ISSUE NO.103 【六人行】by CrazyJoO

crazyjooUID: 2805124

TOPIC: ISSUE103 - "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."
WORDS:584 TIME: 00:49:22


Should we only study history which is relevant to our daily lives as the speaker claims? I concede that the benefit of study history which is close to our daily lives is more direct and conspicuous. However, we should not only focus on this part of history since the value of history lies in many aspects.


Admittedly, few would deny that people seem to learn from more history which accords with your daily lives. Over nations and eras, history has been characterized as a mirror from which we can revise our undue behavior and as a book teem with precedent experience. For example, in the field of politics, politicians learn from the precedent politician. From the precedent politician's feat and fiasco, they come to recognize the rule of the politic games. From the enthusiastic speeches of Martin Luther King, they learn the importance of influence. From the Nixon's resignation, they got to know that scandals and cheating would certainly ruin one's politics career no matter how significant achievement he had attained. In this respect, history that is relevant to people's job, experience and daily lives seem to help them more directly and thus more effectively.


However, we should not ignore the value of history lies in some aspects which seem to have nothing to do with our daily lives. For one thing, history serve to give us inspiration. Although the events which are similar to the history would not necessarily happen in our daily lives, we can also learn the valuable character of those who turn a new page of the history. For another thing, most parts of history are comparable to our daily lives. That is to say, they are essentially the same.


Great events in history such as the epic war led by Joan of Arc, the No Violence Resistance incited by Mahatma Gandhi comes immediately to our mind. We can be inspired from these heroes and heroines, even though we are living in a relatively peaceful society has nothing to do with wars and invasion. We are moved and inspired by the tremendous brave of Joan of Arc, a teenager with her consistent belief, who led the French army and finally repulsed the aggressors. We are also impressed by the mercy and firm of Mahatma Gandhi, who underwent an unbelievable hardship and free the whole India. After reading their stories, we would learn that it is a consistent belief and brave heart make up a successful hero. And we will also be encouraged by their brave behavior to overcome tribulations in daily life.


Moreover, to some extent, daily lives and such history are essentially comparable. Ancient wars and today's business war appear to be irrelevant. In fact, many effective business leader learn from the strategy of ancient wars. One example aptly illustrates this point involved < Three Kingdoms>, a famous Chinese novel recording the wars between three kingdoms in ancient China. From the strategies of war, business leaders come to learn how to get a lion's share of market, how to avoid mammoth loss and how to maximize the profit. In fact, many western business leaders consider it as a guidebook, a book which guarantees one’s survival in the sea of business.


To sum up, we should also pay attention to parts of history which seem to be irrelevant to our daily lives. In fact, if we considerate over history more carefully and comprehensively or just examine it in several different angles, we would find that history is full of treasure.

tracyrongyiUID: 2842378

破题的时候 正好看到
三国的例子 不错 我要用拿来主义了
开头和结尾 感觉不是很有新意 中间逻辑还不错 有空帮我拍啊 也不知道是不是放错了地方，我的文没人采

xyjprcUID: 2412778

总地来讲，能在这么短的时间内把这个问题分析得如此透彻已经灰常不容易了~还能想出这么多例子，嗯实在佩服~
结构上有些细节可能会有损你的论证，比如三、四、五段之间的关系，我是一遍看完才明白，又重新看了两遍，但ETS阅卷人应该只会看一遍吧，如果他们没理解你这里用的是什么结构就会觉得很散乱。应该加上一点暗示结构的文字，条理会清晰得多。
我是鸡蛋里挑骨头了，学习了~~~

Should we only study history which is relevant to our daily lives as the speaker claims? I concede that the benefit of study[ing] history which is close to our daily lives is more direct and conspicuous. However, we should not only focus on[should not focus only on] this part of history since the value of history lies in many aspects.


Admittedly, few would deny that people seem to learn from more[more from] history which accords with your daily lives. Over nations and eras, history has been characterized as a mirror from which we can revise our undue behavior and as a book teem with precedent experience. For example, in the field of politics, politicians learn from the precedent politician. From the precedent politician's feat and fiasco, they come to recognize the rule of the politic games. From the enthusiastic speeches of Martin Luther King, they learn the importance of influence. From the Nixon's resignation, they got to know that scandals and cheating would certainly ruin one's politics career no matter how significant achievement he had attained. In this respect, history that is relevant to people's job, experience and daily lives seem to help them more directly and thus more effectively.[此段例子不错，不过分论点不必用比较级吧，也就是说，和人们日常生活相关的历史可以在很大程度上帮助人们，而不必说这些历史可以更好地帮助人们]


However, we should not ignore the value of history lies in some aspects which seem to have nothing to do with our daily lives. For one thing, history serve to give us inspiration. Although the events which are similar to the history would not necessarily happen in our daily lives, we can also[still] learn [+from] the valuable character of those who turn a new page of the history. For another thing, most parts of history are comparable to our daily lives. That is to say, they are essentially the same.[这里我觉得必须加一句话，说明这一段和下面两段构成一个小总分的关系，下面要针对这两点开始举例子了。不然下一段开头没有任何暗示性文字，而下下段开头来个moreover，显得结构不够严谨，虽然这样的结构肯定是可以的。]


Great events in history such as the epic war led by Joan of Arc, the No Violence Resistance incited by Mahatma Gandhi comes immediately to our mind. We can be inspired from these heroes and heroines, even though we are living in a relatively peaceful society has nothing to do with wars and invasion. We are moved and inspired by the tremendous brave of Joan of Arc, a teenager with her consistent belief, who led the French army and finally repulsed the aggressors. We are also impressed by the mercy and firm of Mahatma Gandhi, who underwent an unbelievable hardship and free[d] the whole India. After reading their stories, we would learn that it is a consistent belief and brave heart make up a successful hero. And we will also be encouraged by their brave behavior to overcome tribulations in daily life.[这一段虽好，但有点莫名其妙。就你这一段最后两句的总结看来，似乎学习历史还是和daily life有密切联系的，这和However段中seem to have nothing to do with our daily lives相矛盾了吧？所以应该加工一下，首先把一段例子精简，只保留对你论证有用的部分，然后修改一下最后两句让它们能切题。]


Moreover, to some extent, daily lives and such history are essentially comparable. Ancient wars and today's business war appear to be irrelevant. In fact, many effective business leader learn from the strategy of ancient wars. One example aptly illustrates this point involved < Three Kingdoms>, a famous Chinese novel recording the wars between three kingdoms in ancient China. From the strategies of war, business leaders come to learn how to get a lion's share of market, how to avoid mammoth loss and how to maximize the profit.[这一句的形容词亮了。。。但你更应该注重结合《三国》谈商人怎么利用这些策略的，应该讲讲商战和军事战争怎么具有可比性（毕竟这才是你这一段的重点），不然这里直接转过来对老外来说会比较突兀] In fact, many western business leaders consider it as a guidebook, a book which guarantees one’s survival in the sea of business.


To sum up, we should also pay attention to parts of history which seem to be irrelevant to our daily lives. In fact, if we considerate over history more carefully and comprehensively or just examine it in several different angles, we would find that history is full of treasure.

crazyjooUID: 2805124

3# xyjprc

所言极是！
你说那个总分的一句话我也认为很重要！！不过有什么好建议呢！These two aspects/*** would be further discussed as follows, respectively.
我觉得倒数第三段最后可以加 even we do not have to fight bloody for independence or freedom.

军事策略好难写出来。。思考ing

starfirezhuUID: 2842465

TOPIC: ISSUE103 - "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."
WORDS:584 TIME: 00:49:22

Key words: history, value, daily lives; only!  注意，ISSUE的问题中心落在only这个词上！用only表达观点时背后隐含了武断、幼稚和偏见。这就是你要攻击的缺口！！

Should we only study history which is relevant to our daily lives as the speaker claims? I concede that the benefit of studying history which is close to our daily lives is more direct and conspicuous. However, we should not only focus on this part of history since the value of history lies in many aspects. => Though I admit that to study history close to our daily lives is very important, we should not focus only on this portion of history since the value of history study is to be contained in many other aspects. 用Though..., Even though... 或 Although...起头的句式，表达这种让步同意的立场非常合适，显得很有教养。。。

Position: history study, either relevent or irrelevent to daily lives, both of them are all important and have distinct meaning and values irrespectively. 针对偏见，确定一个更高境界，视角全面的公正立场！

Admittedly, few would deny that people seem to learn from more from history which accords with relevent to your their daily lives. Over nations and eras, history has been characterized as a mirror from which we can revise our undue behavior and as a book teeming with precedent experience. For example, in the field of politics, politicians learn from the precedent politician. From the precedent politician's feat and fiasco, they come to recognize the rule of the politic games. From the enthusiastic speeches of Martin Luther King, they learn the importance of influence. From the Nixon's resignation, they got to know that scandals and cheating would certainly ruin one's politics career no matter how significant achievement he they had attained. In this respect, history that is relevant to people's job, experience and daily lives seem to help them more directly and thus more effectively.
既然讲daily lives，就要讲与daily lives相关的历史研究是如何体现出价值的！！上一段讲的是历史知识对于人们工作和生活的指导借鉴和裨益之处。但是有些偏题。切中主题的话，此段应该讲：the history study relevent to daily lives is meaningful and valuable to people. 还是可以利用上面的素材，但是论述的角度稍有不用。比如，可以说研究历史人物的有人们日常生活（！）有关的行为，使我们可以借鉴经验教训，更有效地对付生活中的一些困难问题；研究历史中涉及人们日常生活（！）的重大事件，可以让政府学习处理此类事件的对策和有效措施。（举例：水门事件；大萧条时期；第二次世界大战；等等。）

However, we should not ignore the value of history study which lies in some aspects which and seems to have nothing to do with our daily lives. For one thing, history serve to give us inspiration. Although the events which are similar to the history would not necessarily happen in our daily lives, we can also learn the valuable character of those who turn a new page of the history. For another thing, most parts of history are comparable to our daily lives. That is to say, they are essentially the same.
这一段的后面两句显然是离题了。前面一段讲了与daily lives相关的历史研究的价值所在；这一段自然就要讲与daily lives不直接相关的历史研究的价值在哪里。明确指出，与daily lives不直接相关的历史研究占了历史研究的很大一部分；这部分历史研究却会在更深的层次上间接地影响我们的daily lives。哪些历史研究与daily lives不直接相关呢？想想看！譬如：古代社会制度；哲学史；宗教史。等等。


Great events in history such as the epic war led by Joan of Arc, the No Violence Resistance incited by Mahatma Gandhi comes immediately to our mind. We can be inspired from these heroes and heroines, even though we are living in a relatively peaceful society has nothing to do with wars and invasion persecution. We are moved and inspired by the tremendous bravery of Joan of Arc, a teenager with her consistent belief, who led the French army and finally repulsed the aggressors. We are also impressed by the mercy and firm of Mahatma Gandhi, who underwent an unbelievable hardship and free the whole India. After reading their stories, we would learn that it is a consistent belief and brave heart make up a successful hero. And we will also be encouraged by their brave behavior to overcome tribulations in daily life.


Moreover, to some extent, daily lives and such history are essentially comparable. Ancient wars and today's business war appear to be irrelevant. In fact, many effective business leader learn from the strategy of ancient wars. One example aptly illustrates this point involved < Three Kingdoms>, a famous Chinese novel recording the wars between three kingdoms in ancient China. From the strategies of war, business leaders come to learn how to get a lion's share of market, how to avoid mammoth loss and how to maximize the profit. In fact, many western business leaders consider it as a guidebook, a book which guarantees one’s survival in the sea of business.
上面的文字还不错，但是要注意围绕中心思想来写！

To sum up, though we all can sense the value of history study when it is relevent to our dailiy lives, we should also pay attention to parts of history which seem to be irrelevant to our daily lives. In fact, if we considerate over history more carefully and comprehensively or just examine it in from several different angles, we would find out that history is full of treasure.
这个结尾不够有深度，也没有很好地突出自己的观点。相对第一段的比较含蓄导言，这一段应该更加明确有力地亮出自己的见解！