argument28 求指导与猛拍

michael890929UID: 2866209

这是小弟在练习了大概10篇左右后写出来的，一共花了27分钟，求各位大大猛拍与指导~

In the memo, the author recommends that schools in Mylar should offer students breakfasts to reduce the absenteeism and improve their academic performance. At first glance, the argument appears somewhat reasonable, but further observation reflects that the article omits several logical flaws that make the recommendation improper and vulnerable.

In my case, the threshold problem is that the author recommend to provide for all students before each school day. However, according to the memo, the evidence to substantiate the conclusion is a survey among ages 5 to 12, obviously, without any further information, it is impertinent to reach the conclusion that the result of the survey represent all the school students. For example, a nutritious breakfast may be significant for children who are at the age between 5-12 for the increasing need for nutrition, while the youth older than 12 may need more exercises instead of nutrition to help them grow. Thus, the author have to provide more information about the students older or younger than children ages 5-12, can the recommendation be meaningful.

Even assuming the survey between 5-12 years old is able to represent situations of all the students, there still exists another defect that weakens the logic of the whole argument. The author assumes that a enough nutrition supply have a causal correlation with a good absenteeism and better performance in school, however, the common sense and the experiences of our own have informed us that the assumption may be incorrect, for there are a myriad of factors and reasons may influent the two, such as the willing of learning, the quality of lessons, etc, all those factors may play a more important role than breakfast. And there's no strong evidence that indicate the more lessons a student misses, the worse he performs in academic grade. To support the view of the author, more details and credible statistics are needed to be provide.

Right before I reach my conclusion, another point that I have to point out is that even if all the assumptions that I mentioned above is credible, the respondents involved in the survey is still dubious for the representativeness. The author cannot provide any evidences to manifest that the respondents are typical enough to represent the situation of the students aged 5-12 in Mylar, maybe the survey is nationwide or just arranges in a relatively small region, if it is the case, the survey would be meaningless in persuading us.

To sum up, the author fails to provide enough information about the conclusion in his argument, and it may lead to a unconvincing recommendation. To substantiate his view, the author should have provided more details and further information about the representativeness of the survey and the correlation between the target group of students and the respondents, only in this way, can the argument and recommendation be more credible and logically acceptable.

hugeseaUID: 190158

这是小弟在练习了大概10篇左右后写出来的，一共花了27分钟，求各位大大猛拍与指导~

In the memo, the author recommends that schools in Mylar should offer students breakfasts to reduce the absenteeism and ...
michael890929 发表于 2010-7-29 10:40

Argument 27是说的啥啊？请附上题目吧

michael890929UID: 2866209

对不起啊，一忙忘记了……
argument 28
"A recent six-month study, in which breakfast was made available at school for 100 schoolchildren ages five to twelve, found that children on the breakfast plan were less likely than other children to be absent from or late for school. Clearly, eating breakfast before school plays a role in reducing student absenteeism and tardiness. It is also well known that children who regularly eat a healthful breakfast tend to perform better in school. Therefore, in order to reduce absenteeism and tardiness and to improve academic performance in all of Mylar's elementary and secondary schools, we should provide breakfasts for all students before each school day."