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[i习作temp] issue 108,请帮我改改,我也会回改的 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-7-24 19:37:01 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue 108. "In many countries it is now possible to turn on the television and view government at work. Watching these proceedings can help people understand the issues that affect their lives. The more kinds of government proceedings-trials, debates, meetings, etcthat are televised, the more society will benefit."

在很多国家中,现在通过电视来观看政府的工作已经成为可能。观察这些过程有助于人们了解那些影响他们生活的决策。转播的政府运作(审判、辩论、会议等等)越多,对社会的好处就越多。


The government operation is so obscurity to public that the politicians are questioned by ordinary people. We may wonder that a law, which actually enacted during a long-period, drastic debate between so-called questionable politicians, may be admitted easily for politicians are of same kind. This misunderstanding lies in the scare communication. We do not trust the administrators can really take our hopes into their consideration while those officers are reluctant or ashamed to explain themselves. Both sides of the controversy should back a step to reach an agreement.

Fortunately, technology helps us get a progress in that dilemma. Just as radio means a lot public for the President Roosevelt used to get forgiveness to government and picked American’s faith up. Television, in some countries, can more lively broadcast some attracted political events to public. We may so rapture to know the real scenario of politic and fulfill our supervised duty. In front of millions of eyes, all facts are clearly presented above broad and any little illegal actions will be restricted. We may remember that several senators fight with each other for irreconcilable divergence, and the local officers are severely interrogated by people’s delegate without abusing his/her authority to refuse the ask. Moreover, in the process of watching those items, we may contemplate things in a more legal perspective and exchange our minds with each other that improve our cognitive of things such as law, criminal. There may be more willing for us to comprehend the politicians and officers and their suffering. So many advantages of broadcasting the politic things impulse the ascending appeal that more transparency is needed for a justice government and a stable society. Thus, television stimulates the communication between the public and leaders.

Although People’s expectation is important that no leaders dare to ignore it, we can not be selfish to only concern our minds. Maybe we would enjoy reading news about others, it is extremely doubtful whether we would equally enjoy reading about ourselves. We ought to stand in the side of those who are broadcasted to scan the thing. Most of us are nervous in front of the lens of TV, we are worried about whether our action is decent and our expression is articulated, nor our clothing are tidy. So does the person in the TV. Their unnatural behaviors impede them to concentrate on thing itself while some natural things, sincerely feeling for example, are covered. They fear to express their angry, sadness, or agreement. What we see may just a group of affectation that hinder the very rightly justice.

So, we public should have our own judge criteria. We do need the government open their secret to sunshine; we also should realize that absolutely transparency may exert counterproductive effect to away from our expectation. Just as each coin has two sides, the perspective we standing to look at the question need to be more dialectic but not biased. The government also needs to explain the policy more actively and widely. Through the compromise methods, I think both sides can find their positions in the final solution.
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发表于 2010-7-24 21:22:09 |只看该作者
第一段: may be admitted easily for politicians are of same kind,表述不恰当。改为politicians who hold the same perspective and self-value.其他还行,有自己的风格,但是最后能开门见山地表明自己的立场,agree or not.

第二段:论证也还可以,就是最后能结合下具体的论据就比较好。例如,奥巴马竞选的例子,展开说明一下,不要举得太散而不精。

第三段:Most of us are nervous in front of the lens of TV,用screen会好些。其他的还可以,最好还是能有个具体的例子。

第四段:还是观点啊,自己的立场要鲜明些,同一或否定或有保留的同意。例如:I agree that the government should open their policies and works to the public which would be beneficial to the society ,however,some other adverse effects of that government's opening works should also be taken into cosideration and further be avoided. on balance, only by this way could  the government strive a better method to have the entire society benefit.

还有,注意下语法错误,一些基本的比较多。


我的文章,谢了https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1127211-1-1.html

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RE: issue 108,请帮我改改,我也会回改的 [修改]

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issue 108,请帮我改改,我也会回改的
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