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[i习作temp] 【Flyer杀G作文组】第十次作业7月12日Issue88-By afufu1124 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-7-12 02:27:42 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 afufu1124 于 2010-7-12 02:29 编辑

88. "Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."
分类:科技
论点:赞成influence,反对determine
开头:背景知识(对social customs ethics 进行解释,及科技发展的影响方式)+观点
Influence作为事实性,determine是作者的观点。故关键词是determine
无奈——严重缺乏例子,要向大家学习
Whether technology actually determines social customs and ethics depends on how social customs and ethics develop from as far as the ancient till present days. History informs us that the development of social customs and ethics are closely relate to the thoughts of contemporaries, who add new elements to the tradition, change original components or even create new customs, diminish original traditions. It is obvious that technology is not a necessary part through the transformation of social customs and ethics, while it does effect the way how these transformation happens, especially in modern times.

By playing important part in communication in-between people, technologies have been inevitably affecting the transformation and formation of social customs and ethics. One apt illustration of this point involves the prevalence of instant massaging instrument, with which came network language, an important component of current social customs and ethics.
Perhaps more important, technologies accelerate the speed of information spreading, not only from person to person, but from country to country. Greater audiences are taking glance of customs created from other societies, and this is helpful in spawning exchange and learning from each other.

Yet, that kind of influence technologies place on social customs and ethics is far from what could be recognized as “determinate”, since people are still able to continue their distinct customs and ethics without the help of technologies. In fact, people incline to keep the authentic of customs and ethics by avoiding applying too much technologies throughout the process. For example, instead of sending e-cards, people would rather prepare paper cards that illustrate the genuineness of the sender.

What’s more, there are many a social custom that perfectly survives and flourishes without the support from technologies. Take the newly developed custom—60 earthhour as an example, lights are turned off for one hour from 20:30 to
21:30 every last Saturday in March. Rather than depend on lights, people around the world start to reduce the energy-consuming technology products in order to better protect the environment of the earth.

In sum, while technologies may have influenced the social customs and ethics, people are trying to retain their social customs and social from being enslaved by and setting free from the technologies, so as to hold the essence of social customs and ethics.
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发表于 2010-7-13 18:40:18 |只看该作者
88. "Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."
分类:科技
论点:赞成influence,反对determine
开头:背景知识(对social customs ethics 进行解释,及科技发展的影响方式)+观点
Influence作为事实性,determine是作者的观点。故关键词是determine
无奈——严重缺乏例子,要向大家学习

Whether technology actually determines social customs and ethics depends on how social customs and ethics develop from as far as the ancient till present days. History informs us that the development of social customs and ethics are closely related to the thoughts of contemporaries, who(用which 指代development of social…) add new elements to the tradition, change original components or even create new customs, diminish original traditions. It is obvious that technology is not a necessary part through(有点怪,用in 怎么样?) the transformation of social customs and ethics, while it does effect(affect是影响,effect是生效吧) the way how these transformation happens, especially in modern times.


By playing an important part in communication in-between people, technologies have been inevitably affecting(传说中的,现在完成进行式,学习….) the transformation and formation of social customs and ethics. One apt illustration of this point involves the prevalence of instant massaging instrument, with which came network language, an important component of current social customs and ethics.(才疏学浅,这个例子我查了半天字典没有研究明白,是不是太专业了?)

Perhaps more important, technologies accelerate the speed of information spreading, not only from person to person, but from country to country. Greater audiences are taking glance of customs created from other societies, and this is helpful in spawning exchange and learning from each other.  //这里举 the invention of Mobile Phone, Using Internet 作为例子。但要注意把 accelerate the speed of information spreading 与 influencing ethics联系上

Yet, that kind of influence technologies place on social customs and ethics is far from what could be recognized as “determinate”, since people are still able to continue their distinct customs and ethics without the help of technologies. In fact, people incline to keep the authentic of customs and ethics by avoiding applying too many technologies throughout the process. For example, instead of sending e-cards, people would rather prepare paper cards that illustrate the genuineness of the sender.  //应该加个总结一下,说明例子说明什么…

What’s more, there are many a social customs that perfectly survive and flourish without the support from technologies. Take the newly developed custom—60 earth hour as an example, lights are turned off for one hour from 20:30 to 21:30 every last Saturday in March. Rather than depend on lights, people around the world start to reduce the energy-consuming technology products in order to better protect the environment of the earth. //还是应该加个总结,说明例子说明了什么

In sum, while technologies may have been influencing(用现在完成不太好吧) the social customs and ethics, people are trying to retain their social customs and social from being enslaved by and setting free from the technologies, so as to hold the essence of social customs and ethics.

字太少,才378
论证也不是很有力,举完例子,应该解释一下,例子告诉我们什么道理。
某些句子结构也不好。
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RE: 【Flyer杀G作文组】第十次作业7月12日Issue88-By afufu1124 [修改]

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