joanna的作文本 (*^__^*)

一个人的捉迷藏UID: 2874191

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities
There are increasing number of students taking part-time jobs while they are studying in universities. They make money by the jobs as well as getting experience. So I don’t agree with the statement that students should not take part-time jobs.

Most of us go to universities when we are at the age of 18 or 19. We are not longer teenagers any more and we become adults, which means that we need to be independent. And taking part-time jobs is one of the opportunities for us to be independent. When we go to the interview and finally get the job, we have these things done all by ourselves. With the job, we have an access to the society.

Getting various experience is my second reason to get part-time jobs. No matter what jobs we get, such as a waiter in Mcdonalds or a check in a supermarket, we get our own way to contact the society. No one can deny the fact that most students in universities focus their mind mainly on books or having fun. So part-time jobs provide us with chances to the real life in society besides learning fixed knowledge on books in ivory tower.
We need to contact with different people when we are working, in this way we learn how to communicate well. We can also learn cooperation, persistence and so on, which we can’t get from our text books. All these will qualify us more to adapt to the society in the future.

Further more, the great benefit of getting part-time jobs is that it can release
financial stress of the whole family. We can use the money for part of our tuitions or for daily necessities. To some degree, it can reduce the family’s economic burden indeed. At the same time, we can enjoy parents’ praise.

However, someone still argue that part-time jobs cut the time for studying. It is a truth that it takes up lots of time to have a well-paid part-time job. But a survey suggested the statistics that around 80 percent of students who have part-time jobs can balance their work and study, while only 20 percent can't manage their time well. As a result, I think taking part-time jobs is a efficient way for us to learn time management.

All in all, the advantages of taking a part-time job obviously outweigh the disadvantages, so let part-time jobs be one part of the university life.



好久没写作文了，整个大一都没写多少，第一次写的完整的一篇toefl作文，感觉还是摆脱不了高中影响，我觉得我用了好多we, our之类的词，大家尽管提意见吧

serena-blueUID: 2811284

文章没有大的问题，在语句上如果能稍微减少一下短句，增加一点长句就更好了。加油哦！
There are increasing number(is an increasing number) of students taking part-time jobs while they are studying in universities. They make money by the jobs as well as getting experience. So I don’t agree with the statement that students should not take part-time jobs.

t/ R8 L  Q% E' [
Most of us go to universities when we are at the age of 18 or 19. We are not longer(longer删除） teenagers any more and we become adults, which means that we need to be independent. And taking part-time jobs is one of the opportunities for us to be independent. When we go to the interview and finally get the job, we have these things done all by ourselves. With the job, we have an access to the society.: ^& O& E' F3 k) c: P1 L
4 m4 S8 O1 k& `" ^" A: z& ~$ J
Getting various experience is my second reason to get part-time jobs. No matter what jobs we get, such as a waiter in Mcdonalds or a check in a supermarket, we get our own way to contact（with） the society. No one can deny the fact that most students in universities focus their mind mainly on books or having fun. So part-time jobs provide us with chances to the real life in society besides learning fixed knowledge on books in ivory tower.6 ~* D/ Q& l8 l% m# K: v5 d
We need to contact with different people when we are working, in this way we learn how to communicate well. We can also learn cooperation, persistence and so on, which we can’t get from our text books. All these will qualify us more to adapt to the society in the future.2 c  ]' |- m8 m8 G
2 V8 i+ P1 w3 L8 b
Further more, the great benefit of getting part-time jobs is that it can release* t7 f+ _0 }2 o# t4 D
financial stress of the whole family. We can use the money for part of our tuitions or for daily necessities. To some degree, it can reduce the family’s economic burden indeed. At the same time, we can enjoy parents’ praise. 0 K& a" o' }0 Q

However, someone still argue that part-time jobs cut the time for studying. It is a truth that it takes up lots of time to have a well-paid part-time job. But a survey suggested the statistics that around 80 percent of students who have part-time jobs can balance their work and study, while only 20 percent can't manage their time well. As a result, I think taking part-time jobs is a（an) efficient way for us to learn time management. * a9 g: ^5 |/ y" e. D/ y6 G

All in all, the advantages of taking a part-time job obviously outweigh the disadvantages, so let part-time jobs be one (a)part of the university life.!

一个人的捉迷藏UID: 2874191

2009.9.11 agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life..

When it comes to the controversial issue that whether it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life or not, owing to distinctive backgrounds and personal experience, divergent viewpoints will emerge. Some people hold the opinion that only this kind of movies can be called valuable as it is related to our real life and provide us with useful information. However, other people, including me, maintain that other movies which don't contain such deep thoughts about life have a wealth of importance to us. As I will discuss below.
To begin with, it is commonly acknowledged that the comedies which are always funny make us laugh and bring us a good mood when we are upset in life. Compared to the movies of great thoughts to life, it is more relaxing and attractive. Even though we can hardly learn anything from them, we can’t live without them as the happiness they convey to us can bright up our heart. For example, some people would choose to watch a movie of Chou Xingchi, a comedian in Hong Kong, when they lose their jobs or have problems in relationships. Most of them will feel better after they have an experience of laughing heartily.
Further more, some movies that are about the future, the myths or the things that never exist in real life have the values for us to watch. Take Harry Porter as an example, it is a movie about a world created by a female writer, which has nothing to do with our real life. However, we like it and enjoy it as the fantastic characters and various magic that only exist in our dreams. As a result, although these movies are about the things far away from the real life, they present the dream world of our heart or describe the various ideas of our initial mind.
Finally, we can not deny the fact that we can learn more from the movies that are related to our real lives. They are of great importance to equip us with the ability to think and to work. However, as far as I am concerned, other movies that are funny or fantastic are also worthwhile to see.


我挺讨厌我的开头的，看太多人家文章了，又长又复杂的，有没有好的开头借鉴哦。。。

米爆爆UID: 2892134

注意语法。积累多点好句型。尽量使自己的文章里有不同句式的长短句。
单词也要积累。特别是近义词。不要频繁使用同一个单词。
俺也是新手。改得不好的话请见谅哈。

蛋蛋妮儿UID: 2733589

就是感觉模板痕迹太重了，而且太老了~
建议看看无老师的打造满分作文模板：http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/1092
看完会有所启发的~

这是我改的。。我语言也不行，哎。。见谅。。
9、9 一个人的捉迷藏(doc).doc (31 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2010-9-10 20:20:06 上传

下载次数: 5

一个人的捉迷藏UID: 2874191

009.9 25NA do you agree or disagree: having jobs with low paying salary and being high secure is better than jobs with high salary but being easy to lost.

As an increasing number of newly graduated students step into the society and look for jobs, the competition in the job market is becoming fierce and cruel. More and more students prefer a job that can provide them a high secure no matter the salary is. They are longing for a stable life and don’t want to be one of the unemployed. However, if the job loses its challenge and promotion, what’s the meaning of the job?
As far as I am concerned, job is a chance to contribute one’s value and get repay for his efforts. Usually, a job with low paying salary and being high secure is like a check in supermarket, a normal typewriter in the company and so on. They are considered to be repeating the same thing day after day. One working in such positions will soon get bored and lose the passion for life. As a result, although we can attain a stable life from these jobs, we can't feel our values and lose the hope of promoting. It is a tragedy of job.
Some jobs are of high salary but easy to lose. No one can deny the risk of taking such jobs, but if one can get one job like that, he must treasure it and try his best to own the job. As the job provides one with challenge and chance, it is a good way to improve one’s ability as well as strengthening one’s perseverance. For example, being a manager is a high-risk job with goodish salary. In this position, one could face various trouble and emergencies. It may sounds stressful. But just like the old sayings “no pain, no gain”. It is in this environment that one can make progress so quickly and contribute his efforts without hesitation. Only can these jobs give people the passion to get promoted and the equal repay.
In conclusion, though different jobs have different advantages, I prefer to take the jobs with high salary but being easy to lost because I believe that one shouldn’t lose the passion and the ambition to life.

能有人告诉我如何上传附件吗？

一个人的捉迷藏UID: 2874191

2009. 10. 17 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished.

Nowadays, movies and televisions are the most common entertainment in our lives. They influence the goods we buy, the way we think, even the views of life. It is often shown on screen that good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished. Views on this phenomenon emerge. But to me, I agree on this point as the following reasons.
First of all, those who are influenced by these screen productions most are the teenagers or kids who are lack of the ability of independent thinking. If all they see are the people getting rewarded and punished this way, they will believe that is a rule which will lead their behavior in the real life. As people have the ability of intimating, they will learn from the good things and refuse to do the immoral and unprincipled things. It is a civilizing influence which can benefit everyone. For example, the movie “The Shawshank Redemption”  shows that the man who was innocent and trying his best to fight for his freedom finally got his repay and the man who was greed and did evil things got his punishment. I believe that audience after seeing this movie will be encouraged to fight for their goal and influenced by the spirit of the main actor.
Moreover, the TVs and the televisions are good vehicles to spread the optimistic spirit and to improve a nation’s cultural environment. If they shows the medias which are opposite to our basic principles, it will totally mislead some teenagers who are still childish. For instance, the newspaper recently showed that a group of teenagers became sucked into the organized criminal gangs was caught by police. When they were asked the question that what is the motivation of their doing this, they said they admire the actors who are cruel and rich by doing the violence in the movies. What a miserable result! If they are prevented from watching this kind of movie, the tragedy may not happen.
To conclude, I strongly hold the opinion that medias should good people being rewarded and bad people being punished as it can lead people to right path of life, which is of great importance for both individuals and the whole society.

zcnvszwjUID: 2815734

Nowadays, movies and televisions are the most common entertainment in our lives. They influence the goods we buy, the way we think, even the views of life. It is often shown on screen that good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished. Views on this phenomenon emerge（这句话短了点，可加点修饰什么的）. But to me, I agree on this point (what point?) as the following reasons.1 t  h  N+ O3
First of all, those who are influenced by these screen productions most are the teenagers or kids who are lack of the ability of independent thinking. If all they see are the people getting rewarded and punished this way, they will believe that is a rule which will lead their behavior in the real life. As people have the ability of intimating, they will learn from the good things and refuse to do the immoral and unprincipled things. It is a civilizing influence which can benefit everyone. For example, the movie “The Shawshank Redemption”  shows that the man who was innocent and trying his best to fight for his freedom finally got his repay and the man who was greed and did evil things got his punishment. I believe that audience after seeing this movie will be encouraged to fight for their goal and influenced by the spirit of the main actor. # p* B; }7 B$ A$ A4 L1 E
Moreover, the TVs and the televisions are good vehicles to spread the optimistic spirit and to improve a nation’s cultural environment. If they shows the medias which are opposite to our basic principles, it will totally mislead some teenagers who are still childish. For instance, the newspaper recently showed that a group of teenagers became sucked into the organized criminal gangs was caught by police. When they were asked the question that what is the motivation of their doing this, they said they admire the actors who are cruel and rich by doing the violence in the movies. What a miserable result! If they are prevented from watching this kind of movie, the tragedy may not happen.! o3 Y! d) m0 U1 n" k
To conclude, I strongly hold the opinion that medias should good people being rewarded and bad people being punished as it can lead people to right path of life, which is of great importance for both individuals and the whole society.
1、        某些词语运用不是很恰当，如vehicle主要指交通工具而非一般意义上的工具；
2、        字数可以在添加一些；
3、        没其他问题了，楼主加油！

xiaotuffUID: 2685811

不好意思 现在才回复楼主14号的作文
As an increasing number of newly graduated students step into the society and look for jobs, the competition in the job market is becoming fierce and cruel. More and more students prefer a job that can provide them with a high secure whatever the salary is. They are longing for a stable life and don’t want to be one of the unemployed. However, if the job loses its challenge and promotion, what’s the meaning of the job? (此句到底要表达什么，没有直接摆出观点)

As far as I am concerned, job is a chance to contribute→embody one’s value and get repay for his efforts. Usually, a job with low paying salary(low pay或者low salary) and （去掉being）high secure is like a check in supermarket, a normal typewriter in the company and so on. They are considered to be repeating the same thing day after day. One working in such positions will soon get bored and lose the passion for life. As a result, although we can attain a stable life from these jobs, we can't feel our values and lose the hope of promoting. It is a tragedy of job.
Some jobs are of high salary but easy to lose. No one can deny the risk of taking such jobs, but if one can get one job like that, he must treasure it and try his best to do it well. As the job provides one with challenge and chance, it is a good way to improve one’s ability as well as strengthen one’s perseverance. For example, being a manager is a high-risk job with goodish salary. In this position, one could face various troubles and emergencies. It may sound stressful. But just like the old sayings “no pain, no gain”. It is in this environment that one can make progress so quickly and contribute his efforts without hesitation. Only can these jobs give people the passion to get promoted and the equal repay.
In conclusion, though different jobs have different advantages, I prefer to take the jobs with high salary but being easy to lose because I believe that one shouldn’t lose the passion and the ambition to life.

allthetimeUID: 2898309

As an increasing number of newly graduated students step into the society and look for jobs, the competition in the job market is becoming fierce and cruel. More and more students prefer a job that can provide them a high secure no matter the salary is. They are longing for a stable life and don’t want to be one of the unemployed. However, if the job loses its challenge and promotion, what’s the meaning of the job?
As far as I am concerned, job is a chance to contribute one’s value and get repay for his efforts. Usually, a job with low paying salary and being high secure is like a check in supermarket, a normal typewriter in the company and so on. They are considered to be repeating the same thing day after day. One working in such positions will soon get bored and lose the passion for life. As a result, although we can attain a stable life from these jobs, we can't feel our values and lose the hope of promoting. It is a tragedy of job.
Some jobs are of high salary but easy to lose. No one can deny the risk of taking such jobs, but if one can get one job like that, he must treasure it and try his best to own the job. （try his best to maintain the job,或者换成其他动词）As the job provides one with challenge and chance, it is a good way to improve one’s ability as well as strengthening one’s perseverance. For example, being a manager is a high-risk job with goodish salary. In this position, one could face various trouble （troubles）and emergencies. It may sounds stressful. But just like the old sayings “no pain, no gain”. It is in this environment that one can make progress so quickly and contribute his efforts without hesitation. Only can these jobs give people the passion to get promoted and the equal repay.
In conclusion, though different jobs have different advantages, I prefer to take the jobs with high salary but being easy to lost (lose)because I believe that one shouldn’t lose the passion and the ambition to life.  T% J+ z* c/ h& ~(

结构很清楚。希望作者注意一下动词的使用（指动词的选择和词组搭配）。

一个人的捉迷藏UID: 2874191

9月22日09.05.30NA   
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.
Nowadays, there are various kinds of subjects set in a primary school student’s curriculum schedule, such as math, science, history and even art and music. Someone argue that it’s too early for a young kid to understand the beauty and meaning in art and music. However, I strongly support the idea that it provides more benefits for them to learn these curriculums at a young age
First of all, one has the ability to accept things and pick up them in a short time when he is young. One learns how to walk and how to speak a language in his first few years being in the world. If he shows interest in or music, he can have a quick learning process in the area, which might cost others’ years’ hard working learning a new subject after growing up. What’s more, one has the most potential in childhood because his imagination hasn’t been influenced by the routine thinking ways and his ability can’t be estimated easily. From this prospective, if one learns art or music when he is young, he may achieve success more easily. For example, many universally famous pianists and painters began to learn music or drawings before they are ten years old. Mozart played the piano at the age of five and soon he showed his talent in music. He left so many great pieces of work to the world that he is viewed as a phenomenon by people.
Further more, children need to be cultivated by art and music, the great treasure left by so many excellent artists. Imagine that if a school only sets up the curriculum like maths, science and so on, how dull and boring would the school be. Although we can’t deny that one can learn logics and wisdom from these subjects, one also needs the education of appreciating beauty and inventing beauty. Even though we can’t born with the talent of singing or drawing, we can learn how to enjoy them and color our lives with them. And it’s best to learn it when we are young so that we can form the habit of it which will benefit our later growth and whole lives.
To conclude, I totally agree the opinion that younger school children should be required to study art and music besides math and science because it provides inestimable advantages

一个人的捉迷藏UID: 2874191

9月22日09.05.30NA   
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.
Nowadays, there are various kinds of subjects set in a primary school student’s curriculum schedule, such as math, science, history and even art and music. Someone argue that it’s too early for a young kid to understand the beauty and meaning in art and music. However, I strongly support the idea that it provides more benefits for them to learn these curriculums at a young age
First of all, one has the ability to accept things and pick up them in a short time when he is young. One learns how to walk and how to speak a language in his first few years being in the world. If he shows interest in or music, he can have a quick learning process in the area, which might cost others’ years’ hard working learning a new subject after growing up. What’s more, one has the most potential in childhood because his imagination hasn’t been influenced by the routine thinking ways and his ability can’t be estimated easily. From this prospective, if one learns art or music when he is young, he may achieve success more easily. For example, many universally famous pianists and painters began to learn music or drawings before they are ten years old. Mozart played the piano at the age of five and soon he showed his talent in music. He left so many great pieces of work to the world that he is viewed as a phenomenon by people.
Further more, children need to be cultivated by art and music, the great treasure left by so many excellent artists. Imagine that if a school only sets up the curriculum like maths, science and so on, how dull and boring would the school be. Although we can’t deny that one can learn logics and wisdom from these subjects, one also needs the education of appreciating beauty and inventing beauty. Even though we can’t born with the talent of singing or drawing, we can learn how to enjoy them and color our lives with them. And it’s best to learn it when we are young so that we can form the habit of it which will benefit our later growth and whole lives.
To conclude, I totally agree the opinion that younger school children should be required to study art and music besides math and science because it provides inestimable advantages

seekniUID: 2766850

Nowadays, there are various kinds of subjects set in a primary school student’s curriculum schedule, such as math, science, history and even art and music. Someone argue that it’s too early for a young kid to understand the beauty and meaning in art and music这句写得不是很好。没定义清楚. However, I strongly support the idea that it provides more benefits for them to learn these curriculums at a young age

First of all, one has the ability to accept things and pick up them in a short time when he is young. One learns how to walk and how to speak a language in his first few years being in the world. If he shows interest in or music, he can have a quick learning process in the area, which might cost others’ years’ hard working learning a new subject after growing up. What’s more, one has the most potential in childhood because his imagination hasn’t been influenced by the routine thinking ways and his ability can’t be estimated easily. From this prospective, if one learns art or music when he is young, he may achieve success more easily. For example, many universally famous pianists and painters began to learn music or drawings before they are ten years old. Mozart played the piano at the age of five and soon he showed his talent in music. He left so many great pieces of work to the world that he is viewed as a phenomenon by people.

Further more, children need to be cultivated by art and music, the great treasure left by so many excellent artists. Imagine that if a school only sets up the curriculum like maths, science and so on, how dull and boring would the school be. Although we can’t deny that one can learn logics and wisdom from these subjects, one also needs the education of appreciating beauty and inventing beauty. Even though we can’t born with the talent of singing or drawing, we can learn how to enjoy them and color our lives with them. And it’s best to learn it when we are young so that we can form the habit of it which will benefit our later growth and whole lives.

To conclude, I totally agree the opinion that younger school children should be required to study art and music besides math and science because it provides inestimable advantages
我自己水平也有限，只能把我自己的想法写出来，当个建议吧。
1，题目没有理解清楚，说的是要求低年级，高年级呢？作者忽略了。
2，模板用得太多了，我不知道托福能不能用这么多的模板哦。
3，有一些表达得还是不是很清楚。

就这些了，欢迎批我的。