issue 136 欢迎拍文作文修改小组7月15号作业

dsndiziUID: 2792853

TOPIC: ISSUE136 - "The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
WORDS: 504
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2010-7-15 17:07:45

Does it true that the circumstance in which choice is absent is very, very rare as the author suggested? In response to the issue, we need to analyze the proposition comprehensively and systematically. The assertion has merit from a normative standpoint, which I agree with, that there indeed exists many choices for today's people, while after thorough consideration, the assertion still to be flawed and defected, from my perspective, the author overlooks that there are a certain number of particular situations that choice can not be made randomly.

First and foremost, there is no denying that people have many choices when making a decision in various domains, as while society has expanded dramatically ever before. For example, in the field of economy, it is not odd to see, people today can decide which bank to choose for storing their money, likely, with so many clothes listed in shopping-malls, people choose whatever they want. What' more, in the realm of education, people can chose the academic field they will study only due to their interests. In this sense, because of the variety of society and open market economy background, providing many rooms for people to choose.

In the second place, despite the merit from the assertion, I still can not wholly agree with the conclusion. Because in some particular fields, choices can not only based on one person himself, but also effected by rational or ethical sense or the physical situations background. for example, students who suffering from poverty may have no choice but to work even that there are so many schools exist, therefore, it is the physical situation of poverty that prevents these students from further developing, as well as deprives the right of choosing. On the other hand, in respect of political realms, there are also many examples which can illustrate this point. Take Nixon, for instance, the president of the Unit State, who manufactured the event of Watergate, after the uncover of
Watergate, no matter how powerful a president may has, Nixon had no choice but to resign his occupation of chairman under the press of massive public. In sum, influenced by particular factors choices may not be easily made according to above analysis.

Finally and may be the most importantly, there are also some circumstances that people have no guarantee
for making choices, thus our society, or government should reinforce and make complete the leaks. Typically in laws' field, as law tightly links to people's right, law' system stands at a considerably crucial level in the society value. With the high development of society, more and more complex relationships have emerged, thus for maintaining the health economy and social life, law system should be perfect day by day to make sure that every people has their choice in the reign of law's protection, for example, take the former instance, if the students who are really in poverty and also has strong desire of studying relative regulations could probably give them a chance. Thus in order to help people have more choices, it is reasonable to improve the regulations.

From the analysis above, I would like to commit to the optimal conclusion that the right of choices differs due to certain circumstances, and actions should be made to reduce the circumstances that choices can not be made.

yaniiUID: 2807225

Does it true that the circumstance in which choice is absent is very, very rare as the author suggested? In response to the issue, we need to analyze the proposition comprehensively and systematically. The assertion has merit from a normative standpoint, which I agree with, that there indeed exists（exist） many choices for today's people（people today）, while after thorough consideration, the assertion still（how come ‘still’？）
to be flawed and defected, from my perspective, the author overlooks that there are a certain number of particular situations that choice can not be made randomly（Do you mean there may be some cases in which people cannot have not choices? I think the word ‘randomly’may not be appropriate used here）.

First and foremost, there is no denying that people have many choices when making a decision in various domains, as while society has expanded dramatically ever before. For example, in the field of economy, it is not odd to see, people today can decide which bank to choose for storing their money, likely, with so many clothes listed in shopping-malls, people choose whatever they want. What' more, in the realm of education, people can chose the academic field they will study only due to their interests. In this sense, because of the variety of society and open market economy background, providing many rooms for people to choose( sentence fragment).

In the second place, despite the merit from
（of） the assertion, I still can not wholly agree with the conclusion. Because in some particular fields, choices can not only based on one person himself, but also effected by rational or ethical sense or the physical situations background (Maybe you can choose either of them.). for example, students who suffering from poverty may have no choice but to work even that(a little queer)
there are so many schools existing, therefore, it is the physical situation of poverty that prevents these students from further developing, as well as deprives their right of choosing. On the other hand, in respect of political realms, there are also many examples which can illustrate this point. Take Nixon, for instance, the president of the Unit State, who manufactured the event of Watergate, after the uncover of
Watergate, no matter how powerful a president( he may has been) may has, Nixon had no choice but to resign his occupation of chairman under the press of massive public. In sum, influenced by particular factors choices may not be easily made according to above analysis.

Finally and may be the most importantly, there are also some circumstances that people have no guarantee for making choices, thus our society, or government should reinforce and make complete the leaks.(I can’t get you mean here) Typically in laws' field, as law tightly links to people's right, law' system stands at a considerably crucial level in the society value. With the high development of society, more and more complex relationships have emerged, thus for maintaining the health economy and social life, law system should be perfect day by day to make sure that every people has their choice in the reign of law's protection, for example, take the former instance, if the students who are really in poverty and also has strong desire of studying relative regulations could probably give them a chance. Thus in order to help people have more choices, it is reasonable to improve the regulations.(sentence fragment)

From the analysis above, I would like to commit to the optimal conclusion that the right of choices differs due to certain circumstances, and actions should be made to reduce the circumstances that choices can not be made.
总体结构还不错，只是个别句子没有表达完整。
另外对你观点， Situations in which choices can’t be made should be eliminated分析的不是很全面，而且 law system should be improved to guarantee every body have the rights for law’s protection这点有些片面。法律的存在不是保证每个人在各种情况下都有选择的余地，而且健全的法律不见得会给所有人寻求保护的权利，想一下对一些触犯了法律的人来说，他们唯有接受处罚。

dsndiziUID: 2792853

2# yanii
诶 你说的对。。。法律那个例子我是用到回来自己写的都心虚了  我再改一个~~

听说你要考试了！那祝你超长发挥~！