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发表于 2010-7-29 11:31:49
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题目:ISSUE17 - "There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."
字数:553
用时:0:44:00
日期:2010-7-28
In recent years, the topic of whether individual should obey all types of laws is so hot that people varying from personalities as well as backgrounds tends to observe this issue from diversified perspectives. A widely accepted viewpoint claims that it is essential for us to obey just laws and, at the same time, fight with(??与unjust law斗争?)unjust laws. Though I am not pleased with the feeling of being a critic, I would rather stand on the opposite site of this standpoint and reckon that since laws have been legislated, it is our responsibility to obey them without any hesitation. Of course we have the right to challenge some laws what we think are unfair, but they still own the power of law before they are canceled or amended. (这句不太懂,) ( 这个开头可真是一个冗长的开头啊,而且这个开头仅仅回应了题目的后半句,不全面;红色的句子,我觉得都是废话. 我试着按你上面的精简一下: When talking about wether individual should obey all active laws which can be assort into two groups-just and unjust, a widely accepted viewpoint is that it is essential for us to obey just laws and disobey unjust ones. As per my opinion, it is our responsibility to obey laws without any hesitation, and at the same time, we have the right to challenge some laws we think are unfair. 貌似比你的好懂)
First of all, I have to concede that it is a mission impossible to build a law system which is so perfect that each item of it is just for everybody. (OK!我知道这是对的,但是情告诉我和题目相关的:什么是just law和unjust law?或者告诉我为什么会有just law和unjust law?)What can we do is to make our laws benefit most of people in our society. Nevertheless, as laws have been accepted by nearly every country in the world to govern her residents, there must exist something reasonable in this system, for the laws are the relatively fairest symbol in the world. I can not exclude the possibility that our personal benefits are injured by laws one day, however, we are supposed to hold the belief closely that at that time we are the minority in the society, and our sacrifice is a necessity for a larger progress in the world.(这一段,我觉得是跑题的,没有target在题目的意思上,我在你的论述中找不到任何与题目相关的关键词!)
To go further, even if a law has been testified to be an unjust one, do we have the right to disobey and resist it? (如果用问句作为TS的话,我觉得最好还是给一个回答,让读者清楚的知道你的态度)If we really did so, even adopt some rough stuffs, the crime of us would not only be violating laws, but also be trying to attack the foundation of our country, what is much more serious and would result in a heavier punishment. Instead, we had better choose some milder method to express the complaint in our hearts, such as write a letter to the government officials for help, or advise the in a peaceful way parliament to reevaluate the law. At least, no one has the privilege of taking force to antagonize with laws. We have to believe that history and our offsprings will return the deserved reputation to us eventually.(没有例子,显得论证很单薄)
At last, as the system of laws is not wonderful enough to tackle with all the problems happened in contemporary society, some other means is supposed to be accepted to serve as a supplement in order to build our world more comfortable. In fact, most of the tiny troubles between neighbors and couples are not so serious that can not be solved without laws. If we human beings try to be a little bit good-tempered, most of the lawyers may be out of work therefore.
To sum up, if everyone in our society has the right to decide whether or not to obey a type of law all by himself, our world would be suffered from a heavy chaos and catastrophe. What shall we consider more is how to improve our system of laws rather than seek for limitation from laws and try to make use of them, and realize the truth that laws is supposed to be the last resolvent to be considered when we face something troublesome in daily lives.nijiaqin 发表于 2010-7-29 10:20  |
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