cedarlu的TOEFL作文贴

cedarluUID: 2668668

题目：是telephone 还是television对人类的有more effects （2010年8月17日作业）
Television seems to influence people much more than telephone. Most people spend more time on television rather than telephone. There is no doubt that television can affect the mass swiftly. Moreover, television programs are usually free of charge.
In most cases, people enjoy watching television as sort of entertainment after a whole day's work. And people usually spend hours on television, including children and senior citizens. However, most of us do not usually make phone calls constantly, even for just an hour. Thus, we may conclude that people use televisions more frequently than telephones.
Secondly, television can indeed affect the majority of civilians instantly and profoundingly. When we watch the television, we may find that the content of different programs is much more friendly to the authority than some books, some magazines, including some newspapers. The reason is that television is a multimedia which can persuade people easily and affect the audience so greatly that the authority has to be cautious with it. That's why television stations are well controlled by the governments in most nations.
Thirdly, we have to pay money to some companies while we use telephones. On the contrary, there are always some television channels that are free of charge. Especially considering some tele-monopolies in China, Chinese could be more reluctant to use telephones for the expensive price they have to pay.
For the above-mentioned reasons, I suppose that television can make more effects to human beings than telephone.

longxue26UID: 2687755

Television seems to influence people much more than telephone. Most people spend more time on television rather than telephone. There is no doubt that television can affect the mass swiftly. Moreover, television programs are usually free of charge. 你没表明你的观点

In most cases, people enjoy watching television as sort of entertainment after a whole day's work. And people usually spend hours on television, including children and senior citizens. However, most of us do not usually make phone calls constantly, even for just an hour. Thus, we may conclude that people use televisions more frequently than telephones. 打电话时间的长短能说明电视的使用频率更高?

Secondly, television can indeed affect the majority of civilians instantly and profoundingly. When we watch the television, we may find that the content of different programs is much more friendly to the authority than some books, some magazines, including some newspapers. The reason is that television is a multimedia which can persuade people easily and affect the audience so greatly that the authority has to be cautious with it. That's why television stations are well controlled by the governments in most nations. 其实 这段说的很有思想! 佩服!

Thirdly, we have to pay money to some companies while we use telephones. On the contrary, there are always some television channels that are free of charge. Especially considering some tele-monopolies in China, Chinese could be more reluctant to use telephones for the expensive price they have to pay." 哇! 你真的是超~有思想!

For the above-mentioned reasons, I suppose that television can make more effects to human beings than telephone.

我觉得您肯定是一大牛的主儿
没什么错误可改的
您这文章要是让老美的politics看到了 肯定拿到宣传部大作文章啊 攻击中国人权好武器啊
哈哈 玩笑哈
我觉得 稍稍稍稍 有那么一点点的 偏离中心... 仅为个人意见 说错的地方 权当臭氧层子!

JulianlodUID: 2688193

1# cedarlu

Television seems to influence people much more than telephone. Most people spend more time on television rather than telephone. There is no doubt that television can affect the mass swiftly. Moreover, television programs are usually free of charge. (最好有表示自己的看法词)
In most cases, people enjoy watching television as sort of entertainment after a whole day's work. And people usually spend hours on television, including children and senior citizens. However, most of us do not usually make phone calls constantly, even for just an hour. Thus, we may conclude that people use televisions more frequently than telephones.（frequently和文章主题影响大的关系没有说明）
Secondly, television can indeed affect the majority of civilians instantly and profoundingly（profoundly）. When we watch the television, we may find that the content of different programs is much more friendly(friendlier) to the authority than some books, some magazines, including some newspapers. The reason is that television is a multimedia which can persuade people easily and affect the audience so greatly that the authority has to be cautious with it. That's why television stations are well controlled by the governments in most nations.' s1 @; @' O6 w' t
Thirdly, we have to pay money to some companies while we use telephones. On the contrary, there are always some television channels that are free of charge. Especially considering some tele-monopolies in China, Chinese could be more reluctant to use telephones for the expensive price they have to pay.(呵呵 其实电视也挺贵的 尤其现在数字电视)
For the above-mentioned reasons, I suppose that television can make more effects to human beings than telephone.
整体结构简单流畅 就是感觉字数有点不够 考试最低貌似还要求250字呢 再多一点论证和例子会更让文章convincing and logically acceptable.

cedarluUID: 2668668

谢谢您中肯的评改！！ 3# Julianlod