highest during these months. According to a study of Tundra Vocational School, which experiences entire seasons with little daylight, students' grade point averages increased when Day Glow light bulbs, which mimic sunlight, were installed in classrooms. This study suggests that Sherwood can improve students' academic performance and teachers' morale by using Day Glow light bulbs in winter."

This memo claims that installing of Day Glow (DG) will benefits students' performance and teachers' morale in evidences that Tundra Vocational School (TVS)'s success and the decrease in the attendance of Sherwood High School (SHS). The principal reasons that the increase in students' grade point in TVS and the declining situation in teaching of SHS are attributable to the DG light bulbs. There are several logical flaws in several respects.
To begin with, assuming that the lacking of overhead light impairs students' performance and teachers' morale, the principal overlooks the possibility that DG light bulb has little to do with the decreased situation of SHS in winter. Perhaps the weather during December and January is too cold to attend school for some students since SHS does not install enough water system, or the traffic situation on the way to SHS is always dangerous due to blizzard in winter. Either scenario, if true, would undermine the principal's claim that the falling attendance rates results from the minimal light sources. For that matter, the principal assumes that grades declining due to the poor light in classroom without any convincing reason. He or she obviously overlooks the likelihood that maybe the idleness in winter due to blue weather or the preparation of festivals such as Christmas Day has more attraction to students than learning in school. Moreover, perhaps the teachers' carelessness for some reasons in teaching results in the falling grades. For instance, less salary, too much working hours, and ideas to change the job could all contribute to the careless attitude towards the teaching and therefore could induce the high resignation.
Even if the assuming that the students and teachers’ sad performance both due to the poor light resource, the principal’s claim that the installing of DG was responsible for the TVS’s progress in education might nevertheless be unwarranted. It is entirely possible that DG has no part in the progress of TVS. New teachers with abundant experience, correction of students’ attitude towards learning could, as well as the utility of efficient modern experimental instrument might all contribute to the increasing in students’ grade point. If so, the fact would seriously weaken the principal’s claim that the TVS’s progress relies on the installing of DG light bulbs.
Finally, asides from the unwarranted assertion of the reason of the progress in TVS, in concluding that SHS should install DG in order to improve the students’ performance and teachers’ morale, the principal assumes that the experience in TVS could also be effective in SHS. It is very likely that the structure of building and electricity principle in SHS are not suitable to install DG. Without any demonstration on the comparison of the basic situation between TVS and SHS, the principal could not convince me on the claim. Besides, no evidence shows that the brand of light bulbs must be DG but not any other brands. Lacking such evidence, it is as likely that other brands of light bulbs are efficient too.
In sum, the principal has not convinced me that SHS should install DG if and only if they install DG light bulbs. To bolster the argument the principal must rule out all other reasons for the bad performance of students and low morale of teachers, and must show that DG light bulbs are capable to solve the problem.

柏拉图的世界UID: 2581296

1# MaryWong
TOPIC: ARGUMENT110 - The following appeared in a memo from the Principal of Sherwood Junior High School.

"It appears that the lighting in Sherwood High's classrooms, which have large windows but minimal overhead light sources, is impairing student academic performance and teacher morale. Records show that during December and January, the two months with the fewest hours of daylight, attendance rates fall, average daily class participation drops, and grades decline. Teacher resignations are also highest during these months. According to a study of Tundra Vocational School, which experiences entire seasons with little daylight, students' grade point averages increased when Day Glow light bulbs, which mimic sunlight, were installed in classrooms. This study suggests that Sherwood can improve students' academic performance and teachers' morale by using Day Glow light bulbs in winter."

This memo claims that installing of Day Glow (DG) will benefits students' performance and teachers' morale in evidences that Tundra Vocational School (TVS)'s success and the decrease in the attendance of Sherwood High School (SHS). The principal reasons that the increase in students' grade point in TVS and the declining situation in teaching of SHS are attributable to the DG light bulbs. There are several logical flaws in several respects.
To begin with, assuming that the lacking of overhead light impairs students' performance and teachers' morale, the principal overlooks the possibility that DG light bulb has little to do with the decreased situation of SHS in winter. Perhaps the weather during December and January is too cold to attend school for some students since SHS does not install enough water system, or the traffic situation on the way to SHS is always dangerous due to blizzard in winter. Either scenario, if true, would undermine the principal's claim that the falling attendance rates results from the minimal light sources. For that matter, the principal assumes that grades declining due to the poor light in classroom without any convincing reason. He or she obviously overlooks the likelihood that maybe the idleness in winter due to blue weather or the preparation of festivals such as Christmas Day has more attraction to students than learning in school. Moreover, perhaps the teachers' carelessness for some reasons in teaching results in the falling grades. For instance, less salary, too much working hours, and ideas to change the job could all contribute to the careless attitude towards the teaching and therefore could induce the high resignation.
Even if the assuming that the students and teachers’ sad performance both due to the poor light resource, the principal’s claim that the installing of DG was responsible for the TVS’s progress in education might nevertheless be unwarranted. It is entirely possible that DG has no part in the progress of TVS. New teachers with abundant experience, correction of students’ attitude towards learning could, as well as the utility of efficient modern experimental instrument might all contribute to the increasing in students’ grade point. If so, the fact would seriously weaken the principal’s claim that the TVS’s progress relies on the installing of DG light bulbs.[逻辑乱的很。起首先假设学生和老师的表现是因为光线不足的问题，后面又说气温的问题可能导致装了灯也不能改善。这实际上就是说，问题不在于光线而在于温度。同样的问题出在了TVS的例子里。你后面提出的可能性实际上就是说明了不是DG的灯提高了表现。]
Finally, asides from the unwarranted assertion of the reason of the progress in TVS, in concluding that SHS should install DG in order to improve the students’ performance and teachers’ morale, the principal assumes that the experience in TVS could also be effective in SHS. It is very likely that the structure of building and electricity principle in SHS are not suitable to install DG. Without any demonstration on the comparison of the basic situation between TVS and SHS, the principal could not convince me on the claim. Besides, no evidence shows that the brand of light bulbs must be DG but not any other brands. Lacking such evidence, it is as likely that other brands of light bulbs are efficient too.
In sum, the principal has not convinced me that SHS should install DG if and only if they install DG light bulbs. To bolster the argument the principal must rule out all other reasons for the bad performance of students and low morale of teachers, and must show that DG light bulbs are capable to solve the problem.

To conclude,
我是觉得你的逻辑比较紊乱。举例并不与每段的TS相符。而且，应用Even if，Assuming等让步的时候还是要注意让步的步骤。
我建议按如下顺序让步：
1.SHS的糟糕表现可能不是由于灯光。可能是由于天气冷。
2.TVS的改善可能不是由于灯光。可能是因为引入了新的优秀教师。
3.就算SHS的糟糕表现和TVS的改善都是由于灯光，也不代表TVS的方法可以成功移植到SHS。就比如说SHS的建筑结构比较复杂，灯光布置不一定能够达到良好的效果。