彩晶的托福独立作文贴~加油加油

彩晶UID: 2539032

新人报道，这是自托福考试惨败后第一次写作文，请大家批评指教，谢谢各位童鞋先:) ~~~要更加努力，坚持写下去，争取100+！！！（群里说最好附上word 版，不知道怎样附上，请见谅！有知道的麻烦告诉我，十分感谢！！！）

7月13日作业：
It is better to watch serious movies that help people think to watch movies that could amuse and entertain people.

Undoubtedly, watching serious movies can help people think deep and comprehensively, Students will also acquire history or science knowledge from watching them. However, non-serious movies such as love movies, science fiction movies, and cartoons will give us a lot of fun. From my perspective of view, I would like to watch both serious movies and other kinds of movies.

In the first place, watching serious movies have many benefits. Documentary films, historical movies, science films, politics movies contains abundant information of our real life, it is also a way to know the society better, get to know many things not mentioned in our text book. We can get a thorough understanding about the world. My dad is a perfect example in this case, he loves watching movies, especially serious ones. Founding of the Republic is his favorite.

Further more, it is convenient for us to know the recent news without stepping out of our living room with a television in it, obtain history knowledge though actors’ vivid performance, know the basic science even though we are not scientists. I like one English movie named The Queen. It tells us the fact that the British royal family’s life after the death o princess Diana, and what they had done during this hard time.

However, superior as serious movies are, they also have disadvantages, for example, serious movies have serious atmosphere when you watching them, the tedious content would let people feel boring. After a day’s hard study or work, people want to have some fun not only to relax their physical body but also their emotional mind. I am a college student majoring in Law, in the daytime, I got plenty of complicated stuff to do, those complex cases and law are driving me crazy. After school, when I get home, I really want to have a rest. Believe it or not, I love the series of Harry Porter, I have watched the six movie for no less then a hundred of time. I can remember every details of this wonderful story. It gives me a magic world to escape when I am tried of the real one. I once fantasize if the magic is exist, we do not need to enact so many laws, magic can tell us who is the bad guy and get him punished. Life would be so much easier.

From what have discussed above, we can clearly see that both serious movies and movies that could amuse and entertain people have their own advantages. We choose what we watch depends on our mood and purpose. They have the same importance to us all.

canoe03UID: 2786666

Undoubtedly,watching serious movies can help people think deep(deeply) andcomprehensively, Students will also acquire history or science knowledge fromwatching them. However, non-serious movies such as love movies, science fictionmovies, and cartoons will give us a lot of fun. From my perspective of view(of view可以删掉), I would like to watchboth serious movies and other kinds of movies.

Inthe first place, watching serious movies have many benefits. Documentaryfilms, historical movies, science films, politics movies contains abundantinformation of our real life, it is also a way to know the society better, getto know many things not mentioned in our text book(这里面有三个小句子，应该用合适的词把他们连接起来). We can get a thorough understanding about the world. My dadis a perfect example in this case, he loves watching movies, especially seriousones. Founding of the Republic is his favorite.(突然就没有了，后面再写一点点啦)

Furthermore, it is convenient for us to know the recent news without stepping out ofour living room with a television in it(这个句子甚为拗口，建议改一下), obtain history knowledge though(through)actors’ vivid performance, (and) know the basic science even though weare not scientists. I like one(a) English movie named The Queen. Ittells us the fact that the British royal family’s life after the death oprincess Diana, and what they had done during this hard time.

However,superior as serious movies are, they also have disadvantages, for example,serious movies have serious atmosphere when you watching them, the tediouscontent would let(make)people feel boring. After a day’s hard study or work, people want to have somefun not only to relax their physical body but also their emotional mind. I am acollege student majoring in Law, in the daytime, I got plenty of complicatedstuff to do, those complex cases and law are driving me (to be?动词后面不好直接接形容词的) crazy. After school, when I get home, I really want to havea rest. Believe it or not, I love the series of Harry Porter, I have watchedthe six movie for no less then a hundred of time(times). I can remember every details ofthis wonderful story. It gives me a magic world to escape when I am tried ofthe real one. I once fantasize if the magic is exist, we do not need to enactso many laws, magic can tell us who is the bad guy and get him punished. Lifewould be so much easier.

Fromwhat have discussed above, we can clearly see that both serious movies andmovies that could amuse and entertain people have their own advantages. Wechoose what we watch depends on our mood and purpose. They have the sameimportance to us all.

楼主可能是刚开始写作文，有三个问题：1、楼主有写语法错误，有些表述比较中式。2、在一个长句子里面，出现好几个独立的句子。楼主可以用合适的词把他们连接起来，或者用句号把它们分开。3、楼主的态度是中庸的，说A、B两种电影都可，T作文貌似比较忌讳骑墙的态度，最好有个立场。(后来又想了想，可能我理解题目也有偏差，如有异议，请宽宥本人水平实在不佳)

layla1989UID: 2832481

Undoubtedly, watching serious movies can help people think deep and comprehensively, Students will also acquire history or science knowledge from watching them. However, non-serious movies such as love movies, science fiction movies, and cartoons will give us a lot of fun. From my perspective of view, I would like to watch both serious movies and other kinds of movies（题目问的是那种更有益而不是作者的个人喜好）.- l4 D2 Q4 V3 y$ ^) l* Q0 v4 Q' G2 L

In the first place, watching serious movies have（动名词作主语，动词用单数） many benefits. Documentary films, historical movies, science films (and) politics movies contains （contain）abundant information of our real life. it is also a way to know the society better, get to know many things not mentioned in our text book. We can get a (删)thorough understanding about the world. My dad is a perfect example in this case.
he loves watching movies, especially serious ones. Founding of the Republic is his favorite.(例子的目的不明确~爸爸喜欢看电影就喜欢上电影貌似不能证明什么啊~~~还有就是最后founding……表达有误，简化之后就是founding is favorite主宾显然不搭)
k/ F9 [
Further more, it is convenient for us to know the recent news without stepping out of our living room with a television in it, to obtain history knowledge though actors’ vivid performance,and to know the basic science even though we are not scientists.（多余，还有这整句话是有三个并列成分，it is convenient to…… to ……and to……） I like one English movie named The Queen. It tells us the fact that the British royal family’s life after the death o princess Diana, and what they had done during this hard time.（感觉一二段的论点没有什么区别，第二段论述的电影的方便之处没有独特性，不能明确看出是在说电影）) D+ Y6 s! B2 n- u9 M1 V# U
3 k' C; e6 c' O1 f2 x9 c+ w1 B
However, superior as serious movies are, they also have disadvantages, for example, serious movies have serious atmosphere when you watching them, the tedious content would let people feel boring. After a day’s hard study or work, people want to have some fun not only to relax their physical body（表达不恰当）
but also their emotional mind.（not onlybut also 结构用的不对to relax their 最好放在not only前） I am a college student majoring in Law, in the daytime, I got plenty of complicated stuff to do, those complex cases and law are driving me crazy. After school, when I get home, I really want to have a rest. Believe it or not, I love the series of Harry Porter, I have watched the six movie for no less then（than） a hundred of times. I can remember every details of this wonderful story. It gives me a magic world to escape when I am tried of the real one. I once fantasize if the magic is exist, we do not need to enact so many laws, magic can tell us who is the bad guy and get him punished. Life would be so much easier.3 z  x) E" q3 X0 q
From what have discussed above, we can clearly see that both serious movies and movies that could amuse and entertain people have their own advantages. We choose what we watch depends on our mood and purpose. They have the same importance to us all.
建议：
文中有些画了下划线的句子，基本都是N个动词再一句话里，不知道是作者故意懒得分成几句话还是语法有误，请楼主注意。
举例太个人化，都是有关自己的例子。

彩晶UID: 2539032

不好意思，交晚了，抱歉抱歉。感谢之前牛人们的批改，错误一定尽力改正！！！这篇作文超时了，下次会注意时间！求批改:handshake
7月15日
People should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.
       
I do not agree with this idea that people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.

Living in one place all life can save you a large mount of money. You do not need to worry about the furniture relocation or expensive rent. Make friends with your neighbors. Everything is familiar to you. My aunt Judy and uncle Donny have lived in their lovely house in the country ever since they married, for nearly 30 years, they still live there even their children all go to work in the big city and they can afford a house in that city. In one hand, they unaccustomed to the busy city life, quite and easy country live is more suit them, in the other hand, they have a obsession with the place they live, there are so many things and moments to memorize. So they love living there. But when we consider it in another way, you may feel bored living in such unchanged style.

However, there are also a lot of people like to move to another place occasionally, since they changing their apartment when they changing their job, or go to a different school. The new living place will do a favor to their work or study. So why not? My family is a good example in this case, I have experienced 5 move since I can remember. The latest move happened last year, for my younger sister can save time to go to school, and I started to live on campus for the same reason.

Furthermore, moving to another place can give you feelings of freshness, get to know this place in a better way. In my class, we have a special classmate named Annie, she is a cute hybrid girl, and her father is Chinese while her mother is English. She was born in England and grown up there, but her father was detached to China as a district manager, so her family moved to China, she had learned Chinese before, but she has never expected to live or study in China. She feels everything is new to her at the beginning, and now Beijing is grown up on her.

Considering all factors we discussed above, people make different choices depending on the situation they are facing, in my opinion, I do not think that people should live in one place all life instead of moving to another place.