chenyyalex的烂作文本

shadowranUID: 2864083

9.7 独立 改

shadowranUID: 2864083

9.8 改

shadowranUID: 2864083

给你改我也能提高
我水平也不是很高，要是有能帮到你的地方我就很满足了
有机会继续互改

xqsissyUID: 2812149

35# chenyyalex
下载了，我的作文在这里：
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1129902&page=2#pid1774348463


17楼

谢谢批阅！

xqsissyUID: 2812149

35# chenyyalex
改好了～！

luolnUID: 2689004

修改好了～～

还需要再多加油啊！

belinda_777UID: 2669901

改好了

qingqingcao09UID: 2620358

chenyyalex(Young)

怎么没找到你9.15的综合协作？我们分一组了

qy10166341UID: 2653519

Government should more support art museum and music performance than recreational
facilities, such as swimming pool or play ground.

Why do governments want to support art museum and music performance？ Maybe they think that art and music can make people's quality higher than before. But I disagree with this opinion, because I think that developing recreational facilities are the base of people's life, and I have following reasons to support my viewpoint.（）

First of all, when summer holidays come, there are numerous of people like to go swimming, but the swimming pools are very dirty, why? Because compared with updating swimming pools, governments prefer to build up more museums. A recent investigation conducted by Chinese Academy of Social Science demonstrates that in 2009, eighty-one percentage swimming pools have not been cleaned for half a year, only five percentage of them was
cleaned each week. According to this data, we can understand that if governments do not update the swimming pool facility, maybe after few years, people will not go swimming in public pools. Because they are afraid of water that is harmful to them.(个人觉得论据有点不合适，可以用新的论据)

The first example is only an illustration that there is a deeper theory underlying this problem, that is nowadays, –numerous play grounds and swimming pools are closedbecause of lack of governments' supporting, But in fact, people cannot afford that price. Because they think that not only water has been polluted, but also the price will be increased. Consequently, most of people object to this plan. For example, in Guangzhou, a lot of play grounds and swimming pools are been closed every year. The indispensable reason is that they have not enough money to support the daily spending. Therefore, numerous people have not any places to swim or play. As I see, if governments are concerned about people's daily sport, they should pay more money to improve and then preserve recreational facilities.

Of course, governments support art museums and music performances also having some advantages, such as it can make people's classical quality higher than before. Because in China, there are a lot of people are lack of classical knowledge.

In conclusion, although most of government officers support that they should build up more art museums and music performances in future,
I still believe that, compared with museums and performances, most of people prefer to the latest recreational facilities.


个人觉得立论有问题，论据感觉有点莫名其妙。个人见解。

xuanjiu518UID: 2812721

修改了，没啥客气话啊，别介意~~~

evaeva0330UID: 2773544

诶^我想说你改错了诶~你应该该我920的作文 可是&……你却改成了之前的~抑郁啊~~~