【Flyer杀G作文组】7.15-Argument 147-By CC

师大菜菜UID: 2838404

TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
WORDS: 373
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2010/7/15 10:22:09

The speaker conclude that the sales of Whilwind(WW) video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months for the reason that the company has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old who are considered by the author as the age-group most likely to play video games. To further support that conclusion, the author also cite a survey on video-game players which draws a conclusion that players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics. However, after carefully analysis, I find out several logical fallacies in the argument which will be discussed as follow.

To begin with, without any proof, it is not convincing that people 10 to 25 years old most likely to play video games. In the argument, the speaker fails to give any evidence to support the assertion. Maybe the assertion is from the past survey. It is true in the past but not at present. It is also possible that the assertion just the author's assumption. All in all, it cannot lend any support to the conclusion.

What's more, even if it is true that players preferring games that lifelike graphics, but it doesn't mean this kind of games all will be sold well.
A successful game requires many features such as the background story of the game, the price, and so on. Without more information about the WW's video games, the speaker cannot draw the conclusion that they are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.

At last, the advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old while the survey is on all video-games player, so the latter cannot support the former powerfully. It is possible that people in other age-group rather than in 10 to 25 years old more likely to play video games while the WW advertising campaign never consider them. In this case, the campaign will cannot make WW's video games increasing.

To sum up, in order to make the argument persuasive, the author should give more evidence to proof it makes sense that people 10 to 25 years old most likely to play video games. What's more, more carefully market analyzing about the WW's video games also should be executed.

中间回了个短信，要不字可以写得多一些的

candygegeUID: 2792059

The speaker conclude that the sales of Whilwind(WW) video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months for the reason that the company has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old who are considered by the author as the age-group most likely to play video games. To further support that conclusion, the author also cite a survey on video-game players which draws a conclusion that players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics. However, after carefully analysis, I find out several logical fallacies in the argument which will be discussed as follow.（words:105）

To begin with, without any proof, it is not convincing that people 10 to 25 years old most likely to play video games. In the argument, the speaker fails to give any evidence to support the assertion. Maybe the assertion is from the past survey. It is true in the past but not at present. It is also possible that the assertion just the author's assumption. All in all, it cannot lend any support to the conclusion.

What's more, even if it is true that players preferring games that lifelike graphics, but it doesn't mean this kind of games all will be sold well. A successful game requires many features such as the background story of the game, the price, and so on. Without more information about the WW's video games, the speaker cannot draw the conclusion that they are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.

At last, the advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old while the survey is on all video-games player, so the latter cannot support the former powerfully. It is possible that people in other age-group rather than in 10 to 25 years old more likely to play video games while the WW advertising campaign never consider them. In this case, the campaign will cannot make WW's video games increasing. (words:220)

To sum up, in order to make the argument persuasive, the author should give more evidence to proof it makes sense that people 10 to 25 years old most likely to play video games. What's more, more carefully market analyzing about the WW's video games also should be executed.(words:49)
总结：
开头过于拖沓。占了三分之一的篇幅，中间论述过于分散，没有展开，感觉只是蜻蜓点水般将攻击点罗列了出来，并没有展开什么攻击啊。。。
建议，简化开头，在主体内容上下功夫。

corrine2011UID: 2822773

:loveliness:请问这个组还能再加一个人吗？想要有点约束力，好好准备作文:victory: