我要认真写作业

venusmiyaUID: 2777518

8月5日
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.3 I-
Bacon states his idea on study that"study serves for delight, for ornament and for ability." It is universaly acknowledged that study is nor merely a process of learning, but a mean to cultivate and enlight. In this sense, every course has its value, and the art and music, which are always ignored in the education system, ought to have the same importance with the others such as math or history.

If we say that to study on science enlights people's mind, the art delights individual's heart. By enjoying the beauties in a piece of music or appreciating the spirit of a painting, it is possible to anyone to be touched more or less. Allan Bloom once claims that the Greek sculptures lead to a beautiful society. Those heroic figures exhibit the enormous nobility, they attract and affect the young by their continuous providing of the sense of pureness and virtue. This may sounds exaggerating but it is undeniable that the arts shows people the beauty of the world and teaches people to tell right from evil.

Beside has its tremendous value, the art and music can also benifits the other subjects in various ways. They broaden the horrizons of men and always bring new aspects of thinking. Many great minds has made use of music or a certain kind of art and then get great achievements. Albert Einstain has benifited from violen in his career and further benifited the world by his brilliant mind. He has conceded that violen is so thought-provoking to him that many of his initial ideas are originally comes from playing it randomly. This kind of examples are not rare, Da Vinci and Thomas Jefferson are also belong to this group. i admitted that these great person can be success even without the assistance of music or art, but this shared charactor of them do prove the importance of the art in other fields.

To sum up, none subject can be called worthless, especially to the younger children who remain unware of the world in general. From experiencing the fantastic music and art, they can learn the very beautis in the world and the basic priciples of making judgement. Morover, according to the examples of great minds above, I can generalized that the further they can be cultivated with the art, the larger advantages they may get in the lifetime.

venusmiyaUID: 2777518

初次参加线上活动，求猛批

hove1111UID: 2571450

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.
Bacon states his idea on study that" study serves for delight, for ornament and for ability." It is universally acknowledged that study is not merely a process of learning, but a mean to cultivate and enlighten. In this sense, every course has its value, and the art and music, which are always ignored in the education system, ought to have the same importance with the others such as math or history.

If we say that to study on science enlightens people's mind, the art delights individual's heart. By enjoying the beauties in a piece of music or appreciating the spirit of a painting, it is possible to anyone to be touched more or less. Allan Bloom once claims that the Greek sculptures lead to a beautiful society. Those heroic figures exhibit the enormous nobility, they attract and affect the young by their continuous providing of the sense of pureness and virtue. This may sound exaggerating but it is undeniable that the arts shows people the beauty of the world and teaches people to tell right from evil.)

Beside has its tremendous value, the art and music can also benefits the other subjects in various ways. They broaden the horizons of men and always bring new aspects of thinking. Many great minds have made use of music or a certain kind of art and then get great achievements. Albert Einstein has benefited from violin in his career and further benefited the world by his brilliant mind. He has conceded that violin is so thought-provoking to him that many of his initial ideas are originally comes from playing it randomly. This kind of examples are not rare, Da Vinci and Thomas Jefferson are also belong to this group. I admitted that these great people can be success even without the assistance of music or art, but this shared character does prove the importance of the art in other fields.

To sum up, none subject can be called worthless, especially to the younger children who remain unaware of the world in general. From experiencing the fantastic music and art, they can learn the very beauties in the world and the basic principles of making judgments. Moreover, according to the examples of great minds above, I can generalize that the further they can be cultivated with the art, the larger advantages they may get in the lifetime.

hove1111UID: 2571450

绿色是我改过了的写错的词儿，下次注意啊，写完检查下

flyingkelseyUID: 2729103

哈哈，总的来说 很好 很强大
我只是看看 能看出来的拼写问题 就改出来 看不出来的拿word 纠啊
文章已经发到你邮箱了    呼呼

venusmiyaUID: 2777518

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.

it is not rare today to the college students take part-time job while they are studying in the universities. I regard this as a good phenomenon, for the students and the companies can both benefits from it.

On one hand, students can get working experiences which cannot be got simply from the textbooks. It has been acknowledged that the job-hunting has been much more difficult than the past. As a fresh man who steps into one's career in the first time, one will surely be more competitive with even a little experience in the working place. Moreover, it is also a good chance for those students who need money. As far as I concerned, since the college education is not obliged by the government, it is hard for some families to afford the fees of the college education. The part-time jobs for the college students are actually providing a new source of incomes. In another word, it prevents a portion of college students from losing the chance of education.

On the other hand, the companies get another work source by providing the part-time job to the students. Some works, sending newspapers or doing the calling-back surveys for instance, do not need a lot of special techniques or have particular knowledge limitations. The payment will be lower than hiring a formal employee if the companies can leave this kind of jobs to the students. In addition, companies can make use of the internships or the part-time working to discover talents. After their graduates, many colleges elites finally join the companies in which the once taking part-time jobs. No wonder that nowadays many companies with long sights are eager to offer internships to the students in the universities.

In conclusion, the part-time job college students take in their spare time is generally a good phenomenon. It should be encouraged for the well-development of both the students and the companies.

venusmiyaUID: 2777518

谢谢咯~还请多多批评 5# flyingkelsey

even0828UID: 2311168

it is not rare today for (the删掉) college students to take part-time job while they are studying in the universities. I regard this as a good phenomenon, for the students and the companies can both benefits from it.

" s! l' g# u4 ]
On one hand, students can get working experiences which cannot be gotten simply from the textbooks. It has been acknowledged that（学习了）
（the删） job-hunting nowadays has been much more difficult than in the past. As a fresh man who steps into one's career in the first time, one will surely be more competitive with even a little experience in the working place. Moreover, it is also a good chance for those students who need money. As far as I am concerned, since the college education is not obliged(这里不大对，是grateful的意思，就写成free就好) by the government, it is hard for some families to afford the fees of the college education. The part-time jobs for the college students are actually providing a new source of incomes. In another word, it prevents a portion of college students from losing the chance of study.4 y: T6 u1 d0 L& ]8 l8 p' l

On the other hand, the companies get another work source by providing the part-time jobs to the students. Some works, sending newspapers or doing the calling-back surveys for instance, do not need a lot of special techniques or have particular knowledge limitations. The payment will be lower than hiring a formal employee if the companies can leave this kind of jobs to the students. In addition, companies can make use of the internships or the part-time working to discover talents. After their graduation, many colleges elites could finally join the companies in which the once taking part-time jobs. No wonder that nowadays many companies with long sights are eager to offer internships to the students in the universities. (个人觉得这段有点偏题，题目指的是学生应不应该，主体是学生，所以应该是从学生的角度出发的)
0 o9 I8 `% o+ N: [
In conclusion, the part-time jobs college students take in their spare time is generally a good phenomenon.（taking part-time job才是phenomenon，
而job是不能作为现象的） It should be encouraged for the well-development （a better development）of both the students and the companies.

venusmiyaUID: 2777518

谢谢修改 8# even0828

littlekuoUID: 2860535

对不起啊，没有来得及看你的作文，我这几天有点忙，所以都没有上网，今天才看到你的留言，实在是不好意思。

venusmiyaUID: 2777518

8月10日 作业

The globalization brings plenty movies and TV programs with a flavor of freshness from abroad. Those programs attract so many people because they can provides more entertainments than the ones made indoor. In my opinion, they are warmly welcomed by natives for their alien perspectives and tastes.

When Teresa Teng's music blows to the Mainland China, it dramatically spread among public and became famous overnight. The glamour of a quite different style conquered all mighty songs existed at that time, and it remains a remarkable influence during the past half of a century. The same immediate fame might come to any plays or drama for their strange angle of interpreting the world, and their different way of telling a story. This kind of refreshing can not only meet the public demand for entertainment, but also irresistibly draw people’s attention by arising their curiosity.

Moreover, the story told by a foreign movie is a huge attraction itself. The two very hot movies--Gone with the Wind and Titanic, for instance, each tells story under the background of American Liberal War and the accident of the large wheel. Beyond the touching love stories they've given, the background of these movies are thought-provoking and rather fresh to most of Chinese. The foreign movies or programs, therefore, are like big meals with extra unique seasonings which can only tasted occasionally, no wonder that they could always seize the attention from the old to the young.

Last but not the least, since there are the differences on culture, language and many other aspects, the foreign TVs or movies can be a channel of communication, or even education. As far as I concern, at present China is planning to product a short film to give much general and objective images to the public, especially aim at the international society. This kind of case is not rare in the past, and they do have functioned as both a positive propaganda and a way of introduction.

To sum up, though the native TV programs and movies may be closer to current life, they can never match the foreign products which fulfill the curiosity--the nature of human beings--in various ways.

fannie227UID: 2732547

The globalization brings plenty of movies and TV programs with a flavor of freshness from abroad. Those programs attract so many people because they can provides more entertainments than the ones made indoor (indoor我查了下似乎只有户内的意思，home有表示国内的意思). In my opinion, they are warmly welcomed by natives for their alien perspectives and tastes.! W0 z! P8 |2 m) q" L) d

When Teresa Teng's music blows to the Mainland China, it dramatically spread among public and became famous overnight. The glamour of a quite different style conquered all mighty (mighty有一种很强有力强大的感觉，不知道形容歌恰不恰当，还是建议改个词) songs existed at that time, and it remains a remarkable influence during the past half of a (of a 可以去掉) century. The same immediate fame might come to any plays or drama for their strange angle of interpreting the world, and their different way of telling a story. This kind of refreshing （refreshing是形容词，名词可以用refresher） can not only meet the public demand for entertainment, but also irresistibly draw people’s attention by arising their curiosity
这段开头写外国歌的影响，感觉更偏重于艺术类，没有突出电影和电视节目，或者可以把歌引申为mtv之类的可以扯上点关系；最后一句话用irresistibly感觉太绝对了，不是所有人都对外国娱乐节目感兴趣的.
3 q) }3 d, g/ N! ?
Moreover, the story told by a foreign movie is a huge attraction itself. The two very hot movies--Gone with the Wind and Titanic, for instance, each tells a story under the background of American Liberal War and the accident of the large wheel (楼主是想说游轮吧，可以用cruise). Beyond the touching love stories they've given, the background of these movies are thought-provoking and rather fresh to most of Chinese. The foreign movies or programs, therefore, are like big meals with extra unique seasonings which can only tasted occasionally, no wonder that they could always seize the attention from the old to the young
这段写得很好.% c# |! ^; O4 B7 I
& k9 w6 R& D( w' U& T. E6 R
Last but not the least, since there are the differences on culture, language and many other aspects, the foreign TVs or movies can be a channel of communication, or even education. As far as I concern (I am concerned), at present(去掉，或者换到后面去) China is planning to product a short film to give much general and objective images to the public, especially aim at the international society. This kind of case is not rare in the past, and they do have functioned as both a positive propaganda and a way of introduction.

To sum up, though the native TV programs and movies may be closer to current life, they can never match the foreign products which fulfill the curiosity--the nature of human beings--in various ways.

总体上写得不错，总分观点清晰，就是第一段的论证存在一点小问题。其他都很不错
红色是我认为可以修改的地方，蓝色是我觉得写得好的地方,改得不对的地方请见谅

venusmiyaUID: 2777518

七七改得真好，又很认真。
学到了很多。
真是太谢谢啦 12# fannie227

fannie227UID: 2732547

13# venusmiya

HOHO改作文的过程就是互相进步的过程~
我看了你帮我改的，你的理解很正确啊，我当时就是这么想的。想先说有趣不有趣不是地点决定的，还有别的因素；然后就算这些因素都具备了，也不一定能吸引所有人，因为个人爱好不同；最后再说自己的。。
是不是这样的思路不适合托福作文呢，最好先说自己的然后再说为什么？

肖婷~UID: 2740510

抱歉，回复得有些晚了……
已经改好了，具体见附件~~