ISSUE 235 离考10天，第一次模考，请指教

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TOPIC: ISSUE235 - "Most people are taught that loyalty is a virtue. But loyalty-whether to one's friends, to one's school or place of employment, or to any institution-is all too often a destructive rather than a positive force."
WORDS: 590          TIME: 00:40:44          DATE: 2010-8-7 11:38:43
Loyalty, long considered as virtue by most people, is regarded as a destructive force to one's friends, companies, and countries by the speaker.  Simply put, loyalty is a positive or negative force is not convincing.  From my perspective, whether loyalty contributes depends actually on its objects and extent.
If loyalty's objects and extent is under well controllment, it is no doubt that it benefits one's friends, companies and countries.  Inter-trust is the base of human communication and connection.  Loyalty, in my view, is a long-persistant trust, what is quite crutial in maintaining the close relationship between friends.  For instance, it is quite natural for friends to borrow money from each other.  Continous demand of retuning the lend money back  will certainly weaken the friendship.  This deed is actually an act of untrust and de-loyalty.  Besides, loyalty usually triggers a high work effiency, as it might give people a master-feel sense.  In Japanese companies, they usually requires a high loyalty, and in return, they do not fire any employers.  This system, as the designers plan, give a master-sense to each employer.  Whateven they do, they do not feel that they are paid and forced to do, but rather constructing their own "house".  Therefore, the loyalty leads to a high working efficiency in this case.  Last but not least, nation requires the highest loyalty.  It is nothing but the loyalty that bring the citizens together as a whole, thought this might not be discovered in peaceful time.  In wars, the officials tempted to trigger the highest loyalty of their citizens to their nations, as it is actually the final wall to protect  the soverignment.   Loyalty gives birth to belief, a belief to win the battle, and then the action.   So, it is obvious that proper loyalty do good to one's friends, companies, and countries.
However, it is an art to choose the subjects of one's loyalty.   If one chose the demon to pay one's loyalty, one will certainly become a demon himself.  Besides, we should also notice that many objects of loyalty exist in one's mind at the sametime.  So, the order of it is also important when the objects of loyalty conflicted with  each other.  Take a story in the World War II for example,  a German Amry official planned to murder Hilter by setting a bomb in the meeting room. Unfortunately, the action was failed, and the official was killed by Hilter.   But his name along with his brave deed was recorded and remembered by every people longing for peace.   He is a German Amry official, so his behaviour actually detrayed his countries.  However, he gave his loyalty to even more higher object:  the humanity, the whole world.   That is the order of loyalty counts.  If the official persisted his loyalty to Hilter, he would certainly be another "humanity demon."
Besides, the extent of loyalty requires high attention as well.  Even the object is correct, an over-extent will lead to serious problems.  Overextent loyalty usually binds our eyes from discovering the shortings and problems from our friends, companies, and countries.  Therefore, it will reduce the beneficial side of loyalty to these objects which mentioned in the second paraphagh.
In sum,  well-controlled loyalty will give birth to a stable friendship, a high-efficient running company, and a more united country.  However,  a object-false or overextent loyalty is doomed to invite a serious of problems.  Last but not least,  when one faced with the situation that some loyalties are conflied with each other, it is crutial for him to carefully consider the order.

用词较为单一，语法错误还没有修改。由于备考时间较短，没有准备提纲，请各位看看结构布局上这样可以否？
多谢。

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要别人给你改作文，你首先就得把作文改到自己满意为止。
如果要改结构，建议自己抽象出提纲
如果要改全文，自己先把基本错误改掉。
请把自己的最好水平的作文放上来，对自己负责也对别人负责。

嗯。加油~

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谢谢版主的建议。
：） 因为复习时间短暂的关系，所以试了一篇完全没有准备的文章，想看自己能不能在规定时间里没有提纲的情况下完成。的确有不少错误。一会儿再重新整理思绪。

方才，重新写了一篇，如果有时间希望您能提意见。
ISSUE 1: We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own; disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning.

提纲：
立场：反对

开头：提炼问题——作者观点——反对——理由：1）不同角度的观点对知识是一种完整和丰富的过程 2）学习的不只是知识，还有争论和说服的技巧和心理上的成熟

第二段：不同角度的观点对知识是一种完整和丰富的过程
分析事物具有的两面性——同样观点不利于对事物认识的全面——相反观点有利于事物全面——事实上，科学正是通过不同观点间的争论而进步，举哲学观点发展的例子——总结

第三段：不同角度的观点可以让我们学到更多
争论的技能——说服的技能，演讲者的要领为例——心理素质的培养：1）允许其他观点的存在 2）控制自己的情绪——相同观点会引起奉承，像井底之蛙——总结

第四段：简单驳题目中的后一句话。结合第二和第三段。

结尾：有相同观点的好处有鼓励等，但不同观点可以完整知识，培养我们争辩，说服和控制自己情绪的技能。所以，从不同观点处学的更多。

Who can we learn more from, those opponents or supporters? The persons whose ideas are in accord with ours, as the speaker claims.  I disagree with this statement, as contradictive opinions can give birth to a more thorough and comprehensive understanding of the issue. Furthermore, through the discourse and debate with our opponents, we start to learn the necessary skills of persuading and debating.  Also, we get matured along this process.

Just like every coin has two different sides, almost all the things on the earth are too complex to be explained from one side.  Those who share the same idea as ours can only ice on the cake.  No matter how much we learn from supporters , what we do is just let a one-branch-rooted tree grow higher.  However, this tree can be easily pushed down by force.  On the contrary, the persons whose ideas are opposed to ours can inspire us to look into the other side of the issue, and therefore lead to a complete picture of it.  Actually, the development of science is based on doubts, rather than simply accepts the existing theories or experiment results.  For supporting example, we might retrospect the advancement of philosophy mentioned in the book “Susan’s World.”  Usually, one concept appeared, and later came the opposite one. Then, a new opinion, swallowing both the ideas before, shaped. It is obvious the third concept is more complicated and closer to the fact as well.  But as the time went on, the fourth idea opposed to the third one will appear, and later came a fifth united  one.  Through this process,  the concept concerning is developing.  Therefore, contradictive opinions serve to complete the issue.

Besides, we may also learn the skills of persuading and debating from our opponents.  “Selling ideas is a kind of art.” This claim is true especially when the listeners hold the opinions contradictive to ours. As the saying goes, “Practice makes perfect.” Only though face to face debate with our opponents can we learned this kind of communication skills.  What’s more, we are getting matured though this kind of dialogue: Being patient to listen to other’s opinions, tolerant to accept the different voices, and skillful to control our temper.  Contrarily, the supporters can give us nothing but the sense of success.  It is easy for us to become “frogs under the well” under such flatters.  In sum, discussions with the people whose views contradict our own offer us excellent chances to improve our communication skills besides the knowledge enrichment.

Admittedly, undue disagreement can cause stress and impede our learning to some extent.  The key to reduce this side effect is to get more frequent contact with our opponents, and then we will get used to the depression it might bring.  Therefore, we can enjoy the discussion and find the flaws and weakness in our own opinions.

Supporters give us courage and confidence, which is important when we are green hand in a new field.  However, both the personal growth and science development are a torturing journey.  The courage alone cannot bring us to the bank of success.  Contradictive opinions can help us get a complete picture of the issue we concerned, and the heart as well.  Therefore, we can learn more from the people whose views contradict our own than those who hold the same to us.

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