进军美利坚作文作业贴

nunulongUID: 2172898

44# jjooyy

谢谢你的修改和意见，共同进步！

nunulongUID: 2172898

45# tmdxlp

谢谢你的修改和意见，共同进步！

nunulongUID: 2172898

谢谢同组同学修改，请提出宝贵意见。

NO.xiaoyuyuUID: 2842596

31作文已改好！期待回改！

nunulongUID: 2172898

49# NO.xiaoyuyu

谢谢你的修改和意见！

fd笑笑UID: 2791669

对不起，改晚了。

nunulongUID: 2172898

51# fd笑笑

没事，谢谢你的修改和意见！

nunulongUID: 2172898

辛苦同组同学批阅，请提出宝贵意见，谢谢！

crystal5841UID: 2710710

53# nunulong

抱歉，发晚了~~~

shengzhi86UID: 2757306

改完

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54# crystal5841

谢谢你的修改和意见，我不是限时完成的，我是怕考试时没有思路，字数不够，所以就拼命多写点，你说得很对，我应该限时并且紧扣题目来写，共同进步！

nunulongUID: 2172898

55# shengzhi86

谢谢你的修改和意见！

nunulongUID: 2172898

8月5日作文迟交了，同组同学不好意思，请大家提出宝贵意见，谢谢！

linran0108UID: 2864715

(09.05.30NA)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

Accompanying with drastic competition in every aspect of society, parents increasingly lay emphasis on education of children, which induces heavier burdens that adults force kids to be trained in many fields. From my point of view, I possess a negative attitude toward the statement that children at the age of 5 to 10 have to take the courses of art and music besides major courses.
个人觉得开头写得非常赞。两句话很简单，没有赘言，但是意思都到了，词也好。
It has been admitted to some extent that dabbling in different fields at the early age enables children’s brains to be exploited. （good）Early period of children is the significant phase  brain cells skyrocket. At the same time their ability of perceiving exterior world is working up to relative maturity. In this case, children will be curious about novelty through their five senses. Therefore, studying at elementary school is regarded as necessity. Once entering school, they will study many kinds of courses ranging form liberal arts to science, which enlarges children’s scope of knowledge and broadens the horizon as well as paves the way for further development.（good）

Whereas, it is the fact  universally acknowledged that everything has its own capacity of endurance especially for children. Major courses such as math, language, science and so forth play significant roles in future career and life, so it is reasonable that these curriculums are obligatory for kids. Children have already taken so many courses at the age of 5 to 10 that learning extra classes will contort their natural growths, which brings on many tragedies nowadays such as disgust at study, physical degradation and psychological problems. （good）What’s more, children can listen to music or draw what they imagine at any moment. There is no need to establish a strict environment for them to learn music or art. As I discussed before, children has the innate ability of perceiving world, thus, they can learn everywhere and anytime if they like.

Additionally, many elementary schools have applied the system of credit which is derived from universities. For a long-term practice, the positive effects have been apparent. This measure indeed handles the dilemma between major courses and minor courses and changes the traditional cramming education to education with freedom and interest. Teachers no longer impart knowledge by inflexible syllabus and children can choose courses by their own inclination. （good）For example, if kids are crazy about classical music, they can go to music class. If they are curious about Renaissance of Europe, they can tend to learn more in art class. Maybe students in the classroom are not from the same class, but they can get acquainted with one another and make friends. Hence, the free optional form of courses is more scientific and suitable for the development of children.

All in all, children shoulder heavier burden from parents and society. However, they are too young to be faced with so many pressures and difficulties. They should be given a loose and joyful atmosphere to learn and grow up. In addition to major courses, it is unnecessary to ask children to learn much unless they are interested in what they study. After all, health and happiness is the key to children.
总评：字数有些多，我觉得要在时间内写完有点，嗯••当然我是以我自己的速度来评判。其他的，总体非常好，用词很地道，很多句子写得非常漂亮。学习之~~

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59# linran0108

没有限时，向扩充一下思路，限时写作文挺发愁，争取尽快限时！谢谢修改和意见！