【Flyer杀G作文组】7.14ARGUMENT 147

wagner1985UID: 2838595

ARGUMENT 147

147. The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."



      Citing a survey which suggests this sales trend of video games is about to be reversed, the author believes that if the extensive advertising campaign is directed at the people 10 to 25years and introduces them the lifelike graphics games, and then the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. However, the conclusions relied on a series of unproven assumptions and incomplete survey,and it therefore is unconvincing as it stands.

      To begin with, the author provides no evidence that the survey’ respondents are representative of the overall group of people who are potential buyers of the video games. The experienced players may not contain all the people who would purchase and play the video games. For example, some children grew up, who have never tried these games and may begin to play these games. And they may not so care about the lifelike graphics in the games as older ones did. For that matter,the survey may fail to provide the broad psychology of potential consumers.

      Nor can the author justify the advertisement towards the people 10 to 25 years old is appropriate. Lacking the evidence of the distribution of players or consumers’ ages, the author could hardly conclude the advertisement could efficiently cover all the ages of the potential consumers. It is entirely possible that people, who is out of the range, are really interested in their games. And perhaps the children in the range are too young to enjoy the adult lifelike content in games. In short, without better evidence that the age range of advertisement’s targets people is statistically reliable, the author may overestimate the real effect of the campaign.

      Even if the evidence and advertisement are all reasonable, the sales may not roar up as the author’s anticipation, because a considerable number of people in this town may not own so advanced computers to operate these programs, though they really favor them. Or else, some people really have the proper level computers but they cannot afford the horrible price of the games. Or else, some folks are likely to be satisfied with their owned games and enjoyed them, and therefore have no intention to replace them. Anyway, sale of any products depends on a great number of variables, such as the width of market, consumers’ income levels or preference or even the fierceness of competitive in the world, which are not taken into the consideration in the argument by the author

      In sum, the argument relies on what might amount to incomplete surveys and analysis about the market. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide better evidence about the preference of potential buyers, the typical age group of players, their sales strategies and all the other factors which may link with the sales. To evaluate the variation of sales of Whirlwind, people also have to know the conditions about other kinds of products sold by the Whirlwind.

MaryWongUID: 2619999

1# wagner1985


For example, some children grew up, who have never tried these games and may begin to play these games——这句虽然没错，但读起来很不顺。
其他都挺好的，虽然是该我给你拍文，可我实在没什么建议好提，假设例证到位，用的也应是自己的模板，不错。