Alegría的作文帖

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各位大侠和同仁， 从今日起Alegría正式进军托福写作!请各位不留情面，用大刀大斧（或者任意其他毒门武器）批改我的作文吧！


7.24 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life


Sports are the necessary components of our lifes. While some people believe that sports are simply a way to let us sweat and improve our health, many others hold the opinion that sports teach us lessons about lifes. Of my own standpoint, sports give us more than sweat, they teach us how to succeed in our daily life.

When we want to beat our opponent on the court, we have to keep practicing to improve our skills. This can be applied in the real world as well. A junior employee need to steadily improve his/her expertice as well as communication skills. Only if his/her supervisor sees his/her potential, which can be shown in continuous progress, will he/she have a chance to get promotion.

Another thing we learn from sports is the ability to adapt. There are no so-called golden principles neither in the sport competitions nor in our careers. We need to use different strategies to deal with the changing situations. Just like a footballer who recently has gone to a new club, a newcomer in the office has to work as hard as he could to adapt to the new working environment in the first place. If one can’t change himself to suit the company, he can never contribute to the company’s success.

Thirdly, sports teach us to be stronger, and we learn how to face failures from them. When we can manage failures in sport games, we are able to control our emotions when failing in the workplace as well. Failures are the mother of success, as the saying goes.  So if we get stronger after being beaten , chances are that success is on its way.

According to the reasons mentioned above, I firmly believe sports are more than entertainment, they are a recipe for  successful life.

chenrubingUID: 2856741

7.22（08.10.25NA）
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Students who keep their rooms neat and organized will be more likely to succeedthan students who do not.


Students’ roomsare commonly known for their untidiness, though a few students would like tokeep their rooms as clean as possible. While some people argue that the statusof the student’s room has nothing to do with his/her future, many othersmaintain that those who keep their rooms neat are more likely to succeed. Ibelieve that a clean room shows various qualities which are necessary forsuccess in the future.

A neat room showsthat the student is well-organized, which means that he/she knows how to putthings in different categories and he/she can find the thing he/she wants in asecond. This could be very helpful in one’s success. A leader of a projectneeds to be well-organized, or he can never see the whole picture of theproject in the first place and then delegate the tasks properly to his team members.

What’s more ,aneat room means that its owner is patient. Because it is never a piece of caketo keep a room tidy all the time and putting things in order is a huge andcomplicated job. Consider the works of craftsmen. Their works are so elaboratedthat a man without patience can never succeed in that walk of life.

Last but not theleast, most people feel comfortable when they are surrounded by a neatenvironment. As a result, a colleague whose desk is tidy and clean is morelikely to have more people willing to chat with him/her. This may lead toricher interrelationship resources which seem crucial in one’s success.

According to thereasons mentioned above, a neat room clearly suggests that its owner has a greaterchance of success in his/her life, since the qualities shown in the neat roomare extremely precious.

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Students who keep their rooms neat and organized will be more likely to succeedthan students who do not. # ?# q% g0 S6 U: p' Y1 Z$ H

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Students’ rooms are commonly known for their untidiness, though a few students would like to keep their rooms as clean as possible. While some people argue that the statusof the student’s room has nothing to do with his/her future, many others（前面两个词选一个） maintain that those who keep their rooms neat are more likely to succeed. I believe that a clean room shows various qualities which are necessary for success in the future.

A neat room shows that the student is well-organized, which means that he/she knows how to put things in different categories(这个词组不是很对，用in category可不可以？) and he/she can find the thing he/she wants in a second. This could be very helpful in one’s success. A leader of a project needs to be well-organized, or he can never see the whole picture of theproject in the first place and then delegate the tasks properly to his team members（well-organized 和see the whole picture 是不是没有很大的关系，后者是洞察力）.. E7 K  O* G8 F$ W, J

What’s more ,a neat room means that its owner is patient. Because it is never a piece of cake to keep a room tidy all the time and putting things in order is a huge and complicated job. Consider the works of craftsmen. Their works are so elaborated that a man without patience can never succeed in that walk of life（？不理解。。）.
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Last but not theleast, most people feel comfortable when they are surrounded by a neat environment. As a result, a colleague whose desk is tidy and clean is more likely to have more people willing to chat with him/her. This may lead toricher interrelationship resources（不知道可不可以这样说） which seem crucial in one’s success.这个，你和我们组还有个同学的想法一样呢。。弱弱的说一句，这是中式思维，老美不会这样认为的，当然，他们尊重你这样写

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According to the reasons mentioned above, a neat room clearly suggests that its owner has a greater chance of success in his/her life, since the qualities shown in the neat roomare extremely precious.

首先声明，因为笔记本拿去维修了，不能查到好用的字典，有疑问的词组不能弄清楚。蓝色画出
建议开头和结尾讲一下具体三段的内容，太笼统了反而没有意义

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一点小改动