issue50 有关于 起&合 issue5,5

tracyrongyiUID: 2842378

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
红色部分是给我自己看的 单词拼写有问题的
Education circle has taken various means to improve the quality of instruction, but is that useful? Concerning faculties' spending time outside the academic circle, it can enhance teaching performance in some degree. However, when intending to cover all the fields, precedence should be given to the voice of teachers and students, who constitute the main ontology in education.

First, there is no denying that practice outside the campus, a great complement to academic study, is beneficial for both faculties and students. A proverbial phenomenon nowadays is that some faculties emphasize too much on theoretic research, which is totally dislocated with society. And students are crowned with genius in theory, idiot in practice. By working and learning from outside, they can enrich their mind with cutting-edge technology, and consequently, get acquaintance with social needs and changes in their fields. Therefore, they can flexibly change syllabus and teaching methods according to the first-hand experience.

However, not every faculty should and can afford to spend time in non-academic field. It should clarify its target when putting into practice. On the one hand, not all subjects closely link to applications widely used or recognized. For instance, subjects like quantum mechanics, spacial physics where seldom people are conversant with and have virtuosity in, where do teachers in these fields to practice outside the lab and find a "boss". On the other hand, if one luckily come across such a job, say, the commercial use of quantum mechanics, is it worth to spend a large amount of time of professors examining the comings and goings of a business, and learning every terminology and equation from scratch. May be this time a breathtaking theory has been verified if he or she lucubrate in the lab.

Further, the quality of instruction cannot avoid being affected when all faculties devoted in non-academic field. Dabbling into a different circle, although in the related fields, is not a piece of cake for everyone, including teachers. A good teacher at school may not be a good work in the factory. They have to adapt to a new environment, learning practical skills from start and communication with new colleges, all are time-consuming. What’s more, everyone's energy and buoyancy are limited, if too much attention fixed on working outside, consequently, time for teaching, interaction with students will diminish. Insufficient concentration on students cannot guarantee education quality.

Working outside can pose big challenge to faculties and schools, too. As we cannot preclude a fact that some excellent faculties may be poached by headhunters, since most people are crème de la crème concerning their firm grounding in academic knowledge and years of teaching experience. And it is probable for people to choose another boss because of attractive salary, especially for those consider teaching just as a profession not as a lifelong cause. And this talent drainage is detrimental to both students and schools.

Squaring up advantages and disadvantages mentioned above, schools need to institutionalize some provisions to maximize boons and minimize bales. First, it's advisable for school leaders to conduct an inquiry across the campus, finding out the specific number of students and teachers, who have such a demand to connect to practical world. Remember, students are fundamental in education whose benefits should prioritize. Second, giving faculties one semester in an academic year who has real needs to experience the profession related, but they should sign a contract in advance, stating they would come back to school when time is due. Third, if conditions permitted, it is conducive for universities cooperating with some local companies to establish regular training and internship. That's really one stone killing three birds which caters for the needs of faculties and solve school's misgivings about talent drainage. And what's more, students are easily to find internship and job after graduation.

Although devoting time in the practical field may facilitate teaching, it has limitations and is doubtful when applied to all fields. And instructing qualities cannot be improved only by gaining experience outside, instead, it is determined by teacher’s major, capacity and commitment to education course, and the center of gravity——students.

心得：三段搞出来了 起&合 不知道怎么写 不想用模板，但是又不知道该如何开头。结尾的合难道只是重复，提出新的意见又不可能花大量的时间论证，那该怎么办。
整篇文章觉得很多词都在重复。考虑到 consider 只想到这个 还有 在外面工作该怎么表达，因为他不仅仅限于工作，总不能说in the non-academic field ，老说也很腻。
还有红宝书里那个埋头苦干怎么说我怎么想不起来了]
Faculty 定义是什么 可以和teacher professor 换着用吗 总不能通篇都是faculty 啊
我知道自己没有例子 今天看issue5,5 说不一定要引经据典也不一定要有例子 把要表达的表达清楚就好了 我感觉自己表达得比较清楚 只是还是觉得有例子支撑比较好
没想到该把例子放在哪 以及找些什么样的例子
始终觉得为了放例子而写列子不是件舒服的事

forkidUID: 2845790

Education circle has taken various means to improve the quality of instruction, but is that useful? Concerning faculties' spending time outside the academic circle, it can enhance teaching performance in some degree. However, when intending to cover all the fields, precedence should be given to the voice of teachers and students, who constitute the main ontology in education.
【开头提到了全文的思路为：从说academic tools to improve the qualify education；到non academic tools (practice..) 到 It depends on teachers’ and students’ opinion.】

First, there is no denying that practice outside the campus, a great complement to academic study, is beneficial for both faculties and students. 【先说了第二点】A proverbial phenomenon nowadays is that some faculties emphasize too much on theoretic research, which is totally dislocated with society. And students are crowned with genius in theory, idiot in practice. By working and learning from outside, they can enrich their mind with cutting-edge technology, and consequently, get acquaintance with social needs and changes in their fields. Therefore, they can flexibly change syllabus and teaching methods according to the first-hand experience.
However, not every faculty should and can afford to spend time in non-academic field. It should clarify its target when putting into practice. On the one hand, not all subjects closely link to applications widely used or recognized. For instance, subjects like quantum mechanics, spacial physics where seldom people are conversant with and have virtuosity in, where do teachers in these fields to practice outside the lab and find a "boss". On the other hand, if one luckily come across such a job, say, the commercial use of quantum mechanics, is it worth to spend a large amount of time of professors examining the comings and goings of a business, and learning every terminology and equation from scratch. May be this time a breathtaking theory has been verified if he or she lucubrate in the lab. 【对第二段的让步，很好的表述，不过在开头并没有体现你要写这段哦】
Further, the quality of instruction cannot avoid being affected when all faculties devoted in non-academic field. Dabbling into a different circle, although in the related fields, is not a piece of cake for everyone, including teachers. A good teacher at school may not be a good work in the factory. They have to adapt to a new environment, learning practical skills from start and communication with new colleges, all are time-consuming. What’s more, everyone's energy and buoyancy are limited, if too much attention fixed on working outside, consequently, time for teaching, interaction with students will diminish. Insufficient concentration on students cannot guarantee education quality. 【说到外出实践的弊端，但是further用在此处是不是欠妥？因为上一段是对该问题的限制，即不是所有学科适合外出实践，而此段谈的是弊端，是另一个角度的说明，你觉得呢？】
Working outside can pose big challenge to faculties and schools, too. As we cannot preclude a fact that some excellent faculties may be poached by headhunters, since most people are crème de la crème concerning their firm grounding in academic knowledge and years of teaching experience. And it is probable for people to choose another boss because of attractive salary, especially for those consider teaching just as a profession not as a lifelong cause. And this talent drainage is detrimental to both students and schools. 【另一个弊端，不错！】
Squaring up advantages and disadvantages mentioned above, schools need to institutionalize some provisions to maximize boons and minimize bales. First, it's advisable for school leaders to conduct an inquiry across the campus, finding out the specific number of students and teachers, who have such a demand to connect to practical world. Remember, students are fundamental in education whose benefits should prioritize. Second, giving faculties one semester in an academic year who has real needs to experience the profession related, but they should sign a contract in advance, stating they would come back to school when time is due. Third, if conditions permitted, it is conducive for universities cooperating with some local companies to establish regular training and internship. That's really one stone killing three birds which caters for the needs of faculties and solve school's misgivings about talent drainage. And what's more, students are easily to find internship and job after graduation. 【提了很多的建议，想法很好，但我不确定这样的段落是不是应该被鼓励，感觉GRE作文不应该写should而应该写facts】

Although devoting time in the practical field may facilitate teaching, it has limitations and is doubtful when applied to all fields. And instructing qualities cannot be improved only by gaining experience outside, instead, it is determined by teacher’s major, capacity and commitment to education course, and the center of gravity——students.【结尾总结了全文内容，很好，但感觉话没有说完，啊哈哈，个人感觉了。。。】

【文章的用词可以看出作者的功底，虽然没有什么例子，但是还是很有说服力的，开头写得有些问题，提到的内容后文没有呼应，不过还是好文，学习了！】

Faculty actually contains the teaching and administrative force of a college or university.
However, I agree with you that in this topic: The faculty can be replaced with teachers and professionals.

tracyrongyiUID: 2842378

谢谢 楼上
改的很详细 further却使用的有问题，当时感觉只是希望进一步说明statement的问题，现在看来确实段内意思上有问题。
关于给学校建议的那一段 我自己也是confused 所以才拿上来给大家讨论，可能有点不同吧
至于每一段的内容，是否都应该在首或尾概括一下，嗯 我觉得也有必要，写的时候总觉得不能顾全。
现在很纠结，快考了 但还是没什么感觉， 没有自己的模板 练得篇数也不够多 背的东西还不到位 A还没有正式开始写
以前写的东西给老外看 人家说很wierd 想定计划 自己又不断地frisky
时间一天天的过 真的好害怕。。。 2# forkid