一一的作文本

zhoupengyuUID：2610580

开始了吧。。。。
写的不好，慢慢练了。。。

Practice in Aug 10th.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and TV programs made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made in other countries.

There is much controversy over the issue of which kind of visual program is more popular. Some people claim that the movies and TV programs which made in homeland are more interesting, while others argue that the programs which made in abroad are better. Determine which one is better is difficult since different people have different points of view. In my opinion, I agree that the television programs or movies which made in my own country are more interesting.
First of all, the people who live in different country or area have different culture. That makes the audiences who live in various countries have their own taste in the movies and TV programs. For instance, the Indian trend to express their feeling and love via singing and dancing in movie, while the Korean like the movies and TV programs which describe the human’s subtle and refined sensibility. It is very possible that the Korean feels noisy and candid when they seeing the Indian movies.
At the second place, the audiences like to watch television programs which they are familiar with. All of the subjects of movies and TV programs are come from our life. When an audience watching TV or seeing a film, he or she always trends to compare the scenario with his or her life, thus the resonance makes him or her to forget himself in the movie or TV programs. We can hardly image that the human would enjoy a scenario which totally strange to them. That’s why some films or TV programs cannot be accepted around the world even it is successful in its own country.
The last but not least, movies and TV programs made in other countries may against with location’s value or custom. For example, it is forbidden to eat pork in the Muslim area, and the cattle is an inviolable animal. If there is any such this kind of scenario existed in certain movie or TV programs, it would be boycotted obviously.
However, we cannot refuse that there are some films and TV programs can be accepted around the world, such as Titanic, Friends, and even The America’s Got Talent. Those aforementioned movies and TV programs are not only popular in US, but they are also popular in China. Because these movies and TV programs express general value, such as affection, friendship, courage and never give up, of human.
In conclusion, it must be explained that all above reasons sometime interwine to form an organic whole. It is hardly to define whether a film or TV program can be popular in a certain country because of various reasons. But in general, the movies and TV programs which made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made on other countries.

binghuoshenlongUID：2670882

There is much controversy（请回复此处是否有次用法未见过这种用法,it always be ---this is a controversial issue） over the issue of(of改成that)
which kind of visual program is more popular. Some people claim that the movies and TV programs which made in homeland are more interesting, while others argue that the programs which(which 最好省略了) made in abroad（个人认为是made abroad） are better. Determine（determining） which one is better is difficult since different people have different points of view（views或者直接opinions吧）. In my opinion, I agree that the television programs or movies which made in my own country are more interesting.* u# c3 ^0 h% _
First of all, the people who live in different country复数 or area复数 have different cultures That makes the audiences who live in various countries have their own taste in the movies and TV programs. For instance, the Indians trend to express their feeling and love via singing and dancing in movie, while the Korean like the movies and TV programs which describe the human’s subtle and refined sensibility. It is very possible that the Korean feels noisy and candid（这是个褒义词） when they seeing the Indian movies.
O7 `! b% j1 e6 Y
At the second place, the audiences like to watch television programs which they are familiar with. All of the subjects of movies and TV programs are come（无需are） from our life. When an audience watching TV or seeing a film, he or she always trends to compare the scenario with his or her life, thus the resonance（不知对否请回复此处是否有次用法） makes him or her to forget himself in the movies or TV programs. We can hardly image that the human would enjoy a scenario which is totally strange to them. That’s why some films or TV programs cannot be accepted around the world even it is successful in its own country.. d9 p' @4 o* K1 `. a/ H
The last but not least, movies and TV programs made in other countries may against with location （建议改为 local people）’s value 建议加上system or custom. For example, it is forbidden to eat pork in the Muslim area, and the cattle is an inviolable animal. If there is any such this kind of scenario existed in certain movie or TV programs, it would be boycotted obviously.
However, we cannot refuse that there are some films and TV programs can be accepted around the world, such as Titanic, Friends, and even The America’s Got Talent. Those aforementioned movies and TV programs are not only popular in US, but they are also popular in China. Because these movies and TV programs express general value, such as affection, friendship, courage and never giveing up, of human.
In conclusion, it must be explained that all above reasons sometime interwine sometimes intervene to form an organic whole加上body，whole是形容词. It is hardly to define whether a film or TV program can be popular in a certain country because of various reasons. But in general, the movies and TV programs which made in one’s own country are more interesting than those made in other countries.
你好，本人有几个看法
1．
本文论证比较简单，逻辑似乎不明确，力度不够，但是观点很明确
汉语思维较严重，个别单复数有问题，还有很多缺少ing，注意一下
2 本文中有些地方本人不是很清楚，假如你认为我改的有问题，请告诉我，我们再探讨，以下几个地方务必回复，在文中我用绿色标出，这些地方是我有疑问的。
3．请认真修改本人文章，本人修改你的用了30分钟哦， 修改本人文章的时候请用其他颜色标出有问题的地方，就如修改的一样，谢谢，随便批评，批评与指正是进步的源泉。假如不能发带颜色的，请发至本人邮箱。

zhoupengyuUID：2610580

谢谢你的修改^_^

1. There is much controversy...是一个固定句式。例如：
However, there is much controversy on the actual contribution of the IMTG pool as a substrate source during exercise.

There is much controversy nowadays about whether or not Ph. D students, who have been learning English for years since the middle school...

2. resonance这个词我也是第一次用，但看其释义仿佛是可以用的：
n. 1. 共鸣；回响；共振
2.  (声音) 洪亮；响亮
3.  (文章、乐曲等) 激发联想的力量；引起共鸣的力量；引起的联想（或共鸣）
4. (情感)同感

google上搜了一下，好像也是可以用的，例如：
http://ezinearticles.com/?Resona ... -Truth&id=57941
Have you ever heard something that really "resonated" with you? I'm sure that if you are in tune with yourself emotionally, physically and/or spiritually you will know this experience well. Have you however ever reflected on what it means when something "resonates" with you?
...
1. To say "I resonate with what was said" means "what was said is true for me".

2. This feeling of resonance or truthfulness does not originate in the intellect or mind but where one experiences themselves to be in their body.

3. This feeling of resonance corresponds to an inner intelligence that is beyond mind or brain and that does not rely on the latter for knowledge.
...

希望您能够继续帮助我进步^_^

zhoupengyuUID：2610580

真难写啊这篇。。。。。

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life
What is success? There are much definitions of it throughout history to today. Some people believe that success means power, wealth or status. Some ones argue that the success equal to other people’s praise or even respect. All above definitions are base on try to put other people’s judgments and success together. As far as I know, I do not totally agree this kind of opinion.
Indeed, we live in society, and it makes us have to contact various social groups and every kind of people. It is inevitable that we living in the atmosphere which filled with other people’s evaluation, and will be affected by other people’s mind sometimes. For example, certain person wants to donate money to a beggar originally. But he might give up because some ones ask him that beggars are lazy, and it is unworthy to be pitied. Human, as social animals, would obviously consider other people’s evaluation. But should we link all of our own success with other people’s judgment merely? I don’t think so.
Success is a feeling, a positive feeling when you achieve a certain goal. For instance, when u resolved a hardly question of your homework, you are success; When you cooked lovely meals and your friends enjoyed it, you are success; Even when you finished all level of a certain game, you are success as well. Success is not only contains the feeling when society recognize your value, but also include that the feeling which you recognized yourself.
While if you link your success with the social recognition, you might hesitate to make decision. As we know, a successful person is a brave and resolute man. If a person who scare to make decision, he or she might lose confidence finally.
In conclusion, it must be explained that all aforementioned reasons sometimes interwine to form an organic whole. So, any thinking individual must believe that the definition of success contains two aspects, one is the social recognition, and the second one is the feeling which comes from yourself. Overemphasis one side will mislead us and impede the our progress.

layla1989UID：2832481

改好了~~写的挺不错的~~~观点明确~看起来很轻松

肖婷~UID：2740510

已经改好了，具体见附件~

niunianUID：2864048

改好了~~~8.12

zhoupengyuUID：2610580

In this modern era, telephone and television are act as important roles in human’s daily life. People use telephone to communicate with each other. And they watch TV to extract useful information or only for entertainment. It is too difficult for us to choose which one is more effective for human’s life, since different people have different point of view. If we only have one selection, I am convincing that the telephone is more effective for us.
Indeed, when television invented, we human are mad on this little, square, magical box. Up to now, television does have a profound impact to our daily life. We broaden our kens from TV news, enrich our knowledge from TV educational programs, and sharpen our mind from every kind of TV analysis programs. Furthermore, when we want to relax, the first choice which arises in our mind is also television. Can we conclude that the television is more effective that telephone? I don’t think so.
First of all, the thing which could efficiently affect human’s mind is communication, especially the communication which between human. Television is a machine which only acts as a transfer, while telephone could perfect perform in the role of communicator. When we watching TV, we can only extract the information, but we cannot express our mind to it. It is easy to make us tired that only extract information or knowledge. While when we use telephone to communicate with our family, friend, or colleague, we could not only extract the information, but could also speak our thoughts out. This kind of communication can make us be more patient to think. Therefore, it is more effective to mankind obviously.
At the second place, as a tool which used in communication, telephone is irreplaceable one in our world, especially when we entered in Information Age. When we retrospect history which telephone did not burn, we can only communicate friend or family who is far away from us via letters. It takes a long time and inefficient. Even though, it has a high risk that the letters might be lost. Thanks for telephone, we can talk with everyone no matter where it is or who it is now. These characteristic being central and is more important to the businessmen. In business world, people should be more efficient because of time is money. It may well is that the businessman lose a business deal only for the information delay.
Last but not least, with the rapid advance of science and technology, the telephone which concludes the functions of television was invented. We can use telephone to watch TV now, but television, still only act as a television. I don’t know whether the television can finish telephone’s job in future. But now, it is obvious that the telephone is more effective than television.

anitaxjaUID：2758421

In this modern era, telephone and television are act(acting) as important roles in human’s daily life. People use telephone to communicate with each other. And(while) they watch TV to extract useful information or only for entertainment. It is too difficult for us to choose which one is more effective for human’s life, since different people have different point of view. If we only have one selection, I am convincing that the telephone is more effective for us.

Indeed, when television was invented, we human drove crazy on this little, square, magical box. Up to now, television does have a profound impact to our daily life. We broaden our kens from TV news, enrich our knowledge from TV educational programs, and sharpen our mind from every kind of TV analysis programs.(并列例句很有说服力！) Furthermore, when we want to relax, the first choice which arises in our mind is also television. Can we conclude that the television is more effective that telephone? I don’t think so.（先提出反面理由，使得逻辑更严谨，值得学习）

First of all, the thing which could efficiently affect human’s mind is communication, especially the communication which between human. Television is a machine which only acts as a transfer, while telephone could perfect perform in the role of communicator. When we are watching TV, we can only extract the information, but we cannot express our mind to(with) it. It is easy to make us tired that only extracting information or knowledge. While when we use telephone to communicate with our family, friend, or colleague, we could not only extract the information, but could also speak our thoughts out. This kind of communication can make us be more patient to think. Therefore, it is more effective to mankind obviously.(建议把结尾的总结句提前到首句，使得思路更清晰。避免中文写作中先分后总的结构)

At(In，我记得是In啊..如果lz确定at也ok那忽略我吧嘿嘿) the second place, as a tool which（可省） used in communication, telephone is irreplaceable one（删） in our world, especially when we entered in Information Age. When we retrospect history which telephone did not burn, we can only communicate with friend or family who is far away from us via letters. It takes(took) a long time and was inefficient. Even though, it has(had) a high risk that the letters might be lost. Thanks for the telephone, we can talk with everyone no matter where it is or who it is now. These characteristic being central and is more important to the businessmen. In business world, people should be more efficient because of (删,because of 后为名词结构)time is money. It may well is that the businessman lose a business deal only for the information delay. （这句是不是缺了什么词？读不明白..）

Last but not least, with the rapid advancement of science and technology, the telephone which concludes the functions of television was invented. We can use telephone to watch TV now, but television, still only act as a television. I don’t know whether the television can finish telephone’s job in future. But now, it is obvious that the telephone is more effective than television.

总的来说论证不错，语法错误应当引起重视。此外，建议把主题句放在每一段的开始，像最后一段那样，我觉得这样思路会比较清楚。

不好意思啊LZ，因为我这个礼拜六就考了，所以拖到今天才来修改，恳请谅解。加油。